Never Alone Again
by annieDD
Summary: Being Steve Harrington's sister has its ups and downs. Too weird to be a popular kid and too normal to be considered a loser; that's Tina Harrington. Starts 2 months before season 1. Jonathan/OC, Nancy/Steve pairings. Worry not, I write about the kids too all of them! Will cover the period between season 1 and 2! Rated T for language. Enjoy! :)
1. Prologue

**Well, this one wasn't planned. I have a few stories going on already but this idea just… refused to leave my head.  
I'll see if I continue it. It depends on your reaction, I guess. If you guys are interested, I'll keep it up. **

**All you need to know is in the description and in the first chapter. No Jancy. Jonathan/OC, Steve/Nancy (what's the ship name for them?). I'll write for the kids too, if I keep it up, because they're beyond awesome. Oh, one more thing: English isn't my first language so there might be a mistake here and there but I do my best! :)**

 **So, welcome to the world of Tina Harrington. Let me know if you think I should keep it up! This could be good guys. This could be really good. Let me know what you think! Enjoy! :)**

* * *

Beep. Beep. Beep.

7:30.

Crap.

Crap!

I don't even open my eyes all the way before I throw on some jeans; I grab the first T-shirt I can find. It's too big for me, so I roll it up a bit on the side.

That's it. I don't have time for details.

I charge into the bathroom, splashing my face within seconds. I use one hand to brush my teeth and the other one to put a bit of blush. Spit out, wash the brush, some mascara and the most important final touch; I lean over the bathtub, throwing my hair around; I spray and… nothing.

I try again but the bottle all but screams.

"Crap! STEVE!" I yell. Of course, nothing. "I'll kill you, you little shit!" I yell from the top of my lungs.

"Language!" I hear mom yell from the hallway. Well, if she heard me, so did my brother. Cursing, I pull my hair up in a ponytail, all dull and flat. Still cursing under my breath, I throw on a jean jacket and grab my backpack before walking downstairs to the kitchen. I smack Steve right on the head.

"Hey!"

"That's the second time this month that you've used all my hairspray, jackass!"

"Tina, language!" mom snaps at me again.

"Buy your own next time," I tell him, not surprised when he just rolls my eyes. I ignore the empty plate that was waiting for me, just as I do every other morning. Coffee is the only thing I need right now. I lean on the counter as I take a big gulp of it; it's already cooled off, just the way I like it. I notice that my mom is dressed in one of her nice dresses. "Are you going somewhere?"

"I have a business trip today in Indianapolis," dad tells me in between two bites of his sunny side up eggs. "We will be back by tomorrow afternoon."

"I have to do some shopping," mom sighs, as if that's the worst obligations she could have. Steve and I make eye contact as I take another gulp of coffee; empty house can only mean one thing. "Tina, can you make dinner for the two of you today?" she asks me.

"Sure, I have a day off today," I shrug, already knowing that we will definitely order pizza and that tomorrow I'll be back to the hell that is the farmer's market. That's what I get for being an older kid and for wanting my own car; I have to most of the price myself. "We won't starve."

"We'll be late, we'd better get going." Steve announces as he stands up.

"See you tomorrow,' I mumble as I give mom a kiss before walking over to dad to do the same. Not saying anything else, Steve and I walk out of the house. I throw my backpack onto the back seat before taking my place on the passenger seat. "Party tonight?" I ask him as he starts the car.

"Hell yeah," he chuckles. "It's still warm. I'm thinking a pool party is a good way to celebrate the first week of school being over."

"Yeah, pretend like we don't have months of torture before us?" I roll my eyes. "Jesus Steve, could you ever change the freakin' cassette? I'm gonna start hating Olivia Newton John because of you," I mumble as I rummage through glove compartment, looking for another cassette as my brother teases me by singing along to "Physical". Finally, I find one with my name scribbled on it and I quickly change it. I smile as the first riff of 'Edge of seventeen' starts playing. That's more my jam.

"I'll buy the beer, you get the house ready."

"Please tell me you're not gonna invite Tommy and Carol."

"They're my friends."

"Steve, come on, you know I don't like them," I whine. I don't have a problem with most of Steve's friends but it just so happens that the ones I have a problem with are the ones he is closest too. Tommy is a dick and Carol is just stupid. "If you invite him, the party will suck for me. I know we have our moments but do you really want to make me that miserable?" I ask. Playing on my brother's compassion isn't a smart move, not all the time. But sometimes… it kind of is.

"If I don't invite them, I'm gonna have to explain it."

"Fine, then invite someone else as well," I sigh, knowing that it would be pretty weird if he doesn't invite two of his best friends. "Someone normal. Please. And keep the number under 10 because I don't wanna know what will happen if they find out we had a party while they were away."

"Since when are you the responsible one?" Steve laughs.

"Since you killed my mood with leaving me without my hairspray," I complain again, earning another eye roll. "Look, one of us needs to think. This time, it's me. Keep the number low and for the love of good, do not leave me with those two dickheads alone."

"You can invite someone too, you know?" he laughs. "We can keep it under 10 and you'll have someone to talk about."

"Steve, you're my big brother," I roll my eyes. "You know very well that the people who want to hang out with me because I'm Steve Harrington's baby sister are not the people I like hanging out with."

"That translates into 'I don't have friends', right?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

I mean, I talk to people. Being Steve's sister, it's kind of hard not to. But there's no one I am close with. The only real friend I have is Steve, and I don't even talk to him as much as I once used to.

I'm too weird to be a popular kid and too normal to be considered a loser. And I'm a fucking Harrington.

"Invite someone, anyone," Steve tells me. "Ignore Tommy and Carol and just try to have fun."

"Just give me beer and I'll survive." I sigh as I roll down the window; I light a cigarette and stick my hand out the window. We sit in silence, listening to Stevie Nicks as she kills it, like she always does.

I don't get a kick out of school like my brother does. I just… spend my time here, I guess. But his face always lights up whenever he parks the car and steps outside, fitting the role that high school had given him. He feeds on this. Too each their own, I guess.

"Don't be late after class, alright?" he asks me the moment we get out of the car. "I won't wait for you."

"Maybe you should go and buy me that hairspray and come back to get me?" I suggest.

"I'm not waiting for you again, Tina!" He yells after me.

"Yes, you are!" I yell back as I walk away, not turning around to face him. If I am late, he will wait for me, despite his threats. He always does.

* * *

I got my first camera when I was 14. Dad gave it to me; it was his way for making up for the fact that he had missed another one of my birthdays. Third one in a row, if memory serves me well. He was never forgiven for that, nor will he ever be, but the camera I got because of his guilt was pretty sweet.

I was 15 when I bought a better one and just a few months ago, I bought the one I'm using now. I don't have a part time job for the fun of it. I want things and I don't want to depend on Daddy in order to get them. This time around, I'm saving for a car. I'm tired of having Steve play my cab driver.

I don't like many things, if I'm being honest. I don't like people in general. I don't like working, nor do I like studying. I don't like Brussels sprouts and I hate pudding. I can't stand Sylvester Stallone.

I do like photography. I like watching movies and I can never get enough of music. I like painting, sculpting and reading. Anything remotely related to art, I'm interested in it. And history too.

I guess that's why I don't really have a good friend; it tends to happen when you don't like people in general. Twice a week, after classes are done, I make Steve wait for me as I develop the photographs in the basement of Hawkins High. The dark room is the only part of school that I actually like.

It's my place too; no one ever comes here. If they knew what kind of privacy they could have here, I imagine the dark room would soon become a hot new make out spot for high school sweethearts. Luckily for me, they have no idea. Which means I can listen to music and work on my photographs in peace. I can even risk it, and light an occasional cigarette.

It's one of those days. I dance around to Bowie's 'Let's dance' that is blasting through the stereo, a cigarette between my teeth when I suddenly notice that I'm not alone.

"Jesus!" I gasp in surprise, picking up the cigarette that fell out of my mouth. Jonathan Byers is standing at the door, looking equally as shocked as I did. "Did you ever hear of knocking?" I snap, still unnerved with his entrance. I couldn't hear him and he scared the shit out of me, especially in this lighting.

"I'm sorry, I, I, I," he stammers. "I didn't think anyone would be here."

Well, that's obvious by the way he marched in here, scaring the shit out of me.

"Knock next time, alright? I'm here every other day; I don't wanna die all young and pretty." I mumble, finally able to breathe properly. The little dance party I was having is officially over now. I don't say anything as I watch him as he finally relaxes, working around his camera.

I don't think I've ever really talked to him before. He's a quiet guy. We have a few classes together but we never worked on a project together, never sat next to each other. It could be a shame; he seems to be interested in photography as well. He is here, after all. And they do say that friends have things in common. I sure as hell have more in common with him than I do with Tommy; I don't even need to speak with him to know that.

But I can't just start a conversation like that. It's too awkward; you can't come up to someone and just say 'hey, I want to be your friend'. And he might be a bit too weird.

I work in silence and so does he, but my mojo has already been killed. I couldn't actually act like myself when I am no longer alone. At least the music is still good.

"But there's just one thing," I sing along with Annie Lennox, under my breath. "Just one thing."

"You like 'Eurythmics'?"

I wasn't expecting to talk to him, and I definitely wasn't expecting him to be the one who starts the conversation. He's even more awkward than I am.

"Annie is the queen."

"Yeah, she is," he chuckles. Holy hell, he can laugh too? "She's like the female version of Bowie."

"You're right," I mumble; I couldn't have said it better myself. "You like Bowie?"

"Who doesn't like Bowie?" he laughs.

"My Dad, for one," I laugh in response. "He's too old school to accept Ziggy Stardust."

I start taking my photos of the string, seeing as they are dry enough; I look over his photos that are still in liquid. He has a good eye, I'll give him that.

"Is that your brother?" I ask, pointing at a photo of a laughing boy, aged 10 or something like that.

"Yeah," he nods his head. "He doesn't really like being photographed, though."

"Well, that makes him a natural model," I shrug; the boy seems genuinely happy in the photo. "When they pose, the photo just loses its magic. If you catch them off guard, it's golden. Take it from me; my brother was born posing." I mumble, even laughing when he chuckles at my comment. Oh, why the hell not? I'm young and crazy only once, aren't I? "What are you doing later today?" I blurt out.

"Uh… working?" he is confused by my question. I can't really blame him.

"All day long or is your shift over at some point?" I ask.

"Uh… I'm done with work around seven," he mumbles. "Why are you asking me this?"

"Because there's going to be a party at my place tonight," I tell him as I tuck the photos in my backpack. "My parents are out of town, so why the hell not? Nothing big, just a couple of people. You should come over." I tell him. Steve had said it himself. Invite someone, anyone. I'm doing just that. The moment I invite him, I can see the surprise on his face. Surprise, followed by hesitation.

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea."

"Why not?" I ask. Sure, it's a bit weird but why the hell not.

"Your brother?" he offers. Of course it's all about Steve.

"Do you don't get along with him or have you never actually talked to him?" I wonder.

"I've never actually talked to him but I'm pretty sure-" he starts.

"Look, you don't have to come over if you don't one to," I chuckle as I put on my jacket. With a sigh, I throw the backpack over my shoulder. "I'm not gonna get insulted or something like that. You just… seemed like a more interesting person to talk to than most of those that will be there. But hey, if you bail on me, I'll hide away in my room, listen to some good music and have a few beers. And if you do decide to show up, you can join me." I shrug. Either way, I'll live. One option just might be a bit less boring than the other one. "It's your call, Byers."

And with that, I leave him. We'll see just how much explaining I'll Jonathan Byers does knock on our door today and Steve happens to be the one who opens it.

I'll figure something out. I always do.


	2. Dancing With Myself

**Wow guys, 11 follows already. I'd say that's a pretty solid start for this!  
As you can see, the idea still didn't leave me and I'm writing, full speed! I hope to update soon again! **

**Thank you for your reviews, I'm really glad you're liking it so far! Let me know what you think. I need to figure out if this will be a short story or a full one. I normally write long stories, so a short one would be a strange… if anyone's interested, I'll be more than happy to keep it up!**

 **So, let me know what you think! What do you think of Tina and do you think she and Jonathan would make a good pair? What about her relationship with Steve? How will she fit into the "Stranger Things" world? Let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)**

* * *

I hear the doorbell and I jump up at once, making the magazines I was skimming through fall from the bed; I then trip on my blanket on my way to the door; tripping over the blanket and cursing, I finally manage to make my way to the hallway in one piece.

All of Steve's friends are already here. We already had dinner. It's not one of his dick friends and it's not the delivery boy, so it can only be the one person I have invited and if I am right, I need to be the one that opens the damned door. It can't be Steve. Anyone but Steve. Literally, anyone else.

I run down the hallway but I stop the moment I get to the stairs; Steve's already unlocking the door.

The time that it took for him to push the door handle down feels like eternity; it's like one of those cheap slow motion moments in movies. I can totally relate to a character that has their life flashing before their eyes. That's what it really feels like. From this place, I can't see the look on my brother's face but I have a pretty good idea of what it is. On the other hand, I can see Jonathan perfectly and he flinches when he sees my brother on the other side of the door. Damn it.

Steve turns around, as if he knows that I am overseeing this little… moment. He raises his eyebrows.

"I know I said _anyone_ but jeez Tina-"

"Hey!" I beam at Jonathan, rushing down the stairs to stop Steve from saying something that would just make me want to punch him. "I'm glad you could come." I grab his hand and pull him away from my brother and up the stairs. I notice Steve giving me a weird look and I hope he can read the look on my face loud and clear; stay out of it and shut up. I don't want him to be a dick to this boy who probably wouldn't be capable of handling my brother being a dick. Steve should save it for someone else.

"What are you-" he asks as I usher him into my room and close the door behind me. Of course, my room wasn't as tidy as it usually is. I rush to throw the blanket back on the bed and to push the magazines under the bed. Yeah, it doesn't make it looking nicer. With an apologetic look on my face, I look up on the floor, only to find him not paying attention to me at all; his eyes were on the walls of my room as he walked closer to them, staring at the posters.

New Order, Eurythmics, Talking Heads, The Police, Bowie, Joy Division, The Clash, Fleetwood Mac, Pink Floyd, Blondie, Pat Benatar, Blue Oyster Cult and a few more. There might be one square foot of wall that isn't covered in posters. I have never really bothered to check.

"You…" he starts but apparently, he can't seem to find the right words to describe me; I know what that feels like. Even I can't get myself sometimes. "You really are all over the place."

"Do you mean my music taste?" I ask in confusion, watching as he nods, before looking back at the posters again. "Is it so difficult to imagine that a girl can like both… Blue Oyster Cult and Pat Benatar?"

"It kind of is." he mumbles in confusion.

"Oh brother," I roll my eyes. "Have you heard the new song from Pat?" I ask but he shakes his head. "It's gonna be released in a couple of days but they've been playing it on the radio."

"I've been listening to my own mix tapes mostly."

"Well, take your pick from mine," I point at the box that's right next to the stereo. "Some of them have titles, others don't. It's a lottery so who knows what you're gonna pick."

"I thought…" he starts and I wait to find out what he thought, as he's trying to find the right words again. I mean, I'm an awkward girl but he's even worse than I am. "I thought you said it's a party."

"It is," I confirm, shrugging my shoulders. "Look, if you'd rather get shitfaced with Tommy and my brother, be my guest. I'll mind my own business up here."

Damn it, it just sounds wrong. It looks as if I've invited him here just so that I can hang out with him alone. While that wouldn't seem like the end of the world, it's not what I had in mind when I blurted out an invitation to him. For all I know, he can interpret the invitation as a signal. A signal I didn't exactly want to give.

"Getting shitfaced with Tommy and Steve Harrington isn't exactly my definition of a good time."

"How do you know if you've never tried it?" I ask.

He's always so quiet and on the side. Granted, so am I, most of the time, but at least I mingle. I go to parties and I have forced conversations with people I don't particularly like. I do something! Then again, I do get invited to parties. I don't think Byers does.

"I'd rather stay here," he mumbles. "If that's okay." He adds quickly.

"I did invite you, didn't I?" I shrug as I fall down on my bed. "Don't just stand there Byers, live a little. There's beer on the table and you're the DJ. Pick something out."

* * *

Doritos plus beer plus good music plus a cigarette equals a darn good time, at least in my book.

'Beast of burden' is playing in the background. I roll around on the floor, so that I can reach the ashtray. We have been sitting on the floor and discussing music for… hours now? Time totally flew by.

"I don't know, I just think it'll be more pop than rock." Jonathan tells me.

"What's wrong with that?" I laugh. "Bowie, Jackson, Wham… this new girl… Madonna, is it? It's all good."

"I know but a harder sound can be good as well."

"Byers, I'm sure there will be plenty of good rock songs to love through the rest of our high school years," I comment and he starts laughing. "I mean, compare it to the 70s. 70s were good, better than the 60s. But we live in the 80s and they are… pretty fucking awesome, as far as music goes."

"You're probably right." he mumbles as he grabs his camera and comes closer to the ashtray. I watch, smiling, as he deems and an overflowing ashtray and a cigarette to be a good photo.

"I don't know why-" I start and I jump up when I hear a loud bang. I turn around, wide-eyed, watching as Steve bursts into my room. "Steve, what the hell?"

Steve knocks, Steve always knocks. Ever since he had made a mistake of walking in on me changing clothes when I was thirteen and just got my first bra, he has been scarred for life and he's been knocking. He hasn't marched into my room since.

Well, until now, all while trying to look completely innocent.

"Why are the two of you locked up in here?" he asks through laughter. He could fool anyone, probably even Jonathan, but not me; he's checking in on us and he's doing it in a very obvious way. "Why don't you join us by the pool? You'll miss out on all the fun."

"I think we're good up here." I mumble, staring my brother down.

"Yeah, we're… we're good." Jonathan agrees, completely oblivious to what my brother is doing.

"Well, whatever floats your boat," Steve lets out a forced laughter. "Tina, could you come down to the kitchen for a sec? I need your help with something."

I don't want to go but I know my brother well; he'll find a reason to get me alone. With a sigh, I get up from the floor and I follow him out, leaving Jonathan with the perfect opportunity to rummage through my things; I doubt he'll find anything remotely interesting.

"Steve, what the hell do you want now?" I ask as I follow him into the kitchen.

"You shouldn't be hiding away upstairs with him," he tells me. At least he isn't shouting, but I wouldn't put anything past him. "It's just… weird."

"Why, it's weird that I'd rather talk to one person alone than to listen to the stupid jokes of your stupid friends?" I ask.

"They're your friends too."

"No, they're not," I shake my head. "They're your friends who tolerate me because I'm your sister and more often than not, we're a packaged deal. I don't like them, nor do they like me. I'd rather be upstairs and talk to Byers. He has good music taste." I shrug.

"Okay, when are you going to stop judging people by their music taste?" Steve sighs.

"Never," I dead pan. "That kind of judgment never failed me."

"Okay, so he has better music taste than my friends do," Steve rolls his eyes at me. "Doesn't change the fact that he's a proper freak who never talks, never hangs out with anyone."

"He's talking to me and he was hanging out with me until you dragged me out of the room with your lame ass excuses." I reply. Anyone with a functioning brain would have realized it was an attempt from Steve to talk to me in private; I'm sure Jonathan is getting a proper laugh at it now.

"Do you really want to be seen with someone like that?"

"Seen? With someone like that?" I ask in disbelief. "Jeez Steve, are you even hearing yourself?"

"Look, I don't like you being alone in your bedroom with him, alright?"

Ah, so that's the real issue. Of course, he must be worried about my reputation too; god forbid that the baby sister of Steve Harrington is seen with Jonathan Byers, of all people! With his friends around, I'm sure someone will let it slip and the whole school will talk about how I spent hours in my room with him. That's something that Steve worries about, not me. If I wanted to protect my "reputation" I would have done anything to harm it in the first place. Aside from that, I can see the 'big brother' act Steve is trying to play; his baby sister, alone in a room with a guy, who knows what could happen?

"Steve, I'm not a little girl." I laugh.

"I know you're not, alright? But you don't know him. You don't know what he could do."

"Steve, the guy doesn't say much but he's not a freaking maniac!" I snap at him, losing the little patience I had left in me. "What do you think he's gonna do, violate me? Jeez Steve, this is too much, even from you. You're downstairs! Don't you think I would yell and scream if he was to do something I do not feel comfortable with him doing?"

"Something you don't…" he starts, looking at me in shock. "Tina, are you fooling around with him?"

"Steve, stop it!" I snap at him again. "This is not a conversation I want to have, not now, not ever. I am not fooling around with him, or with anyone else," I add, knowing that he needs some form of reassurance. And I don't want him barging into my room again. "But even if I was, that would be none of your business. Live and let me live. We're not joined by the hip. I understand your worry but you can drop that act now. I'm fine and if I'm no longer fine, you'll be the first one to know."

I don't give him time to respond to that; if I did, he would probably come up with a comment that would piss me off even more. He's already had a bad start today, with the hairspray and this stupid party. As my brother, he should finally learn when to leave me alone.

I find Jonathan in the exact same position he was when I followed Steve out of the room.

"Is everything okay?" he asks, a worried expression on his face. I guess I wasn't successful in hiding how pissed off I actually am.

"Yeah, my brother's just… being a jackass." I mumble as I sit down on the floor, grabbing a half empty can of bear. "Cheers to him being a jackass." I ironically mumble as I lift the can up for a toast.

"He's just worried about you," he smiles at me. "It's what big brothers do. I'm one, I should know."

So it really was completely obvious, Steve's little performance. Well, at least he doesn't have to worry about Jonathan taking advantage of me as they get hammered in our backyard.

"There's a difference between being worried and being a jackass," I correct him. Steve… Steve's walking somewhere along the line, leaning more towards one side at the moment. "It doesn't matter. He'll chill out, he always does. So, Depeche Mode; yes or no?" I change the topic to one of the things we have in common; love for music. I'm not going to let Steve burst my bubble, not when I was actually having fun.

"Not sure," Jonathan shrugs. "They're good but there's better."

"There's always better," I laugh. For a moment, I am blinded and it takes me a moment to realize that he just snapped his Pentax in my face. I blink a few times, trying to regain my eyesight back from the flash. "Don't do that again, you nearly blinded me."

"It's going to be a good shot." He shrugs.

"I feel more comfortable with being the one taking the photos, not in them."

"Well, if you're not comfortable, it just makes the photo realistic," he shrugs again. Okay, he's talking back. That's progress, compared to the stuttering he did earlier, in the dark room back at school. "A spontaneous photo is the best, isn't it?" he asks, using the same words I have used earlier.

"Don't do that again," I warn him once again. "Besides, why do you want to make me feel uncomfortable? You think that's funny? How about I make you feel uncomfortable?" I challenge him.

"Go ahead."

I wasn't expecting him to meet my challenge head on. Damn it.

"Alright then," I try to buy myself some time as I take a good chug of beer. That's not gonna help my brain work faster and I'm already running out of time. "Why don't you ever talk to anyone? I've known you since we were in the first grade and today was the first time you talked to me."

"We've talked before." He corrects me.

"Asking me if I have a spare pen doesn't count."

"Okay but… we've… we must have talked."

"Nope," I laugh, shaking my head. "You're always quiet and on your own. I mean, I can't blame you. Not a lot of them are interesting, not at school at least. I don't mean to sound too arrogant but… I'm cool," I shrug, ignoring his laughter. "I listen to good music, I can hold my drink. I'm probably smarter than that bunch downstairs combined. So why stand on the side when you can have a friend?"

"Well, first of all, I don't feel uncomfortable, so you've failed," I roll my eyes at his comment; that is so not the point. "And… I didn't know you were cool. That's why."

"If you had bothered to talk, you would have known."

"Yeah, let's fix that!" he beams at me. "Do you have a time machine in the closet? I could totally use it and go back in time; we could be the best of friends from grade one." he jokes.

"Ha-ha," I roll my eyes. "I hate to break it to you, but it's broken."

"Damn it!" he fakes disappointment. Wow, he actually is funny. I wasn't expecting that.

Today is just full of surprises related to Jonathan Byers. He's into photography, has a wickedly good music taste and despite being a quiet guy, he's actually pretty funny. And kind of cute. Kind of.

This time around, I'm the one who blinds him with a camera; I move as fast as I can and I think I've managed to catch him while he was still laughing.

"Now you know how that feels," I grin proudly; I got him. "Well, since my time machine is broken, at least we can hang out now."

"Why would you want to do that?" he laughs.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Tina Harrington, hanging out with Jonathan Byers?" he scoffs. "Don't do that to yourself, Tina." He mumbles. Another surprise about Jonathan; apparently, he doesn't think to highly of himself. At least not when it comes to high school credit.

"How about this?" I sigh, leaning over to grab my pack and get another cigarette out. I light it, watching as he waits for my response. "Tina Harrington, finally having someone interesting to talk to? I don't know, that sounds a lot better to me." I announce theatrically.

"Social suicide, Tina."

"Do I look like I give a shit?"

For a moment, we stare at each other in silence. Then, we both burst out laughing.

"Chill, Byers," I chuckle as I lie back down on the floor. "There are worse things that could happen. Sure, you're weird as hell but you're also kind of cool. So, let's just hang out more."

Once again, he and his damned camera. I rub my eyes, blinded.

"On second thought, I'm taking that one back."

"What, are you gonna dance with yourself?" he asks. I can't hold back an eye roll. It would be a lame joke even if we weren't listening to Billy Idol singing about dancing with himself. I have to admit, it's a little funny, the timing. I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing; I don't want to give him the pleasure.

"Better than social suicide, right?"

"If you say so." He snaps the camera again.

Is this what friendship is? One person annoying the hell out of the other? If it is… I kind of like it.


	3. I Want You To Want Me

**Wow guys, I am super happy! I'm feeling the love for this story and it just keeps me writing more! I just can't stop! So… thank you!**

 **I'm thinking about making a tiny playlist for each chapter, seeing as I do mention a lot of musicians/songs. I'll think about it, because I'm listening to these songs while I'm writing, so it would not trouble me at all :) Let me know if you're interested! :)**

 **And please, let me know what you think. About Tina and her relationships with the characters, about what could happen, about a favorite part or about something you hated. I'm open to criticism, as I want to make this good. I'll start writing the next chapter as soon as I post this one so…**

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* * *

One month later

"Shit!" I hear a yell and I come running to the living room.

"Is everything okay?" I ask.

"I'm running late," Joyce sighs as she tries to stir the food and get her jacket on at the same time. "I'm running late for work and I haven't finish dinner and Jonathan isn't a good cook and I've promised the moms that the boys will have enough to eat and…"

"Joyce, deep breaths," I tell her as I walk towards go. "Go. Don't be late for work. Jonathan and I can manage on our own. I'll do the cooking; the boys won't go home hungry." I reassure her.

"Oh Tina, I can't ask that of you." she shakes her head, but she just looks… desperate. She needs saving.

"You're not asking, I'm offering," I correct her, giving her a small smile. "It's okay, really. I'm here anyways. Go to work and kill it. When you come back, both of them will be sound asleep."

"Oh Tina, you're such an angel," she laughs as she pulls me in for a hug. "A true life savior."

"It's a good title," I shrug, making Joyce laugh. I take the wooden spoon from her hand and I watch as she runs around the place as she gets ready; I occasionally stir the food. Sloppy Joes, I can pull that off. "Try the dirty jeans, Joyce!" I yell when I hear her mumbling that she's looking for her car keys.

When I first met her, she was Mrs. Byers and I was all nice and polite, like a proper little girl. By the end of the day, she was Joyce and I was myself. She was fairly young when she had Jonathan, meaning she's not one of those ancient parents. She's a cool woman, who works hard and sometimes really struggles to provide for her kids. Being from a well standing family, this wasn't something that I was used to, but seeing her determination and strength, it only made me want to help. If that means I have to cook dinner for a bunch of kids, it's not going to be a problem.

"Found them!" Joyce yells and I smile as I stir the food again, careful not to burn it; I lower the heat a bit. I'm hardly a chef, but if there's one thing I have learned from mom, it's that it's better to cook it on a low heat for a longer period of time then to try to make it super-fast with the heat cranked to the top. "You know, when Jonathan brought a girl home, I wasn't expecting her to save my life every other day." Joyce comments as she walks back in the kitchen.

"Well, to be fair, he didn't exactly bring me home," I point out. "I just… followed him inside. And seeing as I'm around here every other day, why wouldn't I help? It's kind of fun."

"A life saver," she mumbles again as she rushes over to me to give me a quick kiss on the cheek; the woman loves me. "The boys should head home by eight. Where the hell is Jonathan?"

"In the shower," I tell her. "They'll be home, don't worry. And go, you're going to be late!" I urge her. Finally, she listens to me. I check the clock as I hear her start the car; I think she might make it on time.

It's a bit weird, I'll admit to that. When I found a friend, I didn't expect him to come in a package that included his mom and his little brother, even his brother's friends, occasionally. But Joyce seems to like me and so does Will; I haven't had much of a chance to talk to his friends, but they are often here when I am. And I have been hanging out at the Byers's place quite a bit lately.

Here, Steve can't bug me. Sure, he'll bug me when I get home, asking me where I've been and all of that, but at least I can hang out with Jonathan in peace. I can deflect my brother's questions but I'm afraid it's a matter of time before he starts asking them in front of our parents. I can deflect their questions as well, if they decide to ask them but as a girl, a younger child at that, I have less freedom than Steve ever did. I am the one that should be safely hidden away from all the wrongs of the world. And I don't want to. Especially when all the wrongs are my friend, his mom and a bunch of kids.

"What are you doing?"

I turn around to see a confused Jonathan running a towel through his damp hair; he looks at me, full of doubt. I guess he doesn't think I know my way around the stove. Seeing as their house is largely wooden, we would be in trouble, but luckily for them, I'm a pretty capable girl.

"Joyce was running late and she told the moms that she'll serve dinner to the boys," I explain, returning my attention to the food I was making. "She can't be late for work."

"Yeah, but you're not our maid, Tina," Jonathan sighs. "You don't have to do this."

"Jonathan, shut the hell up," I laugh at him. "I'm helping because I want to. End of story. Go check on the kids and tell them that dinner will be done soon."

Jesus, I sound like a housewife, a proper housewife with four children.

At least Jonathan fits the role of the husband perfectly, as he listens to me.

I find a clean spoon, grab a bit of food and blow on it before I taste it; yup, it's cooked. I take it off the stove and I find the burger buns on the counter. I am still cutting them when Jonathan comes back into the house and starts getting the plates ready.

"Here, let me help," he takes the knife from my hand and I move on to making the sandwiches with the buns I've already cut in half. "Do you want me to drop you off later?" he asks.

"Nah," I shake my head. "Joyce is working and I don't want you to leave Will alone."

"It's 20 minutes max, he'd be fine," Jonathan shakes his head. "He can ride with us if he doesn't want to stay alone for a little while. I don't want you walking back home in the dark."

"It's Hawkins, Jonathan," I laugh. "What kind of bad thing could ever happen here?"

"I don't know and I'd rather not test it," he persists. "You don't live close and I'm not letting you walk back home."

"Let's talk about it after we eat, alright?" I mumble, knowing I will have my way. I'm not letting him leave his brother alone just because he thinks I need a chaperone on my way back home. I've walked back home from her a few times already, I'll live. If all else fails, I'll call and have Steve pick me up, even if that's the last thing I'd want to do.

"Should I play some music?" he asks me, smiling down; damn him and his height, I always feel like a kid when I stand next to him; he's at least a foot taller than me.

"Give me something good," I nod, filling up sandwiches as I speak. He disappears and it doesn't take him long to pick a song and I start laughing at his choice. "I said something good, Byers!" I laugh.

"What's wrong with 'Cheap Trick'?" he asks; I jump up in surprise. With the music blasting through the house, I didn't hear him walking over to me. "Sorry."

"You need to stop scaring me like that," I laugh. "Go get the boys, dinner is ready." I tell him.

"Yes ma'am!" he salutes me, and I punch him in the shoulder, which makes him laugh; he always laughs at me whenever I do something like that.

"I want you to want me, I need you to need me," I sing along to the song, under my breath. I turn around moments later, to find Jonathan, Will and all of Will's friends sitting down at the table. I smile as I start serving the food. "Bon appetite boys; be good and eat your veggies."

"Aren't you going to eat with us?" Will asks me.

"Nah, I had a late lunch."

"Are you trying to fit into your school dance dress?" one of Will's friends asks me. Of course, Jonathan laughs; I am taken aback by the balls this kid has to just say something like this.

"Kid, are you implying that I need to lose weight?" I laugh.

"No!" he defends himself at once. "No! You're… good. It's just… my sister always does that when there's a school dance coming up and she doesn't need to lose weight either." He mumbles.

"Ah, you're Nancy's brother, aren't you?" I remember Jonathan telling me that one of the kids is the younger brother of Nancy from our class. He nods his head. "You're right, kid, Nancy doesn't need to lose any weight, ball dress or not. But neither do I; you don't need a dress if you're not going to the dance." I shrug as I lean on the counter, lighting a cigarette.

"Aren't you going with Jonathan?" another boy asks; I think his name is Dustin, if I remember correctly. I burst out laughing when Jonathan nearly chokes on his sandwich.

"Easy with the questions, you nearly killed him there." I laugh.

"Well, why aren't you going together?" Dustin asks. "I thought the two of you are making out every now and then." He blurts out. This time, I actually have to hit Jonathan on the back to stop him from choking; he's nearly dying but I'm laughing.

"No, we're not making out," I chuckle. "We're just friends, we're not dating."

"Why not?" Will asks; I can tell by the look on Jonathan's face, he wasn't expecting his baby brother to be the one to sabotage him. "I mean, you're cool. You hang around together all the time."

"I am cool," I confirm, making all of them laugh. "You hang around with… Mike?" I check, causing Nancy's brother to nod and confirm that's his name. "You hang with Mike, Dustin and… Lucas?" I check again and the third boy nods. "Are you dating them?" I ask, earning a chorus of "ews". "See?"

"Okay, I get it," Will laughs. "But still, why not? I mean, you're pretty."

"Aw, thank you Will," I chuckle as I muss his hair. "See, calling a girl pretty? That's good thinking. You'll know your way around girls in no time; they'll all be running after you. Hell, you're 12 and you're better at talking to girls than your brother is."

"Burn!" Lucas yells, laughing along with the other boys.

"Ha-ha," Jonathan rolls his eyes, although I can see that he's a bit red in the face. "Just because I don't have a girlfriend doesn't mean I don't know how to talk to girls."

"Yeah, you keep telling that to yourself, bud," I tap him on the shoulder, making the boys laugh again. "But back to the subject; school dances aren't much fun, guys. They could be if you have a date, but if you don't… well, they're a piece of shit."

"I like her." Mike gives Will a nod of approval. I exchange looks with Jonathan, both of us laughing.

"You got our stamp of approval," Lucas tells me, with Dustin eagerly nodding his head. "Jonathan, you can take it from here."

"I love you guys!" I laugh, watching as Jonathan goes all read in the face and just shakes his head.

It's just… it's not like that. We just get along well, that's all. I mean, yeah, getting along well is the most important part of every single relationship but things aren't like that with Jonathan and me. He's my friend. Best friend, actually. Well, only friend, if I'm being super specific. You don't ruin friendships like these with dating or something stupid like that. In just a space of a few weeks, he went from a stranger to someone I genuinely enjoy spending time with.

It's crazy, but we've become inseparable. It goes from taking photos together, sharing notes and him listening to me trash talking Steve. And yes, I cook dinner for his brother and his friends.

You don't ruin friendships just to make out in the backseat a few times.

"How about you guys finish eating and go back to your game, huh?" Jonathan suggests in annoyance.

"So that you and Tina can make out in peace?" Lucas asks, while Dustin and Mike start making kissing noises. Will, bless him, just laughs at his friends and doesn't make the situation worse.

"Dude, just ignore them." I laugh at Jonathan; if he gets all rustled, they'll keep it up. Kids are… kind of like dogs. If they see fear, they will attack. He just shouldn't show fear, even if fear is blushing at their comments about us making out. I'm keeping my cool, wearing my poker face and they aren't teasing me; at least not as directly as they are teasing him. Really, Jonathan should learn a thing or two from me; maybe the time has come for me to give him some advice about girls. Then again, it would be a bit difficult to make that kind of knowledge practical, seeing as I'm literally the only girl he talks to.

He's hopeless, but I wouldn't change about him.

* * *

"I don't know," I shake my head. "I don't like the idea of leaving you alone, Will," I tell the boy, completely ignoring his big brother that was leaned on the door, a few feet away from us. "I've walked home before, I'm not afraid of the dark."

"You don't have to be afraid," Will tells me with a small smile. "And you've never walked home when it was this late. Go, I will be fine. Jonathan can lock the doors. Besides, he knows mom would kill him if he doesn't drop you off." He gives his brother a pointed look. I can totally see that happening, though. Joyce is protective by nature and it wouldn't come as a surprise if she had transferred that protectiveness on me as well. Ugh, I don't want Jonathan to leave Will but I don't want to get him in trouble. Even if I don't really feel like walking all the way home.

"Fine," I reluctantly agree. "I'll see you late this week, okay?" I ask the boy who was already covered with his blankets and making himself cozy.

"Yeah," he beams up at me. "I want you to check out my artwork for Mr. Clarkson, yeah?"

"Of course," I smile up, knowing how much time he had the last time I had helped him with his school assignment; we only need to pray that Mr. Clarkson doesn't remember my drawing style. Although, I'm not actually doing the work for him, I'm just helping him with it, seeing as Jonathan can't draw for the life of him. All of the talent that he has went right into photography. "Good night, kiddo. Don't let the bed bugs bite." I joke, giving him a high five before I follow Jonathan out of his brother's room, leaving the light on. "Let's go, I don't want you to leave him alone for too long."

"He has been alone before, you know that, right?" he asks as I run around the living room, grabbing my things; jacket, backpack, cigarettes. Yup, that would be it.

"Yeah, but never because of me," I point out. "Come on Jonathan!" I urge him as I rush onto the porch; he follows me, laughing at me.

I finally relax as we drive away from his house; he'll be back with Will in 20 minutes, tops. Although, my leg is still jumping up and down as I zone out and listen to the Talking Heads.

"You do know that you don't have to do any of this?" Jonathan suddenly speaks up, breaking the comfortable silence.

"Any of what?" I ask in confusion.

"All of this," he shrugs; he keeps his eyes on the road but I can read his facial expression, despite having nothing more than streetlights to help me; something's troubling him. "Helping us, cooking dinner because my mom had to go to work, helping Will with his homework… you don't have to do it."

"You do realize that no one is forcing me into it, right?" I ask. His words make it sound as if someone is making me do all these things, which is far from the truth. "I'm having fun, Jonathan. Your brother is a great kid and your mom is fun and kind. Not only do I not have a problem with doing any of the things you've mentioned, but I actually enjoy doing them. Chill Byers, okay?" I laugh, hoping that might laughter might chase his worry away; it seems to work, because he finally cracks a smile.

"I'm chill," he laughs. "I just don't know how to… repay you for that, that's all."

"We're friends," I roll my eyes. "Friends don't have to repay for anything. Friends do shit like that, no questions asked. Friends don't apologize for stupid things like you've tried to do, just now."

"Friends shut up if you want to listen to music in peace?"

"Exactly."

He knows me well. He knows I wanted to zone out and just enjoy the cold air that's slapping my face through the cracked window. It's getting colder; we'll be in Halloween season in no time.

Crap, I haven't even thought about a costume.

Okay, can my brain even stick to a single topic for longer than 15 seconds?

"Here we go," Jonathan's voice snaps me out of my imagination; I haven't even realized that we've gotten to my street. Parked at the very end of it, like always. There's no need for my parents to see me being dropped off by him at this hour. "See you at school tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure," I nod. "Thanks for the lift. Don't keep Will waiting." I say as I lean over to grab my backpack from the back seat; I nearly fall over but I manage to stay in place. "See ya, Byers."

"Hey, Tina," he speaks up. I wait for the follow-up, with my hand on the door handle. "I think that… I don't know, I, I think that maybe we should go to the dance after all." he mumbles. I wait for laughter to signalize that it's a joke but I don't hear it. He's serious. And I burst out laughing.

"Jonathan Byers," I barely manage to form words because I'm laughing so hard. And Jonathan looks surprisingly uncomfortable. "Please tell me those kids teasing you hasn't made you grow a pair."

"What? No!" he snaps. "No, no! It's not that. I just… we're young only once, right? School dances suck but we won't have them when high school is over. It would be a shame to sit home alone, right?"

"Oh, so you're asking me out of pity? Is that what it is?"

I can't believe him. Did I leave an impression of a girl that is desperate about going to the dance with someone, anyone, anyone at all? Is that what he thinks of me? And if that's what he really thinks, does he think he's some sort of… knight in shining armor that can just waltz in and be my hero?

"No! No, Tina, no!" he all but yells. "That's not what I meant, not at all. I just… why not go and have fun? If I'm going to go to the dance with anyone, I'd like to go with my friend and… make fun of the music they play and just have fun."

"Byers, if that's what you wanted, then you really picked out a wrong way to ask because I literally thought of everything else before I realized what you were asking. What happened to "Do you wanna go to the dance and laugh at how lame it is?" I laugh, feeling relieved. He laughs too and just shrugs; he can say whatever he wants; he can't talk to girls. Not even girls that are his friends. "Yeah, sure, I'll go with you. Maybe we can sneak in a couple of beers and laugh as they slow dance to… I don't know, Spandau Ballet or something." We laugh at my comment.

"That actually sounds pretty good."

"I know, right?" I laugh. That's like the definition of a good time. I'd much rather exchange sarcastic comments than slow dance to some cheesy song. "Do you know what we should do? We should… Jesus Christ!" I yell when I hear a loud bang right next to my head. My heart is still racing, even when I see that it's my brother and not some sort of maniac. "Steve, are you absolutely insane?! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" I snap at him, knowing he could hear me well enough.

"Was I interrupting something?" he asks, leaning on the glass of the cracked window, making it slide down under his weight; jackass, he can break the freaking window!

"No." Jonathan shakes his head.

"Yes!" I snap.

"Wow," Steve laughs at us. "You two really need to agree on some things."

"Steve, can you go and be a jackass elsewhere?" I grow at him; not only did he scare the shit out of me, but he's just being mean, for no good reason. "Actually now, I'm not gonna give you the space to be a jackass at all. I'll see you tomorrow, Jonathan." I mumble, not even looking at him, as I open the door, hitting Steve on the legs in the process.

I start matching down the street and towards the house, with my brother following me; I don't hear Jonathan driving away and I turn around, just in case. He gives me a questioning look and I just nod my head; Steve can be a jackass but he's also my brother. If I'm safe with anyone, I'm safe with him.

I wait for Jonathan to drive away before I stop in my tracks and finally face my brother.

"You know, you should really learn to keep your mouth shut sometimes."

"What the hell did I say?" he yells.

"Oh, you know exactly what you said and you know why you said it too!"

"It's not my fault you two aren't putting a label on it," he raises his hands as if he's surrendering. "I told you, he's a freak. Any normal guy would have already asked you out, instead of just hanging out, for no reason at all."

"First of all, he is not a freak and stop calling him that. Second of all, there is a reason, Steve," I snap; I can't even follow him anymore, I have no idea what he's saying. He makes it sound as if two people of the opposite sex can't simply spend time together without making out or having sex. "We hang out because we're friends. We're not dating, nor will we. Jesus, you make it sound as if you want him to ask me out! You'd throw a tantrum and you know it."

"I wouldn't throw a tantrum," he denies it and I just roll my eyes. He would. He can say whatever the hell he wants to say, I know he'd throw a tantrum. "Look, I'm just looking out for you. You hang around his place all the time. Who knows what… I mean, I'm just worried."

"And thank you for being worried," I mumble, reminding myself that he's acting like this for my best interest. If I was the big brother out of the two of us, I'd be the same. Maybe a bit nicer, but just as protective as he is. "But you truly have no reason to be worried at all. Yeah, we hang out at his place a lot. Most of the time, we're joined by his mom and four 12-year-olds. So really, Steve, you can drop it. We're just friends. Him taking me to the dance won't change anything."

"Wait, he's taking you to the dance?" Steve asks in disbelief.

I should have just stopped talking. I need to learn when to keep my mouth shut.

"Yeah, we're going as friends."

"As friends?" he laughs.

"Yes!" I yell. God, if we keep it up with this screaming match, we will wake mom and dad! "Steve, find something else to be stressed about. This is getting very annoying." I march on, completely ignoring his complaints as he walks behind me. He doesn't stop talking, not even when we get into the house.

"Whoa, where were the two of you?"

Shit. I was pretty sure mom and dad would be asleep.

"Out." Steve and I both respond at the very same time.

"We realize that much," Mom laughs as she walks into the hallway. "Where?"

"I was at the movies and Tina was with her boyfriend."

"Jesus Christ Steve, he's not my boyfriend!" I yell. He just threw me under the bus. Just like that, he threw me under the bus, not even thinking about how that could end up for me.

"Isn't he taking you to the dance?"

He threw me under the bus the second time. I'll kill him. I'll fucking kill him.

"Wait, who is this boy?" mom asks, shifting her look from Steve to me. "And why don't we know anything about this? Tina?" she gives me a pointed look. Steve is so dead. He is beyond dead.

"Mom, he's not my boyfriend," I do my best to look calm, knowing she could probably smell my irritation; I will not let Steve win this battle. "He's a friend. A good friend. If I ever have a boyfriend, you'll be the first one to know," I lie, knowing I would never tell her; if she finds out, it's because she did her own digging. "If I were you, I would worry more about Steve impregnating one of his monthly sluts."

"Tina! Language!" she snaps. It is absolutely worth it. The look on Steve's face makes it worth it.

"I'm just saying, I remember the birds and the bees but I'm not sure Steve does."

Steve is still cursing me as I run up the stairs.

No, he did not win this war, but he brought attention to me. Attention I didn't want or need. It won't be long before mom starts being nosey and asking questions I don't feel comfortable with answering. I'm sure the dance will bring them my way, but as long as there's nothing to actually say, I'll be good.

It's not like I'm lying. It's just Steve's denial; he doesn't want to accept that I'm saying the truth. Oh well, if he is going to throw me under the bus, the least I can do is to grab him by the neck and bring him down with me.


	4. Blue Monday

**I can't even begin to tell you how much fun I'm having writing this.**

 **I never knew how… stronger the second part of the 80s was, when it comes to music. Every time I find a perfect song, I check the year… yup, after 1983. Sigh. I did find a lot of good stuff so here's how we're gonna do it: I'll put the playlist here, in the order that it goes. Then, at the end of the chapter, I'll add it again and mention the specific scene, because I can't spoil it here, can I? :D**

 **We'll see how it works, I hope you like this little idea! :)**

 **1)Donna Summer – She works hard for the money**

 **2)New Order – Blue Monday**

 **3)Duran Duran – Rio**

 **That's it for this chapter, but there will be more in the next one! :)**

 **Okay, so back to the regularly scheduled AN. THANK YOU! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I'm so happy with your responses, I'm glad you're liking the story and I hope to do my best with it! :)**

 **Thank you for the reviews, really. Don't stop! But thank you! :D**

 **Follow, favorite and tell me what you think! I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)**

* * *

More than 20 rolls of duct tape are dropped on the counter before me. Normally, I wouldn't say a thing, but Will, Mike, Dustin and Lucas all have incredibly guilty looks on their faces. I pop my bubblegum bubble, raising my eyebrows at the four of them.

"Do you care to explain what the hell you're planning to do with this amount of duct tape?"

"Not really, no." Dustin responds in a heartbeat.

"Dustin," I warn the boy. "What the hell are you doing with this?"

"Uh, it's for a school project." Lucas jumps in, while Mike, Will and Dustin all nod their heads.

"See, a few years back I went to the same school you're going to and we never needed so much duct tape for a project." I point out.

"Well duh, school programs change!" Mike rolls his eyes at me.

"Sure they do," I nod my head. "And Will's mom has an employee's discount over at Melvald's. You could get all of this there for like… half the price. But you're here," I say, feeling a bit too proud when all three of them look down. "Spill the beans guys."

"You were supposed to be cool!" Lucas whines, actually slamming his foot in anger.

"Oh, I'm still cool," I reassure him at once. "I just want to know what's so super-secret that Will's mom can't know about it," I tell them and I wait, but none of them speak up. They have more resolve than I thought, more than your average 12-year-olds. "I'll give you _my_ employee discount if you tell me."

"We need it for a Halloween costume." Dustin spills the beans.

"What, is one of you going as… I don't know, the Duct Tape Man?" I roll my eyes. "There's more than a month to go before Halloween, guys."

"We need to be thorough in our preparations," Mike sighs in annoyance. "And no, no one is going as a Duct Tape Man. Dustin's going as Chewbacca."

"Okay, where the hell does duct tape go on Chewbacca?"

"It doesn't," Will laughs. "We're just going to cut up some old, fuzzy blankets and tape them to Dustin."

I honestly don't know where to start with these guys. I need to remind myself that they are just kids and that I wasn't any better when I was their age. After all, I was their age just four years ago. Man, time flies! I'm already old and this might just be their last Halloween as proper, innocent kids. Maybe one year more, if they're lucky. Soon enough, puberty will get under their skin and… I can't have the most adorable kids on the planet go around in shitty costumes.

"Alright, I can't let you walk around like that," I sigh, already knowing that I'll end up regretting it. "Get those tapes back in their place and bring me those cut up blankets. I'll try to sew something out of it."

"Really?" Dustin asks in awe and I nod my head. "Why?"

"I have no fucking clue, kid," I admit with a sigh. "Go and get those things for me. My brother will be picking me up in… 15. I need it before I go." I order them and watch as they split up; Lucas and Will stay behind and the store, returning the duct tapes in their spot, while Mike and Dusting run out. I flinch when I see them hopping on their bicycles and driving right on the road. I might just be four years older than them but I know I have _never_ driven my bicycle like that.

"Tina, what will you go as for Halloween?" Will asks as he and Lucas walk over to the counter.

"I have no idea," I admit. "I don't know, I'll probably go as… Alex from 'Flashdance' or Princess Leia or something like that. I haven't even had time to think about it, since I have a dance to prepare for."

"I thought you said you aren't going to the dance?" Lucas laughs.

"Jonathan's taking her." Will informs his friend. I actually laugh when I see Lucas bowing and pretending to be humbled by the imaginary claps.

"Thank you, thank you, ladies and gentlemen!" Lucas bows again. "The award for the matchmaker of the year goes to Lucas Sinclair, who got Jonathan Byers and Tina Harrington to hook up!"

"Jesus Christ, we're not hooking up!" I snap, although I can't stop laughing at his theatricality. "You know, I really wish that everyone would stop acting as if whether or not Jonathan and I are together is of great importance. Because we're not!" I point out, just in case either one of them had missed the point.

"I know," Will smiles at me. Ugh, I can't even be angry at them, when all four of them are cute as heck, especially Will. He just has… the look of the kid that could never do you wrong. His brother doesn't, on the other hand. Jonathan has the quiet bad boy look about him, even if he's as innocent as they get. "It's just, Jonathan has never had a girlfriend. You're the first girl he ever brought home."

"To keep him company while he babysits you and your merry group of friends," I remind him. "Seriously guys, it's getting a bit annoying. And it bothers Jonathan even more than it bothers me."

Jonathan is… shy. He's a shy guy. Once you break the shell, he's as interesting as a sixteen year old can be to another sixteen year old. He doesn't say much, not unless he's ridiculously comfortable in someone's company. It took me a couple of days to finally get coax him out his shell and make him relax enough to say things he really means, without choosing words carefully, three times over. It was clear as day that he had felt super uncomfortable when the kids where having their go at it; I was the one who was laughing it off, he was all red in the face. I don't want four kids to push him back into the shell, not when it took me quite a bit of effort to get him out of it.

And that's only when I'm around. Social situations are a whole different story.

"Fine, we'll stop it," Will promises me. "Come on Lucas, we can wait for them outside; Tina might get in trouble if we hang around for too long."

Will is right; Tina will get in trouble because Tina needs to clean up aisle four and check the expiration date on the 'Reese's pieces'; with Halloween around the corner, we need to be careful.

I hate this job with a passion. Screw the work ethic, screw responsibility; I'm putting myself through this torture just because I need the money. If I didn't need it, I wouldn't be caught dead doing this job.

It's a myth that small town people are nice and kind; they're dicks, just as everyone else is. It doesn't matter if they went to school with my parents; if they're cranky, they'll make sure to find a way to take it out of me, whether it's because the soda isn't cold enough or because we're out of Milky Way.

The moment I get the cash I need, I'm out of here. Or that's the plan. Plans do get ruined, whether we like it or not. I doubt Joyce wanted to stay in Hawkins, trying to make ends meet as a single mom, working at a hardware store. Her dreams might have been as big as mine are.

And I'm not even sure how big my dreams are, nor what they are. I don't know what I want to do and I think that at the age of 16, I'm still allowed to have no clue. Collage or not, being a doctor, artist or a housewife, it doesn't matter because one thing's certain: I'm not staying in Hawkins. I don't care what I'll have to do or what life has in store for me, I will not be staying in Hawkins. I'm not going to become one of those suburban moms whose only hobby is her weekend book club and meddling into her kids' life, ignoring the fact that her husband is making her miserable. In other words, I will not be my mom.

If scrubbing floors and dealing with dickhead shoppers four days a week is what makes it easier for me to not become my own mother, I'm fucking doing it.

The boys are right on the clock; as soon as they bring in the bags with them, each one of them carrying one, I see Steve parking his car in front of the store.

"Dustin, I'll have it done before Halloween, I promise," I tell the boy, not even sure if that's something I can manage to pull off. "And if for some reason I fail miserably, you won't be going without a costume."

"Promise?" Dustin asks with a serious look on his face.

"Oh, I swear," I laugh. "You'll go as Chewbacca, even if I have to steal the costume from George Lucas himself," I say; it probably won't get to that but if I screw up his costume, my car money will have to go to a decent Chewbacca costume. Leave it to me, to get into trouble on my own. "Run along now, I need to get changed." I usher them out, already running to the employee's changing room. The moment the clock strikes five, I'm out of here. I don't even care if Jeremy's in time to take over.

Jeremy's on time and I would have run out of the store, had it not been for the bags in my hands. I have no idea what the hell Dustin but into them, but it weighs more like four small bodies than blankets.

"What the hell are you carrying?" Steve asks, staring through the car window.

"Help me out, will ya? Or are you just gonna enjoy the show?"

With a sigh, he gets out of the car and walks over to me, grabbing the bags with ease; at times like these, I hate being a girl. Or I hate not having Steve's upper body strength.

I don't bother thanking him as I march around the car to get into the passenger seat. Steve also doesn't bother making small talk as he starts the car; it's been quiet with us in the last couple of days.

Both of us are sulking, that's what we're doing.

We don't talk when we go to school, we don't talk during meals, we don't talk… at all, really, except an occasional comment here and there, a comment that couldn't have been avoided. It goes so far that I don't even change the music in the car, not like I used to, no matter how dull his song choices get. At least today I had no problems, since he had decided to listen to 'New Order'.

I wish I could say that he's the immature one but I know I'm on the exact same level. He threw sand in my face and instead of being an adult and walking away, I threw a whole bucket of sand over his head. We both sabotaged one another in front of our parents and it didn't do us any good. Steve had to go through another 'why is protection important' conversation and I was being interrogated whenever I leave or enter the house without my brother's company.

At least I got him good. If I'm not going to be the mature one out of the two of us, at least I can push him into the same trouble he had pushed me in.

"I just don't understand why I have to go dress shopping with you."

I wasn't expecting Steve to break the silence between us and I actually jumped up in surprise.

"Because I don't have a car," I remind him. I wish I could forget that as easily as he can, apparently. "I was more than happy to borrow the car from you for the afternoon, but you love it even more than you love your hair, so it's not like either one of us had a choice. Besides, no one's asking you to stick around and wait for me to pick it out. You can go and do your own thing and we'll meet up at the shopping mall in an hour or two."

"I have to pick out a new shirt anyways." he tells me, sounding as if he'd rather dig his own grave than to go shopping with me. I can relate to that; I'd rather dig my own grave too.

"Great, then maybe you should stop complaining?" I roll my eyes. I'm not doing myself any favors but I can't control it. I comment, despite knowing he'll probably make a mental note for every backhanded comment I offer during this "war" time.

We're more alike than I'd like to admit. Unfortunately.

* * *

I was never a tomboy but I was never a girly girl either. I have been in the middle ever since I was old enough to make my own fashion choices and not wear whatever my mom deems appropriate.

I could live in jeans and most of the time, that's what I do. I only bother with dresses in the summer and on special occasions, and unfortunately for me, this dance that I was more than ready to ignore is considered to be a special occasion.

"You look like a marshmallow."

Despite the tension between us, Steve ended up being the main judge of all the possible dresses I had to try on. Neither one of us is finding it to be particularly enjoyable but he has to wait for me and I need an opinion. Whether I like to admit it or not, Steve probably has a better fashion sense than I do.

"I know!" I whine, sounding like a bratty child. I don't even need to look at my reflection to know that this dress is not what I'm looking for. When you look average, at best, average face, average built, dull brown hair and dull brown eyes, you don't have much to work with. And a gigantic, puffy dress is going to make me look like a poufy marshmallow, like my brother pointed out.

"You need to find something that fits you better; you could roll down a hill in that one."

Now I know he's speaking for my best interest because Steve would never suggest that I should wear tighter clothes, not if he's in his right mind. It's kind of nice to see that he really just wants to see me happy with my choice, even if it's not something he'd like to see his sister in.

"Look for something then while I get out of this mess," I sigh. "Please." I add, not wanting to sound like a complete bitch. He nods and disappears amongst the racks as I bobbled my way back to the dressing room. I don't even know why I got into this atrocious thing; it was bound to be a disaster. And I would never wear it! Why did I even try to get into this damned, overly expensive cotton wool?!

With much struggle, I manage to get out of it and I try out another one of the dresses I have selected earlier; a knee length pink one. I don't think I've worn anything in the color pink since I was 10.

I look like… I don't even know what I look like. A marshmallow, but a pink marshmallow. With a growing feeling of annoyance, I make my way out of the dressing room.

"Oh no, absolutely not," Steve shakes his head even before I have a chance to open the door fully. "Tina, what the hell are you picking out?"

"I don't know, okay?" I whine; I sound like a five year old who just got told by her parents that candy is officially forbidden. "I'm not good at this crap. I live in jeans and T-shirts."

"I've noticed. Try this one," he offers me another hanger with a dark blue dress on it; I don't even look at it as I close the door of the dressing room. At this point, I might as well just trust his judgment. "Now, this is why you need to have friends, Tina. I'm not the ideal shopping buddy, you know."

"Believe me, I've picked up on that," I say as I finally escape the pink, fluffy prison of a dress. "The problem is, my friend happens to be working. And he's going with me to this shitty dance, so it would be pretty stupid to take him shopping too." I add. If I had another friend, preferably a girl, Steve would be free from this task, but it just so happens that I only have Jonathan. I would rather gauge my eye out with a fork than to go shopping with Carol, the closest thing to a female friend that I actually have.

"You really are just friends with him, aren't you?" Steve asks, his voice kind of… kinder than it was before. Well, it looks like he got the stick out of his ass, finally.

"Steve, why would I lie to you?" I ask, doing my best not to sound as if I'm picking a fight. "I might not like you all the time, but you're my brother. If I'm going to lie to someone, it's not gonna be you."

"Yeah, but you would lie about this because you know I don't like Byers."

"Yeah, I do. And I don't give a shit," I remind him. "I'm the one that's friends with him, not you, so it kind of doesn't matter how you feel about it. He's a good guy, Steve. If you'd actually bother to talk to him, instead of taking down to him, you'd see that."

"He's weird, Tina," he sighs. "Like… super weird."

"Yeah?" I ask, peaking over the door of the dressing room to look at him. "So am I."

"No, not to that extent," Steve persists and not having the energy to continue the discussion, I return to the struggle of getting into the dress he had picked out for me. "And I still think he has a thing for you."

"He doesn't." I tell him for what has to be the hundredth time.

"Yeah, he does."

"Okay, let's say that he does," I grunt as I struggle to reach the zipper. "Would that be the end of the fucking world? Someone actually liking me? Is it so difficult for you to imagine that someone, even if they are "like… super weird" as Jonathan, would actually like me?"

"Come on Tina, you know it's not like that. I just… I just think you can do better. You deserve better."

"Better than a nice guy, who has a job, is responsible and likes listening to good music? Wow."

"Oh my god, you like him, don't you?"

"Of course I like him, Steve; I'm friends with him. Carrying a friendship with someone you don't like is kind of difficult. You should know, you've stopped liking Tommy at least a year ago."

"I didn't stop liking Tommy, he's my best friend. And I meant liking him in a different way."

"Hold on, isn't that how things start?" I ask, now genuinely confused. "Think about dating. And not dating, your style, but dating, normal teenage style. You are friends with someone, you like them, you spend time with them. And then… you either stay friends or you evolve into something else. Depending whether or not there's a… spark, I guess. Call me crazy, but that's how I see relationships starting. It will either evolve or it will stay the same and be pretty awesome."

"It was never like that in my case." Steve disagrees.

"Well, you're a serial dater, I wouldn't use you as a good example," I laugh. "Dude, I mean it, it's about time for you to relax about the whole thing. I know it's heartbreaking for you to sit and watch it unfold but at one point, your baby sister has grown up," I say, purposely sounding theatrical; I can just imagine his eye rolls on the other side of the door. "And your baby sister will keep on growing up. I'm nearly an adult now, and I'll have to face all the adult shit that comes with it. I'm no longer that baby that kept hitting you on the head with a plastic hammer. Your baby sister will have a boyfriend one day. And let's face it, you probably won't like him. So… the only thing you can do is to trust my judgment. Would I pick out an idiot? Would I really Steve?"

"You might," I laugh at his comment. He is definitely starting to become overprotective; I need to stop that from evolving because I don't need a father number two. "If the situation was reversed, you'd be acting the same way and you know it. I have to look out for you Tina. It's literally the only thing I have to do in life, at least at this point. That's my role, by definition. You'd be the same."

"I know," I laugh, finally managing to zip up the dress. "That's why I'm not hitting you on the head with a plastic hammer anymore. It's one thing to be a big brother and another one to be a guard dog. I don't need a guard dog," I tell him as I walk out of the dressing room. "What's the call on this one?" I ask, twirling around with zero enthusiasm.

"Yeah, you actually look like a girl in that one," he laughs at me. "You're buying that one."

I don't know if he's saying it because I look good in it or because he wants to go home as soon as possible. I grab the tag and sigh when I see the actual price.

"I'm giving up my car money so that I can go to a dance I don't even want to go to."

"You wouldn't be going if you didn't want to go and you definitely wouldn't be paying for it if you didn't want to pay for it. You would just stop breathing if you didn't feel like breathing. No one can make you do anything, Tina."

"Fine, I'll change and we're out of here."

"Aren't you going to check in the mirror, how it fits you?" Steve laughs, probably thinking I'm stupid.

"No, I'm gonna trust the judgment of my sibling. You should try it sometimes," I hold back a smile when he starts laughing and shaking his head in annoyance. "You might grow and you know," I wave my hands about. "Develop as a brother and as a human being."

"Cut the crap and let's get out of here." He laughs.

I think we've called truce for now. _I think. For now._

* * *

Being a girl is hard. Like, really hard. You have to think of so many things you just wouldn't think of if you were a guy. Even my brother, who is worried more about his appearance than about anything else, worries less about it than an average girl.

Do the hair, do the make-up, shave, look all nice and pretty, take care of your clothes and all that shit. And shopping. Good god, shopping. How can one activity go from one end to another? It can either be super fan or the purest form of torture one could imagine. Today, it was torture. Even when Steve and I had called temporary truce, it was still torture. And I am actually, physically tired.

The little strength I had in me was gone with me jumping on the bed, picking up the phone and dialing a number. I am dead and I could fall asleep at any given moment. Not even looking at 'The Police' poster is helping me; I'm sorry, Sting. You're just not enough anymore.

"Hello, Joyce speaking."

"Hey Joyce, it's Tina."

"Oh, hi honey," I can practically imagine her smile. Seriously, what have I done to deserve to be liked by this woman? I helped out a few times, sure, but she liked me even before that. Some might say I have the ability of being well liked super-fast, but I know better than that. "How are you? Why didn't you come over today, Jonathan was done with work hours ago?"

"I had work, I had to go shopping for a stupid dress and now, I think I might be dead."

"Should I call for an ambulance?" she laughs.

"No, I'm afraid I'll live," I mumble, making her laugh again. "Can Jonathan talk?"

"Sure. Jonathan!" she yells and thank god, I had a feeling that would come and I moved the phone away from my ear just in time. "I'll see you tomorrow honey."

"Hey!" Jonathan answers the phone before I have a chance to respond to Joyce. "Did you buy it?"

"Yes," I sigh as I roll around so that I can reach my cigarette pack. "And I'm never going shopping again, ever in my life."

"And what are you planning to wear if you don't go shopping?" he laughs.

"I don't know," I shrug. "I'll pay someone to go and buy me clothes. I'll work extra or I'll… wash someone's dishes. I don't care; I just don't want to go through that ever again. I don't know what was worst, trying out truly horrible dresses or going through all of that with Steve."

"You do know you could have just… worn jeans?"

It was an option I thought off, I'll admit to that. For one, it would be far more comfortable and I would avoid the whole shopping trip. But it would just be wrong. And I don't mean it like 'I don't fit in' type of wrong but just… unfair to the whole moment. Sure, I'm going there with a friend and my sole purpose is to have a good laugh, but a dance is a dance. A dress is necessary. "Byers, I'm not even sure if they'd let me in if would wear jeans." I tell him; for all I know, I could literally be banned from entering.

"Sure they would. And if they wouldn't, we would sneak in. And if we couldn't sneak in, we would have our own little dance at the parking lot."

"Don't give me ideas, I don't want to ditch the dance when I've already bought a dress," I grunt, rolling my eyes when he starts laughing. "What's done is done; I have it, I'm wearing it."

"Do you at least like it?" he laughs.

"I mean, I guess so," I shrug, looking over at the bathroom door, which it was hanging on. Not too long, not to short, with not a lot of details; just the way I wanted it to be. It's not poufy and it's not shinny. That was good enough for me. "It's blue, so that works."

'Ah, your favorite color."

"How the hell do you know what my favorite color is?" I ask in suspicion. Is he a mind reader now?

"You asked me what was my favorite color in like… the first 10 sentences of our first proper conversation." he chuckles; ah, I remember that. We were drinking beer in my room while Steve and his posy were apparently having 'the best party EVER hell yeah!', as Tommy said himself.

"Which has absolutely nothing to do with _my_ favorite color."

"It does when you're reaction was 'Ah, my favorite color is blue too'," he mimics a bad, girly voice.

"Byers, I do not sound like that and you know it."

"Yeah, you kind of do."

"Don't be a dick, Byers." I warn him, despite laughing.

"Hey look, no one can be perfect," he laughs at me; alright, if I tease him, I can at least take the same from him. "And the biggest flaw that you have is that you can't sing for the life of you."

"Ah yes, I will never have a chance to live up to my rock star aspirations," I sigh, pretending to be saddened by it. "Thanks for reminding me about that, by the way. Just what I needed to hear today."

"Come on, you know very well that when you sing, you sound like… ten dying cats. OUCH!"

"Are you okay?" I jump up, as if I could do something to help.

"Yeah," he grunts. "Mom smacked me on the head for saying that. You know, I think she likes you more than she likes me."

"Yeah, I think I like her and Will more than I like you," I laugh. "I don't think we need you after all."

"Your words wound me." he mocks.

"Well, why don't you get those wounds sorted out, while I finally get some much needed rest, alright?"

"Dark room during lunch break?"

"You got it. Over and out. Ah hell, I've been hanging out with Will far too much." I mumble, realizing that I have just tried to end a conversation the same way he does it when he uses his walkie-talkie to talk to his friends. Over and out, it's always 'over' after every single reply and it's 'over and out' when they're ending the conversation; I have heard Mike's pissed off voice over the talkie reminding them all of that so many times, it's even carved in my brain.

"Yeah, you definitely need rest," Jonathan laughs. "Over and out."

* * *

 **1)Donna Summer – She works hard for the money (playing in the store, scene with Tina and the boys)**

 **2)New Order – Blue Monday (Steve's car)**

 **3)Duran Duran – Rio (trying out dresses)**


	5. Edge Of Seventeen

**Guys, I really can't thank you enough for your responses. Thank you, thank you, especially to those who I couldn't respond to via PM. Thank you, I mean it, I haven't had so much fun while writing something… in ages.  
I'm writing like crazy and I'm pretty sure I'll have another chapter ready for you this weekend. But for now, enjoy this one and let me know what you think, I'd like to hear from you! Thank youuu!**

 **1)Blondie – Call me  
2) The Weather Sisters – It's Raining Men  
3) Rick James – Super Freak  
4) The Human League – Don't You Want Me  
5) A Flock Of Seagulls - I Ran  
6) The Police – Every Breath You Take (heart eyes, MILEVEN! 3)  
7) Spandau Ballet – True  
8) Stevie Nicks – Edge Of Seventeen  
9) David Bowie – Heros  
10) Bootsy's Rubber Band - I'd Rather Be With You (this is an important one. Play it after the Heroes scene. Trust me, you're going to want to play it. You'll die of laughter)**

 **Here we go, enjoy and let me know what you think! :)**

…

* * *

I pulled a Madonna and I am ashamed to admit it. The video has been around for like… two, three weeks? And what do I do? I curl my hair and add a hairband, just like she wears it. I don't even know if I like her and I'm imitating her! I look like a complete idiot!

At least I didn't use a black hairband; I don't know fashion very well, but I do know that black and dark blue aren't exactly the best combination I can come up with. Nah, I'm blue tonight; dress, shoes and hairband.

I look like an idiot! Madonna looks cool, wearing the short shirts and the crazy skirts; I'm elegant and idiotic at the same time! But it's too late to go back on it now; I don't have a backup dress. Next time, for the next dance, I'll think about this crap in advance.

I add a bit of blush on my cheeks, not wanting to look like a ghost; I fix the eye shadow and I put on some lip balm; I hate lip gloss, it's so sticky! Cautious, I lift the perfume bottle I nicked from my mom; 'Opium', of course. I spray it in the air and like a complete idiot, I run through the smelly air bubble.

I start coughing my lungs out; stupid. Very stupid. I finally managed to stop coughing when I heard music coming out from Steve's room; it takes me a second to recognize what it is.

I walk to his room, open the door and I stand there and watch as he dances along to Blondie's "Call me". He looks like a complete idiot, shaking his ass to a song he doesn't even understand properly. It takes him a moment to notice me by the door and when he does, he goes red in the face immediately.

"What the hell are you doing?" I can't hold laughter in anymore.

"And what the hell are you wearing?" he points at me; at my head, to be more specific. "I mean, it's not bad, it looks good on you, but it's weird."

"You'll see in a couple of months, everyone will go crazy about it," I laugh, knowing I might actually take the credit away from Madonna, at least in my brother's eyes. I am still laughing as I watch him struggle with a comb and hairspray; _my_ hairspray. "Oh, get over here."

Steve can be smart when he needs to be; he knows very well I'm the one he turns to in case of a hair emergency and judging by what he's done so far, it is a hair emergency.

"Are mom and dad going to grill Byers when he comes to get you?" he asks, breaking the comfortable silence I was working in; I purposely make him flinch when I tug on his hair in not such a gentle way.

"Thanks to you referring to him as my boyfriend, they probably will," I sigh; I wish we could do this like we normally do it when he is supposed to pick me up. I walk a little and he waits for me down the end of the street. I wish could tonight could be like that but unfortunately, mom and dad are well aware that I am going to the dance with him and they've decided that 'the time has come to finally meet this boy'. "I hope it's not too bad, though. I told him to arrive at the last minute, so we'll make a run for it."

"I'm sorry for causing that."

Well, the world must have stopped spinning; Steve apologizing?!

"Yeah, well, that sorry isn't going to save me and Jonathan from an interrogation, so it's too little too late, jackass."

"I still don't like him." Steve tells me, as if I needed a reminded.

"And I still don't care."

I make him look decent by the time Blondie's done with singing. And I must say, I am a true pro at this.

"Are you gonna need a ride back?" he asks as he checks himself out in the mirror.

"Nah, Jonathan will give me a lift. Or I'll walk or something."

"You are not walking back home, not that late at night."

"You think they're gonna let us take over the gym until 4AM?" I laugh at him. "It won't be late, Steve. Besides, thanks to you, I might have a proper curfew."

"You won't," this time around, he laughs at me. "You know dad doesn't care."

I know he didn't say it to hurt me, I know he didn't. Those words are equally hurtful for the both of us and he… he simply stated the truth. Dad… he really doesn't care. Mom might, but that doesn't change him, or how he feels about us. So long as we're not wrecking cars and getting into fist fights, he doesn't care. Why did I even think that Jonathan and I would be faced with a police style interrogation when I know that he doesn't even give a shit?

He has no idea who we are, not me, not Steve. He doesn't even know who his children are.

"Well, he might have had a change of heart." I shrug, knowing that's not true.

"Look, enjoy it," Steve tells me and this time, he's not laughing at me; for this one, he can actually relate. "I know it sucks, but at least you'll do whatever the hell you want tonight. Let's face it, if he was a caring man, our lives would suck."

I'm not sure that one's true. But I guess freedom is an added bonus in an otherwise shitty situation.

"I know, but…" I start, only to get interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. "Shit!" I screech as I run out of Steve's room and into my own, ignoring his laughter. I was hoping to hear Jonathan's car and use it as a signal to be ready for making a swift escape. Of course, Steve just had to start it with the emotional talk and I wasn't focused and ugh! I run around the room, stuffing my purse with cigarettes, lip balm, three lighters, in case someone decides to steal them from me, house keys…

Shit, he's probably already talking to them!

I run down the stairs, strangely capable of keeping my balance, seeing as I am wearing heels; only when I leave the stairs behind me do I have the chance to look up and actually process the scene; mom, dad and Jonathan are all standing in the living room. Jonathan looks strangely confused and… out of place, I guess. He's wearing a shirt and a fancy jacket, but thank god, there's no tie. And both mom and dad are sporting forced smiles. I wouldn't consider that a bad sign, though; they use those fake smiles daily.

I think I've managed to interrupt their conversation before they've exchanged more than five sentences.

"We're running late," I rush towards Jonathan, grabbing him by the hand. "We have to go, we're running late. See you later!" I wave to my parents while pulling Jonathan away, towards the front door.

"Tina!" Mom yells after me but I'm already on the porch.

"Have a good night, Mr. and Mrs. Harrington!" Jonathan shouts; we're already half way to his car.

"Have fun!" mom yells after us; I look at her as I wait for Jonathan to finally star the car. I was sitting in the passenger seat in a matter of seconds, I was moving at the speed of light. Jonathan, unfortunately, wasn't, despite trying. He even fumbles with the keys, unable to start the car at once. I offer my mom a tight smile and a fast wave, seeing as she was still looking our way; from this position, I think she's worried and happy at the same time. And I just need to be out of here.

"Jonathan, start the goddamned car!"

"I'm trying!" he snaps back at me. I almost cry tears of joy when I hear that reassuring sound of the engine. In seconds, we're away from my driveway and my mother.

"Well, that's over," I sigh, joining in on his laughter. "Sorry I pulled you away like that but the less you talk to them, the better. Let's just say your mom is much cooler than they are."

"They were nice, don't worry about it." Jonathan reassures me, probably guessing that I was afraid they'd pull a Steve on him. Which I was, actually. Steve has the meanest insults; he'll never call you a bad name, not to your face but he will point out something and just… he learned it from someone.

"Oh, trust me, you can meet them and have a proper conversation with them on a different occasion, it's not a problem," I laugh as I try to fish out my cigarettes. "But we're not doing it while I'm wearing heels and a dress," I light a cigarette as I roll down the window on my side. I turn to Jonathan, expecting a comment or laughter or anything, but all I got is silence. He has a weird look on his face. "Do you want me to throw it away?" I wave my cigarette about.

I'm not a rude jackass, smoking in his car without asking if it's okay. He's not a smoker and I'm not a dick but he had also told me that I am allowed to smoke in here at least 100 times before.

"No, no." he shakes his head, suddenly snapping out of it.

"Dude, what is wrong?" I laugh; if he's going to space out, maybe I should be the one doing the driving.

"Yeah, you… nothing," he smiles at me. Well, at least he seems more himself now. "Do you want to play something?" he asks and I start looking for some cassettes in the glove compartment.

"Don't mind if I do."

* * *

"IT'S RAINING MEN! Hallelujah!"

I have never seen or heard so many people just shouting out lyrics; we weren't even singing along, we were just yelling and laughing.

I don't even like these people and I'm having the time of my life! You don't need to talk to anyone, you are… just dancing like a maniac, screaming the lyrics into other people's faces and no one will ever complain about it. I have never been so happy with a song that I didn't even know I like!

Ah, but something is missing. Not something as much as someone. Mid-scream, I stop and turn around, looking for Jonathan; I spot him in the same place I've left him to scream and dance along the others. He's seated alone, looking at the mess before him with an amused expression on his face. Our eyes meet as I make my way toward him and the fear he feels is absolutely obvious.

"No, Tina, no, absolutely not!"

"Tall! Blonde! Dark and lean!" I sing as I grab him by the hand.

"No, Tina!"

"You're doing this Jonathan!" I laugh as we make our way in the middle of the dance floor. "God bless Mother Nature! Why Jonathan, why?" I laugh, raising my eyebrows.

"She's a single woman too!" he sings from the top of his lungs.

I am laughing my ass of as I'm trying to make him move; it's like teaching a kid how to dance, you pull their hands, showing them how to move in the rhythm. Jonathan's no kid and he sure as hell knows how to dance but he's being sulky. Huh, I guess he is a bit like a child after all. But just like a child, he can be easily entertained. The moment I started making a fool of myself and dancing like no one is watching, which probably is the reality; he was more than happy to join in.

He just needs a little push, that's all. Just the tiniest of pushes to feel encouraged to be himself. If that's what I have to do every damned time, I'll do it, because he really is one hell of a person.

There's that magical moment when the song is over and you just… stop to take a breath, to have a break in the duration of a few seconds before another song starts and you either go through the same crap again or you sit that one out. I try to catch my breath, still laughing, holding onto Jonathan's hand.

I burst out laughing when I hear the beat; then I laugh at the look on Jonathan's face, the look of pure fear and torture. My poor, Joy Division listening boy is full on funky tonight.

"No," he shakes his head, looking directly at me. "No, Tina, not this one."

"Yes, absolutely yes!" I laugh as I start dancing to Rick James's "Super Freak". Everything is the same; we all yell, we all jump and dance and after a few pointed looks and silly moves on my part, Jonathan does decide to join in and not just stand like a scarecrow.

This wasn't a mistake after all.

* * *

I freeze just in time to avoid being hit by one boy; he is really into the "WOOOO-OOOOH" part of "Don't you want me" by 'The Human League'. I can't blame him, I would have been doing the same if my feet weren't killing me; once I avoid him, I make my way towards Jonathan, who was laughing at this little scene; I think I can officially call this night a success, seeing as he is actually bobbing his head in rhythm.

"Punch?" he offers me a plastic cup.

"Spiked?"

"Oh yeah." He reassures me, his face telling me that the punch is probably more spike than punch.

"Gimme," I laugh, taking the cup from him. Yup, I was right; very spiked indeed. If our teachers had any control of this dance at the start, they don't have it anymore. "You're actually enjoying this, aren't you?" I ask, watching him as he actually dances in place; it's a miracle.

"It's not that bad," he laughs. "This song is like… a guilty pleasure."

"Oh, there's nothing guilty about it, I love this shit."

"I know," he laughs. "I've seen this on one of your mix… Is that your brother?" he asks.

Now, there are a few sentences that can bring a chill to your bones, and hearing "is that your brother" in a rather surprised tone is definitely one of them. I turn around at once, expecting something very bad.

It's bad alright, but not for Steve, seeing as he has his tongue stuck down Nancy Wheeler's throat.

"Oh, that poor girl," I sigh. If there ever was a mismatched couple, it's the two of them. "I hope she doesn't remember a single thing in the morning."

"If she was drinking this punch, she probably won't," Jonathan jokes. "Come on, let's sit down. I need to rest before you drag me out to dance to… 'Boney M' or something like that."

"Oh come on!" I laugh, already imagining the two of us going full on disco; I actually think I might enjoy that. "You're having fun and you know it."

"I am," he admits, raising his hands as we sit down at one of the back tables. "I wasn't expecting it to be as fun as it is, I'll give you that."

"Well, I feel proud."

"Yeah, because this was all your idea and not me inviting you?" he chuckles. Okay, I can't take credit for this one. But I can absolutely take credit for making him laugh.

"Okay, it was your idea,' I admit, laughing when he bows down, pretending as if he won some sort of prize. "But I'm the one who's making this awesome. Oh, this is a first," I mumble, suddenly realizing that I don't recognize the song that was already halfway through. "Do you know this one?" I ask, pointing at one of the speakers.

"'A flock of seagulls'"

"You've got to be shitting me."

"I'm not," he laughs. "It's called "I ran" and you owe me a dollar."

"Fine, add it to the list," I roll my eyes, knowing that he's in the lead for this week. I won the last week, true, but this one, I've been failing miserably. Whenever one of us doesn't know the song and the other one knows it, it goes on the list; one buck for one song. If I remember correctly, I owe him six bucks. Well, seven. "At least I'm losing my money because of a good song."

"It is," he agrees. "I'll add it to your mix tape, don't worry."

"What mix tape?" I frown. I wasn't expecting a reaction of any kind, much less this kind of reaction; he looks as if he's caught red-handed. Which he probably is. "Jonathan, what mix tape?"

"I wasn't supposed to say that."

"Yeah, it figures," I laugh, still amazed by his reaction. "But you've said it, so elaborate."

"I was making you a mix tape for," he sighs. "Now I'm going to have to think of something else." he complains, looking annoyed with himself. My birthday is in like… 10 months. Why is he planning a present for me? Halloween? Christmas?

I don't know what to say to that, I really don't. And neither does he. We ruined his present, both of us combined. I don't even react to the freaking slow dance anthem that started playing.

"Nah, you make that mix tape," I finally speak up, smiling when he looks at me in confusion. "It's still a surprise if I only know one of the songs that will be on it." I shrug.

Is it possible that I, Tina Harrington, am actually looking on the bright side?

"Are you sure?" he sheepishly asks.

"Of course I'm sure," I laugh. "Is there anything I love more than music? I mean, I even adore this one!" I point to the speakers again; Sting was already full on in the chorus of his beautiful, yet stalkerish song. "But this is the problem, right? The song is everywhere. I mean, I like it. I bawled my eyes out when I first heard it. But like… the whole summer, every other song on the radio? "Every breath you take". I'm at work? Yup, "Every breath you take" is playing. Even now, everyone is like… religiously slow dancing to it!" I snap, looking around me. We are literally the only ones that are not dancing. Even the principal, Mr. Meyers is dancing with Mrs. Shannon, my English teacher.

It's too late to look away, I will never be unable to unsee it.

What can I say, it will go down in history as one of those songs I love but hate, seeing as I hear it everywhere, from everyone. It will just be… one of those songs.

"Let's dance."

I wait for a punch line, but… his leg is jumping up and down.

"Are you serious?" I ask in surprise. I struggled to get him to dance to pop and disco and now he wants to slow dance to "Every breath you take"?

"Yeah," he nods his head. "If you want to, that is." He adds. And just like that… poof, it's gone.

"Sure I do," I jump up, not wanting the moment to be completely ruined. He's opening up, he's having fun and I'm not going to ruin it by being in awe of it. He smiles and takes my hand. It all feels a little bit awkward but we get to the improvised dance floor and we take our positions; his hands on my waist, my hands around his neck. Just in time for the song to end. "Well, very poetic."

First, we laugh at the irony of the song ending the moment we start to dance. Then, as soon as the next song starts, we burst out laughing, drawing attention from everyone around us; they all got back to their dances as soon as they've realized it's just Byers and Steve's sister laughing at something.

"You've made me dance to Rick James. Now, I'm making you slow dance to Spandau Ballet." He announces proudly. I don't fight him on it, simply because I don't want to.

Had someone told me that I would actually slow dance to "True" by freaking 'Spandau Ballet' with Jonathan Byers… yeah, I did not see this one coming.

I've never slow danced before but looking at the dancers around us, I assume it's okay to rest my head on his shoulders as we clumsily sway in different directions. It's actually… nice.

The moment the song ends, the bubble is burst.

"Let's have our own party."

"Parking lot?" Jonathan pulls away to look at me and I nod my head. "Sure, let's go."

We are almost out the door when I hear loud laughter.

"Well, well, well," I hear Carol's irritating voice; I take a deep breath before I turn around to face her. "If it isn't Tina Harrington, running off with Byers. Why leave so soon?" she smiles at me. "Do you have a party of your own planned out?" she laughs, eyeing me and then Jonathan up.

"Yeah, this one got a bit dull." I play it off.

"How so? I'm having so much fun!"

"Yeah well, it's dull for us," I say, grabbing Jonathan by the hand, ready to make my escape. "You keep having fun though, with Tommy and his girlfriend number two."

I am out of the gym in the speed of light, pulling Jonathan by the hand.

"Wait, Tommy has another girlfriend?" he laughs.

"How the hell should I know?" I shrug. "But I'm sure Carol will have fun researching it."

* * *

The parking lot simply doesn't cut it; it's too close to the resident jackasses of Hawkins High. I've been having such a great night and I refuse to do that to myself. Jonathan agrees; no wonder we ended up near the woods, safely hidden away from Carol, Tommy, my brother and the rest of the hyenas.

This is just so much better. Jonathan is sitting on his car, laughing at me as I dance around, with my heels in one hand and a can of beer to the other one, acting as if I'm Stevie Nicks, minus the scarf. She has her scarfs; I have my shoes and a can of beer.

"Hey!" I complain when I hear a snap; sure enough, I open my eyes and Jonathan's got a camera in his hands. "I thought you were done with taking random pictures."

"Never," he shakes his head. Well, at least he is consistent. "I want to remember this moment, can you blame me?"

"I can't blame you," I laugh, walking over to the car. "But I don't get it. I'm dancing barefoot. It's not exactly memorable." I shrug; I could think of a thousand different moments of tonight that would have been more memorable to capture but each photographer sees things differently, I suppose.

"It's memorable to me," he shrugs. Can I question that? No, I can't. "Why did you want to leave?"

"Well, I liked the music, I liked the drinks and I liked being there with you," I laugh. "We have music here, better music. We have beer and I'm still with you. Why not?" I shrug.

"True," he tells me as he opens another can of beer and hands it to me. "It was really fun."

"Yeah, it kind of was," I admit. "You can welcome that credit, Byers. Although I still think that I made it awesome, even if it was your idea to go to the dance in the first place."

"Of course you've made it awesome," he comments and I pretend to be all flustered. "They should organize these kind of dances more often." He adds and I laugh as I climb onto the hood of the car.

"Have you become a social butterfly now, Byers?" I laugh.

"Maybe." he mumbles and without warning, takes another photo of me. The car is shaking from his laughter as I sigh and keep my eyes closed, blinded by the flash, as I always am.

"Well, I'm not going to complain about that change," I chuckle, still keeping my eyes closed. I stay silent, waiting for the next song to start and I smile as soon as I recognize it. Jonathan starts laughing at once. If I was to try to find one song in common, one song both of us adore, I would guess that it is this one. It can never get better than Bowie and "Heroes". It's impossible.

"Come on then," he laughs, sliding down the hood with more elegance than I ever could. "Dance number two. In the woods and without shoes."

Why the hell not? "Bowie would be so proud." I laugh as I take his hand.

This time around, I was the one who was more… wooden than him. He was moving my hands; he was trying to make me sway as if he was teaching a kid how to dance. It didn't take me long to channel the Stevie Nicks part of me and I answer his crazy moves with my own. We jump around, holding hands and this is everything but a normal dance. And yes, Bowie would see this and feel pride.

Out of breath, we slow down, just a little bit. It takes me… two seconds to realize that it's not the same.

There, there were more than a hundred people around us. Here, we're alone, the only source of light being the headlights of his car. There, a cheesy song was playing. Here, it's one of my favorite songs. There, I had my head on his shoulder, looking away. Here, I am looking directly at him and I think we are standing just a bit closer.

It's different. I don't know why but it just feels different.

I'm glad for the silence on his part because I don't know what I would say. This is not a moment for words, no matter what they are. But the song will end and the bubble will be burst again and something needs to follow that. I can't exactly ask him about his homework, can I?

This is the shit people don't warn you about. The awkwardness that follows a freaking slow dance! It's all but painful. By the look on Jonathan's face, he's feeling the pain to.

"I don't know what-"

Holy mother of god he is kissing me.

Yeah, the silence following an unexpected kiss is far worse, definitely far worse.

My brain… it's just not functioning. The faster I try to thing, the faster my brain is giving up on me.

"I'm… I'm sorry," Jonathan breaks the silence. "I don't know what… I'm sorry."

I'll be damned if I let him apologize for doing one damn thing he obviously wanted to do. Throwing away the little sanity I had left, I grab him by the shirt and pull him closer to me, pressing our lips together.

I don't know and I can't think properly. The only thing I am aware of is that I like this. The kiss is _good_! _Really_ good! It only gets better as he pulls me closer; I'm pretty sure we knocked down the cans of beer when we hit the hood of the car. I don't care about the beer but this is not comfortable and I don't want it to end. Not quite sure of what I'm doing, I go around the car, pulling him with me as I go; it's not a problem, since he has his hands on my face and is refusing to break the kiss. I don't complain, I just try to find the doorknob. Which is proving to be quite difficult, since the only thing I want to focus on is him.

Somehow, I manage to open the door and he follows my lead as I get into the car.

"Ouch!" I scream, breaking the kiss and earning a proper worried look from him. "Gearshift." I shrug.

"Be careful," he laughs, but he's obviously not worried for my well –being at all, since he just kisses me again, before I even have a chance to move. It takes me about two seconds before I burst out laughing and this time, he's the one attacked by the gearshift. "Backseat."

"Yeah," I nod my head; he waits for me to turn off the headlights. The second I do that, he kisses me again and we start moving towards the backseat. I start laughing again, pulling away from him. "This will never work. You go first, you're taller."

No one ever tells you how fucking uncomfortable it is to try to make out in a car. You never hear stories about stabbing yourself on a gearshift or hitting your head, like Jonathan just did. He somehow manages to fall on the backseat and I take a deep breath, preparing myself for the journey ahead. Cars are not made for shit like this. You can't even turn around in here!

"Easy," he laughs when I almost hit my head as well, probably in the exact same spot that he did. I laugh when I fall down on the seat, next to him. I can't stop laughing and thank god, neither can he.

It is stupid and awkward but it's real. It's not some… cheesy movie. It's what happens to the two of us; we can't even make out the way one should.

And the only way it can be fixed is if we just… move along. We jump on one another at the same time, our lips connecting again and this time, car parts aren't attacking us. In such a close space, it's difficult to find a position but we just sit down and face each other. But that's not close enough.

"Jonathan, go down." I tell him as I break our kiss.

"W-what?" even with the lack of lighting, I can see his surprised, doe-eyed expression.

"Oh for fuck's sake!" I laugh. "Not _that_ Jonathan! Just… lie down. Men." I shake my head in disbelief. Leave it to a guy to think… I can't. This is too good to be ruined by Jonathan's dirty mind.

It takes us a few moments but we finally find a comfortable position. Semi comfortable, seeing as the only thing that's keeping me from falling down are his hands. He's holding me because the only alternative would be if I quite literally sit on top of him, and that isn't happening.

Ah, we find a compromise; I'm halfway on top of him, while his arms are draped around my back, keeping me from sliding off and falling down in the gap between the seats. Finally, I can focus.

Jesus, this is not what I thought would happen. Not even when people were pointing it out to me. But here we are now. And I'm really, really enjoying it.

Now, I haven't kissed many guys before; in fact, I've only had one kiss before Jonathan had blindsided me, but I don't need to have experience to know that kissing is not something someone can distract you from, at least not easily. There is only one thing that could push Jonathan, his lips and his hands out of my mind at this very moment: music.

"What is it?" Jonathan asks in alert when I pull away. Let's face it, it could be anything. Me being mildly injured, me needing to pee, a creep looking through the car window.

"Is this… is this Bootsy Collins?" I manage to ask.

The silence is followed by the loudest laughter I have ever heard coming out of Jonathan. I can't hold it back either and the song is not helping. Out of all the scenarios I would have imagined, making out with Jonathan Byers in the backseat of his Ford, while "I'd rather be with you" is playing on the radio… it's practically science fiction. The more Bootsy sings, the more we laugh. We both give up, completely. I'm no longer holding on for dear life; I'm lying on top of him, leaving traces of my tears on his shirt. I don't think I've ever laughed as hard as I'm laughing now.

I don't know how long we laugh, but Bootsy's still jamming by the time our laughter dies.

"Let's ignore Bootsy, what do you say?" he suggests, grinning up at me.

"Yeah, good idea," I agree, planting another kiss on him as fast as I possibly can. We stay in place for literally three seconds because the next thing I know is that I'm falling down. Thank god, Jonathan manages to grab me before I fall down completely and he pulls me onto his body again. "This is a complete disaster." I laugh; it's not even worth trying anymore.

"I know," he chuckles. "But it doesn't get any better than this, does it?"

No, it really doesn't.

* * *

 **1)Blondie – Call me (getting ready for the dance)  
2) The Weather Sisters – It's Raining Men (dance)  
3) Rick James – Super Freak (dance)  
4) The Human League – Don't You Want Me (dance)  
5) A Flock Of Seagulls - I Ran (dance)  
6) The Police – Every Breath You Take (heart eyes, MILEVEN! 3) (almost first slow dance song)  
7) Spandau Ballet – True (first real slow dance song)  
8) Stevie Nicks – Edge Of Seventeen (Tina pretending to be Stevie Nicks)  
9) David Bowie – Heros (had to happen: slow dance and KISS!)  
10) Bootsy's Rubber Band - I'd Rather Be With You (the best song in the history of time, the backseat anthem of Jina/Jotina(?))**


	6. Save A Prayer

**I still can't quite believe how much I'm enjoying this! I LOVE writing this story and your reactions make it like… 100x better! I honestly don't know what I'm gonna do when I catch up with Season 2 because… I'm going to have to slow down a bit with this, but… not just yet! :D**

 **THANK YOU! For your reviews and continued support. I mean it, thank you! :)**

 **As always, here's a little playlist and this time, it's actually little!**

 **1)Madonna – Lucky Star  
2)Duran Duran – Save A Prayer (keep an eye on the lyrics ;) )**

 **Yeah, that's it from me. Thank you for the massive support, I'll keep on writing. I hope you like it, don't forget to let me know what you think! Enjoy! :)**

* * *

I bob my head to the song, mumbling along as I try to figure out if I'm using the sewing machine the way I should be using it. It's one thing to sew a dress for your favorite doll when you are six, and another to sew together a full on Chewbacca costume. Yeah, I bit of more than I can chew.

Yeah, not even the pending disaster can ruin my mood.

"Tina!" mom's voice catches my attention; she's standing by the door, looking at the situation in confusion. Can't blame her; I haven't touched the sewing machine in years, it's early on a Saturday and music is blasting through the stereo. "Keep the volume down, you'll wake the dead." She warns me.

"Would you rather listen to Madonna or the sewing machine?"

"Sewing machine," she deadpans. "What are you even doing with it?" I watch as her eyes travel to the fabric I'm using. Old, ripped, brown blankets. I really can't blame her. "Tina, what are you doing?"

"I'm trying to make a Chewbacca costume for Dustin."

"Who is Dustin? And what is a Chewbacca?" she asks in confusion.

"Dustin is one of the best friends of Jonathan's brother Will," I explain quickly. "And Chewbacca, without "a", is a character from 'Star Wars'. Chewbacca's a wookie."

"I have even more questions than I had seconds ago."

"Okay, Jonathan, my friend? We went to the dance last night?" I ask and she nods her head. "Well, he has a 12-year-old brother named Will. Dustin is Will's best friend and I'm helping him with a costume."

"Why?"

"Because the only thing worse than me trying to make this costume is four 12-year-olds trying to make it," I roll my eyes; I almost feel insulted when I see her doing her best not to start laughing. "Look, I'm doing it, I can't back out of it now. I just need to figure out how to do it."

"What does this… Chewbacca look like?" she asks.

"Well, Chewbacca is… kind of like… a werewolfy, human, hairy looking bear."

"Tina, have you been doing drugs?" mom asks me in a serious tone.

"No, mom!" I snap in annoyance. "It really is what I'm saying it is. It's from 'Star Wars', it doesn't have to make sense to anyone. I need to figure this crap out, because if I don't, that kid will go without a costume and it's going to be my fault!" I hit the sewing machine in anger; so much for a good mood.

"Alright, I'm not going to ask any more questions," mom laughs. "What are his measures?"

"What measures?"

"His body measures," she elaborates. Oh. That. "Tina, please tell me you didn't start making a costume without knowing the exact measures." She sighs, already knowing that's exactly what had happened.

"Okay, I just started working on the costume, I would have figured it out soon." I defend myself.

"Tina," she sighs, looking at me in amusement. "Get the boy to come here. I'll help you."

"Thanks mom." I smile, feeling relieved that I will have her help. I walk over to the bed and jump on it, grabbing my phone. I need to find out Dustin's number; I don't even know what his last name is!

"What's this?" mom asks and I notice her pointing at the black jacket that is on my bed.

"Oh, Jonathan gave me his jacket last night when it got cold." I shrug.

"A gentleman," mom nods, clearly impressed with hiss manners. "I tried to make one out of Steve."

"Yeah… I'm not so sure if that one worked," I mumble, finally dialing Jonathan's number; she is obviously planning to stick around for the phone call and if I try to usher her out, she would think that I am doing it so that I can whisper sweet nothings to Jonathan over the phone. It's better if I just call him and get it over with. Although, this is not going to be a good first conversation, not after everything that had happened last night.

I finally got home after midnight. Steve was home before me! It was… amazing. But we haven't done much talking. All we've agreed on is that I will take his jacket because it's cold and that we will talk today. I don't think we were counting on my Mom being in the room for when that happens.

"Hello, Jonathan speaking."

"Hey, it's Tina." I mumble, watching my mom from the corner of my eye as she meddles around the sewing machine; I have a feeling she's paying careful attention to every word I say.

"Hey," he suddenly sounds more cheerful; I can practically imagine his smile. "How are you? Did you sleep well?" he asks. Yeah, I really wish we could talk in private.

"Yeah, yeah, it was good," I sound carefree. "You?"

"Yeah… good." He mumbles. He can hear that I sound off, I know he can. He'll figure it out, I'm sure.

"Is Will home? I need to speak to him for a minute?" I swiftly change the topic, still eyeing mom.

"Will?" Jonathan laughs. "You… want to talk to my brother?"

"Yeah, I need to ask him something."

He doesn't say anything. I'm already contemplating whether or not I should risk it all and say something.

"Hey!" Will answers, literally seconds before I say something I might end up regretting. "What's up?"

"Hey Will, could you please give me Dustin's phone number?" I ask. I want to throw something at my mom because _this_ is the moment she has decided to leave the room and let me have a normal conversation. "I need to check something with him about the Halloween costume."

"Sure, do you have a piece of paper?"

In a matter of seconds, I find a pen and one of my notebooks and I scribble down the number that Will gives me.

"Thank you, Will," I tell him, leaning over my bed to see if mom's anywhere nearby. Fuck it, I'm risking it. "Could you put Jonathan back on the phone please?"

"Yeah, just… oh, he's in the shower," he tells me. Damn it! "Do you want him to call you back?"

"Yes, please," I sigh, hoping my mom will be happy. "Tell him to call me as soon as possible, okay?"

"Sure."

I call Dustin the moment I hang up with Will, not wanting to have the line busy when Jonathan calls.

"You have reached the Henderson residence. How may I be of service?"

"Yeah, hi Dustin," I laugh, amused by the way he answers the phone. Add to that the cute sound he makes when he talks and his level of adorableness goes through the roof. "It's Tina."

"Tina who?"

"How many Tina's do you know that are making your Halloween costume?" I ask in annoyance.

"Ah, the one and only, Tina," he chuckles and I laugh, yet again. "How may I help you, sweet Tina?"

"Yeah, I'm going to need you to come over to my place, if you can. I need to measure you up. Well, my mom needs to; she'll help me with your costume. We need it to fit you well, right?"

"Right now?" he asks and I mumble in agreement. "Can Mike come over too?"

"Sure, just get your asses here," I agree, quickly giving him my address and ending the call as fast as I possibly could. I stare at it for a solid 30 seconds before realizing that my entire conversation with Dusting couldn't have been longer than… one minute or something? It's impossible for Jonathan to already be out of the bathroom. I will have to wait for a little while but I can do with a bit of wait.

I'm one of those stupid girls, I know I am. I know it the moment I grab his jacket and actually smell it. Yup, it smells like him, like whatever cologne he uses. I am grinning like an idiot and I don't even have a problem with being one of those girls.

Actually, I think every girl is one of those girls; it's just a matter of time before a guy awakes it in you. I didn't want for Jonathan to make me into a… stupid, bubbly teen that only things about him but… day 1 and I'm here, with my nose buried in his jacket.

Everyone else knew it before I did, before we did. I meant it when I said it, I did not see anything more happening between the two of us. But it had happened and it… I enjoyed it very much. And I want to continue it. I want to see where the hell it can go. I would be willing to go under interrogation by my parents; I would be willing to listen to Steve's complaints and to everyone teasing me.

Oh yeah, bring it on. If that means I get to keep Jonathan… bring it.

* * *

"Are you trying to make that phone ring with your mind?"

"Huh?"

"Are you trying to make that phone ring with your mind?" Mike repeats his question and I remind myself that hitting a child that is not your sibling is not a good thing. Hitting siblings isn't good either, but when your brother is Steve Harrington, you are forgiven. "Or are you just trying to move it?"

"Oh, shut up."

"Hey, my sister does it too," he raises his arms in defense. "She was like that when I left the house."

"Yeah, you'd better not say that around here, Mike," I warn him; he's a smart boy, he can figure it out. Steve is yet to make an appearance, he hasn't left his room as far as I know but if I were Nancy, I wouldn't want him to hear that I was waiting for a phone call; I saw them last night. If she's not waiting for my brother's call, Nancy must have had one hell of a night.

"Why would… oh," he mumbles, before frowning in disgust. "You teenagers are creepy."

"Oh, we are," I can't protest about that one. "But wait 'till you become just as creepy as we are."

"Ugh, never."

"Yeah, I'll see ya," I laugh, before returning to what Mike had interrupted me in; staring at my phone. It's been an hour since I've told Will to tell Jonathan to call me as soon as possible. I'm not going to panic. I can't do that. Maybe he is busy; he had to make lunch or something. Maybe Will forgot to tell him, that can happen; god knows how many times I forgot to tell Steve that girl number 5 called while he wasn't home. Besides, I don't want to annoy him with my calls. Not everything needs to happen right away, the moment I want it to happen. I need to learn how to be patient.

"That phone isn't going to ring just because you're staring at it." Mike reminds me.

"I thought that having an older brother is the worst but… I was wrong."

"Ah, I love you too!" Mike teases me and this time, I actually hit him. With a pillow, so I suppose that means I am forgiven. I swear, I had a mouth on me when I was their age but they are 10 times worse, especially the two that are at my place right now. I'm yet to test Lucas, but he seems a bit more… chill than Mike or Dustin. And Will is a freaking angel of a child. An angel that forgets to tell people someone called and asked for them to call back.

"Well, we are done!" I hear my mom and seconds later, she and Dustin walk into my room. "Dustin, you don't need to worry; we will have your Chebacka costume ready right on time."

"Chewbacca." Mike, Dustin and I correct her at the same time.

"Chewbacca," she laughs. "Now, do you boys want to stay a while longer? I have some cookies."

"Thank you Mrs. Harrington, but my mom will make a meatloaf out of us if we're late for lunch," Mike speaks up as he starts walking out of my room, followed by Dustin. "Thank you for the OJ, Mrs. Harrington."

"And thank you for helping Tina with such a challenging task," Dustin smile at her. "Thank you."

"Aww, thank you boys. Let me walk you out." Mom gushes; they have completely made her heart melt.

"Thank you Mrs. Harrington. Tina, over and out!" Dustin tells me and he and Mike salute me.

"Yeah, over and out." I imitate their salute.

Yeah, Joyce and Will are a packaged deal that comes with Jonathan. And so are Dustin, Mike and Lucas.

From where I am sitting on the bed, I can see Steve stopping in the hallway, looking in confusion at the two boys who are making their way down the stairs, followed by mom, before looking back at me.

"How long was I asleep?" he asks, his voice groggy. I sigh as I get up and walk over to the door.

"Not long enough." I close the door in his face.

* * *

Six hours. I have waited for six hours before I finally broke and called Jonathan. Will answered.

"He hasn't called you yet?" Will asks in surprise.

"You told him?"

"Yeah, I did," he mumbles in confusion. "He must have forgotten about it. He's at work now, but I will remind him when he comes back home. Or in the morning, if I fall asleep."

"Please," I tell Will. "It's important. Please Will, don't forget."

"I won't," he promises. "I'll even write a note."

"Okay, thanks Willster. Talk to you later."

There's no way in hell Jonathan forgot, not if Will have told him. No. We've had this situation before. Every time I said I had to talk, Joyce or Will would pass the message on or I'll just leave a message on the answering machine and he would always call. And not once did I point out that it's an emergency.

Now, I've made it clear that it's important that he calls. If he's not calling, it's because he doesn't want to. And that is making me worry.

No, it's too early to panic. Way too early. Will will write a note, tell him tonight or in the morning, he will call and we will finally talk in peace. I will not panic. I will not be one of those girls.

* * *

"Hey Joyce, it's Tina."

"Oh, hi sweetie," she tells me, her voice automatically turning into the gentle tone she uses when she talks to me. "How are you?"

"I'm okay. You? Is Jonathan at home?" I ask even before she had a chance to respond.

"No, he's at work," she tells me. "He ran out as soon as we had breakfast."

So he did see Will. And he is avoiding me.

"Could you please tell him to call me when he gets home? I need to talk to him."

"Sure, I will," she promises. "Tina honey, is everything okay? You sound a bit off."

"Oh, it's just a head ache, don't worry about me," I reassure her. "Just remind him to call me, okay?"

"Yeah, I will," she agrees. "Just get some rest, okay?"

"Yes, thank you."

He is absolutely avoiding me.

I will not go to his workplace. I will not fall that low. This is the last attempt I've made. If he decides not to call me after another reminder, I am done with calling.

* * *

I have gone through at least 30 different moods today.

At first, I was angry. I grabbed his jacket and I was waiting for him to walk past me in the school hallways, ready to throw it at him in pure rage.

Then, I was sad. I was sulking while staring at the jacket in my hands, thinking how it still smells of him.

And finally, I was worried. I didn't see him, all day. Normally, we would run into each other. Most of the time, we're not in the same class and on Mondays, it just so happens that we have no classes together. I was absolutely sure that I would find him in the dark room, which has become our regular meeting place during lunch break but he just wasn't there.

Giving me a cold shoulder is one thing. Skipping school is something else. When we talked yesterday, Joyce didn't mention anything about him feeling under the weather. That either changed or he has become a champion in avoiding me and honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about it.

I was prepared to be alone in the dark room after school, so I wasn't disappointed when I didn't find him there. Suddenly, this room has become the place it was before Jonathan, before we had our first real conversation here. It's just a room, where I develop photos, listen to music and smoke a few. It's not a safe haven from the stupidity of high school which I get to share with my best friend.

I thought that all was okay. We were laughing that night, it was the best night ever. He kissed me goodnight, he gave me his jacket. Even when we talked the other day, albeit briefly, he sounded as if he was happy to hear from me. And now he's just pretending as if I don't exist.

I have been making fun of Steve's rejects for years now. Now that I feel like a reject myself, I doubt I'll do it ever again. I can only hope that Nancy Wheeler got a call back, when I haven't.

I jump up in surprise when the door slams open; he looks equally surprised to find me here.

"Hey."

"Hey," he responds, not even offering me a smile or anything. "I… I thought you left. Sorry."

If he thought I have left, that must mean that Steve wasn't waiting for me. Which would normally mean that Jonathan will drop me home, like he usually does. Today, I have a feeling I'll have to walk.

"Yeah well, I'm still here. But don't mind me."

I can't tell if anger or hurt are stronger in me at this point. Whatever it is, I can't even look at him. I focus on the photos I have been working on and I try to pretend like he's not doing the same just a few feet away from me.

I can't believe him. I can't believe he's willing to act as if nothing had happened between us. Even more than that, I can't believe he's acting like we're not even friends but just… two people, in the same place at the same time. I thought I was going to ask him for reasons why he hadn't called me but I can't even do that. In all honesty, I don't want to hear his response to that. It's uncomfortable enough as it is.

Accidentally, I see one of the photos he was working on; my face appears on it.

And the music isn't helping at all. The lyrics are just adding insult to injury and I don't know if I'll ever listen to "Save a Prayer" in the same way. The more Simon sings, the more annoyed I get. And he's just standing there, ignoring me so… effortlessly.

If only the photos could dry faster. As I wait for them to dry, I walk to the other side of the room, lighting another cigarette; the photos he is developing are the ones from that night and those photos are the last thing I want to look at.

What if he's doing it on purpose? He could have known I was here. I'm here every fucking day! Whether Steve was waiting to be my taxi driver or not, Jonathan could have guessed that I was down here.

He doesn't respond to my calls, he avoids me in school, he doesn't speak to me when he can't avoid me. And as if all of that wasn't enough, he's working on those pictures.

He didn't give me a single sign that something was off. On Friday night, he seemed to be happy just as much as I was. Not a single… well, yes, he did give me signs. Not on Friday but the cold shoulder and the ignoring I've been faced with the whole weekend… that can speak for itself.

I can understand that he doesn't want to continue whatever I thought we have started that night. I don't like it but I can understand. I'm hardly a trophy one would like to have. I can even understand that he doesn't want to be friends with me anymore; it can happen. Things happen and people part ways, this wouldn't be the first or the last time. What I don't understand is why he's adding insult to injury and making fun of me in such a way.

Yeah, that's it. I don't even care if I ruin the photos; most of them are of him anyways; I grab them all, not looking at if I'm bending them, not checking if they're dry; I just throw them into my backpack, feeling as if I won't be able to breathe if I stay here a second longer and the feeling only grows when I see him looking my way, looking at what I am doing in mild wonder, as if he is surprised by my reaction. He looks at me with that stupid look of his, that mix between a frown and a look of worry. Even when he's a jackass, he still looks like the most innocent person ever, dimples and all.

Jackass. He is a total and complete jackass.

"Your jacket is on the table." I snap as I walk past him, hitting him with my shoulder; I feel good about it, even if I had not done it on purpose. I make sure to slam the door on my way out. I don't just slam it; I put all my strength into the move and I'm pretty sure half the school had heard it. And I don't care.

I'll be damned if I become one of those girls, like the ones my brother uses and then throws away. I will not let Jonathan Byers treat me the same way Steve has treated the last 20.

No, no way. No one will ever do that to me, not even Jonathan. I can take a lot of shit, I really can. I can take it, I can forgive and forget, but to have someone insult and disrespect me in such away? Absolutely not. I'll be damned if I allow a man to have such power over me.

* * *

"Um, Tina?" I hear Steve's voice. I ignore it, I ignore him. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing, drawing fucking rainbows?" I ask and I can see that he's taken aback by my response. "I'm crying and listening to Duran Duran and I want to do so in peace."

Am I asking for much? I just wanted to be alone in my misery, which is why I closed the damned door.

"Yeah, you haven't changed the fucking song for four hours."

"I don't care," I tell him as I wipe away a stray tear. "Leave me alone, Steve. This day has been shitty enough already, I don't need you to add the fucking sprinkles on top of the sundae."

"Okay, what the hell is going on?" he asks. Despite me telling him that I want to be alone, he persists; he walks inside my room and closes the door behind him. He isn't going to let this one slide. "You look like shit. You're crying, Tina. You cry next to never! You have been acting weird ever since… after the dance," I listen as he puts two and two together. It didn't take him as long as I thought it would take him. "Are you like this because of Byers?"

"I'm not."

I don't think I've ever said a less convincing lie than this one. I'm a solid liar, I really am but this was… pre-school level. A monkey would have called my bluff, let alone my brother.

"What did he do?" Steve asks and I just ignore him; just because he didn't buy it doesn't mean that he needs to know all the details. "Tina, what the hell did he do to you?" he waits for my response but I give him nothing. "Tina, I swear to god, if you don't tell me, I'll break him in half!"

"Nothing, Steve!" I finally give up. "Nothing happened. He did nothing. I'm the idiot. It's not his fault."

And that's the reality of it all. The shitty, ugly reality. He really did nothing wrong. Yes, he could have been a bit… kinder, I suppose, about the whole thing. But it's not his fucking fault. He didn't say anything, we didn't talk about it. I've created the problem out of nothing. It's my fault because I've just assumed that it meant something and it means nothing. And that's okay. The problem is, I didn't think before I made a decision in his stead. It's not his fault, even if he's been acting like a jackass about it.

"Tina, tell me," Steve insists, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "It's my job to keep you safe."

"I'm not in danger, Steven."

"But you are hurt," he mumbles. Yeah, I can't really deny that one. Just because the wounds are self-inflicted doesn't mean that they don't hurt like hell. "Look, if anyone knows how your average guy thinks, especially about girls, it's me. I can… solve the freaking puzzle in your stead."

"Yeah, because you and Jonathan Byers have so much in common," I mumble. I know that he is worried and that his suggestion was a way for him to try to help me but it's plainly stupid. "That's the problem here, Steve. He isn't your average guy. I can't… I can't use that mold."

"So… you do like him, after all?"

"Steve, now is absolutely not the moment for you to tell me 'I told you so'."

"I'm not saying it," he shakes his head. "Look, if you don't think I can help you… just let me know if I have to kick his ass because I will gladly do it. I don't care if it's his fault or your fault, no one can make you cry and just get away with it."

Well, maybe I should just ask Jonathan to be a jackass to me more often, since it's apparently serving as the glue that's bringing Steve and me closer together. He's never said anything like this to me before. It's kind of nice, knowing that I have someone that would gladly kick asses because of me.

"Don't waste your tears on an idiot. It doesn't matter if it's Byers or if it's the next door neighbor. You shouldn't cry because of someone."

"See, I was fine before," I mumble. Oh god, I'm going into full confessional mode. "I was all fine and strong and now I'm just… a big pile of mush."

"From my experience," Steve stops, taking a moment to think. "Girls are often like that. You want to show that you are strong. And most of the time, you are, you really are. But from my experience, there's always that one guy," he chuckles, "I was that guy sometimes. And other times, that guy took my place. But every girl, almost every girl, has that one guy that can make her weak even without trying. That guy that can do next to anything, and they'd run back. Maybe Byers is that guy for you."

"What if he is?" I ask. I'm starting to be genuinely worried about this because I recognize the textbook example of what Steve just told me. I see it every day, with every other girl at school. "I don't want to have a guy like that. Not now, not ever."

"See, I don't think you can fight it," Steve admits as he makes himself more comfortable; he even puts his feet up on the bed. I'm actually interested in what he has to say and I don't even bother with making him put his feet back down. "I also think it works for guys as well, that there's always that one girl. I don't think that can be changed. It will always be like that but I do believe that you can play around with it a little bit."

"How?"

"Whatever you do, don't let the guy know that he's that guy," he tells me, his voice dead serious; this has turned into a very serious conversation. "If he knows it, you've… you've given him infinite power. You can also reverse it; if you're that girl to someone, you can do whatever the hell you want. Now, that doesn't mean that everyone uses it. Using it is a dick move, let's be honest," I nod; it's absolutely a dick move and he has perfected it. "If you want to make it out of it alive, don't let the guy know that he's the guy. That's the biggest mistake you can make."

"I understand what you're saying but what the hell happened to trust?"

"Trust doesn't exist, not in the early stages and if that's what you're looking for, you should stop," he shakes his head. I don't think I've ever heard him sound more certain about something. "Once you built trust, then it becomes pretty obvious that the guy's the guy. As it should be, because that's how relationships work. Being with someone… you know they can hurt you horribly and they know that they can hurt you horribly. But you trust them that they won't do it, despite having that ability."

"That is… very fucked up."

"I know," he agrees. "But that's what it is. It sucks, but…"

"Yeah, but," I sigh, falling back on my pillows. "I just… want to erase everything."

"You can't. Yeah, you already knew that," he sighs when he sees the look I give him. "Look, maybe you should just give it a bit of space. I don't know what happened and judging by the tears you've cried, I probably don't want to hear it but… give yourself a bit of time. Give the fucker time too! Clear your heads and then make a decision. Don't force anything on yourself."

"And what, I'm just… not gonna function properly until I sort it out?"

"Of course you're gonna function properly," he laughs. "Sure, it'll hurt like a bitch. And it's not going to be easy, especially not if things don't end up going the way you want them too. But this guy is what? A guy? A friend? And you were not yourself before him? Of course you were. You had a life before a guy and you will have a life after a guy. Focus on other crap and it will be easier."

"This sucks, Steve. Like… it really sucks."

"I know," he puts his arm over my shoulder and pulls me in for a lazy hug. "But it will either get sorted out or it will pass. There's no middle option. And if you do change your mind about me kicking his ass to hell and back, just holler. Okay?" he asks and I nod my head, despite knowing that Jonathan could never do something so bad that would make me call for the cavalry. Although, the way things have been developing, maybe I shouldn't put anything past him. "I've got your back. I've always got your back."

Out of all the people who I thought could possibly help me with this… I shouldn't put Steve in a box. I know him like the palm of my hand and he still managed to surprise me.

Big brother or a guard dog, he is doing a decent job right now.

* * *

 **1)Madonna – Lucky Star – right at the start, in Tina's room**

 **2)Duran Duran – Save A Prayer – both in the dark room and when Tina cries and talks to Steve**


	7. A Case Of You

**I couldn't have just given you a happy ending right away, could I? Even if canon isn't exactly happy but… you get the point :D  
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I mean it. Thank you! :)**

 **1) Joni Mitchel – A case of you**  
 **2) Donna Summer – Bad girls**  
 **3) [Stranger Things 2] Outside the Realm - Big Giant Circles feat. Ashly Burch & Malukah (yeah, I listen to this one as I write so you could call it Tina&Jonathan's theme song)**

 **Yeah, that would be it from me. You know the drill, if you like the story, tell meee :D Let me know what you think! And enjoy this chapter! :)**

* * *

10 days since the dance. 7 days since the last… conversation. Number of ruined songs: 49 and counting.

It really doesn't matter how pissed off I am about the whole thing; it's the music that hurts the most. I am not forgiving him for ruining so many songs I would have gladly kept to myself. Now, whenever I hear a song that either reminds me of him for whatever reason, or a song that we have listened to and talked about, I write it down. I have a fucking list of songs he has ruined for me. A whole fucking list.

And I can't even point a finger at him. I tried, I really did but I can't, not when it is essentially my fault.

We don't talk anymore, not unless "hi" counts and to me, it doesn't. In all honesty, I didn't even realize how dependent I was of him, not until this entire mess had happened. I didn't realize it. I mean, what did we do? We talked and we spent time together and now we don't. I mean, what did I do before he became my friend? I was doing the same things I'm doing now; school, dark room, work, studying, bickering with Steve. The only difference now is that I'm actually missing something better. And I hate it.

And my photos are… well, shit. They're shit now. The things I use to photograph before just aren't… captivating enough. I was taking way too many photos of him. Photos that I have to keep now. Throwing them away would be childish and giving them to him would be even more childish; not to mention they'd end up in the garbage either way. I can only hide those photos away, hoping that soon, random people will be interesting enough for me to photograph again.

I don't even jump up in surprise when the doors of the dark room open; I don't even have to look up to know that it's him. It's easier if I don't look up.

"Hey."

"Hey."

Mondays are the worst because on Mondays, I have an entire 30 minute window from the moment I get to the dark room to the time he enters. It was like that every single Monday but now… I could have been done with my work in 30 minutes. I know it, he knows it. Yet I stretch it out, because I know that he will show up. I know he will come down here as well and I know that the silence will kill me, but I stay.

Without music, it has become 10 times worse. The silence is horrible when I don't have a song I can focus on but for the first time in my life, music is not an escape to me anymore. Now it's just a reminder and it's easier for me to stay away from it.

Steve said that it is going to get easier and I'm holding onto it but in seven days, it hasn't become easier at all, not one bit. If anything, it is only worse. I really never knew that silence could be so painful.

"That one is good," his voice nearly gives me a heart attack. I look up, seeing him pointing at one of the photos that I've developed earlier. It's just a stupid photo, not special in any way; three teenagers sitting in the schoolyard, their backs turn to the camera. I don't even know who's in it. "The lighting is perfect."

"Yeah, I guess it's pretty good," I shrug. "I've done better."

"The one you took of mom and Will will never be beaten," he tells me and I smile, knowing exactly which photo he's talking about; the last time I was there, it had its honorary place among the framed photos in their house. I've managed to capture a perfect moment when Joyce and Will were laughing, with Joyce hugging the boy as if her life depended on it. "But others were good too."

"Yeah," I smile as I start taking down the photos; I've had my five minutes of torture and it's enough for the day. Even if we have talked more than we did in the past seven days combined, things aren't going to magically return to what they were before Friday. But they won't; as I told Jonathan, my time machine is broken. "See you." I mumble as I throw the backpack over my shoulder.

Every single time, I'm the one that leaves first and every single time, I hope that he will stop me, say something. I don't need an apology; I don't need things to return to what they used to. Well, I want that, even if I can't have it. But I just… I want him to acknowledge me, to say something and he never does.

At one point, I'm going to stop hoping for that and I'm not sure what will happen when I reach that point. All I know is that every day, I am one day closer to it and honestly, that is what keeps me going. It's either going to disappear or return to its normal state; that's what Steve had told me. We all know it isn't going back to normal, so now I just need to wait for it to disappear completely.

"You're still haven't talked?" Steve asks the moment I slam the car door shut. These days, he doesn't even bother asking for an explanation regarding my mood swings; he knows exactly what's going on.

"No."

"And I'm going to take a wild guess her and say that you probably don't want to talk about?"

"Yes," I mumble. "Can we turn off the radio, please?"

He doesn't say anything. Steve always has a passing comment and if he had one now, he didn't say it out loud. He just turned the radio off, allowing me to dive into my own thoughts in complete silence. He didn't say a word to me for the whole ride and I don't think I can thank him enough for that.

* * *

"This is not looking good, is it?"

No, it is not. It looks nothing like Chewbacca. It looks like Chewbacca that fell into dirt and his fur got all dark and sticky. In all honesty, it looks idiotic but I can't say that to my mother, not after she had gone out of her way to help me with this. She's been doing all the sewing and I was just the one giving directions and following the progress. Despite our efforts, what we are calling a costume is a complete disaster. It's tragic, really. Even the "fur" made out of blankets is three shades darker than it should be.

"I mean," I mumble, looking over the costume again, trying to find the right words for it. "It doesn't matter what we do with it, it's still better than taping it to Dustin."

"You're right about that, but I don't want to give this to the boy if it's not good enough."

"Yes, but what else can we do?" I ask her. "I'm already painting a face mask, since a fury mask wouldn't work." I shrug. Chewbacca might have a furry face in the movies but I can't just make that happen in real life, without Dustin looking like a complete idiot. And I'm not doing that to the kid. "We're doing the best we can with the material we've been given."

"But it's the wrong material," mom sighs. I don't even have the energy to remind her that I'm not the one to blame for that in any way. I don't even argue as much these days; I just don't have the strength in me to show any kind of emotion, not even a negative one. "You know what? I'm going to look around town today. I'm sure I can find something better than this."

"Mom, you don't have to do that," I say, knowing my words are going to be completely useless, as she is already grabbing her bag. "Fine, I'll pay for it." I sigh; that's the least I can do at this point.

"Don't be crazy," she rolls her eyes. "It's not that expensive. Besides, I'm actually enjoying this. It's been years since you and Steve were willing to wear something I made you."

Thank you, universe! Thank you for throwing some more guilt on my back! It's not like I haven't had enough of it already.

"Thank you for doing this."

"It's not a problem honey," she tells me as she gives me a quick kiss on the head. "Lunch is on the stove if you're hungry." She adds before leaving the house.

Even she has a mission now. And I'm a mission-less human bag of misery.

Listening to Joni Mitchell is often the best idea someone can have. I adore Joni Mitchell with every fiber of my being and I would listen to her always, but today, it was just a bad idea.

It's funny, love songs. Especially the sad ones. You know they're sad. And sometimes, they touch you, even if you can't relate to them. But then, your heart gets broken. Or seriously maimed. And those sad love songs get a whole different perspective.

I've been staying away from music on purpose, knowing it wouldn't end well for me. And now I am listing to what is quite possibly the saddest song in existence.

It fucking hurts. I know I am the definition of disaster but that isn't stopping me from hugging a pillow and crying in silence, not wanting my sobs to harm the beauty of the song. It hurts so fucking much. These are the things you need a friend for. A friend to help you when you feel down, a friend to pick you up and help you dust yourself off before carrying on with your head held high. You move on, with your friend by your side, showing that person that had hurt you that they have nothing on you anymore.

The problem is, sometimes the one that has hurt you and your best friend are the same fucking person.

I am so immersed in my little bubble of pain, the sound of the phone ringing actually made me jump.

I ignore it but when it rings for the fourth time, I remember that there's no one other than me in the house; Steve is… well, fuck if I know where Steve is. Dad is at work and mom is shopping for Dustin's costume. I'm the only one and I can either ignore the ringing or be an adult and answer.

"Hello."

"Tina?" I jump up in surprise when I recognize the voice on the other side. "Tina, it's Joyce."

"Joyce? Is everything okay?"

I can imagine a few reasons why Joyce would be calling my house and none of them are good.

"Yes, yes, everything is okay," she reassures me, probably recognizing the worry in my voice. I fall back down and I burry my head in the pillow. She scared the shit out of me, I already thought that something had happened to Jonathan, maybe even Will. "Honey, are you okay? You don't… sound okay."

"Yeah, I'm…" I start, only to realize that I don't actually know how to answer that one. "I was just listening to a sad song, that's all."

The best lies are the one that stay the closest to the truth as possible. In fact, I didn't lie at all.

"I'm not surprised to hear that; I have a teen in my house that's been doing the same for the past couple of days," Joyce comments. I don't know what she's trying to do, what she's trying to accomplish here. I didn't think Jonathan would fall so low to send his mother do to his bidding. Now what, will Joyce apologize in his stead? "Tina, I don't know what happened and in all honesty, I don't want you to tell me," she speaks up once I don't respond to her comment in any way. "All I know is… you haven't been here for days. We miss you, all three of us. Especially Will," she adds. Yeah, more guilt. Please, universe, keep it up, will you?! "We don't know what happened between you and Jonathan but we miss you and we want you to come over. Jonathan is working the second shift today and Will will be back from Mike's before that. Just… come on over. Let's talk and have a cup of coffee or something."

I don't think Jonathan could ever make her do something like this. It's not his style but then again, who am I to claim that I know his character when I've been proven wrong so far? I also know Joyce wouldn't lie to me and she definitely wouldn't use Will as an excuse.

And I fucking miss them too! I know that it's not exactly logical; mom and the younger brother of my best friend? I shouldn't care! But I do and I miss them, especially Will.

"Jonathan won't be home?" I check; I have to.

"No."

"I'll get ready."

* * *

Joyce was telling me the truth; Jonathan was at work and Will wasn't at home either. He will be back by seven and she waited for me with a coffee and a blanket ready; we sat down on the porch and just… started talking.

It's idiotic, I know it is. It isn't normal for me to have such a friendly relationship with my best friend's mom, much less my ex best friend's mom! I'm not supposed to have a heart to heart conversation with her, especially not when I barely talk to her son. But I'm here and we are talking.

Well, we are complaining to each other, that's exactly what we're doing.

"I wish I would have listened to my parents when they told me it wasn't easy," she tells me, pausing to take a sip of her coffee. "I rolled my eyes and ignored them and here I am now, struggling even more than they had to struggle. Teenagers never listen."

"Please don't tell me that it's not going to be easy."

"No," she laughs, shaking her head. "I'm not trying to make a lecture out of this. I just wish… I wish I had listened to them. Then again, if I had listened to them, I wouldn't have Jonathan or Will. My life would have possibly been more stable, or easier, but I wouldn't have the two of them and I wouldn't change them for the world."

"I want to have that one day," I admit, stopping to light another cigarette; I throw her the pack, knowing she's running low on hers. I don't have two sons to take care of; I can afford giving her a couple of smokes. "And I… I don't mean kids. I mean, I'm too young to know if I even want them, not to mention how I am… years away from ever being ready to plan them. But I just… I want to make a choice in life that I can stand behind. Any kind of choice, anything at all but something that will have my full attention and… I want to not have that question on my mind."

"Have I done it all wrong? Is this how it's supposed to be? Was all of this a mistake?" Joyce offers.

"Exactly," I nod my head. "Whether it's kids, a husband, school or a job, I just… I don't want to question myself about it. I want to know that any other option would be bad, worse, a disaster."

"What do you want to be, Tina?" she asks me. Wow, I was not expecting that question. "When high school is over and you have that choice before you, what do you want to pick?"

"I don't know," I answer honestly. "I think I will go to school. I suppose that's my plan."

"And what do you want to study?"

"I… I don't know."

Did my existential crisis really need to deepen? My life has suddenly turned into shit and now I have to face the fact that I don't know what the hell I want to do with my life? Yeah, really, it can't get much worse than this. And if by some miracle it can, I'd really rather not test it.

"It's… it's okay not to know."

"Is it?" I ask; she just cornered me and asked me what I want to be. Why would she be asking if she thinks it's okay for me not to have an answer?

"I think it is, yes," she nods her head. "I do have a piece of advice to you. Not as an adult to a teenager but as… a woman to a woman. Don't get married, not right after high school."

"But you did that," I say, as if she needed reminding. "And you said you don't regret it."

"I don't," she chuckles. "But you're not me, Tina. You're… you're a lot like Jonathan. There's more in you than there ever was in me. You just… you seem like a person that could do a lot. You are one of those people that… seem like people that could change the world for the better. I never was one of those."

"Joyce…"

"No, that's okay," she shakes her head. "Not all people are meant to do that. I was… I was meant to be a mom. A darn good mom, if I say so myself," she adds and I chuckle along with her. "But you, missy, are meant for more. So do more. Don't marry and have babies right out of high school. Do things and then focus on family if you feel like it. Don't let… a small town swallow you whole. And whatever you do, don't let a man pull you down. Just… it's not worth it. Even if it's… true love, it's still not worth it."

"Men are bullshit."

"Well…" Joyce sighs, stopping to think about it for a moment. "Yeah, they kind of are."

"Even the good ones." I add.

"Even the good ones." She confirms.

"Okay… let's not do this, okay," I say as I get out of the blanket burrito I have made out of myself; I put the blanket down on the chair. "We are not going to feel down. Both of us have felt down long enough. We're not gonna feel like that anymore. We'll do something else."

"What?" Joyce asks and I have to laugh at the genuine worried look she has on her face.

"We're going to dance the sorrow away."

* * *

Even when Joyce invited me over, I didn't exactly think we would do this. Even when I suggested that we should do this, I didn't expect it too… go so far beyond the limit.

It went so far beyond the limit, I can't even see the limit from where I'm standing.

I am dancing around to Donna Summer with my ex best friend's mom. With a 40-something-year-old woman. A 40-something and a teenager. And we are laughing our asses off.

"I forgot how tiring this can be!"

"It's not tiring if you're having fun," I remind her as I continue to jump around her living room. I notice that she had stopped dancing, trying to catch her breath. "No, no stopping."

"But I can't!" she whines.

"No way. Come on Joyce!" I urge her, making her laugh. "Come on," I grab her hand and to her credit, she does start dancing again. I dance along, occasionally laughing at the moves she makes; I suppose they were popular back when she was my age. "Come on Joyce, shake it like you mean it!"

I close my eyes and I imagine that I'm in… 'Studio 54' or something. The night is young and so am I; I have nothing to worry about. Not ex best friends, not school, not even Chewbacca Halloween costumes. Nothing, just me and a good song. And Joyce, dancing along with me.

"Dance all that crap away Joyce, that's the only thing we can do," I laugh. She doesn't respond and I open my eyes, ready to get her dancing again but… she's looking away. "Someone's here, right?" I mumble, already knowing that someone else is in the house and judging by my luck…

Yup, it's Jonathan. He's standing at the front door, looking at me wide-eyed.

"Are you two drunk?"

"Of course not!" Joyce snaps before I have a chance to. "I might be… I wouldn't get a teenager drunk."

"Well, I'm sorry but can you blame me for asking?" he asks her.

Nah, this is too much for my taste. I grab my bag from the table and walk over to Joyce. "Joyce, thank you for everything. I have to go now," I say as I pull her in for a hug. "Take care, okay?"

"Come on, stay around for a bit longer," Joyce sighs. "Will hasn't come home yet, he wants to see you."

"I'm sorry Joyce, I can't," I shake my head, knowing that I can't stay in this house for a minute longer, not while he's here. "Tell him I'll come by some other day. Hug him for me, okay?" I ask and when she finally nods, I make my way towards the door, ready to pass by him.

"Tina, wait."

"No, Jonathan, I really don't want to talk."

"Tina, wait."

"Jonathan!" Joyce snaps behind me and I use the moment to walk past him and out on the porch. "If she doesn't want to talk, you can't make her! Don't talk to a girl like that, ever!"

"No, Joyce, it's okay," I smile back at her, not wanting the idiot to get into trouble with his mom. "Just tell Will I said 'hi'."

I march away, hoping I am fast enough to make my escape if he decides to follow me. I walk as fast as I can without breaking into a run.

What is wrong with me? First, I was so angry that we aren't talking at all and now he actually tries to talk to me and what do I do? I run out of the house, very literally.

I am seriously disappointed for someone who was hoping that he wouldn't run after me.

Teen feet away from the main road, that's how close I am to my escape when I heard a car behind me. I don't stop and I don't turn around but it takes him just a couple of seconds to catch up with me; he drives next to me, trying to slow down and match my pace.

"Jonathan, please, I don't want to talk."

"Neither do I but don't you think we have to?"

"Why the hell would you force yourself to talk to me if you don't want to talk?" I snap.

"Just because it's not going to be particularly enjoyable doesn't mean that it isn't the right thing to do!"

"Well, please don't put yourself through that if it's not 'particularly enjoyable'!"

"I didn't mean… Please, stop! Just for like… a minute! Tina, please!" He snaps. I never heard him yell like that and that's why I stop. He wasn't expecting it and he smashes the breaks when he realizes that I have actually stopped. He jumps through the door, leaving the car to run.

"You have… you have 20 seconds."

"I don't even need that much because all I want to tell you is that I miss my best friend!" he snaps. I look away from him; can't face him, no way. Not doe eyes and dimples. "You're my best friend. My only friend. And it sucks when you don't talk to your best friend."

"I know."

"Look, let's…" he starts. I can't blame him for not knowing which words to use. The only reason why I haven't started this conversation myself is because I wouldn't know what to say. "If you… If you want to pretend like that dance had never even happened, I'll be happy to do that. We can… we can just leave it all behind and just… I don't want to not have my best friend. I could do it. I could and so could you. Life would… go back to what it once was. But I don't want that. It just… it sucks."

This is what I wanted. We didn't have to continue what had started that night, not as long he stays a part of my life in one shape or form. I don't need it to work. I'm not madly in love with him. He's not the first or the last boy I will ever kiss. I didn't plan out our fucking wedding in my head. I didn't need that to work, I just needed him back, in whichever way he wants to be back.

And yet it still fucking hurts.

I'm not… good enough, I suppose? Pretty enough, funny enough, kind enough? Or I'm a horrible kisser? It could be anything but there has to be a reason and I'm going to have to live with that. Which wouldn't be nearly as difficult if I didn't need him in my life as much as I think I do.

"Alright," I sigh. I'll take it. I'll… I'll take what's fucking offered. Steve told me not to let him know that he has such power, if he's that guy. And I'm practically waving the information into his face. I'm… I'm taking breadcrumbs, that's what I'm doing. And the worst part is, I actually think that it's worth it. "We… we tried. We did… we did something that we… very obviously shouldn't have done. If you want to leave that behind… can you pretend like it had never happened?"

Can he really? Because I don't know if I can. I'm ready to try but I don't know how successful it will be.

"If that means we are friends again, then yes."

Wow, he… he really hates the thought of it, doesn't he. I wish we never became friends in the first place.

"Okay, we're leaving it behind and we're never talking about it again," I sigh, offering him my hand. "Deal?" I ask and within a second, he shakes my hand.

"Deal."

"Tina?"

I look around, noticing Will on his bicycle, beaming. He jumps of the bike and lets it fall down on the ground; he runs to me and before I knew it, he hits me, full speed, hugging me with all the strength his tiny arms had in them. Yup, I'm melting away.

"Whoa there, easy little guy." I chuckle as I ruffle his hair.

"I've missed you."

"It's been like… a week."

"Too long," he corrects me. This time around, I hug him. God, I don't think I've ever met a more adorable child. Although, Dustin could give him a run for his money. Maybe even Mike and Lucas too, although they are too… well-spoken for their age to be considered adorable. Nah, they're all adorable. I can't take any of them seriously. "Are you going to be coming over again?" he asks.

I don't know which one of them is worst, both with their doe eyes. It's not helping that Jonathan is looking me in the 'well, are you?' kind of way.

"Yeah, I will." I sigh. At this point, I'm starting to think that I can be guilt into doing pretty much anything. At least when it comes to my friends. It's about time I call Will a friend, isn't it?

"Are you staying for dinner?" Will asks. "Come on, we can watch a movie afterwards. Come on." he urges me but he turns to his brother. Will might be a kid but he's old enough to know that something was way off before. After all, he knows Jonathan had been ignoring my calls.

"Stay." Jonathan nods his head.

"Fine," I sigh, knowing I can't fight them both on it. "I'll stay, I'll stay."

"Go on, ride the bike and Tina and I will follow you."

It would be pretty stupid to say that things are just going to… go back to what they used to be in a matter of seconds. I still feel pretty awkward and I think he does too. It's probably going to take us a few days to get back into it, or to get used to the slight change. Either way, it's better than what it was yesterday. At least now, I won't feel the need to run away whenever he's in the room. And I also won't have to fight the urge to stay; I'll just… stay.

"So… you and my mom had a dance party?"

"Shut up."

"Oh no, I'm not judging," he tries to defend himself but when I look at him, I can see that he's fighting a smile. "I get it. You wanted to let loose and so did she. Both of you have great dance moves."

"Jonathan, shut up."

"No, really, you should probably go out together sometimes."

"Jonathan, if you don't shut up, I swear to god, I'll jump out of this moving car and you'll have to explain to your brother that I'm not staying for dinner." I warn him; I don't think he can push me that far but if he keeps on trying…

"Alright, alright!" he agrees.

"Thank you."

"So… Donna Summer, huh?"

"God I fucking hate you."

It takes me… a few seconds to start laughing with him.

I do hate him, on some level. Nah, not him. I hate him knowing me so well. He can annoy me without even trying, he can make me laugh without even trying and I'm pretty sure he can hurt me without even trying.

Steve's right. Being in a relationship is you giving someone power to hurt you and trusting them that they won't do that. It can be applied in friendship too.

I don't think we could handle another bump like this one. I don't… I don't see myself going through all of this again, only for him to hurt my feelings. Or for me to hurt his. He's not the bad guy when we both screwed up.

I need to make it not hurt me. I don't know how but it needs to happen if I plan to continue being his friend. And I really fucking want to be his friend.

* * *

 **1) Joni Mitchel – A case of you (sulky Tina)**

 **2) Donna Summer – Bad girls (Joyce and Tina dance party)**

 **3) [Stranger Things 2] Outside the Realm - Big Giant Circles feat. Ashly Burch & Malukah (I listen to this one all the time but in this chapter, I see it as a background when they agree to be friends. It'll make an appearance in the next chapter too! :) )**


	8. Love Is A Battlefield

**Here we go guys!  
I can't believe this, almost 100 followers! I'm over the freaking moon!  
Thank you, thank you, thank you! Here's your playlist for this chapter:**

 **1)Kool and the Gang – Jungle Boogie**  
 **2) [Stranger Things 2] Outside the Realm - Big Giant Circles feat. Ashly Burch & Malukah (HINT: Tina's alone scene in the Byers house)**  
 **3) Rick Springfield - Jessie's Girl**  
 **4) Pat Benatar - Love is a Battlefield**

 **As always, don't forget to let me know what you think! With Halloween around the corner in this story, we're a couple of chapters away from canon and that's… well, that's not going to go well for Tina, let me tell you that.**

 **I hope you enjoy the chapter! Thank you for reading! Love ya! :)**

* * *

The plan was simple; lunch at their place and then taking the kids to my place. Perfect plan, without a chance of something going wrong. No, not with my luck. Despite the day being sunny and warm, by the time I was halfway to the Byers house, with another… 15 minutes of walking before me and 15 minutes of walking behind me, the sky had opened up and I was soaking wet within seconds.

I couldn't go back now, it would be stupid. I could just… keep on walking and cursing.

It does catch me by surprise when I see Jonathan's Ford driving my way; I thought to wave at him or something but I don't, as he turns the car around. I already start to think that I've lost him but he starts driving in reverse. I start laughing because at this point, what the hell am I supposed to do?

The car stops right next to me but I don't see Will from all the rain, not until he opens the window. "We thought you needed a rescue." He beams up at me.

"Yeah, you were right about that," I laugh as he climbs into the backseat and I hop into the car, probably ruin Jonathan's seats; I'm soaking. I'm not getting away from a flue, not after this one. "Thanks guys."

"Don't mention it," Jonathan shakes his head as he starts driving. "Sorry it took us this long."

"Nah, I'm just glad you found me, I could have taken a different road," I mumble. I couldn't have, not really. I always take this road, whether it's when Jonathan drives me or when I'm walking. They knew that. "What the hell is wrong with this weather? It was so sunny just… minutes ago!"

"Life isn't always fair," Will mumbles from the backseat, causing both Jonathan and I to laugh; well, isn't that one true. "Guys, what's this song?"

"Oh, my sweet child, this is "Jungle Boogie" by 'Kool and the Gang', the best song ever," I laugh, turning around to see Will's reaction to this. He seems to like the song, even nodding his head to the rhythm. "You wouldn't know that with your 'Clash' loving brother, would you?"

"Hey, what's wrong with 'The Clash'?" Jonathan gets all defensive.

"Absolutely nothing," I lift my hands up. "I'm just saying, you should let Will develop his own tastes. As an older brother, your job is to open the door of amazingly good music to him and _then_ let him decide what his thing is and what's not."

"Are you trying to say that I'm not doing a good job?" Jonathan laughs.

"Guys, please…"

"No, you're doing a great job but you're… you're doing a limited job. And I think Will needs to be exposed to a more… versatile mix. You know, maybe someone around is more knowledgeable than you are, at least when it comes to music." I say; I'm not even sure how much of it is a joke or not. At least he's smiling.

"So you want to be the one that gets to musically educate _my_ brother?" he laughs.

"All I'm saying is, guy is missing out on some good funk," I shrug. "It's your call Byers."

"Alright, oh, knowledgeable master," he rolls his eyes. "Expose him to funk and whatever else."

"Thank you," I laugh. "Kid, we're going to listen to Jackson tomorrow."

"As long as you two don't argue about it."

"Oh honey, look at you!" Joyce sighs when I walk into her house and immediately make a small pond in the hallway; water is still dripping from me. "Jonathan, find her something to wear, I'll bring the blow-dryer." She mumbles, already running around the house in the search of it. Will immediately runs off to join his friends down in his room; god knows what they are up to. I follow Jonathan into his room and wait as he rummages around his closet in search for my improvised outfit.

"Here, try this," he throws me a piece of clothing which I manage to catch. "I'm going to look if mom has some old jeans or sweatpants, mine would be too big on you."

"Thanks," I smile at him as he walks out of the room. And here I am, about to wear his clothes again. The universe must be giving me a middle finger. With a sigh, I take off my shirt and throw it on his bed; he gave me a sweater, which is a good call, seeing as I'm freezing. I can't wear it. I just… can't.

I sit down on his bed and sigh, letting the doubt take over me again. I've been trying to act as if it's all okay and while I'm one hell of an actor… that's the problem, isn't it? I'm acting. It's all one big act, me trying to pretend like things are the same as they were before. And Jonathan, he's acting too. And he's not as good at it as I am. Looking at his sweater in my hands, I wonder for how long we'll be able to keep it up. And if we… if we can't keep it up, then what? What do we do then? Do we go back to not talking?

"I found the jeans," I haven't realized that he had returned from the room and I throw that sweater over my head in the speed of light; at least I wasn't facing him, wearing just my bra and drenched jeans. "And the blow drier's in the bathroom. I'll leave you to it." he mumbles and I hear the door close.

Nope, I'm not going to cry. I'm done with crying about stupid things. I don't need it to be more than it is now. This is good. It's not as good as it once was but it is good. It definitely can't get any better. I won't cry about it and I sure as hell won't let him see me cry about it.

Yeah, just because I don't want to cry doesn't mean that I won't cry. A couple of tears fell down my cheeks as I was drying my hair, the blow drier pushing the traces of cologne from his sweater right into my nose. It was clean but it still smelled like him. Fuck, I really need to get my act together.

"Those jeans look better on you than they have ever looked on me!" Joyce laughs when she sees me as I join them at the table; all of them were waiting for me before they've decided to dig into the lunch. "Keep them, I don't even know if I fit in them anymore."

"You sure?" I ask and she just nods her head. "I might. They're cool. Vintage."

"Oh Jesus, I guess that makes me vintage too." Joyce chuckles, looking down at her plate. I don't know what's wrong with us today but we all seem a bit off. It's surprisingly quiet, even with 4 kids. I guess that today just isn't our day. I don't know what excuse they have but… hell, even Jonathan is very quiet.

"Tina, how are we gonna go back home from your place?" Dustin speaks up, breaking the silence. "We don't have our bikes with us. Jonathan will drive us there, but what about later?" he asks.

"I could wait and drive you back home?" Jonathan offers. "I don't have to work today."

"No, it's not a problem," I smile and shake my head. "I'll borrow Steve's or mom's car and I'll drop them off. I'm not going to make you run around in this kind of weather, will I?"

"I don't know, it looks like it's clearing up." Lucas comments while leaning over to look at the window.

"Well, you know what they say," Joyce beams up. "Sunshine comes after every storm."

Yeah, sunshine comes after every storm, my ass.

* * *

"I think it looks good!" Will breaks the very, very uncomfortable silence.

Dustin is parading the costume before us and it has to be the worst Chewbacca costume in the history of Chewbacca costumes. And no one has the heart to say it out loud, not with all the effort that went into it. I can even see it on Mom's face; she knows it's not good enough but she did as best as she could. Will did try to reassure us all but that was the worst executed lie I was ever witness to; I need to teach that kid how to lie. He's never going to make it if what he just said was his best shop.

"I like it!" Dustin announces proudly. Now, he can lie.

"It's… totally realistic." Lucas confirms. Hmm, that one can pass as a solid lie.

"Everyone will know you're Chewbacca." Mike nods his head eagerly; his words aren't compelling but the look on his face is; a bystander would think that he's _super_ excited about the whole costume thing.

"Wow, you're awfully nice for a bunch of 12-year-olds," Steve makes us all jump up, as we didn't even know he was in the house. But no, he's leaning on the living room door, looking at the scene before him. "If he's supposed to be Chewbacca, the costume is awful."

I'm going to make him pay for it. Not because he pointed out the obvious, hell no; you can see from a plane that the costume is a disaster! I'm going to kill him from saying that in front of mom, who had spent _hours_ working on the costume to help me and to make sure Dustin's happy.

"Hey!" Dustin snaps; I look at him in surprise. He even looks feisty. "Don't insult my costume! Tina and Mrs. Harrington put in a lot of hard work into it!"

I have never seen anyone other than me act towards my brother in that way. I'm impressed.

"I'm not insulting their work," Steve shrugs. "I'm just pointing out that you don't look like Chewbacca."

"Steve's right," I sigh, not wanting to be witness of four 12-year-olds physically attacking my brother, even if that would be one hell of a sight. "We did the best we could but it's not good enough. I can't let you wear that kid," I mumble. I didn't want to say it like that, not in front of mom, but… no. Dustin won't be able to pull it off, no matter how cute he is. "I promised to buy you a costume if I screw it up and I'm sticking to my promise."

"No way," Dustin shakes his head. "No. I'd rather wear a shitty Chewbacca costume that you made than some store bought… poor replacement."

"Dustin, that is very sweet of you to say," mom speaks up to rescue the situation. "Although I must remind you not to use the language you've probably managed to pick up from my daughter," she gives me a pointed look. Of course it's my fault that 12-year-olds curse! Who else could it be? "But Steve and Tina are… right. You don't look like Chebacka. I think you should let Tina fix this."

"I hope you know that I won't forgive myself for this if you don't let me fix it." I add; I'm not even joking. Guilt works wonders on me. It would eat me out alive, to know that this poor boy has his Halloween night ruined because I meddled into something that was none of my business to begin with. I wouldn't forgive myself for it. Not to mention that I've been through middle school; that shit can be hard. If kids make fun of his costume… nah, I'm not having it. "Who's gonna drive, me or you?" I turn to my brother.

"What?"

"I'm taking them to the mall," I elaborate. "Are you going to take us there or are you going to borrow me your car?" I ask. He gives me a weird look before throwing me his keys. I manage to catch them, despite not having good reflexes at all. "Dusting, get out of that. The rest of you, get into the car and wait for me." I say, giving Lucas the car keys. They listen to me at once; it takes Dustin just a couple of seconds to get out of the costume and moments later, they're all outside.

"Tina," mom walks over to me. "You can't do that. You can't bring all four of them and buy just one costume. It's not fair to the rest of the boys, no matter what you have promised Dustin."

"I know," I nod my head, confusing her even more. "That's why I'm going to pay for all of their costumes."

"There goes your car money." Steve points out.

"I know and I'm doing it."

I'm not going to spend my whole savings; I'm just going to have to work for a little longer than I was originally hoping for. It's not… it's not a choice. I'm not letting those Dustin go with a shitty costume and I'm not going to make the rest feel left out. Besides… I don't know about the financial situation of Lucas, Dustin and Mike's families but I know that Joyce isn't doing too well at the moment; both she and Jonathan are working whenever they can.

Kids shouldn't notice shit like that. My family never had money problems, save for that one time when Dad's firm was in a crisis for a couple of months; not much had changed back then but it was enough for me to notice. It's bad, it sucks and no one can avoid it. But kids should be left out of that.

I don't have mouths to feed and all of their parents do. I'm not going to pay for their college tuition; I'm just buying them costumes! I'll survive, they'll have the coolest costumes ever and maybe, just maybe, this will go down as the best Halloween of their lives. And their parents won't have to struggle to pay for it, or live with the guilt of not giving them what they had wanted for this one night of the year.

"Tina, that's… that's a lovely thing to do." Mom tells me and despite her poker face, I can see a hint of pride there, a look that says 'despite her cursing, I did raise her well'.

"An angel will grow wings."

I don't want to be thanked or praised for it. I'm just doing it and that's it. I'm not expecting gratitude from anyone. If I manage to make those kids smile, that'll be good enough for me.

"Fill the tank!" Steve yells after me as I walk out of the house.

"I always do, asshole!" I yell, jumping into his car; I can see in the review mirror that all four of the boys look excited and a little bit confused. "Buckle up."

"Where are we going?" Will asks me.

"We're going costume shopping," I say; I thought that one was pretty obvious. Ugh, kids. "And guess what? All four of you are getting costumes."

Yup, to see four faces beam up… fuck the car money. I'll get it somehow.

* * *

"Why wouldn't you be Jabba the Hutt?"

"Because no!" Mike yells. "No one in their right mind would want to be Jabba the Hutt!"

"Why not?" Dustin insists.

"Guys, easy," I say as we walk towards the store; I did not consider how shopping with four boys would end up being a tiring expedition, and we haven't even started. "There are plenty of characters to choose from. Chewbacca's the only one that's taken. Just don't fight over who gets to be who, alright?"

Oh, wishful thinking. Five minutes into the costume shopping, Dustin was sitting next to me, with a Chewbacca costume in his hands, Will on my other side, all three of us watching as Lucas and Mike bickered about which one will get to be Luke. I definitely should have seen this one coming.

"Guys… guys… guys," I try, but all they do is ignore me. "Guys!" I snap, finally getting their attention. "You need to chill and you need to make a decision."

"No, this is a democracy," Lucas shakes his head. "It's not going to be fair either way, one of us will have to pay for it and no one is going to back down." He tells me, with Mike nodding. Funny, how easily they can agree on that but not on which one of them is going to be Luke fucking Skywalker.

"Alright, here's what we're going to do," I sigh, standing up. I'm going to use the parenting technique I have learned from my dad, called 'the accident'. "I'm going to turn around and I'm going to close my eyes. Dustin will be my witness that my eyes weren't open. The two of you will stand next to each other, one to the left and the other one to the right. Feel free to mix it up. Will is going to call out "stop" and you will stop. He will be your witness that you haven't moved. I'm going to say "left" or "right", and whoever's on the side I chose, he'll be Luke Skywalker. That's how democracy works; let others choose."

"That's a good idea guys." Dustin and Will both nod their heads.

"Fine," Mike agrees. "But no peaking!"

"Yeah, like I don't know any better," I roll my eyes and turn around. I close them and I listen on as the two of them… run around each other or something. Do parents feel like complete idiots all the time? I can see that being the case but then again, most parents don't have to deal with 4 boys of the same age at the same time. "How long are we going to do this?" I sigh; it's already taking them too long.

"Stop!" Will calls out.

"Good. Left," I respond, turning around to see Lucas beaming, as he's the chosen one. I've got to hand it to Mike, he took his defeat like a champ, even shaking Lucas's hand, as if he had won some sort of competition. "Alright, now we just need to find you a costume."

"And you." Will adds.

"Nah, I'm good," I smile, reaching out for one of the Leia outfits. "See? Not much of a choice for a girl, right ? Now, the two of you. Will, who do you want to be?" I ask him.

"Darth Vader."

"Are you sure about that?" I ask him. How many kids want to be the bad guy?

"Yes," he laughs. "He's a bad guy but he's cool. It would be cool to be a bit dark." He shrugs.

"Suit yourself," I laugh. "Go, pick it out. We'll brainstorm for Mike's costume," I instruct him and he runs away, looking for the Darth Vader masks. I'll probably have to sell my kidney to get a car but hey, that angel sure as hell is going to get its wings. "Now, you," I frown at Mike. "Han Solo?" I suggest.

"No, no way," he laughs. "Han and Leia like each other and you're going to be Leia."

"Mike, you're not going to be my date for the party," I roll my eyes at his antics. "There's going to be… like 50 Leias in Hawkins. Don't let that stop you from being Han Solo if you want to be Han Solo."

"Nope. No Han. Not for me."

"Fine? Obi Wan Kenobi?" I offer, only for him to shake his head. "R2D2?" I ask and he declines again.

"What about Yoda?" Lucas suggests.

"The height works." Dustin adds and I have to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing.

"Yeah, I can work with Yoda."

"Perfect. Now pick out your sizes and let's get out of here before I lose my shit."

* * *

I think I might have enough cash for the car before I graduate. If all goes by plan. Maybe I can try to work five days a week, instead of four? I guess I could make that work.

"Thanks for the costume Tina!" Mike yells out as he closes the door behind him.

"Well bud, it's just you and me," I smile in the rearview mirror to Will, who has a big grin plastered on his face. "What do you say, should we start that music education course?"

"Sure."

It always bugged me how Jonathan lives far from the center of town; far from me, far from everything else. But now, with a solid 20 minute drive, I had a chance to spend time with Will and teach him some good music. I all but wished that I can have a bit more time with him for this.

"So? What's the call on Rick Springfield?" I ask; he's nodding his head in the rhythm of the song, holding tightly onto his Darth Vader mask.

"Do you like this song?" he asks me.

"Yeah, I guess I do."

"And Jonathan? Does he like it?"

"I think he does," I chuckle. "I don't think he'd ever admit to it though. It's a guilty pleasure for both."

"A guilty pleasure?" Will asks in confusion.

"A guilty pleasure song is a song that you really like, but… you don't want to admit to it. Like, you listen to it when no one is around and you play it as loud as you can, dancing around your room like crazy."

"I've seen Jonathan do that," Will laughs. "Mom too."

"We all do it," I nod my head. "You'll do it too, when you learn which music you like and don't like. Rick Springfield is cool, but there's better stuff. However, that's for me to inform you and you to decide. Just because Jonathan likes Clash doesn't mean you have to like Clash too. Just because I scream to "Jessie's Girl" doesn't mean it should be your favorite too."

"But what if I like everything?" Will asks me, dead serious. "I mean, I like the music Jonathan plays. I like the music you listen to. Can I like everything?"

"Of course you can," I chuckle. "That's the best thing ever. You can sing along, dance to everything. Ah, see, this is a good song," I smile and I turn up the volume. "Pat Benatar is amazing!" I yell over the music. In a matter of moments, I start singing along to the song. I can hear Will laughing behind me but that's good. If he sees what music can do to you, he will appreciate it. He doesn't have to like Pat Benatar, as long as he finds a song he can act silly to, kind of like I am doing now.

"Tina, is love really a battlefield?" he asks.

The smart thing would be to tell him that Pat makes it out to be a bit more difficult than it actually is. Then again, I'm still wearing a sweater that belongs to a boy I made out with, only to have him pretend like it had never happened. You can't really understand it until it happens to you. I don't have to say that to the kid but I can't lie to him either; he'd remember it. I'm fairly certain he would remember me reassuring him the first time he gets his heart broken. Smelling Jonathan's cologne on me isn't helping.

"Yup, it kind of is," I nod my head, deciding to go with a mild version of the truth. "It sucks."

"Jonathan told me that love hurts."

Well, isn't that the truth?!

"Yeah, it does."

Now I'm glad we don't get more than 20 minutes. I park the car in their driveway before Will gets to ask me another awkward question. He runs out of the car before I even get a chance to open the door; he runs straight into the house with his Darth mask and as I walk into the house, I can hear him telling Joyce how I was a super cool friend and how I got them all costumes.

"Oh, Tina," Joyce sighs when she notices me on the front door. "You shouldn't have done that."

"Yeah but I wanted to." I shrug. I am ready for her hug and I smile when she squeezes me a bit too tight. She knows that I know. With the bills she has to pay, she wouldn't be able to buy that mask for Will and she knows that's one of the reasons I've decided to buy it for him. But I really don't want to be praised for that, I already feel uncomfortable as it is.

"Thank you." she mumbles as she slowly pulls away from the hug.

"Don't worry about it," I chuckle. "I've got a pair of cool vintage jeans in exchange, haven't I?"

"Please don't call them vintage," she laughs. "Do you want to stay for dinner?"

"No, I told mom I'd be back as soon as I drop them off. I'm just going to take my clothes and give the sweater back to Jonathan," I explain as I make my way through the hallway. "Easy!" I warn Will as he runs out of Jonathan's room and into his own, carrying that Vader mask as if it was golden. I am still laughing when I walk into Jonathan's room.

"You bought them all costumes?" he asks with an amused look on his face. Hmmm, amused or confused? I can't tell. With him, it really is a guessing game.

"What can I say, I felt like their fairy godmother." I shrug as I walk over to the radiator beneath the window, where my T shirt was sprawled out. I feel it up; yup, it's dry.

"If it's still wet, you can keep the sweater," Jonathan offers. "Or if you don't have a jacket."

"I don't have it but I took Steve's car," I sigh as I open the closet door and stand behind it; he can't see me from where he's sitting and I really don't feel like running around the house, acting like some sort of prude; I'll hardly be naked and we already know he's not interested in watching. "It was worth it, you know. Seeing the look on their faces when they realized that they'll have mega cool Halloween costumes."

"I get that but… you always talk about how you can't wait to have your own car."

"Oh, that's still the truth," I laugh as I close the closet door and start folding up his sweater. "I can't wait for the day to come when I'll have my own car and quit that fucking job in that fucking store," I sigh, knowing that day won't come for a while. "But I've only postponed it for like a month or so. I'll live and they'll have great costumes. Speaking of Halloween, are you still up for that party at Melissa's?"

"I am but…"

"Jonathan, now what?" I sigh. Every single time, whenever there's a party, he either tries to find an excuse or he successfully finds it. I haven't managed to drag him out to a single one. The only time he was invested into it was when he wanted to go to the dance and that one did not end well.

"I have to take Will trick-or-treating," he shrugs. "It's kind of like our thing. And this year, I'm the older siblings that takes care of the group. It was Nancy last year and I'm pretty sure that this year, she's going to be at Melissa's with your brother."

"No one's asking you to ditch Will," I roll my eyes. "Hell, if you don't feel like doing it, I'll do it. But show up at the party later. Her parents are out of town, free booze… why the fuck not?" I shrug.

"I'd rather not show up there without you, seeing as I wasn't actually invited." He points out.

"Fine, then I'll be here earlier, we'll take them trick-or-treating and we'll go to the party when we drop them off home. The world will still keep spinning and you'll be out of your comfort zone," I laugh as I throw the sweater to him, despite folding it just moments ago. "And think of a costume, Byers. You're not passing as the guy who hates parties anymore."

"Lunch break in the dark room?"

"Of course, Byers!" I yell as I walk out of his room.

* * *

"Your car is in one piece, the tank is full, the kids will have great costumes and I will work for a month or two longer." I announce as I throw Steve the car keys and take my place at the dinner table. Again, it's him, mom and me. Dad's too busy working, just like he always is.

I don't think I'd be surprised if we ever found out that he's staying longer in the office on purpose. If I didn't know how uninterested he was in literally everything, I'd think he was cheating on mom but dad… he wouldn't even have the will to do that. Work, food, business trips, newspapers, basketball and an occasional, obligatory chat with his family; that's dad in a nutshell.

"I don't think you will," mom tells me as she puts pees on my plate. Steve and I exchange a look. "I wasn't supposed to say anything, but since you've turned 16, I've been bugging your father to finally get you a car. You'll have one by Christmas." She adds with a smile.

"I'll believe it when I see it," I laugh. "And if I see it, I'll be sure to thank you."

"So he's back to buying love and affection, is he?" Steve asks. Well, I share his opinions. I would love to be ecstatic and grateful, but for one, I don't believe it will actually happen and two, if it does happen, it's literally what Steve called it: buying love and affection.

"Steven!"

"Hey Steve, come on," I laugh. "Sure, we don't get love, attention, or anything like that but at least I'll have a car, right?"

"Kids, don't…"

"Mom, _you_ don't," Steve stops her. "We're no longer kids. You don't have to defend him, not when we can see it for ourselves. Don't waste your words, or your time."

Just another dinner in the Harrington household where the silence says more than words ever could.

I won't become my mother. Small town, working husband and two kids only one year apart in age… that's not going to be me. I'll never let a man treat me like father treats her. I'll never…

Based on my role models and my only experience with any kind of affection backfiring on me, maybe it would be better if I stay single for life? Become one of those women everyone frowns at, one of those "free spirits" as the elders call them in disapproval.

Hell, that's better than what mom has. She only has Steve and me and let's face, we aren't much.

* * *

 **1)Kool and the Gang – Jungle Boogie (drive with Jonathan, Tina and Will)**

 **2) [Stranger Things 2] Outside the Realm - Big Giant Circles feat. Ashly Burch & Malukah (Tina changing, moment with Jonathan, crying)**

 **3) Rick Springfield - Jessie's Girl (drive with Will)**

 **4) Pat Benatar - Love is a Battlefield (drive with Will)**


	9. I Want You Around

**WE ARE OVER 100! Aaaaa! I am so happy!**

 **And I will keep on writing, full speed because I LOVE IT! :D Thank you for your reviews, they really mean a lot! :)**

 **1)Van Halen – Ain't talking 'bout love  
2)ACDC – You shook me all night long  
3)The Ramones - I want you around  
4) Cyndi Lauper – Girls just wanna have fun  
5) Joan Jett & the Blackhearts – I love rock and roll**

 **It's time for the Halloween chapter and I hope you like it.  
Follow, favorite and pretty please, review! **

**Let me know what you think! A new update will be up tomorrow! ;)**

* * *

I should have bought the damned wig. I knew I should have bought the damned wig but no, of course not, I wanted to be smart and hardworking and make the buns myself. Like most of my choice, I am regretting this one as well. Even with the littlest things, I make the biggest mistakes. At least I did not take it upon myself to sew my costume; that would have been a whole different level of disastrous.

At least the outfit is on point. I didn't go overboard with make-up but if I don't manage to make Leia's buns work, I am screwed. I thought it'd be easier but yeah, I really should have bought that wig.

"Tina!" I hear a yell from downstairs. "Keep the volume down!" Mom yells, from the top of her lungs.

"Fine!" I yell back, only lowering the volume a little; you can't listen to Van Halen with the volume down; that should be considered sacrilege. It takes me a solid minute to finally make the left bun; I need hairspray. I need like… two cans of it, if I plan to make those buns stick for longer than a few hours. Of course, where else do I go looking for my hairspray than in my brother's room? "Steve, if you're going to steal hairspray from me, at least have the decency to return it when…" I stop as I march into his room and see him. "What the hell are you wearing?" I manage to utter.

"Don't you get it?" he asks, looking at me in disappointment. Ah, the utter fear of Halloween: will they know who I am? "I'm Magnum P.I.!"

"Okay, Steve, I hate to break it to you but you don't… you don't look like Tom Selleck, you look like Steve Harrington with a fake mustache and a Hawaiian shirt."

"Oh, excuse me Carrie Fisher," he goes all defensive on me, which only makes me want to laugh at him more; I can't take him seriously, not when he has a moustache taped on him. "I'm doing what I can!"

"Okay, you keep on doing that," I force a smile, not wanting to make it a fight, even if I have endless material to tease him for this… outfit. "Give me back my hairspray; I can't go around with one bun."

"It's in the bathroom," he tells me. "Be ready in 10 if you want me to drive you."

"In 10?!" I ask in shock. "No way Steve, I can't be ready in 10."

"Well, you're walking then."

"Steve, don't be a dick, I can't walk around the town dressed as Leia!"

"Then be ready in 10." He offers me an angelic smile, which I respond to with a middle finger.

"Magnum my ass!" I yell as I resume my search for the hairspray. I don't have time for him and his drama. I literally don't have time because there's no way I can be ready in 10. Absolutely no way.

* * *

I wasn't ready in 10. I made Steve wait because as his little sister, I have every right to do so.

"This is where he lives?" Steve mumbles when he parks in front of the Byers driveway; I can see how he's assessing the house before him and how he's not impressed with it. I don't know how I can be wired so… differently to him and Dad. Even mom, I'm sure she'd have the same look on her face. Am I the only one that doesn't fucking care what kind of house he has?

"God, you're such a jackass even when you're not trying."

"I'm just asking!" he lifts his arms up in surrender.

"Yeah, but all the things unsaid are completely obvious," I snap back at him. "I don't care what kind of house they have when they're good people."

"Yeah, obviously," he laughs. The moment he sees the look on my face, I can see that he's regretting his lame ass joke. "Tina, come on, I was just…" I cut him off by slamming the door after me. His precious little car can take the hit instead of him. And just in case my message wasn't clear enough, I give him the middle finger. He still has a guilty look on his face but by the time I'm on the Byers' porch, he's already driving away. He'll sleep in peace, I'm sure of it. And I have other things to worry about. "Hello!" I call out as I walk into the house; I've stopped knocking a few weeks ago. "Guys where are you?" I yell, trying to overpower 'ACDC' that is playing from Jonathan's room.

"Hey, you're early!" Jonathan greets me with a smile and I just freeze in my tracks.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," I sigh, staring his outfit down. "Han Solo? Really? Really?!"

"Yeah," he confirms. "What's wrong with… oh."

"Where are they?" I ask; it's as if I can feel my blood boiling. "Where are those four… where are they?"

Jonathan knows me enough to recognize when I am absolutely and completely pissed off and he knows what to do if that's the case: be out of my way. "They're in Will's Castle."

Not saying a word, I march out of the house, picking up the skirts of my costume; it's white and if I'm going to chase four kids around the forest, I don't want to get the costume dirty and ruin all the effort I had put into the whole thing. Ah, but the effort is already ruined. The four of them had ruined it. They knew I was going as Leia, all four of them; they were there when I bought the fucking costume! Earlier today, I was still rushing Jonathan to find himself a costume and if I remember correctly, he didn't ask about what I was wearing, nor did I offer the information. But four people knew; four kids knew.

"Guys!" I call out in a falsely happy voice as I approach the castle; I can't hear anything but I can all but smell them; they're hiding from me. "Why don't you let me into that pretty little castle of yours?"

"Password!" Mike yells out after a few seconds of silence. I laugh. Oh, how I laugh.

"Oh, I need a password to get in?" I ask, moving the curtain away as I walk into the makeshift house, making all four of them look up at me in terror; they were all wearing costumes, sitting on the ground and waiting for the pending attack. "I imagine you know about the surprise that awaited me."

"What are you talking about?" Lucas chuckles; oh, he's the best actor of them all. "Your hair looks really cool, by the way." He asks. Well, one day, his wife will be a very lucky woman, if his tactic is to use compliments to get out of trouble.

"Oh, I think you know very well what I'm talking about," I mumble; it's amazing to see genuine fear on their faces. I'm actually scary and I think I like it. "All four of you knew I am going as Leia. And lo and behold, no one wanted to be Han Solo. Everyone loves Han Solo, Han Solo is the best. And yet, out of four 12-year-olds, not a single one of you wanted to be Han Solo. You knew Jonathan didn't have a costume. You knew I am going as Leia. You did this. The only question is which one of you was it."

"Come on Tina, it was an accident," Dustin tries to persuade me. "A happy accident but an accident."

"No it wasn't, not with the four of you," I shake my head; I'm not buying it. "If it was an accident, you would have been laughing your asses of, not hiding in here. So, which one of you was it? Will, I doubt it's you," I shake my head, immediately taking him off the list. "You might have been the one that suggested it to Jonathan, but it wasn't your idea. Dustin, I don't think it's you either; you were so happy because of the costume and you wouldn't stab me in the back, would you?" I ask, watching as he looks away in guilt; oh yeah, all four of them were in on it. The only question is, whose idea was it? "That leaves me with the two of you. So spill the beans. Now!" I order, watching Lucas and Mike.

"It really was an accident," Lucas rolls his eyes. "No one did anything on purpose."

"Besides, you said it yourself; there will be like 50 Leias in Hawkins," Mike adds. "It doesn't have to mean anything. It's not our fault you two have unresolved issues."

"Unresolved issues?" I ask in disbelief. "Okay, I could understand a prank. I could live with a prank. But this? This is just plain rude. Is this what I get for being you friend? For trying to give you guys the best Halloween ever? Thanks. Thanks a bunch."

Reasoning with a bunch of 12-year-olds is nothing more than a waste of time but I couldn't let it slide without them knowing that this actually bothers me. Yeah, the trick they pulled on me bothers me too but the way Mike just… said it like that? No, that's not them playing nice. I'm not going to fight with them, I have to be the mature one here. But I'll be damned if I don't throw some guilt on them.

Jonathan jumps up from the sofa the moment I walk inside the house.

"I can change," he blurts out at once. "I'll change my costume. I can go as…"

"No, you're not changing," I sigh as I fall down on the same sofa he got up from. "It was a lame ass move but it is what it is. It's not your fault, after all."

"Tina, they're twelve."

"And much smarter than you think."

They know. They can smell it, they're like dogs. They knew _exactly_ what they were doing.

If that dance never had happened, I would be laughing my ass off at this. But after that, I really don't want to have a reminder of… ugh, I don't even know what it reminds me of. Of that complete failure?

"We're going with them," Jonathan tries to reassure me. "We're all dressed as Star Wars characters."

"And what about the party, Jonathan?" I remind him. "What about the party the entire school will attend?" I ask; attend and think that we're a couple because why not?! "Are we bringing them there too? Will Dustin hook up with Melissa in the bathroom? Is Will going to do a keg stand?"

"Okay, maybe it's…"

"It doesn't matter," I shake my head, not wanting to continue this drama any longer. "We can just… keep up with the show, right?"

* * *

"Trick or treat!"

"Ah, look at you!" the woman gushes as she offers candy to the kids. "Han and Leia and their little children, you're so adorable!"

"Actually, we're not their children," Dustin starts. "I am a…"

"Thank you!" Jonathan and I interrupt at the same time, as I pull Dustin by the shoulders. This time around, they take a hint and actually follow us in silence. "Stop explaining who you are, Dustin. They'll never learn, you'll waste your time and you'll manage to drive us all nuts."

"But they are wrong!" he whines. "I'm a Wookie! And Lucas isn't your son, he's your brother."

"I may be _a_ brother but I'm not her brother." Lucas cuts in.

I would laugh my ass off if I still wasn't angry at them. The tension is palpable, not so much between them as it is between me and Jonathan. It's off and it's off big time. He can't even look directly at me, not since I have mentioned the little show we've had. And I'm just pissed off at everything.

"Come on, we have one more house and then we're going to the other part of town." Jonathan urges them. With a sigh, I follow the five of them, while holding up my skirt; I really care about this costume more than I thought I would, given how it took me two entire seconds to pick it out. I catch up with them and the one walking next to me is Mike.

"I know it was you." I tell him in a low voice as I didn't want the others to hear us.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, cut the crap Yoda," I sigh, rolling my eyes. "What was it that you said, "there'll be at least 50 Leias in town", just like what I said? You probably got the idea then and there."

"We do not betray each other," he shakes his head. "No one will ever offer the information."

"Yeah, you don't have to," I laugh. "I'm not… It was a dick move, Mike but I'm not angry. I just want to know why. I'm not going to ruin your democracy. It will stay between us."

I am about to deem my try useless when Mike finally speaks up.

"Unresolved issues should be resolved," he tells me, looking directly ahead of him. "Especially when you can be happy if they're resolved."

Jesus Christ, a 12-year-old is smarter than Jonathan and I combined. Hearing that is not what I needed to hear now. Things just keep getting worse and worse by the day. I don't think I can keep it up, not when 12-year-olds can see something that wasn't supposed to be obvious. They know, Steve knows, hell, even Joyce must know! They all know and they all have opinions formed and yet, no one wonders why things aren't better. Maybe they should ask Jonathan. Or maybe not, since he's good at ignoring it.

"Two more blocks and we're done," Jonathan announces as he starts the car. "Did you get any good candy?" he asks them but I don't hear the answer as my focus goes to the song that's playing.

"Oh, brother." I sigh when I recognize it as "I want you around" by Ramones. Of all the songs in all the world, it had to be that one. How many hits can I take and why does everyone want to find out?

"Tina, what is going on?" Jonathan asks. I am taken aback by the look on his face; he looks pissed off. He's pissed off at me? "You've been acting all weird ever since we left the house! Is it really the end of the world that I'm dressed as Han Solo? Can't you ignore it for one fucking night?"

"Excuse me?"

"Guys, please don't." Will begs us from the back seat.

"Yeah, I mean it," Jonathan persists. "Does it really trouble you so much? Is it really that big of a deal?!"

"Stop the car."

"No, I won't stop the car because-"

"Stop the fucking car!" I yell and this time, he actually stops. "I'm done trick-or-treating. Have fun guys," I force a smile to the boys as I unbuckle the seatbelt. "And you…" I sigh, looking at Jonathan. "This time, try ignoring me for good." I slam the door shut, turn around and walk in the opposite direction of the one we were driving in. Melissa's house isn't too far from here and I need alcohol.

How dare he? How dare he?!

He's turning this around to be my fault?! God, I should have slapped him when I had the fucking chance! It doesn't matter now, not anymore. None of it matters. Leia is going to get wasted and Han Solo can go fuck himself for all she cares.

My anger refuses to die down, despite the 10 minutes it takes me to get to Melissa's house; I've never been to hear place before but "Girls just wanna have fun" was my sign as to where the party is.

The house is packed and a few people wave at me when I walk inside; of course, everyone needs to wave at Steve's sister. I look around for him, I look for his stupid Hawaiian shirt but he's nowhere to be found. Then, I look for alcohol. I don't find it but I find Nancy Wheeler instead, dressed as a fairy.

"Hey Nancy," I force a smile. "Have you seen Steve?" I ask her.

"He was here moments ago," she shrugs. I guess they aren't official enough for her to know his whereabouts at any given moment. "Wait, are the kids already done trick-or-treating?"

"No, Jonathan "The Asshole" Byers is taking care of them," I roll my eyes. "I've had my fill. Speaking of which, where's the booze?"

"Here, take this," she offers me her own cup. "I don't like it."

"Well, I do." I down the drink in one go, not even sure what's in the cup; I think it might be cola vodka, which is the worst mix in history but I'm… I just don't care anymore. I'm not angry, I'm not sad, I just don't care. Flat line, all of it. I don't care about anything anymore, especially not about that asshole.

"Whoa, Tina, take it easy."

"Don't worry yourself too much Nancy," I laugh. "We're not sister-in-laws just yet."

"Hello there," a guy in a red jacket smiles down at me; I'm guessing he's James Dean, but I'm not sure if the costume really works for him. "Would Princess Leia care for a dance?" he winks at me.

"Why of course she would."

I don't know him and I don't care. When I dance, I don't think. When I drink, I don't think. The way I see it, this is a win-win combination. The guy's a senior, I know that much; I've seen him around school before. And my brother's around somewhere, he'll keep me save if he has to.

Melissa's house is so packed, I can't even dance without hitting a few people with every move I make; we are all slamming into each other but hey, that's how house parties function. Besides, I think everyone is too drunk to care. And I'm not drunk enough.

"What's that?" I ask James Dean, looking at his cup.

"Beer," he tells me. "Want some?" he offers and without saying a word, I take the cup from him; this time, I stop halfway through; if I have too much at once, I'll be too drunk. I don't need to be too drunk to forget about all the bullshit I want to forget about. "Wow! I didn't know Steve's sister's a drinker."

"Neither did she," I shrug. "Oh, I love this song!" I yell when "I love rock and roll" starts playing. "Come on James, dance with me."

I was too close to him for my own good, I know that. But I don't care. I don't have the energy to care; Jonathan Byers drained it all and left me half dead. I might as well have some fun with the little energy I have left.

I sporadically zone in and out, but whenever I open my arms, I see Steve staring me down from across the room; he looks ridiculous, really, in his Magnum outfit. I know I am pissing him off, dancing with this guy who has his hands on my waist, but I really don't care. He wants to be a guard dog? Well, he can.

"I didn't know Steve's sister was such a good dancer."

"Well, Steve's sister is full of surprises," I force a laugh, not moving away from him as the song changes; we've been dancing for too long and I can feel that I'm enjoying it less and less but still, I decide to keep it up. "How about you bring Steve's sister a drink? Any kind will do."

James Dean listens to me. I move around on my own as I wait for him to return. I turn to look at Steve but this time around, I see he's not alone. Nancy's by his side and lo and behold, so is Jonathan Byers.

"Oh, fuck you," I utter to myself, diverting my attention back to James Dean, who was approaching me with two cups in hand. "Thank you, James."

"You're welcome, Leia."

"Tina, do you have a minute?" I stop and look at Jonathan in complete surprise; I wasn't expecting him to have the balls to say anything, much less here, at a party, while I'm dancing with another guy. Oh, he looks pissed off. Well, I guess he should know by now that I don't care.

"Can't you see I'm dancing?" I ask.

"Yeah, you're not," Steve cuts in, smiling as if he is having the best time of his life. "I'm going to have to steal Adam from you for a little while; I have to explain to him why he should keep his hands of my sister. You're free to talk." He announces and before anyone could say or react in any way, he puts an arm over James's shoulder and walks away with him, undoubtedly threatening James in a super kind voice; well, I guess his name is Adam.

And now the fuckers are working together against me. That only makes me angrier.

"You want to talk?" I laugh out loud. "Let's talk Jonathan! Let's talk!" I snap, immediately causing everyone to look our way. Yelling in the middle of a party? Not the best I idea I've ever had.

"Oh my god!" Nancy yells suddenly, causing all of us to look her way. "Look at that!"

A diversion. They've made a fucking diversion, all three of them. While everyone is look at whatever Nancy decided to point to, Jonathan grabs me by the hand and drags me out of the house.

"Stop it!" I pull my arm out of his grasps.

"Tina, you're drunk."

"Actually, and I hate to break this to you, I am completely sober," I laugh. The little alcohol I've had was not enough to cloud my judgment, not even in the slightest. "You want to talk? Then talk!"

"Not here," he warns me and I start marching away at once. "Where are you going?" he yells after me.

"Away from the house, so that you can have some privacy," I laugh as I walk down the road. "Is this good enough for you? No one in school will hear about this shit, don't worry. So, let's talk!"

"What is wrong with you?"

"What is wrong with me? You're wrong, Jonathan! You're the fucking problem!"

"Oh, so now you're going to blame this on me?" he yells. "What more do you want me to do, Tina?! I have been walking on eggshells around you, picking out words carefully and you throw a fucking fit because of a stupid costume!? And then what? You get wasted at some party and dance with a random guy because why, you just want to show me that you don't give a shit about me?!"

"Oh brother, if that's what you're thinking, you're so wrong!" I laugh; I can't believe him! After everything, he's blaming this on me! "You don't have the right to be angry with me, not when I'm making everything so much easier for you! I'm staying away, I'm acting like it never even happened and you can go around and brag how you made out with Steve Harrington's sister and didn't even have the decency to acknowledge her the following day!"

"Is that what you think I'm doing?!"

I have never seen him this angry before.

"And what the fuck do you think I'm doing?!"

"You're the one who ignored it, Tina," he shakes his head. "It took you one night's sleep to decide that it wasn't good enough for you! That I could never be remotely good enough for you! You like to think that you're all different and special but you're just like the rest of them!"

"And so are you! I'm sure you got oh so disappointed when you didn't get some, huh?!"

"Is _that_ who you think I am?! Fucking hell Tina, do you even know me at all?!"

"You know what? I don't think I know you at all at this point because the Jonathan Byers I thought I knew would have the decency to look a girl in the eye and say that he doesn't want to be with her, and not pretend like nothing ever even happened!"

"You were pretending Tina!"

"You didn't answer my fucking phone calls! You ignored me, Jonathan! You fucking ignored me and you even waited for me to leave school so that you can go into the dark room! What is that if it's not pretending?!"

"I didn't want to see you, not after the way you've been acting!"

"The way I've been acting?!" I yell; oh shit, we're taking it too far. I can feel the tears forming in my eyes and I don't think I can control them. "You hurt me, Jonathan. I thought…. I don't even know what I was thinking but… you were supposed to be one of the good ones. Like, I get it. I understand why you wouldn't want to be with me. I really get it. But was it too much to ask to at least get a proper explanation? You were the one who suggested that we should act like it never happened."

"No, don't you blame that one on me!" he yells; god, I'm really crying. "You were the one who suggested it and you started it the moment you called and acted like it never fucking happened!"

"My mom was in the room with me, Jonathan!" I yell. I stop to take a breath. At this point, it's more a sob than it is a breath. "What was I supposed to say? I liked kissing you and we should do it more often? She was in the room with me, Jonathan! I tried calling and you know it! You ignored my calls and at school, you couldn't even look at me. What was I supposed to do? What more could I have done?"

"I thought you were pretending like it never happened."

"Well, I wasn't. That was all you."

God, I'm such an idiot. He's an even bigger idiot than I am. Is it possible that it was all just a stupid misunderstanding? Is that what all of it was? A stupid misunderstanding that is going to cost us our friendship? I'm stupid, I'm so stupid. And so is he.

"Tina…" he starts and I wipe away my tears. No, this is too much. It's bad enough that I'm crying in front of him, he doesn't need to take it a step further. "I… I didn't know. I thought that…"

"Well, you didn't bother asking, did you?" I sigh, finally managing to calm myself down a little bit. "If you had just answered my call, if you had just called me when I asked you to, this all would have been avoided. It's too late now, it's way beyond too late. There's nothing left to salvage."

"Yes, there is."

"No, there really isn't Jonathan," I laugh. How can he see a silver lining in all of this? "What's done it's done and I think it would be best if we just stay away from each other from now on."

"No." he deadpans.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"No," he repeats. "I'm not going to let a misunderstanding ruin this."

"It's already ruined," I shake my head, watching in surprise as he starts walking my way. "No, Jonathan, you're not the only one who has a say in this. It's already ruined and-"

Both times he had kissed me, he interrupted me while I was talking.

The first time, I was confused. Now, I think I'm kind of glad.

Despite everything, despite losing my voice when yelling at him, despite the tears, I am glad he had shut me up because that's all it took. One moment, one kiss and I am back at that Friday night, back in the backseat of his car, laughing with him, kissing him and just… having fun.

This time around, I am not confused and this time around, I don't let him break the kiss. No, no way in hell. I don't care how much of this we will have to resolve later, I'm not stopping it.

A loud honk startles us both.

I didn't even notice that a car was parked a few feet away from us, much less that it is his car. And now we have Will, Mike, Lucas and Dustin grinning at us.

* * *

"Oh, you're back!" Joyce hugs Will as we walk through the front door. "Why aren't you two at the party already? Did you get any good candy? How did it go?" she asks her youngest.

"It was good," he smiles. "We got good candy, Han got Leia. It was a good Halloween."

"Oh, did he now?" Joyce laughs, looking at Jonathan and me; I look down at the ground, knowing that the floor wasn't going to give me a pointed look.

"I'm going to drive Tina home." Jonathan mumbles, ignoring her question.

"What about the party?" Joyce asks in confusion.

"Too wild for our taste," I speak up, shaking off the uncomfortable feeling. "Have a good night guys. See you." I walk out of the house before anyone could ask me when exactly they are going to see me. I walk to Jonathan's car and I wait for him to follow me as I sit in silence; he takes his place in the driver's seat but he doesn't start the car. We just… sit there, in complete silence, not looking at each other.

"You should have called me back, Jonathan," I finally manage to utter. "You should have called."

"And you should have told me about it when you saw me afterwards, but you didn't," he tells me. Fair enough. I don't get to point the finger without having a finger pointed at me, fair enough. We are both to blame here but that's not the question anymore, is it. The question is where do we go from here? What do we do now? "We're both to blame."

"That we are."

"Now what do we do?" he asks me. I finally gather the courage to look up at him. He looks like he actually cares and… he wouldn't have kissed me if he did not want to do it. I wish I could have the courage to say it like it is, to say what I really want, but after everything… even if it was just a stupid misunderstanding, my self-confidence is yet to recover from that blow.

"What do you want to do?" I ask. I need more. I need more from him. If I'm going to say it, if I'm going to be the one with balls in this story, I'm going to need more. Just a tiny hint. That's all I need.

"I don't want a stupid misunderstanding to ruin this," he repeats his earlier words. "But I need to know what you want to do?"

He needs more too. If neither one of us is willing to say it plain in simple… someone has to.

"Well, you don't get to make out with me twice and then act like you forgot all about it, Byers," I raise my eyebrow. A gigantic weight is lifted off my shoulders when I see a hint of a smile on his face. "Look, I'll just put my cards on the table here. I want to try. If you're willing to try, so am I. So long as we actually communicate this time around. If we talk and if… if we just talk and stay honest to each other like we've been before… If we can do that, we should give it a go. I'm in if you're in." I shrug.

"I'm in."

I might be the one saying the words but he's the one doing the deeds. I'm the one who says it but he's the one who starts the kiss.

This time around, we don't end up on the backseat and we don't get interrupted by 12-year-olds. This time, we kiss and when we stop, I lean on his shoulder and he kisses my head.

We're in.

* * *

 **1)Van Halen – Ain't talking 'bout love (Tina getting ready)**

 **2)ACDC – You shook me all night long (Han Solo reveal)**

 **3)The Ramones - I want you around (car)**

 **4) Cyndi Lauper – Girls just wanna have fun (party)**

 **5) Joan Jett & the Blackhearts – I love rock and roll (party)**


	10. Come On Eileen

**Hello you guys! I'm still writing and as long as I'm writing full speed, you'll get chapters every day! Here's your short playlist for this chapter :)**

 **Dexys Midnight Runners – Come on Eileen  
Rupert Holmes - Escape (The Piña Colada Song)**

 **Yup, that is it from me. Thank you, especially for your reviews! They mean so much so keep 'em coming! Let me know what you think and enjoy chapter 10! :)**

* * *

"So, I'm done with work at 6. I'll need to go home, shower and get ready. I think I'll be at your place by 7. Is that okay?" Jonathan asks me as we walk out of the dark room and into the empty school hallway.

"Yeah, that works," I nod. "I hope you like Salisbury steak, gravy and mash." I laugh; I laughed my ass off when my mom told me at breakfast what she's making for dinner. She really is going all out for such a special occasion. I didn't bother stopping her; I couldn't have done it, even if I tried.

"Tina, I'm not coming over for the food," Jonathan chuckles. "I'm more worried about meeting your parents than I am about whether or not I'll like what your mom prepares for dinner."

"You've already met them." I remind him, rolling my eyes. I don't understand why everyone is making such a big deal out of it. Jonathan is shaking like a leaf and mom is acting as if Reagan himself is coming for a visit. I'm nervous as hell but good lord, at least I'm not showing it with every word that comes out of my mouth! I know very well that tonight could land anywhere on the scale, anywhere from a complete disaster to the best night ever. But me freaking out about it isn't going to help anyone.

"I've met them for like… two minutes, before you dragged me out of the house."

"Well, you did not miss out on anything," I roll my eyes. "It will be dull as hell, I can promise you that. We just need to go through with it," I shrug. I would much rather avoid it. Why the hell should my parents know who I am with? Why is that obligatory? Who the hell decided that that is a rule that must be followed? I know I could live without it. The only reason why I'm putting myself through such torture is for the greater good; if they know where I am and who I'm with, perhaps they'll be more lenient. Even if they are not strict to begin with. "It's going to be awkward as hell but we will live."

"It's easy for you to say," Jonathan laughs. "You've won my mom long before we were a thing."

"Well, now that we are a _thing_ ," I roll my eyes at his expression. "You will impress them as well. You really should relax, thought. Steve and I are their children; they're not that hard to impress."

"Tina."

"Roll your eyes all you'd like, I'm dead serious," I laugh. "Their expectations aren't high for us, not in life, not in choice of a… romantic partner, as they'd call it. Really, you'll knock their socks off in no time; you just have to curse less than Steve and I do, and you're already there."

"I don't know about Steve but you are way ahead of me in that field."

"Shit, I know," I laugh; he holds the school door open for me, causing me to roll my eyes. "We make it through this one night and things are back to normal." I promise him as we stop walking; his car is on the other side of the parking lot and I can practically feel Steve's glare on me.

"Better than normal." Jonathan reminds me. Yeah, I'll have to think about that the next time; normal, for us, is what was before. We've decided that that's no longer going to be our normal.

"Fine," I laugh. "The _new_ normal then."

Jonathan isn't the one for a public display of affection and despite being fine with it, I'm not a big fan either. I guess it depends on how public it actually is. We were on the same page about not making out in the school hallway, for all the student body to see; it's one of the things we didn't even have to talk about, since we know automatically that it's not our style. But a little less public display could work well.

Still, I was a bit surprised when he leaned over to give me a kiss; it's a quick one, so I know he must be well aware of my brother being able to see this all unfold. A quick kiss, but still, it made me grin like a complete fool.

I doubt even Steve could ruin my mood now, but who knows, he might try hard.

"So, this is what it's going to be like then?" he asks, the moment I buckle my seatbelt. I ignore his question and stare straight ahead. "You and Byers are official now, or what?" he asks.

"He's coming over for dinner, Steve," I sigh. "What do you think?"

"No, I know that," he rolls his eyes. He heard it all this morning too; he was stuffing his face with food while I was having my coffee fix for the day, both of us watching and listening to mom as she was planning out the whole dinner; we were even less interested than Dad, who was hiding behind his newspaper, offering only an occasional grunt. "I'm just amazed how days ago, you were crying about it and angry with him, and now you're head over heels for him."

"I'm not head over heels for him," I sigh; I imagine I'm going to have to explain that over and over again. I'm with him and I like him a whole lot, but I'm a long way away from being a puppy in love. "The issues from before are resolved now. So yeah, this is how it's going to be like from now on."

"Well, you might forgive and forget but I won't," he tells me. Fucking hell, why? Why can't things be normal, even for a little while? Why can't my brother see that there's nothing for him to forgive and forget? It's me! I'm the one who was crying, I'm the one who had to make a call and I'm the one who made it! "He's a creep. I don't think even he knows what he wants from you."

"If that's what you really think, why did you let me leave the Halloween party with a creep?"

"Because I was too busy trying to keep Adam away from you, after you practically threw yourself on him!" he snaps. Oh, I was ready for that one to come and bite me on the ass. It's been brewing for days now. "He's not good for you, Tina. This whole thing is a very, _very_ bad idea."

"How but you let me be the judge of that, shut your mouth and start the fucking car?"

It's going to take more than Steve's passive aggressiveness to ruin it, a lot more. At one point, he is going to have to realize that I absolutely do not care what anyone else says or thinks. I'm the one who's with Jonathan, not Steve, not mom, not dad, not the entire school. I don't care.

That freak they all look down on is a better guy than half of them combined. Even if he sometimes fails to see that he needs to get his head out of his head.

Now he has me to remind him of that.

* * *

I have an inborn distaste of silence. I think that's a consequence of me listening to music 24/7. If I'm not listening to it, something is wrong. If I'm quiet, something is wrong. If me and two other people are sitting in a very uncomfortable silence, something is very, _very_ wrong.

"Mom, he's not showing up," I sigh, trying to bury my annoyance under the carpet. It was bad enough that Steve had decided that he has plans. He had to be elsewhere, too busy to be a decent human being for one night. We've been waiting for dad to show up for almost an hour and we are very close to going through all the possible conversation topics that we can muster. "We might as well eat."

"You're right," she sighs. "Jonathan, I am sorry. Tina's father often gets hold up at work."

"Oh, isn't that right," I earn a glare from my mother. God forbid that someone knows just what kind of a jackass I have for a father. What my Mom doesn't realize is that Jonathan is the last person in the world that I should be pretending for. He knows it. And despite how bad I think my father is, the specimen that helped bring Jonathan to the world is an even bigger piece of work. If anyone knows what this is like, it's Jonathan. If anyone knows the truth about my family life, it's Jonathan. "Let's eat before it gets cold."

When she met me for the first time, Joyce welcomed me in with open arms. And back then, I was just this random girl that Jonathan suddenly became friends with. I've brought him home, as my boyfriend, and I can only wish that the same thing happened now, like it did when I met Joyce. Mom is nice enough and I can see that Jonathan has her approval for now, but it is just too uncomfortable.

Especially when I have something to compare it to. She doesn't know Jonathan, so she can't possibly know how out of place he is right now. I've seen him when he was the most relaxed, the most carefree, and it's far from the boy that's sitting next to me at the dinner table.

"So, Jonathan," mom starts talking suddenly; I was hoping for silence, despite how much I do not like it. I could deal with silence until the desert, when this is the alternative. "What are your plans after high school?" she asks him. If she's acting, at least she's doing a good job. While my mom is hardly the bad guy in the family, she can sure as hell pretend if she needs to. And I can't read her now.

"School, Mrs. Harrington," Jonathan offers her an awkward smile as I focus on the mashed potatoes on my plate; there's no doubt in my mind that she'll find a way to turn this to me. "I would love to go to New York once I graduate."

"Ah, New York," she smiles. "Small town boy with big city dreams," she nods in approval. "Perhaps you can pass that motivation onto my daughter here."

And there it is. I knew it was coming, I fucking knew it.

"Yeah, because god help the sixteen-year-old that doesn't know what she wants to do in life."

"I knew what I wanted to do when I was sixteen."

"And look how well that turned out for you!"

Shit. I should have kept my mouth shut, at least for tonight. There were zero reasons for me to make a comment like this in front of Jonathan. Mom knows very well what I think, I've never kept that a secret. I'm not the one who should be ashamed of it, it should be the guy that didn't bother showing up on time tonight. That being said, I should have kept my mouth shut and not make Jonathan witness this.

"Ah yes, my kids are the joy of my life."

Well, at least he can see which side of the family is where the irony comes from.

* * *

"Mrs. Harrington, thank you for the dinner. It was amazing."

"Oh no Jonathan, thank you for coming," mom smiles at him. "It's nice to know that Tina might just be in good hands."

Oh, what the hell does she mean with that? It's nice to know that there's finally a man in my life that can control it, that can make decisions in my stead, like dad has been doing for her? If that's what she thinks I'm after, she's wrong. If that's who she thinks Jonathan is, she is way beyond wrong.

"Mom, you can go inside now," I give her a warning look. She must realize that she might have said too much because she smiles at Jonathan before nodding her head and closing the front door; I turn to him at once. "I am so, so, so, so sorry. I am beyond sorry. I… I'm sorry."

What else can I say? There's nothing I can offer than can repay for the torture he had to endure.

"Tina, it's okay," he laughs, shaking his head at me. "We survived, didn't we?"

"Did we?" I wonder.

"We did," he tells me, taking my hand. "She knows me now. She'll feel comfortable with us spending time together like we did before. We've avoided a massive road block. It's going to be easy now."

"We could have just kept pretending like we are friends."

"We could have, but I think I've had enough of that."

"Point taken," I laugh as we start walking towards his car. "At least you didn't have to deal with my father. Sure, it would have been nice of him to show up for something that is quite a big deal to me but at least we didn't have to be in his company, right?" I laugh.

"Don't get angry at him for this, Tina, it's not worth it," Jonathan shakes his head. "He's probably busy with work. My dad was busy with being a dickhead, so it could be worse."

"I know I am luckier than most," I laugh in irony, but it's the absolute truth. I have a shitty dad and he's still better than a lot of dads out there. "I just wonder why dickheads have to have children, that's all."

"Careful with those questions," Jonathan laughs at me. "If dickheads didn't have children, we wouldn't have been here, would we?"

"Nope, we wouldn't," I agree. "Look, I'm really sorry it went like that. If it makes you feel any better, I think she does like you. You didn't fail to impress."

"With all due respect to Mrs. Harrington, I kind of need you to like me; her, not so much."

"Well, guess who got lucky then?" I laugh. I ignore the possibility of my mom looking through the living room window and I kiss him. I hate not being able to do that whenever I feel like it. If I could have kissed him before, this evening would have been much more enjoyable than it was.

"Are you coming over for lunch tomorrow?" he reminds me of Joyce's invitation as he pulls away.

"Sure am," I nod my head. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." He kisses me once again before he gets into the car. Despite feeling like a complete idiot, I wait for him to drive away. I even wave at him before he does. Although, I'm not just seeing him off; I'm kind of avoiding getting back into the house. If I could have hopped into the car with him and crashed at his place, it would have been perfect. But no, I have my mom to deal with now and judging by the comments we have exchanged over dinner, it's not going to be a pleasant conversation.

"You really like this boy, don't you?" she asks me, the moment I close the front door behind me. She's sitting in the living room, looking directly at me. I walk over and lean on the wall, nodding my head.

"Yeah, I really do."

"He seems like a good one," she sighs. "At least he looks at you the same way you look at him."

"In what way?" I ask in confusion.

"In a way you look at someone you really care for when you think no one's watching," she tells me. "It certainly is more than I've expected from a boy that's been you boyfriend for what… two days?"

"He's been my friend longer than that," I shake my head. "Just because it's been two days, doesn't mean that I don't know him. Time is a shitty measure to use, mom. How long have you been with dad?"

"You can't compare a teenage crush to a marriage, Tina."

"I'm not comparing it, I'm proving your measure wrong," I shake my head. "Time means shit. You can know someone for two months and know all there is to know about them. You can be married to someone for twenty years and still be married to a stranger."

"Tina, you're projecting," she shakes her head. "You can pretend all you like, but you wanted him to be here. Even if you're acting like it's the last thing you wanted. You wanted him to show up and he didn't."

"Yes. And that didn't surprise me at all," I tell her. Now she's the one that's projecting, and I don't think she's realizing that by doing so, she's kicking me when I'm down. "I learned from the best, mom. I learned from you. I watched and learned how not to be affected by his absence, by him not giving a fuck about any of us."

"Tina, language."

"Speaking of language, here's an interesting word. Divorce," I watch as she scoffs, shaking it off immediately. "Mom, it's 1983. No one would judge you and trust me, no one would blame you either."

My mom is a good person. Far better person that dad deserves, that's for sure. But the horrible thing about her is the same thing that's horrible about me. We're good at pretending. We're Oscar worthy actresses. The only difference is that unlike her, I know when to stop pretending. When it starts affecting me in a negative way, I still have enough common sense to snap out of it and to salvage what is left. She doesn't have that. She'll go down with this marriage, like she's a captain of a sinking ship.

She cares more about appearances than she cares about her own happiness. I guess no one's ever bothered with telling her that at times it's okay to be selfish. Hell, it's even recommended.

"Sleep well, mom."

* * *

"Tina, I don't know how to dance to this!"

I have never seen Will looking as frustrated as much as he does now. That kid has a smile plastered on his face 24/7 and now, seeing him frown and pout is quite the change. Actually, I see the resemblance between him and Jonathan when he has that face; he looks quite a bit like his quiet brother.

"Come on Willster, this isn't a slow dance," I say as I turn around in place, waving my hands about. "With a proper dance, you have steps you should follow, or you're one of us unfortunate suckers who just sway from side to side," I say, noticing how Jonathan smiles at my words; oh yeah, the two of us were those suckers the only time we properly danced. "This is pop, Willster. New wave. Whatever you do, you're not going to be wrong. Whatever move you come up with, someone else had a worse one."

Maybe I'm not the best person to teach a 12-year-old how to dance. I guess that if he tries to imitate my moves at one of his middle school dances, he'd look like a complete fool.

"But I don't know how to move." Will whines; I stop with my dance and walk over to him, taking his hands and slowly moving him side to side.

"Follow the beat, Will," I smile at him. "Just follow the beat."

"But it keeps going from slow to fast!"

"And you should to," I laugh. "Okay, let's do this properly. Follow the beat."

This time around, he actually calms down and focuses on the song. And then he starts doing it. He starts dancing but by the time I got back to my own dance, he had already stopped. It lasted for 20 seconds, tops. Still, 20 seconds is more than nothing.

"How do you dance to this?" Will demands an answer from his brother.

"I don't." Jonathan laughs.

"Oh, don't look at him, kid," I shake my head at once; I stand my ground, even when Jonathan gives me a look. "You can do better than him. Now dance. Let loose. Dance however you want to dance. Nothing you can do can be bad. Just… try it. Try it, for me. Okay?"

I did not realize how saying "for me" can be one powerful weapon. I'll need to catalogue that one, in case I need to use it again. It works wonders with Will because the boy once again starts dancing.

And this time around, it actually works. I watch him and I notice how at one point, he wasn't thinking about his next move or about how the song goes; he just relaxed and moved the way he wanted to move. And that's the very moment he started dancing good. Very good for a 12-year-old.

"Come on Will. I mean Eileen," I can't even laugh at the joke Jonathan makes; it's too obvious for me to play the part of a supportive girlfriend and laugh at every word that comes out of his mouth. "Bed time."

"It's early!" Will rolls his eyes.

"It's almost nine," I laugh. "Come on, Will. We can dance tomorrow. Listen to your brother, get ready for bed and while you two have your daily talks, I'll do the dishes."

I'm not the one to panic. Oh no, any kind of trouble, I'm cool as a cucumber. I can act cool, even if I'm not cool. That's one of the reasons why Jonathan and I nearly ended up being equivalent to an atomic bomb. I can do it, I can keep my cool but now I think I am faced for a reason to genuinely start panicking.

I never offer to do dishes. Not even in my own house. I despise washing dishes with every fiber of my being. Any other chore, I'll be happy to do. Washing dishes? Never. And now I'm washing dishes.

I don't even know if all of this is normal, I have nothing to compare it to. That one middle school kiss with Andy who moved away before we started high school… I don't think that counts for anything. I didn't feel all fuzzy and… I don't even know how I'm feeling anymore but I do know that Andy sure as hell didn't make me feel that way.

Then again, I was a kid back then.

I'm grown up now and I have no clue how I'm supposed to act or react. Or what am I supposed to do. And knowing that Jonathan probably hasn't got a clue either isn't helping me.

What's worse, when they know what they're doing and you don't, or when you're both clueless?

This isn't normal. At least I don't think it is.

They treat me like I'm family. Joyce, Will… even Jonathan. I'm here every day. I help Will with homework; well, I watch as he does it all without my help. I wash the fucking dishes!

I have a horrible feeling that this is moving too fast. We didn't… we didn't have that long period of getting to know each other. We already knew each other when we decided to give it a go. And now I'm just… a part of their daily life. That's not how relationships between two sixteen-year-olds work.

No, I'm not going to panic about this. We nearly ruined it with our combined efforts; I don't want to ruin it single handedly because I'm afraid of the unknown. No, I'll face it as it goes. If I'm going to freak out about something, it will be because of my sudden wish to wash dishes in other people's houses.

I jump up in surprise when I feel a hand on my waist.

"Fucking hell Jonathan, don't do that!" I snap, but in a low voice, not wanting to bother Will if he has already fallen asleep; I managed to pour dishwater over my T-shirt. For all I know, the fucker did it on purpose. "I'm going to need that sweater of yours."

"You can keep it."

"You know, I'm going to take you up on that offer," I smile back at him; he leans over and gives me a quick kiss before taking a place by my side, drying the dishes that I wash. We work in silence for a couple of minutes. Despite not liking silence, I find that silence is quite enjoyable if it's with him. If we're not ignoring each other, that is.

As soon as we're done with the dishes, we go to his room and he gives me the same sweater I wore the last time; this time, I change in front of him. My confidence has a limit; I can act all high and mighty and change my shirt in front of him but I am definitely avoiding eye contact.

Yeah, I have no fucking clue what I'm doing. Joyce not being around and actually working the night shift does give us a bit of freedom but his brother is in the room next to us. Yeah, I'm not sure if I want to have that kind of freedom.

That being said, I have no problem with snuggling up next to him on the bed.

"Do you realize that this is the first time today that we have been alone?" he asks me.

"Nah, we were alone in the dark room," I remind him. "But it's good. I mean, I like being alone with you but you know that I adore Will. In the future, if we want to be alone… it won't be at your place."

"No, I love that you spend time with all of us," he defends himself at once, even if I wasn't attacking him to begin with. "It's just… I kind of miss kissing you, that's all."

"Then why are we talking now?"

"Good question." He laughs before kissing me.

Yeah, this is good. This is… completely stress free. Fuck, I can't even think properly when he's this close.

And the thing is, we keep getting closer to each other. Just when I think that there's no more space left in between, we find a way. And that's all fine and dandy, but my brain is quitting life at the moment.

I am the one who pulls away and I do so because I know the clock is ticking; for all I know, no one is up and waiting for me to get home; no one even knows where I am. Still, I'd rather not risk it.

"I need to go."

"Can't you just… sleep over?" Jonathan asks; the moment the words get out of his mouth, he realizes what he had said. "I'll go to Will's room. Or the living room. Or I'll take the floor, I don't know."

"Jonathan, chill," I laugh. "I'd love to stay but that would be… like signing my death sentence," I point out. Despite no one waiting for my return, my mysterious disappearance would have been noticed in the morning and I have a horrible idea that it would make Steve take matters into his own hands. That is not something I'd like to see and neither should Jonathan. "It's a long walk anyways."

"No, you're not walking home," he protests and I roll my eyes. "Tina, no way. It's too dark outside."

"You're not leaving your brother alone to give me a lift," I tell him. It's not debatable. It wasn't debatable the last time he offered to do that and it isn't debatable now. "Nothing will happen."

"You don't know that."

"Jonathan, I'm not a kid," I laugh, amused by his protectiveness. He's forgiven, seeing as he did act the same way before. It's not some worried boyfriend act; it's real, worried Jonathan. "Will is. You're not leaving him and the last time I checked, I couldn't fly. I should probably give it another shot, just in case it's changed but yeah, I'm walking home."

"Nope," he shakes his head. "You're driving. Take my car."

"And how will you go to school tomorrow?" I point out the flaw in his little plan.

"You'll pick me up," he shrugs. "I know that it should be the other way around but desperate times call for desperate measures."

"Alright," I shrug. "I'll do my best not to wreck it."

"Tina!" he laughs. "But seriously, for future conversations on this topic, Will's not little anymore. He's 12 and he's been alone before. I'm giving in simply because I know that you're not the person I want to piss off but seriously, he'd be fine."

"Ah, you know me so well."

He laughs at my fake, angelic smile. But he fixes it with another kiss. A kiss who was on the verge of turning into another make out and I…

"I have to go Jonathan," I laugh, pulling away for good this time. "Be ready tomorrow baby, I'm picking you up in my wheels." I act all butch, making him laugh. Oh God, calling him baby feels wrong, even if it is just a joke. "See you tomorrow." I blow him a kiss as I grab the car keys from his desk.

I'm glad he didn't walk me outside because I'd have to admit that I was wrong; we're close to winter and the nights are getting darker; they live on the very edge of the woods and I'd be lying if I said that it isn't spooky. I'm really glad he isn't next to me because he'd never let this go.

I've never actually driven his car and I act all sheepish around it. I nearly have a heart attack as the radio starts blasting music the moment I start the car.

 _If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain_

"Fucking hell!"

My heart is still beating like crazy as I start laughing. I'm kind of feeling bad that I didn't actually have a heart attack because damn, this would be one hell of a way to go. Out of all the songs that could have killed me, it would be the fucking Piña Colada song.

Ah, I guess it ain't my time to go just yet.

* * *

 **Dexys Midnight Runners – Come on Eileen – (dancing with Will)**

 **Rupert Holmes - Escape (The Piña Colada Song) – (car scare)**


	11. Beast Of Burden

**Yeah, there's only one song in this one. It's going to be a bit difficult to include songs from now on, but worry not, I'll keep it up! :)**

 **1)The Rolling Stones – Beast Of Burden**

 **As always, thank you… to the moon and back. I am beyond happy and that's pretty much because you like the story and you tell me that. So… thank you.**

 **As always, a new chapter will probably be up tomorrow, though I'm not sure about how much time I'll have for writing over the weekend. Either way, even if I am gone, I won't be gone for too long.**

 **So once again, follow, favorite and review, pretty please. And enjoy the new chapter! :)**

* * *

"Tina… uh… did we really just skip 1st period to go to a shopping mall?"

"No," I shake my head. "We skipped 1st period because I'm a shitty daughter who forgot about her mom's birthday. I'm telling you Jonathan, you should have seen her face this morning, when she realized that I got her nothing." I sigh.

I guess that tends to happen when life is interesting. Some other things become a priority. Which is not a good excuse for forgetting. Luckily, I gave an Oscar worthy performance and said that my surprise will have to wait until dinner; she bought it, or she's gonna win best supporting actress. Now I have to live up to my promise and fine a good present for her. ASAP. Skipping one period is bad enough.

"I'm sure she'd understand."

"Jonathan, you say that like you don't have a mother yourself," I laugh. "Would Joyce take it lightly?"

"No, probably not," he admits. "But I mean, it happens. I'm sure she'd forgive you."

"Oh yeah, because I have so much on my plate," I roll my eyes. "It might be a lot for me but in her book, a boyfriend and a math test aren't good enough. Besides, I'll find something in no time. I think."

"How about this?" he asks and I turn around, only to find him lifting up the most hideous vase I've ever seen in my entire life, and I'm not an expert in interior design.

"Jonathan, how about we make a deal?" I smile, trying hard to stop myself from laughing; I don't want to hurt his feelings, even if I'm pretty sure he didn't give it much thought when picking out the vase. "Never buy me presents. Never, ever. I beg of you."

"Okay, fair enough," he laughs; I'm lucky that an idiot like me had actually managed to find and idiot that is willing to handle an idiot like me. I'm not gonna lie, I thought before that I might be too tough of a cookie for him but so far, he has done nothing but proven himself. "But you need to find something."

10 minutes later, we were out of the mall with a beautiful, handmade wooden cuckoo clock under my arm. I might not be a fan of crap like that but mom will love it and that's good enough for me.

"Can I take it for a spin?" I ask Jonathan who just shrugs and throws me the keys.

For a while, we just drive in silence, listening to the Rolling Stones. I laugh when I see the look on Jonathan's face change when I take the wrong turn; though, it's not a wrong turn if I wanted to go there, is it? Maybe I should have given him a heads up.

"Um, school's on the left. You're driving towards the woods."

"I know," I laugh. "We have a solid 10 minutes before we have to head to school. First period's already missed and we have time before the second one. Not to mention that mom has reserved me for the day. It'll be like… 24 hours before we're alone together again. Why should we waste time?" I ask as I stop the car; we should have enough privacy here.

"Back seat?"

"Yup."

* * *

Mom was over the moon because of the cuckoo clock. She was over the moon with Steve's gift too, a bottle of "Opium". I have to give it to him, he really killed it this time. 1:0 for Steve.

Both of us had canceled our earlier plans. I would have been with Jonathan; Joyce is working, Will is at Mike's the whole day and we would have had the house for ourselves for the entire afternoon and a good portion of the night. Steve? I suppose he would be hiding away with Nancy somewhere, seeing as they are yet to start acting like a proper couple. I don't know if it's Steve or here that are shying away from it but I have to hand it to my brother, this has to be the longest period of time that he held interest into one girl and one girl alone. As far as we know.

Being good kids that we are, we canceled our plans and stayed at home, to have the amazing dinner mom made; she killed it with the meatloaf.

It's nine o'clock, the food is already cold and not only did dad not show up, but he didn't even bother calling to say that he'll be late.

For what has to be the hundredth time, I come to the conclusion that mom is a complete and total idiot. Dad's a jackass, but we all already knew that. She's the real idiot in the story, seeing as she accepts his behavior and acts as if it is normal. Steve and I don't and that's becoming painfully obvious.

"He has really outdone himself this time."

"Steven." Mom scolds him.

"Stop it, both of you," I interrupt before we can have another fight erupting. She may be an idiot but I don't see why we should try to make her birthday worse than it already is. "You need to know when to be quiet," I give Steve a pointed look. "And you should have gotten used to it." I add, looking directly at mom. I might not be adding insult to injury but she has to know how stupid this entire thing is.

"Am I not? Do you see me breaking down in tears?" she snaps at me.

"Well, you're an idiot," Steve stands up. This is _exactly_ what I wanted to avoid. I could have said the same to her on any given day. After all, I do have a comment or two every other day. But Steve's timing is just wrong. Off the chart wrong. "Wonder what will happen to your daughter if she has you to look up to." He marches out of the kitchen. It takes mom a few seconds to burst into tears.

I'm the last person that should be comforting anyone. I'm just… I'm bad at it. I don't even know how to make myself feel better, let alone someone else. And now I have to comfort my mom, despite not agreeing with her about anything at this point. I hate Steve. Any other day, any other fucking day.

"Mom, he didn't mean it." I reach out across the table to hold her hand.

"Yes, he did!" she snaps. Great, now I'm going to be the one that gets the blame. She'll take it all on me. Dad's the one that doesn't show up, Steve is the one that's the jackass and I get all the blame. Perfect.

"Maybe you should think about what caused it."

"Do you think I like this?" she yells at me again. I take a deep breath and remind myself that she is not being rational and that yelling back at her will do me no favors. "Do you think this is what I wanted? Do you think this makes me happy?!"

"Maybe you should realize that you're the only one to blame," I stand up, finally having my fill. It's one thing for her to break down and another one to yell at me when she _knows_ that unlike her son, I have kept my mouth shut this time around. "You don't get to yell at me, or at Steve. It's not our fault. It's not our fault your life is miserable. And you know what? It's not dad's fault either. He's doing what he's allowed to do. You put yourself into this and don't even think that you can drag either one of us down with you!"

She needed to hear it. Granted, tonight was the wrong night to say something like that but she needed to hear it. Even if it will go right through her head, just like everything else I say does.

I think she needs a night of misery. Of complete and total misery, crying over the dinner she had made and her husband that did not show up.

And I need to get my mind off of this bullshit. The moment I get to my room, I call Jonathan but no one picks up. God knows what he and Will are doing now. I'm stuck. I don't even feel like listening to music. I don't feel like doing anything. Jonathan is pretty much the only person that could make me feel better.

"Steve, leave me alone." I grunt when I hear the door open; it's not mom, that's for sure.

"I took it too far, didn't I?" he asks, ignoring my order completely.

"Yeah, you did," I open my eyes right as he jumps on the bed and over my legs. "Which doesn't necessarily mean that you've said things wasn't supposed to hear."

"I don't get it," he admits. It's not often that I get to see Steve confused. I mean, he gets confused about the basic things in life, since he isn't exactly the brightest, but he knows people. He knows human relationships better than I ever will. "I don't understand what is making her be so miserable. I get that before, she didn't want to put us through it. Children of divorce often aren't in their right mind."

"Okay, first of all, that's bullshit," I sit up; Jonathan and Will are both children of divorce and they are absolutely in their right mind. Life might not be peachy at all times but they are both good and kind and Joyce has raised them well. "Second of all, don't be stupid. Do you think she ever actually considered a divorce? She hasn't worked a day in her life. She needs him like she needs air. She hasn't paid a bill in her life, she doesn't have anything of her own. She'd have to leave and let's face it, we're still minors; we'd leave with her. Trust me Steve, if the thought ever crossed her mind, she didn't bother considering it." I tell him.

I know that them having a divorce could have dire consequences for Steve and me. We might have to leave Hawkins and at the moment, that's the last thing I'd want to do. I suppose I should be lucky that my mom's an idiot but that doesn't mean I actually enjoy seeing her like this.

"I don't think she realizes how shitty her life actually is."

"She's scared of change," I tell him. "She'd freak out. On one side, there's a change and a life on her own and on the other hand, there's the… financial comfort and security of a semi-stable family life."

"Which is all bullshit."

"I never said it wasn't," I defend myself. "Did you really mean it?"

"What I told her? Yeah!"

"No, not that. Did you mean it that I'll end up like her?"

I don't think Steve realizes that with that one sentence, he had brought my biggest insecurity back to life. And the worst part is, he's comment is on point. I do have her to look up to. I might be fighting it, but she's my mom. I don't think I look up to her, now. If anything, I'm seeing her mistakes and I'm determined not to make them myself. But that doesn't make me any less afraid of them.

"I really hope not," Steve admits. "I hope that you're too hot-headed for that. But yeah, if that were to happen, I know who I'd blame for it."

"It won't happen," I shake my head, not even sure if I even mean it or if I'm just in denial. Luckily for me, I'm 16 so it makes it a bit too early to tell. "There's no way in hell I would ever let myself end up in her place. And even if it was to happen, I sure as hell wouldn't stay there."

"Are you sure about that?" Steve gives me a pointed look but I just nod my head. "I don't know, Tina. You've been with Byers for what, a couple of days? And look how well that's turning out for you."

"Steve, what the hell are you talking about?"

I'm not even angry, I just want to know what he's been smoking lately. We haven't talked about Jonathan ever since he caught me crying about him; and even then, we weren't talking about Jonathan, we were talking about how love sucks in general.

The only thing he knows is that I am with Jonathan now, that it's official. He doesn't know anything else.

He doesn't know how much I actually have _fun_ when I am with Jonathan. He has no clue about how I feel like a deflated balloon when for whatever reason, I am not with Jonathan. He has no idea about how much I enjoy spending time not only with Jonathan, but with his mom and brother.

He has no clue what he's talking about. This is not like him and Nancy, sneaking around because one of them is afraid of… I don't know. I don't know details about their situation so I'm not going to make any guesses, which is _exactly_ what Steve should learn how to do as well.

"You're watering yourself down for him."

"Steve, really, what the hell are you talking about?" I ask, my confusion only growing.

"This isn't you, Tina," he shakes his head. "You're not some… lovey dovey chick. You're not someone who gets to impress boyfriend's families. You're not someone who will jump into a relationship in high school and stay in it for good."

"Steve, seriously, what are you using?" I laugh. "You're talking about some future that might not even happen! It probably won't happen, Steve. There's… two years of school to go. What are the chances of anyone actually ending up with their high school sweetheart? Millions of things can go wrong! Even if by some miracle I do stay with Jonathan for good… Do you really think I'd jump into that kind of life straight away? Do you really think that's something I'd be interested in?"

"No, I know it's not," he shakes his head. "That's why I think you're watering yourself down. Like… vodka. You're making yourself more drinkable."

I would laugh in his face if this actually wasn't a serious topic. A ridiculous conversation on a serious topic, that's what it is.

"See, that's the problem here. You don't know Jonathan," I point out, causing him to roll his eyes. "Steve, no one's making you do anything. In fact, I don't want you to know him. I would probably claw my eyes out if we… I don't know, start doing double dates with you and Nancy."

"Okay, don't you think you're exaggerating?"

"Actually, I'm really not," I laugh. I don't need to try it out to know that it will end up being the purest form of torture. "You're my brother and unfortunately, I love you more than anything in the world. But we don't always get along and the last thing I'd want to do is to drag this relationship into it. And this is a relationship that I am actually invested in. You don't know Jonathan. You only see bits and pieces of what it's like. I'm not watering myself down for him. I wouldn't do that, not for him, not for anyone. And what you see happening? Well, you can simmer down with the big brother worry, because Jonathan wouldn't like that either. Do you really think I'd end up with someone whose opinions differ from mine on such a level?"

"How the hell do you know that?"

"Steve, we don't need to sit down and talk about our life plans. I know him. He's my best friend. Okay, why are we even talking about this?" I snap, finally losing my cool. "I'm 16! I am at the very least three years away from having that choice before me and trust me, by that time, he'll grow tired of me."

"Or maybe you'll grow tired of him?"

"Steve, stop putting negative thoughts in my head, it's bad enough as it is," I tell him and this time, he actually laughs. "I won't grow tired of him. I might doubt every other think, I might ask all the wrong questions but that's not something I'm worried about, not in the slightest."

"You're way too sure of what you're saying, given that this is your first relationship."

"I'm sorry, but fear of commitment doesn't necessarily run in the family."

"I don't have a fear of commitment," he laughs. I just give him a look; I don't even need to use words for this one. "I'm not!" he gets all defensive on me, which just goes to show that I am absolutely right. "I am 17. I can do whatever the hell I want and I'm taking advantage of that. I'm not in a relationship because I don't want to be in a relationship, not because I'm afraid of it."

"Then why don't you grow a pair and call Nancy your girlfriend?" I ask. Boom. I was right; he is the one that's stalling. Sure, maybe Nancy's giving him a run for his money but the look on Steve's face is proof that he is the bigger reason in keeping the word 'relationship' of the table. "Let me guess; Nancy is too good for you? A cute, nerdy girl? Not a party animal, not a slut, but actually a normal girl? She doesn't fit the act you have to keep on playing, does she? But you still like her."

"You don't know what it's like between the two of us. You're talking about things you don't know."

"Huh, kind of like you were talking about Jonathan and me?"

I love it when I prove him wrong. These little moments give me energy and will to keep on messing with his brain. He might have the looks of the family, but I have the brains.

"That's not the same thing," he shakes his head and I give him another look. "It's not! Nancy didn't break my fucking heart before we even started being a thing!"

"First of all, low blow," I tell him. Dick move, even for him. "Second of all, and listen to this… you do not know him," I tell him, word by word, as if I am talking to a child. "You do not know him, you do not know us and you do not know what happened. So don't make assumptions. They're way off."

"I don't need to know it. He made my sister cry and that's good enough for me."

"Okay, don't try to justify your comments with brotherly love," I laugh. I'm not even pissed because of this. I just feel like I'm never getting this few minutes of my life back. "Seriously man, don't meddle into it. I'm happy and that's all you need to know. That's all you should be concerned about. If at some point that changes, feel free to jump to conclusions. But for now, focus on your own relationship."

"I'm not in a relationship."

"And whose fault is that?"

I laugh as he walks out of my room; I finally managed to make him angry enough to actually leave me alone. No, not angry. He's not angry, he's irritated. He's irritated because he knows I have a point and that's not something he particularly enjoys. Especially if that makes him out to be a bad guy. He'll live, so I don't care. I'm just amazed as to how this conversation could go from us talking about mom and why she never considered a divorce to our current relationships. Well, my relationship and his _thing_ with Nancy, since he's insisting that they are not a couple.

I can't make it my life's mission to walk around and try to open people's eyes. I did before, apparently. I was invested, too. I did my best, I tried and I failed. Now, I am done with it. I'm going to let everyone else live in the shit of their own making and I'm just going to enjoy my own life. I have worried for much too long about people who don't really ever stop to worry about me.

I roll around on the bed and grab the phone again. Again, the answering machine greets me.

"Hey Jonathan, it's me," I sigh; I hate the fact that anyone can actually hear the message and the same goes for my own home number. We have zero privacy and if I want to say something that I don't want the others to hear, I literally have to speak in codes. "No one's picking up so call me when you get this. Or don't, depending _when_ you hear it. I guess… I guess I'll see you tomorrow at school."

I hate answering machines with a passion. I also hate Jonathan's inability to pick up the damn phone.

* * *

7:15

Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap!

Will there ever come a day when I actually wake up on time?!

God knows when I fell asleep last night, I'm still wearing the clothes I wore yesterday. Cursing under my breath, I make a run for the shower before Steve can try to steal it from me.

That was not a mistake; I'm still getting dressed when I hear Steve cursing. I'm not the only one who overslept today.

Will there ever come a time when I will stop being surprised with how much Steve and I are actually similar? Our appearance… well, I suppose someone could guess we're siblings, others wouldn't, but at time I feel like I am a female version of Steve, at least when it comes to personality. Even if it's the little things, like never being on time for anything.

"Come on Tina, move it!" he urges me as soon as I jump out of the bathroom.

"Easy, pretty boy!" I yell after him as he slams the door in my face. Yup, we're alike.

I barely bother with hair and make-up. I have completely given up on making puffy hair on a daily basis; I don't like it and I don't think it's as trendy as it was before. I guess that Jonathan's simplicity is rubbing off on me. I like it. Hell, if I'm going to be influenced by the guy I'm with, at least I'm not with a mullet wearing jackass. Or a type like Steve, that would steal all of my hairspray.

I nearly forgot about what had happened last night. Dad not showing up, Steve's outburst, mom's breakdown and me just giving up on everything and everyone. Unfortunately, I remember it all as I make my way to the kitchen, ready for my coffee fix.

"Good morning." I mumble in greeting, even if I normally don't speak before the first cup.

"Morning!" mom beams at me as she serves dad breakfast; he doesn't even look away from his newspaper; he only mumbles something in response.

Unbelievable. How can she act like last night hasn't happened? I couldn't. Good lord, my husband would be a dead man if he did something like that to me! He didn't even bother to call! Even when our eyes meet, she doesn't show a single crack in her act. I was wondering if I'd be able to see a crack, a trace of her not being… as happy as she pretends to be. But nothing. Completely blank. She's so into the act, I'm not sure if she even knows that she's acting.

"What?" she asks.

"I'm drinking coffee and minding my own damn business."

"We have news," mom smiles. "Let's wait for Steve to join us, shall we?"

"Minding my own damn business." I repeat.

Nah, there's no way in hell she would have an epiphany overnight. And I think that a divorce might shake dad enough to actually drop the newspaper and pay attention to the world that surrounds him. Whatever news she has to share, it's not that big of a deal and it probably won't affect me in any way.

Steve shows up and he doesn't even have a chance to start his scrambled eggs before mom clears her throat.

"Your father and I are going on a trip," she announces. "We are going to Los Angeles."

"Good for you," Steve comments. Oh yeah, sibling resemblance is evident. "When and for how long?"

"Today," dad speaks up. Ah, so he can hear! "We will be away for the week. Will the two of you manage to survive on your own?"

"Well, we didn't die that one time we were alone for 10 days." I remind him.

"What the hell are you doing in Los Angeles for a whole week?"

"Business trip."

Ah. Now I get it. For a moment there, I thought he is taking her to LA to make up for last night and frankly, the last 20 years but boy, was I wrong. He's probably… killing two birds with one stone. He thinks he'll wash away the guilt and he has to go to LA anyways. What sounded like a romantic trip now ended up actually being a carefully crafted excuse. I look at mom and as she looks at me, I see the crack.

She knows. Oh, she knows. And she's still choosing to ignore it.

"Well, we won't burn down the house." Steve breaks the silence. Oh, hell no. He's going to want to have a party every night. Having the parents out of town might sound idyllic but Jonathan and I probably won't have the house for ourselves, not with Steve, Steve's almost girlfriend and idiotic friends.

The phone rings and we all snap out of it. Steve and I exchange looks that say more than words ever could. Yes, they are idiots and yes, we will have at least one party while they are away.

"Tina?" mom calls. "It's Jonathan." She offers me the phone. Okay, that's weird. I walk over to the phone and sheepishly answer, knowing all three of them will listen in to every word I say.

"Yeah?"

"Tina, have you seen Will by any chance?"

"What?" I frown. "No. Where could I?"

"Shit," he sighs. "He… He's not at home. And... he didn't come home last night."

"I'll be there," I slam the phone. "Mom, give me your car keys."

"What?" she asks and all three of them look up at me in confusion.

"You're going to Los Angeles, you don't need the car," I close my eyes, sighing in annoyance. I don't have the time to explain things. "Will is missing, Jonathan's brother is missing. I need to go there."

"And miss school?" dad asks. Oh, just perfect, now's the time when he decides he wants to be involved in my life and education. "Be realistic, Tina. The kid's probably just pulling their leg."

"He is not!" I snap. I could talk for half an hour how Jonathan wouldn't panic for no good reason and how Will wouldn't even do anything like that, but I don't have the half hour and I don't even want to look at him. I turn to mom. "You've met Will. You know what kind of kid he is. He wouldn't play a prank. He is missing since last night, mom. Give me the car keys."

We all look at her now. She looks down at Dad before grabbing her purse, taking the car keys out of it and throwing me the keys.

"What is the meaning of this?" Dad asks her.

"Don't. Don't!" mom snaps at him. I can't recall if she ever snapped at him like that. But I don't have time to stop and think, or to see the aftermath. The moment I realize that the coast is clear, I am out of the house and running towards the car.

Will is missing.

No, no way. By the time I get there, there will be an explanation. This is Hawkins. Nothing bad ever happens in Hawkins. By the time I get to their house, Will is already going to be there.

* * *

 **CANON!**


	12. Love Will Tear Us Apart

**Here's a new one guys. It's a bit longer than usual, but I just couldn't find the right place to end it, without the following chapter being too short. I think I'll have to slow down a bit with the updates, I'm not sure if I can keep up with "one chapter a day" posting habits any longer. That being said, even if you do have to wait, you won't have to wait for too long :)**

 **There's just one song in this one and you'll know when it is supposed to play:  
1) Joy Division – Love Will Tear Us Apart**

 **As always, thank you for your reviews and super kind words. I'm sorry that this time I didn't have a chance to respond to you but I was in such a rush for the last two days and ugh, I promise it won't happen again, like ever! I hope you like this chapter and if you do, you know the drill!**

 **Don't forget to let me know what you think! I hope you enjoy the chapter! :)**

* * *

I was born and raised in Hawkins and despite spending all 16 years of my life here, I am not quite sure if we even have a police station. I mean, I know we have it, but you never really see them around. Shit that happens in big towns doesn't happen here. It doesn't happen in a place where everyone in the street you live in knows your name, who your parents are, what they do and even the name of the family pet. We know things and we know each other, like any other small town. And crime is not a word you hear here often. The biggest crimes that I am aware of are probably the ones I have committed and am currently committing; underage drinking and passing the speed limit.

I don't care about speeding tickets I might get, if there actually is a cop in town who cares about crap like this. I don't care. I need to get to Jonathan as fast as I possibly can. I need to know that Will is okay and that this was all just a stupid misunderstanding. He probably spent the night at Mike's or something and forgot to call to let them know. He might be with Lucas or with Dustin. There are four of them, I'm sure they are together or that one of them knows that Will is doing just fine.

The moment I park the car, Jonathan rushes out of the house.

"Did he come back?"

"No," he shakes his head. I need to calm myself down. If I start to panic, which I really want to do right now, I will bring even more worry on him than he already has and that's the last think that he needs right now. As much as I want to run over to him and hug him, I don't do it. Doing that would make it seem as if I am comforting him and we don't have time for that. "Mom's at the police station."

"Good," I sigh. Maybe they'll pay more attention to a missing kid than they do on underage drinking or speeding. "What the hell happened? What do you know, I mean, where could he have gone?" I ask as I follow him into the house. I light a cigarette the moment I cross the threshold.

"He was at Mike's last night," Jonathan tells me. I find an ashtray in the kitchen and I watch as he starts pacing around the place; he doesn't look too good. "He left a little after eight. And that's it."

"And he wasn't home this morning?"

"No."

"What about last night? Did he come home or did he not come home at all?"

"We don't know," Jonathan shakes his head. "Mom was working and I… I took an extra shift."

Holy mother of god, he left him alone.

Even if Will walks through the door this very second, Jonathan will probably remember every single time when I insisted that he should stay with Will instead of driving me, just as he will remember that every single time, he reassured me that nothing will happen to his brother. He's not a kid, he's 12,he can be home alone. I've been making Jonathan feel guilty about this before it even happened!

"Joyce is at the police station?"

"Yes," he nods his head. "She'll take a day off from work and we're going to… I don't know, we're going to drive around, looking for him. You shouldn't have come here, Tina."

"And what makes you say that?"

"Come on, go to school," he shakes his head. "You shouldn't be worrying about this."

"Hey, Jonathan," I snap my fingers and he finally looks up at me. "I'm not going anywhere. If this worries you, then it automatically worries me. Do you get that?" I ask and after a few seconds of me giving him a deadly stare, he nods his head. I walk over to him and grab a hold of his hand. "If you're going to drive around town looking for him, I'll do the same. I took mom's car. I'm going to drive around with you, we will find him and by dinner, it will all be good again. Do you hear me?"

"Yeah," he nods his head, squeezing my hand a little bit tighter. "Look, I'm going to drive around but if you're going to help, I need you to stay here. If Will calls or mom or the police…"

'Yeah, I get it," I nod, agreeing, even if I would feel a bit better if I was actually looking for him instead of just being here. "If he shows up, someone needs to be here. I'm not moving until you tell me to."

"Thank you, Tina," he mumbles, forcing a smile my way. "Thank you for doing all of this."

"Don't thank me, Jonathan. I'm here to help. Go, don't waste time because of me."

He is already at the door when he stops, turns around, walks back over to me and kisses me; it's a quick, rushed kiss and the moment I open my eyes, he's already walking through the door.

* * *

I never thought a day would come when I would be going through the stuff of a 12-year-old. I mean, maybe, if I had a 12-year-old child, although I would never really imagine myself as one of those overprotective moms, but yeah, I could see myself doing that if my kid was acting all weird.

But I don't have a 12-year-old kid. And the kid whose room I'm searching isn't even my own family.

If Will gets angry because I searched his room, I will apologize forever and ever. I'll make it up to him by getting him a super cool present. I'll… I'll take him to fucking Disneyland if that's what it takes. I'll find a way to repay for not respecting his privacy but right now, I need to look for something, anything.

Will's not the type of kid that would just… leave. He's not. He's not pulling a prank. If he's been gone the whole night, then he must be lost, or… No, I'm not going to think in that direction. Absolutely not. Shit like that doesn't happen in Hawkins and shit like that doesn't happen to kids as kind as Will. No, if he's gone for so long, it must be because he's lost or… hiding or something. And maybe, just maybe, if I look around his room, I will find a clue as to where he could be. And if I don't, well, it won't hurt to try. Besides, I need to do something. I can't just sit around, waiting for the phone to ring while Joyce and Jonathan are god knows where, doing god knows what and the rest of the world is continuing with their daily lives as if nothing happened.

I go through everything. Every book, every notebook, every drawing. I don't see anything that could tell me where Will could be, or the reason why he'd be there.

My heart skips a beat when I find a bunch of photos in a wooden box; some of them I took, some of them I'm in. There's a few from Halloween. One with the boys posing proudly in their costumes, another one with Jonathan and me behind them. I look as if someone had forced me to pose at gunpoint. To be fair, that's exactly what it felt like, back then. But Will is just beaming. Then there's another photo that I recognize as the one I took and developed; him and Jonathan, with him jumping onto Jonathan's back and both of them look as if they are laughing their asses of. Then there's one of me and Will; I don't even remember Jonathan taking the photo, but it's one from our many dancing sessions; Will and I, laughing as we hold hands, dancing in the living room, with Joyce sitting and laughing in the background.

Will better be okay because if he's not, I swear to god…

I was so immersed into my own thoughts; I didn't even hear the car. This is why when I heard someone moving around the house, I jumped up and ran out of Will's room.

"Will?" I call, only to find Joyce in the hallway, looking equally disappointed to realize that I'm not Will.

"Oh honey," she sighs. God, I must have given her a heart attack. I didn't hug Jonathan as I didn't want to feed his panic but I can't do the same with Joyce. Not when she rushes towards me. I hug her and I tap her on the shoulder. I don't know what else to do, what else I can say. "No one's seen him."

"Jonathan is driving around town," I tell her, pulling away from her crushing hug. "You've been to the police. We're all doing all that we can. We will look more but first you need to stop and take a deep breath. Actually, to hell with deep breaths. Have a cigarette."

It's a good think I always carry a spare pack with me, wherever I go. It's not even 10 and I'm already halfway through the first pack. I imagine that at one point, I'm going to have to run to town to get more because as Joyce lights one, I can see that she's shaking. I need to feed her. She probably hasn't had breakfast, or coffee and she's going to need her strength. I give her space and I don't say a word as I work around their kitchen, making toast. No, she needs more. I crack two eggs, mix them up quickly and I pour them in the pan, breaking the only rule of cooking I know; low heat, longer period of time. Joyce needs some energy _now._ By the time coffee is done brewing, I am plating the food.

"Tina, honey, you should be at school," she tells me, probably just realizing that I shouldn't be here at this time of the day. "You shouldn't be… no, you shouldn't."

"Joyce, let's not worry about my education, okay? I'll live without one day of high school," I tell her. I've skipped school for stupid shit before, I can damn well skip one day when my boyfriend's kid brother goes missing. Not to mention that Will's more than that. He isn't just… Jonathan's brother. I adore that kid. I love him more than I love my own freaking brother! "You need to eat first. Then, you tell me what the cops told you. And then… we'll think of what we're going to do next."

What are we going to do next? Look for him? We're already doing that, aren't we? What more can we do? Where can we look? Jonathan knows Will better than anyone, if he's not in the places that Jonathan is looking it… No, I can't think like that. Not when I need to calm Joyce down. I can't afford to panic.

"Hopper told me that I need to call Lonnie."

"Lonnie?" I ask in confusion. "But… Jonathan told me that he's in Indianapolis."

Just as he told me that their father didn't give a shit about them for the last couple of years. Not only is he not around, but he doesn't even bother paying alimony. Even if their father was still in Hawkins, I doubt that's where Will would go to. No way, it doesn't make any sense.

"Hopper insists that I need to do it," Joyce shakes her head, taking a small, miserable bite of toast. "If a kid goes missing, he's probably with a parent or a relative."

"Yeah, if a parent doesn't live a couple of hours away and actually know what his kid looks like!" I snap. Okay, now is not the time for me to do that. That's the last thing Joyce needs. "Hopper, he's the chief of police, right?" I ask, knowing that I have heard that name before; Joyce nods her head. "Okay, you'll call Lonnie but what will he do, because we know that Will's not with him?"

"He's going to talk to Will's friend and…" she stops talking, looking as if she had just remembered something. She's out of her mind and I can't blame her. For someone whose kid has been missing for the entire night, I think she's actually holding up pretty good. "They'll start searching."

"And what does he think he's going to get out of Lucas, Dustin and Mike?" I sigh, falling back into the chair. It's stupid. It is beyond stupid. Three 12-year-olds are doing what, hiding him? Helping him escape? The cops are acting as if this is some sort of a collective prank. He's not with his friends, he's not with his father and he would never do anything like this, not on purpose! I don't know what the hell they think they're doing but I've seen enough movies to know that if a kid goes missing, every single minute is of importance. "He's probably just going to freak out those kids for good."

God, the three of them! I have been thinking about Will and how his family is dealing with all of this but they… god, they must be out of their minds. They're more like brothers than friends.

"I mean, I guess he has to check it all out," Joyce shrugs, finally eating a bit more. The last thing we need is for her to faint or get sick, since she must be going crazy from all the worry. "He's not with Lonnie but maybe… maybe the boys know if he has a hiding place or something. Maybe they know something that we don't."

I never had a hiding place when I was a kid, nothing other than my room. But Will's a smart kid and I kind of… developed later. It was all about music for me and that meant that my room was my hiding place. I wouldn't have music in the back yard or in tree house or something.

Tree house. Wooden house. The Castle Byers.

"Joyce!" I make her jump. "Castle Byers! Did you check Castle Byers?!"

No, she did not check Castle Byers. We both jump up and run out of the house immediately.

I'm the faster runner out of the two and I barely manage to hold my balance as I tare the makeshift curtain door. Breathless, I realize that he's not here. I shake my head to Joyce and watch as she has a mini nervous breakdown all over again.

For one moment, for one fucking moment, I stopped and hoped that he is here. And now that he's not… I'm afraid that we're out of places to look at. Maybe a search party…

But Will wouldn't just get lost. He's a smart kid. I know that intelligence has nothing to do with one's capability of not getting lost in the woods or something but I just don't see that happening to Will.

He's not lost. But him being lost is far better than the alternative.

I don't stop and neither does Joyce. Just because he isn't in the Castle does not mean that he isn't around. We call his name, we look for him, we split up and go in different directions. And we still find nothing.

* * *

 **HAVE YOU SEEN ME?**

My hand is shaking as I try to write those words on another poster. We're making as much as we can, we will print them and if Will doesn't return by tonight… well, I guess we will tape them around town.

Jonathan is… calm. I know him well enough to know that it's eating him away on the inside, but he can keep his emotions in check for now. Joyce… isn't doing well. I can't blame her. Considering her son is missing, she's holding up pretty good but… she's not good overall. The moment she finishes a cigarette, she starts another one and she is shaking. Even now, as she's trying to get Lonnie on the phone.

There isn't anything that Jonathan or I can do. That we aren't already doing, that is. I can't tell her to calm down when I know that there's zero possibility that she can do that. I can't reassure her that everything is going to be okay when I know that it might just be empty talk. I have reassured Jonathan that Will is going to be home by tonight and now… I'm not so sure if that's the case.

Shit like this shouldn't be happening to good people. Joyce shouldn't be the one going through this. She works so hard to take care of them and this is how she pays for it? Shit like this should happen to a father like mine, to shake him to the core and realize that he does have children who might need him.

Do we need him, though? I haven't needed him in a while now. Sure, in so many ways I'm still a kid but I'm a kid with a job. A job would give me a roof over my head. I might not live in the same luxury I live in now, but I would sure as hell survive. So would Steve. He might not be responsible as I am, but he's smart enough to get around. We don't need him. It's easier with him but yeah, we don't need him.

"Bitch!" Joyce suddenly yells, making both me and Jonathan jump up.

"Mom."

"What?" she snaps at him.

"You have to stay calm." He tells her in a calming tone.

I leave the poster halfway finished and I grab hold of Jonathan's hand. For a moment, I think that he doesn't really need that kind of silent support but when he squeezes my hand, I am proven wrong.

I don't know what else I can do. I already force fed both of them, I am waiting for them to give me their blessing to drive around town and look for Will some more, but until they agree with that one, I can only help around here and that means… that means that I'm lighting Joyce's cigarettes, holding Jonathan's hand and writing missing posters. I'm of no help to anyone.

I only manage to write Will's name on the paper when Joyce loses it again.

"Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!" she yells, slamming the phone.

"Joyce, easy on the phone," I decide to speak up. "You need it. Someone might call."

I didn't want to say Will, because what are the chances of that happening?

"Mom?" Jonathan calls for her and seconds later, he tugs at my hand. I turn around to find him looking out the window. "Cops."

This time around, Joyce was much faster than I am. She runs out in the speed of light, with Jonathan and me on her tail.

The first bad sign was the look on the policeman's face. Then he got Will's bike out of his trunk.

* * *

 _In my humble opinion, my music collection beats his. I mean, he has some good stuff, but my mixes are just… better. Still, his car, his music. There's only so much I can do here, with limited options. I like Joy Division and yes, I am nodding my head to the rhythm of the song but overall, I have a better music taste. Or I'm just being snobby about music, something that Steve always accuses me of._

" _Shit!" I curse when I drop one of the tapes; The Clash, I think. With one hand holding a cigarette, hanging out the window, I use my free hand to try to feel the floor up but I find nothing; god I hope Jonathan cleans his car often. I bend over, trying to find the fucking cassette when a door slams shut and I jump up in surprise. I turn around, facing a kid who's looking at me in shock._

" _Who the hell are you?" I ask._

" _Who are you?" he asks, looking around. He looks at me and then around the car. Then back at me and at the stereo. Then, once again, back at me. "This is… Jonathan's car, right?" he checks._

" _Oh!" I snap, finally putting two and two together; I scare the hell out of the kid. "Oh! You're Jonathan's brother, right?" I ask, remembering that he did mention a younger brother the other day, but only in passing. We mostly just talked about music and photography and his kid brother is neither a fashion model, nor a rock star, so… "Will, right?" I check, thinking that's the name Jonathan mentioned._

" _Yeah," the kids nods his head. "But… who are you?"_

" _Oh," I chuckle, realizing I didn't introduce myself. I put the cigarette in my mouth, freeing my right hand and I stretch it out to the kid. "I'm Tina." I mumble, doing my best not to drop the cigarette. The kid looks at me like I'm a freaking alien but he still takes my hand and shakes it._

" _What are you doing here?"_

 _Whoever taught this kid, they have taught him well. He's vary of strangers._

" _I'm Jonathan's friend," I tell him, laughing immediately when I see the confused look on his face. "I know, right? I don't think he himself believes it yet but alas, I am his friend now."_

" _Since when?" he frowns at me in suspicion._

" _Since like… three days ago?" I laugh. "I know it's all very sudden but I have a feeling that we were meant to find each other." I act all theatrical, finally making the kid laugh. Good, at least I can crack that icy outside like I did with the older Byers. "Three days is long enough to make his younger brother tell me some embarrassing secrets. So come on, does he sleep with a light on? Listen to Dolly Parton?"_

" _No!" the kid laughs. "He is a cool brother, he doesn't do any of those things."_

" _Oh come on, everyone has something!" I laugh, suddenly invested into uncovering something that Jonathan might wish to keep a secret from me; this could be really fun. "Come on, everyone is weird. I hate clowns and I listen to crappy music every now and then."_

" _You're scared of clowns?"_

" _Don't you laugh at me, kid," I snap, acting as if I am annoyed. "Have you seen them? They're creepy!"_

" _Okay, I guess they are a bit creepy," he agrees, nodding his head. "I'm afraid of the dark. I guess that's a bit embarrassing."_

" _Oh, no way," I shake my head. If I was lucky enough to mention his fear straight up, at least I can stop him from thinking that it is wrong and embarrassing. "What are you, like… 11, 12?"_

" _12."_

" _It's normal to be afraid of the dark when you're twelve. It does get a bit weird when you're 16 though. Now, back to Jonathan and his embarrassing secrets. You gotta give me something, kid."_

" _I've got nothing." He shrugs his shoulders, looking a bit clueless._

" _Nah, you're just a good brother," I chuckle. "If you were to ask my brother, I'm sure he'd come up with something. Even if he would have to make it up at the spot."_

" _Jonathan does like that creepy song."_

" _Which creepy song?" I perk up, ready to prepare material to tease Jonathan until the end of time._

" _The one about watching someone as they breathe."_

" _What the… oh!" I snap, finally realizing. I needed a moment for this one. 'Every breath you take', it has to be that one. "Wait, that's a good song."_

" _It's creepy."_

" _No it's not!"_

" _Yeah, it is."_

" _No, it's not!" I'm starting to get annoyed with his kid._

" _Okay, if you think clowns are creepy, you have to admit that the song is a bit creepy too."_

" _Okay, maybe a little bit," I give in. "It's still a good song."_

" _If you say so," Will shrugs. Ah, so the kid does have a little bit of attitude in him. I like him. "Where is Jonathan?" he asks me and I start laughing. NOW it comes up in the conversation? Now?_

" _He forgot some photos in the school's dark room, he should be here soon."_

 _The very moment I finish the sentence, I notice Jonathan walking towards the car, looking at me and then back at his brother. "Will?" he asks in confusion as he opens the door and peaks in._

" _You forgot that I didn't bike to school today?" Will asks him, looking pretty amused._

" _Well… yeah," Jonathan admits, before looking at me. "I hope you don't mind but…"_

" _Why would I mind?" I laugh. "I made a new friend while you were away. Ain't that right, Willster?" I ask, looking over my shoulder to check if the kid will back me up on this one._

" _Yeah." He responds in a heartbeat. Maybe I did make a new friend._

* * *

"If his bike was in the woods, what the hell are you doing here?" I ask the obvious question.

I just don't know when to shut up. I don't know if it's something I was born with or if I learned it along the way but the point is, I don't know when to keep my mouth shut.

"Who the hell are you?" the policeman asks, frowning. He's the chief; at least it says so on his uniform.

"Um, that's Tina," Joyce waves her hand in my direction. "Jonathan's girlfriend, she's practically family. Are you telling me that there was nothing but the bike in those woods?" she asks, returning the subject to what actually matters: finding Will. Who the fuck cares who I am?!

"No," he tells Joyce. "He had the key to the house, right? Maybe he came home?"

I can't believe it. I should, I'm watching it; the chief of police and two of his deputies are looking around the house, acting as if Will is hiding in a cupboard or something. Talk about efficiency.

"You think we didn't check our own house?" Joyce asks; she's frantic again.

I walk towards Jonathan, leaving Joyce and the cops to it; judging by the way this day's been going, we won't be finding Will by tonight. The hope I had while I was driving here is long, long gone. And I need to figure out what I'm going to do next.

"I need to call Steve," I mumble to Jonathan; I've been delaying that call for long enough. He must be home from school and I didn't want to call earlier. I didn't want to block the line, in case the cops call. But the cops are here, so I might as well just call. "My folks are out of town, I don't have anyone to report to but I need to let him know that I'll be here."

"Tina, you… you shouldn't put your entire life on hold because of this," Jonathan shakes his head. It's so typical of him. Even in a situation like this, he wants everything to be proper. He wants me to be all cool and normal, despite knowing he would be the same if it was my brother that was missing. "You have things to do. You shouldn't… you shouldn't be doing all of this."

"Doing what? I'm just here, Jonathan," I sigh, trying to calm myself down. "I'm not putting anything on hold for this. I mean, what, school? I can survive being away from it for one day. No one's gonna miss me. Not there, not at home. Here, I might actually be able to do something. And if I can't… I don't know, I think I just want to be here for you."

I was house sitting, that's what I was doing earlier. House sitting, making them food and trying my best to calm them down if they needed it. Yeah, as much as I feel useless, I am doing something. And whether or not he wants to admit it, Jonathan needs me. He might not need me as the air that he breathes but he needs someone that's a bit more level headed than him and Joyce are at the moment. I'm not too far from falling into panic mode but I'm still calmer than either one of them.

"Okay." Jonathan finally nods his head and squeezes my hand. I don't have a particular desire to let go of it, but I've delayed calling Steve for long enough.

Despite having two cops in the room with me, I lean on the wall, pick up the phone and dial my home number. I don't hang up for a long time; I know my brother well.

"Hello?" Steve answers, a second after I decide that I should hang up.

"Hey, it's me. Will still hasn't been found. I'm probably going to stay here tonight."

"Really?"

I can hear the doubt in Steve's voice. I thought he would be a bit more compassionate, considering that a kid has gone missing but once again, it's proven that I had put too much faith in my brother.

"Yes, Steve, really!" I yell and it's a good thing that I did because I can hear loud laughter. "Steve, are you having a party? Really?"

"Your boss called."

"Shit!" this time around, everyone in the house turned to look at me. I was supposed to work today and I am… two hours late for my shift. "I'm going to call him."

"Do whatever the hell you want to do."

"Are you being a dick because that's your natural form or because that kiss ass friend of yours can hear what you're saying?"

"I'm not-"

"Fuck you, Steve!" I slam the phone, despite warning Joyce not to do the same just minutes ago. I don't take the time to calm myself down; I have a job to save. With shaky hands, I call the store. "Mr. Green, it's Tina."

"Tina, where the hell are you?"

"Mr. Green, I am so, so sorry," I close my eyes and hit my head on the wall. This is not going to end well for me. "I'm sorry, I should have called you earlier but I had… I had too much on my mind. A boy went missing and I stayed behind to help the family and he's still missing and I can't come to work today."

"I didn't know you were related to the Byers's, Tina," Mr. Green tells me. "I'm sorry about everything."

"We're… we're not related. Will is my boyfriend's brother."

"You didn't come to work because a boy you're not related to is missing?" he asks and I can hear the judgment in his voice. "Your boyfriend's brother?" he asks. I never even liked the fucker.

"Yes," I confirm, trying to ignore the boiling anger. "And I won't be able to work until he's back."

"Are you serious?" he asks. Why the hell didn't I light a fucking cigarette before starting this conversation?! "I can't have a worker who will disappear whenever some random kid decided to play a prank on his family! That is responsibility at its finest, Tina! I expected more from you!"

"Oh yeah? How's this for more: I quit!" I slam the phone, nearly knocking it off the wall. Jonathan starts walking my way and I shake my head. No, he needs to leave me alone right now. I need a moment of silence, a moment of peace in all of this. I go to his room, close the door and sit on the bed.

I just need silence. Silence, to get a chance to sort my thoughts and I'll be up and at 'em in a matter of minutes. I just need one moment, one moment of thinking that this doesn't mean that everything is falling apart, rapidly. Just one moment.

* * *

I snap when I feel something on my shoulder. I blink rapidly, the lights blinding me for a moment. Shit, I must have fallen asleep. Jonathan covering me with a blanket was what snapped me awake.

"Shit, I'm sorry," he tells me in a low voice. "Go back to sleep, you need rest."

"How long was I out?" I ask as I ignore his words and sit up; I've kissed sleep goodbye the moment my eyes were open. And now, I remember all the shit that has happened since he called me this morning. "Did they find Will?" I ask. And I am not surprised when Jonathan shakes his head. I am very disappointed but I am not surprised at all.

"You were out for a couple of hours," he tells me as he sits down on the bed next to me. "We found nothing but they are organizing a search party, with volunteers and everything. I wanted to go but mom said that both you and I should stay put for now. I think she doesn't want to… risk anything."

"Risk what?" I ask him in confusion. I might not truly buy the theory that Will got lost but I know that Joyce does. If she thinks that's what happened, why the hell would she think that Jonathan and I are going to get lost, especially if we are together? It makes no sense but I can't blame her for not thinking straight in a time like this. "What do we do now if she doesn't want us out there?"

"We wait," Jonathan shrugs. I haven't even realized that he isn't really making eye contact with me. Instead of looking at me, he's looking at the floor. "And tomorrow, we can go around town and tape the posters around. And then… I don't know what we do then."

He is on the verge of a proper meltdown; I can see it on his face. My options are limited and I decide to do the one thing I really can. Hug him. It takes him seconds to break down in tears and that just… breaks my heart even more. He is broken. While it warms my heart that he is letting me see him and help him, I can only focus on the fact that he is absolutely broken and that I don't know what I can do about it.

"Jonathan, it will all be okay."

I can't even claim that we will find him, not anymore. Despite how much my heart wants to believe in it, I can't be certain in those words.

"Tina, it's my fault," he pulls away from me. "It's my fault! I left him alone. All those times, you told me not to do it. You and mom, both of you were like broken records and I didn't fucking listen!"

"Jonathan, no," I shake my head but he moves away when I try to hug him again. "Jonathan. Jonathan, fuck not listening to me before, listen to me _now_!" I growl at him and this time, I have his attention. "This is not your fault, you hear me? Bad shit happens every day Jonathan, and… we can't avoid it all the time. At one point or another, in one form or another, bad shit finds us, bad shit happens to us. And no matter what you think, it's not your fault. You're not to blame for the bad shit that just… happens!"

"If I was at home-"

"Nothing would have been different," I interrupt him. "We don't even know if he was here to begin with! Nothing would have been different and it is not your fucking fault. Do you hear me?"

The phone startles the both of us and we jump up, completely dumping our conversation.

"Will?!" Joyce yells into the phone. Jonathan and I look at each other and he rushes to her. "Will? Will? Baby? Will?!"

A spark flies from the phone and she drops it, shaking her hand as if she got burned. But she's shaking completely. I watch, speechless, as Jonathan starts to bang on the phone and to calm her down, while she repeatedly tells him that she could hear Will breathing.

I run back to Jonathan's room and I close the door, leaning on it with all the strength I have in me. Before I know it, before I could stop it, before I even comprehend the whirlwind of emotions that is about to hit me at full speed, I start crying. I start and I don't know how to stop.

I don't know what to think. I don't know what to do.

And I don't know why things like these happen to good people.


	13. I Do Believe (I Fell in Love)

**Well, here's a new one. Didn't think I'd finish it on time but hey, I'm full of surprises. The only song I have for this chapter is the one that played in the Mrs. Wheeler scene in S2E9 :D This is still spoiler free for season 2 but those who've seen it will know the scene *wink wink***

 **Anyways, I really need to hear what you guys think about this one. There's that one thing Jonathan did that was kind of creepy and I tried to go around it a bit so… let me know what you think about what I've done with that one, are you happy with the changer or not, was it too much?**

 **All in all, let me know what you think!**

 **And THANK YOU for your continued support! Love every single one of you! :)**

 **1) Donna Summer - I do believe (I fell in love)**

* * *

I was eight years old when our family dog died. Buster had been around since I was a toddler and I loved that golden retriever more than words could say. It broke my heart into million little pieces when he died and I was crying all night. Until at one point I just fell asleep, too tired from all the crying.

I was twelve years old when I managed to hurt my neck while doing a somersault. To this day, I'm not quite sure how I managed to do it, but I was pretty banged up and lucky at that; I could have broken my fucking neck. I had to wear a cervical collar for an entire week. I am still traumatized by that, seeing that I was made fun of because of it, because teenagers. I wasn't allowed to take it off at all, which proved to be quite a bitch when I was trying to sleep. I would toss and turn, all night long, cursing everyone to hell and back, starting with the teacher that made me do a second somersault even after I told him that my neck hurts. I couldn't fall asleep for the life of me but at one point, exhaustion would take over me and the next thing I know, I'm awake and it's morning.

I didn't have that moment last night. As exhausted as I was, I could barely shut my eyes. Too exhausted to talk or do anything, not exhausted enough to actually fall asleep. My thoughts kept me up all night. And I wasn't the only one. Jonathan spent the entire night lying close to me, his breaths tickling my neck and his arms firm around me, but we barely spoke. And Joyce… I don't think she managed to shut her eyes for one fucking second. The storm that was raging all night long did not help us at all.

He has been missing for more than 24 hours. I was worried from the start, properly worried, but I have a horrible feeling that the strongest worry, colored with panic, is yet to make an appearance. And I'm not even the one that is affected by this the most. Joyce… I don't know how she functions.

"Now what do we do?" my voice is cracking from not being used in hours. I know Jonathan's awake, I know by his breath. I think he managed to doze off for a couple of minutes during the night but now, he's wide awake and just as I am, he must be afraid to face the day. I know I'm petrified.

"I'm not sure," he tells me. I slowly turn around to face him. He has a blank expression on his face but I am not surprised by that. "I guess we will have to go and tape those posters. But I'm not sure what do we do after that. Maybe you should go to school?" he asks and I shake my head. "You already missed one day, Tina." He tells me.

"So what?" I ask him. My voice is no louder than a whisper.

"You don't have a job anymore."

"So what?" I ask again. Compared to the alternative, which is leaving him alone and not helping them in any way… it was never an option for me. Yes, I am putting everything else on hold and no, I see nothing wrong with it. I know all too well that if the roles were reversed and Steve was missing, Jonathan would be by my side, just like I am by his. He's not going to make me change my mind.

I haven't paid much attention to his face, did I? I mean, when I realized that I like him… no, that's not even right. I didn't even realize that I like him before we were kissing. But when we kissed and after, when I realized that I had butterflies freaking out in my stomach, it was all about the chemistry between us and… I don't know, who he is as a person.

I mean, I know he's cute. I was well aware of that from day one but cute doesn't always mean attractive, certainly not attractive enough to get me to where we are now. And now, staring at him, despite all the shit that is going on around us, I can't stop myself from thinking that I did luck out. He's kind, he can be really funny and I honestly think that he's incapable of treating me in a bad way. Even when we were acting like complete fools, he still reached out enough to be my friend again. And he has the kindest face ever. These eyes can probably read me better than I'd like.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" he asks. Yeah, that has to be the only sentence that could make me blush. I think I would react better to 'you're super-hot' or something like that. This is just so genuine and innocent and he says it without the trace of doubt in his mind and I want to look away in embarrassment but I can't move my eyes away from him. "I should tell you that more often."

"I'm hardly counting, Jonathan," I manage to chuckle. "Don't stress about things like that."

"No, I know you're not. But I mean it. It's just that even now, saying it is… difficult. And weird, I guess."

"I don't want it to be," I tell him, inching closer to him. "I know exactly what you mean because it's equally difficult and weird for me to hear it. But you're my best friend. You should be able to tell me anything and I should be able to hear it. And vice versa. So yeah, I think you're super cute."

I didn't know I had a goal, not until he actually smiled and started laughing. Making him laugh, albeit briefly, in the shithole of a situation that we are in… it will go down in history as one of my greatest achievements.

"Well, if I can find the courage to tell her that you are beautiful, I guess I can find the courage to tell you that I'll be going to see Lonnie later today."

I'm not that surprised, honestly. I've seen the look on his face when Joyce was trying to get that shithead on the phone. Despite wanting to stop him, I can't do it. For one, it's not in my power to stop him. It wouldn't work and we would only get into a fight. Secondly, it might be something he has to do. Whether it's to make sure that Will isn't with him or to finally finish that chapter, it might be what he needs. And last but not least, as his girlfriend I have zero authority to stop him from going anywhere or doing whatever the hell he wants to do. Hell no, no way. I'm not going to be one of those girls. I'm going to be in the other group, the group that gives rational advice and watches as he makes his own choice.

"Jonathan, that could end up being a bad idea."

"No, it is a bad idea," he shakes his head. "It's a horrible idea but I need to make sure that Will is not with him. I won't believe it unless I see it for myself. Please don't tell mom about it."

"I won't," I shake my head. Not only do I don't have a particular desire to betray his trust but I also don't want to add more worries onto Joyce's mind. It's horrible enough as it is. "Do you want me to go with you?" I ask. It has to be his call. If he needs me there, I'll even make fucking sandwiches for the road.

"I think I have to do it alone."

"Okay," I nod and I kiss him. I wish that we can stay here longer, that we could kiss all morning and then some, but just because we have managed to have a moment without worry strangling us, doesn't mean that the worry isn't ready for a second attack. He's the one who pulls away and I smile when he puts a strand of hair behind my ear. We just… stare at each other for a couple of seconds. "We should get up. See if the police know about the call, see if Joyce needs anything, get to the copy store…"

"Thank you."

"Jonathan… if you thank me again, I swear to god, I will dump you and continue helping you anyways."

Well, it's 2:0 for me; I actually managed to make him laugh twice.

* * *

The rational part of my brain agrees with Chief Hopper. A prank call. That's all it is, a prank call. Will was on the news and someone saw it and decided to have fun because… sick sons of bitches get off on things like that. And the fried phone… it's the storm, what else could it have been? It makes sense.

But Joyce doesn't think so. She thinks she heard Will, she thinks that Will is in danger and despite what the rational part of my brain is telling me, I can't help but feel that a mother should know. If anyone should know, it should be Joyce. The only problem is that Joyce kid is missing and she thinks he's in danger. She's hardly calm and rational and the way she's presenting it…

Well, if I was on the outside looking in, I would think she's nuts. But I'm not on the outside, I'm right next to her and I don't know what to think.

I can't even ask Jonathan what he thinks about it.

"Okay, so, I'll tape these posters around the middle school and you'll do the high school?" I check as he parks the car. "We'll regroup. Whoever's done first, joins the other one, okay?"

"Yeah." He nods; I reach out and grab his hand.

"Head held high. We'll find him. We'll find him."

I need to stop saying things like that, when I don't know if I even believe in them or not. But we need to do everything we can. That's the one thing I'm sure of. Everything else can come into question but we are not going to give up, that's for sure.

No one gives me a second look as I walk around the middle school and stop by every bulletin board to attach the poster. The whole town knows by now. Come to think of it, putting posters in the school Will goes to is pretty useless. These kids know what he looks like, they see him every day. They all know that he is missing and they are probably on lockdown because of it; every parent should be freaking out, if they already aren't. I suppose that leaving these posters as reminders is a way to cover all roads.

"Tina." A voice startles me and I breathe a sigh of relief when I turn around and see Dustin and Lucas.

"Hey guys." I force a small smile their way.

"Did you find anything? About Will?" Lucas asks me.

Talking to them about Will is pretty much as painful as it is to talk about it with Joyce and Jonathan. The four of them were like joined by the hip. And if they were apart, for whatever reason, they would always talk about each other. God, how many times did Will tell me about their adventures? They are more like brothers than friends. This must be hell for them, just as it is for Jonathan and Joyce. And me, I guess.

"Nothing after they found his bike yesterday," I tell them and watch as the tiniest traces of hope leave their faces. "They're still searching for him all around. We're taping posters and then… well, I don't know. But we'll keep looking. How are you guys holding up?"

"We want to help, but one's letting us." Dustin complains.

"Yeah, for good reason," they look surprised at my words. "Come on guys, Will is missing, it's bad enough as it is. The last thing we need is you running around. What the hell would we do if something was to happen to you? If one of you got lost as well?"

"You sound like an adult." Lucas sighs, rolling his eyes at me.

"Yeah, because I kind of am," I point out the obvious. "Look guys, this is… this is a very bad situation. Please, don't make it even worse. Just… do your own thing. Go to school, be with your families and let us find Will, okay?" I ask and it takes a moment before they both reluctantly nod their heads. Why do I have a feeling that my words have zero effect on them? "Guys, where's Mike?" I ask, finally realizing that the group of four is currently a group of three.

"Sick."

"Late for school."

First rule of lying. First and easiest rule of lying: if you're lying with someone, agree on the lie.

"Which one is it?" I ask in suspicion. "Guys, I swear to god, if you're meddling around, trying to find Will on your own, I'll skin you all alive. If something happens to one of you as well, I swear to god-"

"Tina, we're not doing anything," Lucas interupts me. I don't know if I trust this one. When they did their little Halloween prank on me, Lucas was the best liar in the group. "We want to, but we can't. And Mike is late because he's not feeling well. He'll show up if he feels better. Jesus Tina, no one's lying!"

"If I catch you running around…" I even lift my finger in warning. "Just be safe. Be fucking safe."

"We will, but you need to chill." Dusting tells me, giving me a weird 'chill down girl' look.

"No, I need to finish putting up these posters and you need to go to class. I'll see you guys later." I basically usher them away. No, I don't buy it. They're probably up to something but even if I'm right, what can I do? Finding Will is the priority.

I leave the school when I run out of posters to tape; I literally stopped and hung one at every single corner, just in case. I allow myself a short cigarette break, but I'm too restless to actually stay outside and finish it. I walk to into our school, hoping to find Jonathan before one of the teachers spots me; I am skipping, after all. But I'm also lucky, because I spot Jonathan at once; he is hanging a poster and talking to Nancy Wheeler. And wherever Nancy goes, my brother follows. He doesn't see me but I see him, just as I see the way he and his friends are looking at Jonathan. Pity and… I don't even want to know what else is there, but it's enough to make me angry.

"Everyone's thinking about you." I catch the end of Nancy's pep talk as I walk over towards them.

"Yeah, especially my brother," I mumble, making both of them jump in surprise. This time around, Steve notices me. I look his way but his expression is unreadable. However, Carol's raised eyebrows when she eyes me up is enough to push me over the line. Her judgmental look annoys the shit out of me. I know I look like crap, I know I look like a person who's done a lot of crying and didn't get one minute of sleep the entire day, but given the circumstances, I believe even the trendiest girls of Hawkins High could find it within their power to forgive me. Luckily for my self-esteem, I don't give a shit. And luckily for Carol, I only have strength to direct a middle finger her way, before returning my attention to Jonathan and Nancy. "If you have a brain, you'll stay away from them." I say to Nancy.

"Steve is-"

"Steve is my brother," I interrupt her. "If anyone knows him, it's me. You're too good for him. He might not be as bad as the other two dickheads but trust me, you don't want that in your life."

For such a Goodie two-shoes, Nancy sure does know how to look pissed. Completely ignoring me, she turns to Jonathan. "Will's a smart boy. I'm sure you'll find him."

She turns around and goes to join Steve and his merry group of friends.

"Let's just go before I get into a fist fight with someone." I mumble to Jonathan, who at this point knows me well enough to just grab me by the hand, keep his comments to himself and walk away with me.

We drive around in silence, pretty much until he parks in front of my home. I turn around to face him, dead serious.

"If you change your mind, call me," I order him. "If you have doubts, turn around and drive back here. And call me when you get home. Okay?"

"Yeah," he nods his head. Just when I think that he's going to thank me again for things he should not be thanking me for, he pulls me in for a kiss and this time, the kiss lasted longer than the ones we've managed to share during the last 24 hours. I pull away, not wanting to stop him or distract him or anything like that. "Could you check in on mom? Call or go to her or something?"

"I'll call," I nod my head. "If I go there, she's just gonna wonder why you're not with me. Stay safe and call me as soon as you get home." I order him before I close the door and watch him drive away.

* * *

I was staring at the phone for the last 10 minutes, not moving my eyes away from it. I did all that was possible to delay the dreaded phone call. I did the dishes, I made lunch, I cleaned the house because Steve's an asshole who could never do any of those things by himself. I prepared coffee for myself and I even waited for it to cool down; I always drink it cold. I chain smoked and delayed it for as long as I could but now it feels like the phone is staring back at me. I uncrumble the piece of paper I crumbled earlier and I call the number that is written on it.

"Hello?" I speak up when the receptionists picks up the phone. "Could you connect me to room 127 please? I have to speak to Mrs. Harrington."

"One moment, please."

I want to hang up; I want to do it more than anything but I can't. By the time I gather the courage to start moving the phone away from me, my mom answers.

"Hello?"

"Mom, it's me."

"Tina," she sighs. "Do you have any idea what you've made me do?" she asks. Oh, she's pissed. I imagine dad's nowhere near her. "First you don't go to school for two days! Then Steve tells me you didn't sleep at home! I had to call in sick for you and lie to your father!"

"Oh, Steve mentioned that, didn't he? Did he also mention about the party he had?"

"Tina, he didn't stab you in the back. He tried to cover for you but he couldn't really come up for 20 different excuses when I wanted to talk to you every single time!"

"Oh, I'm sure he tried," I roll my eyes. I can't even think about him right now. "Yeah, I slept over there. Will is still missing, Joyce is losing it and Jonathan doesn't know what the hell he's supposed to do. I was helping them deal with a missing child, not sneaking around with my boyfriend!"

"I know that but your father doesn't!"

"Mom, I don't care what he thinks," I give up. "I don't care what he says or what he thinks. He can't tell me what to do, not anymore. A child is missing, a child I care for and I'm pretty sure rules don't apply in a situation like this!"

"He is still missing? Did they find anything?"

"His bike in the woods, but that's it," I sigh. "Look, mom, you can tell dad the truth as far as I'm concerned. You can also call the school and tell them that I'm not sick. I really do not care. But until Will is found, he will be my priority, helping Jonathan and his mom will be my priority. I have to go now, I have to call and check in on Joyce. I don't know where I'll sleep tonight."

"Fine," she reluctantly agrees. "I'll cover for you."

"You really don't have to, mom. I don't care what he thinks."

"I do," she replies. Well, isn't that a problem? "I hope you manage to find they boy."

"I'm sure you do."

I don't think I've ever had the courage or opportunity to hang up on her, but I had both now. The last thing I want to deal with right now is her and dad and their entire existence and behavior. I'm sick of it on a normal day, and this is far from a normal day. Not to mention that my energy is so low, I can only bitch and roll my eyes. I am physically incapable of doing anything else. Except checking in on Joyce. No matter how tired I am, no matter how much I need some sleep, I need to check in on her.

Her plan was to buy a new phone but for all I know, she didn't replace the fried one yet. I give it a try.

"Will?!" she answers on the first ring and… my heart just breaks.

"No, it's… it's Tina."

"Oh, honey," she sounds very confused. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, I'm just… at home, waiting to do something. Do you need any help? Anything at all?"

"Tina, you need to get some rest," she tells me. Even now, with her kid missing, she has the energy to act motherly towards me. How she does it, I will never know. "You've been on your feet along with us. We can only wait now, so get some rest. Okay?"

It's obvious that she wants to end the conversation as soon as possible but she's too nice to say it to me like that. She probably doesn't want to keep the line busy but she's also well aware that she shouldn't be taking it out on me. I promised Jonathan that I would jump in but… I don't know what I can do. If I go there and try to pry the phone out of her hands, if I try to rationalize with her and say that it's just some bastard pranking her, I'm afraid it'll just backfire.

She needs to believe in it. If she needs denial, I'm not going to be the one that will try to snap her out of it. Besides, she might not be wrong. Maybe Will is calling from somewhere, from some cabin or something and the signal is bad. I don't know but I can't blame her for believing in it.

"Okay, I'll try to get some rest," I give in, knowing that all she really wants right now is to end the call. "Call me if you need anything, anything at all. Okay?"

"Yes. Thank you. Goodbye, Tina."

I am still staring at the phone when I hear the front door open; seconds later, I am met with Steve's judgmental look.

"Where is mom's car?" he asks. Shit, I left it at Jonathan's place this morning.

"It's… it's at the Byers. I'll pick it up tomorrow or something," I shake it off. The car is the last of my worries right now and I will definitely have it parked in front of our house before mom and dad return. "I made lunch, it's on the stove if you're hungry. I need to get some sleep."

"Is the kid still missing?" he asks me. I walk past him and climb up the stairs.

"Would we be taping those posters if he wasn't?"

"A couple of people will come over tonight." He informs me.

"Of course they will," I laugh in disbelief. "God forbid that Steve Harrington has some consideration."

* * *

It takes me a moment to realize that I'm actually in my room; Jonathan's presence confused me.

"Steve let me in," he tells me as he closes the door behind him. "I wasn't aware that you were sleeping, I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay," I rub my eyes as my thoughts sort themselves in order. "How did it go with Lonnie?"

"Not good," he sighs as he sits down on the edge of my bed. "But Will isn't there, so I guess we know that now."

"I'm sorry," I mumble as I switch my position so that I'm leaning onto him and he hugs me. "Do you want to stay here tonight? Do you want me to go with you home? What's your call?"

"No, you need rest, you haven't stopped since I called you," he shakes his head. "I just wanted to see you and drive the car back to you. I think I'll go to school tomorrow. You want to?" he asks and I nod my head, because if he's going, I might as well go too. "Then I'll see you there tomorrow. I'm going to… look through the woods a little bit."

"You should go through the backyard," I tell him. "This isn't too far from the place where Will's bike was found. Maybe you manage to find something they'd missed. Go through the backyard."

"I'd rather not crash their little party."

"Huh, understandable," I smile. "Be careful, okay?"

"I will," he reassures me. "See you tomorrow." He leans over to kiss me. I swear, if the kiss lasted one second longer, I would not be willing to let him go. But he stopped just on time and he left.

I really should have considered joining him, because I could not fall asleep now. Music was loud and they were all yelling and shouting. I consider going down and telling them to shut the fuck up but I don't do it. If I do that, I would never hear the end of it from Steve. And I would rather ignore him than make the fight even worse than it already is. And it's really, really bad.

My brother's a dick. Newsflash, Tina. He always was a dick and probably always will be.

I jump when I hear a scream but it is followed by a splash and Carol's bitchy voice. I need to stop jumping up at every scream I hear because Carol isn't in danger; Carol's an idiot.

Not having anything better to do, I light a cigarette and play some music. It's kind of nice to be a normal teenager again, even if it's just for a few minutes. Soon enough, I will be a girl whose boyfriend's baby brother is missing. Tomorrow, it will go right back to insanity. Actually, it's still on insanity. Here I am, doing nothing, while Will is god knows where. But what else can I do? What can I do?

Even my 'feel good music' cassette isn't making me feel any better. I don't know what the hell I was thinking when I was making this mix tape, because a ballad by Donna Summer isn't exactly something to bring a smile to your face. She can sing about falling in love as much as she wants to, I'm still not in the mood for anything.

With a sigh, I walk over to the window and open it; a smoker I might be, but I'd rather not sleep in a bubble of smoke every single night. I'm surprised when I don't see the pool empty; despite the music, I heard them all in the house, but one person stayed behind. It's Barbara, the girl that always hangs around with Nancy. Of course Steve's almost girlfriend is here too.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see movement. My heart skips a bit but I realize it's just Jonathan; he's in the woods and he gives me a small wave. He must have listened to my advice after all. I smile at him and roll my eyes when he flashes his camera in my direction. Even from a distance, he can annoy me with it.

Oh god no. Him plus Donna Summer singing about falling in love… crap.

Am I though? Is that what this is? It would explain the way I've been acting lately but it doesn't explain just how… afraid I am of being close to him. I like it and I need that but I'm afraid of it. And it's not just my fear of him getting closer to my heart. I actually think I'm afraid of physical closeness.

Good god, I'm afraid of sex, aren't I?

I'm not. I can't be. That's… Jonathan. I know him. And it's not like he has made it his life's mission to get into my pants. We're taking it slow. And even if we weren't, that's Jonathan. He's literally the only person in this world that I would trust with anything. I would trust him with myself.

I have no idea why I'm doing with this or what the fuck I'm trying to achieve, but I do it anyways. I look away from him and I start unbuttoning my shirt. One by one, before I let the shirt fall of my shoulders.

"Why the fuck not?" I mumble to myself as I pull my tank top over my head. I finally look to where Jonathan is and I nearly laugh. He looks terrified. From what I can see, he does relax a bit when I smile at him. And this time around, he uses the camera. The idiot just took pictures of me in my bra! "So you want a show, huh?" I talk to myself again, before reaching my hands to my back to unhook my bra. Yeah, even from here I can see how Jonathan lost all color in his face. I laugh as I unhook the bra but then I turn around. I take it off and I keep my back turned towards Jonathan.

I don't know why the hell I'm acting like this but at least it's fun to see him freak out like that.

I walk away from the window. The show is over for tonight. And I have no idea how the hell I'm going to face him tomorrow. And I doubt Donna Summer is going to help me with it.


	14. Fire Of Unknown Origin

**Yeah, I keep warning you about not updating every day and here I am :D  
Well, if I write, I might as well post too.  
One playlist song: **

**Blue Oyster Cult – Fire of Unknown Orgin**

 **As always, thank you so much for your super kind words. I hope you like it and if you do, you know the drill. Follow, favorite and review. Pretty please? I'm dying to know what you think!  
Enjoy! :)**

* * *

"Since when does your boyfriend drive our mom's car around?"

With Steve, I don't even have the time to get some caffeine in my system; he doesn't give me a chance to have a proper wake-up before he starts acting like an ass. I ignore him; at least he had the decency to pour me a cup of coffee that had already cooled down, meaning I can drink it at once. That's the only good thing about this shitty morning. Well, that and the fact that we're alone, so I get to play some Blue Öyster Cult before eight, without anyone yelling at me to lower the volume.

How can he be such an ass and pay attention to the littlest things at the same time? I all but forgive him when I see that he has annoyed expression, obviously waiting for my explanation.

"I told you yesterday, I left the car at his place," I shrug my shoulders. "You know, Steven, it's about time you grow up. I am with him. He is going to be around. Whether you like it or not."

"No problem, Christina," I roll my eyes at his use of my full name; no one's called me Christina since I was six. Not even our parents when I get in trouble. "I'm just going to sit back and watch as he ruins you."

"Oh my god Steve, are you even listening to yourself?" I yell; I can't even control myself anymore. "Ruin me how? How is he ruining me when I'm… fucking happy with him? How is that bad for me? And before you say anything about me skipping school because of him, I didn't do it because of him! I did it because of his brother. I did it because of a kid I care for, a kid that has a family and they are desperately trying to find them. You don't have to care for Jonathan, or for Will. But care for me, care for your sister. This is obviously bothering me and you acting like you don't give a shit is not helping!"

"I'm not acting. I actually don't give a shit."

"Wow," that's all I can say. Well, I can come up with a few words but insulting the shit out of my brother isn't the first thing I want to do in the morning. "Let me just tell you this. If Nancy's brother was missing and you were freaking out like I am, not that that could ever happen, I would be there for you. I would be there for her, despite not being sure if I even like her or not. And that's the difference between the two of us. I'm actually a decent human being and you're… a poor excuse for one."

"Nancy isn't a freak."

"Okay, let's do it differently this time," I sigh, pausing to take a sip of coffee before I continue talking. "I'm not going to get all emotional and defend Jonathan. I just want you to tell me why you think he's a freak. What did he do that made you think he's a freak? What is so freakish about him?" I ask and I watch with joy as Steve obviously struggles to find an answer to such a simple question. He was ready for me to defend Jonathan; he wasn't ready for me to ask a rational question.

"He… he doesn't talk to anyone."

"Bullshit," I laugh. "He talks to me. He does more than talking."

"Tina," Steve warns me, which only makes me laugh harder. "Tina, he is not good for you."

"Well, I happen to think he's just fine for me. Now what?"

"You know what, maybe you are right," he changes his mind suddenly. "Maybe the two of you are perfect for each other. A freak for a freak, right?"

"If you think I'm going to get insulted by you calling me a freak, you're really going to have to work harder, Steve," I laugh. If there is anything that I have learned over the years it's that nothing annoys someone more than when you laugh in their face. I know it would sure as hell annoy me but I don't have a moral issue with using that trick, at least not on my brother. "If not liking your friends and not wanting to hang out with them makes me a freak… if being with a quiet, brooding guy makes me a freak, be my guest Steve, call me a freak. At least I have one person that wants to be around me because of what I actually am and not because of what I'm pretending to be. Can you say that too?"

"Whatever makes you sleep easier at night, Tina."

That's what Steve does when he doesn't have anything to support his opinions with. I'm one lucky chick to have enough self-esteem to take hits like these. I'm far from overly confident. In fact, I don't know if I'd even use the term confident to describe myself but… I know who I am. If insults are lies, it's easy to just ignore them and move on with your life.

"Steve, can we leave this argument for later? I have a pretty good feeling that Jonathan and I will be together in a couple of days too and right now, there's a missing kid that we need to find. I would appreciate it very much if you would find someone else to annoy, at least until Will is found."

Finally, fucking finally, Steve doesn't have a comment. I take it as my opportunity, I finish the coffee and I'm out of the house, making a mental note to thank mom for letting me take her car because if I had to go to school with Steve today, I would have stabbed myself with a fork.

* * *

"Hey," I smile at Jonathan when he leans on the locker next to mine. "Any news?"

"No, not yet," he tells me. Fucking hell, it's been two days. What are we doing here? Why are we at school, we should be lifting every stone in Hawkins in the search of Will. "Hopper said they will search by the quarry today. No one's giving up but the more time passes the more worried I am."

"Of course you are, Jonathan," I frown; I mean, it makes sense. Time passes and panic rises. It would be super weird if he was getting more relaxed. "It's going to be okay. If they don't find him today then… we will look again tomorrow. And again and again and again. Okay?" I ask and squeeze his hand. He forces a smile but I can tell that he's not quite there. "How is Joyce doing?" I ask him.

"She is not doing well at all," he tells me, looking suspiciously around him. "I can't talk about it here. Lunch? My car?" he asks. Wow, it must be pretty bad if he doesn't feel like the dark room is private enough. I don't question him on it; he's not the paranoid kind. If he's paranoid, there's a reason.

"Okay," I agree. "What about last night, did you find something in the woods?"

"No, nothing related to Will but I think I did see more than I should have." He gives me a pointed look.

Oh. I was definitely not expecting him to comment on that little moment. Color me surprised.

"Yeah, I guess I didn't really think about what I was doing," I admit. I did it in the spur of the moment. "But I do have to say that I don't… regret it. Sorry if I traumatized you." I add, smirking.

"No! No, you… didn't," oh bless him, he's blushing. Then again, I'm probably as red as a fire truck myself so who am I to blame him? "It's just… we should talk first and…"

"Let's find your brother first," I interrupt him. He might be a teenager but I doubt that his hormones are crazy enough to forget that until we find him, Will should be his first and only priority. "Will is all that matters. After that… we will see."

"Yeah."

We're screwed. We are going to find Will, life will go back to normal and we'll be in big trouble.

* * *

When he said we had to talk about Joyce in total privacy, I knew that things are bad. I couldn't even imagine just how bad they are. I think I was silent for a minute or two before I found the ability to speak again. All of this… it is just so wrong. It should not be happening.

"She thinks that Will is talking to her through the lights?" I ask. I can't believe I'm asking such a question.

"Yes," Jonathan sighs and does something I did not see him do before; he leans over to reach the glove box and takes out my spare pack of cigarettes, which I have kept in his car pretty much since day one. I watch in surprise as he lights one; once I see his hands shaking, I'm not that surprised. "She's losing it. This is not the time for her to act like that."

"Jonathan, her son is missing. Can you blame her?"

"I'm not blaming her at all," he shakes his head, pausing to focus on the cigarette. "I'm not blaming her. I get it. I am… I am not doing okay either but she is really losing it, Tina. She's going crazy."

"She's not going crazy," I try to reassure him but I'm not so sure I'm doing a good job. Talking to a light bulb isn't exactly the definition of sanity but I can't say that to him. Besides, Joyce isn't too far gone just yet. "She's trying to deal with Will being missing. I get that it's not the most rational choice to choose but I don't expect a mother with a missing kid to be rational. She's going to be a bit crazy until we find him but when we find him, Joyce will go back to normal. Everything will go back to normal."

"And what if we don't find Will?"

"Jonathan, don't say that."

"I have to say it!" he snaps and I see his hands are starting to shake again. "It's been two days. Two days and all we have is his bike. Nothing, we have nothing! And there's nothing I can do about it and it's going to drive me crazy! Soon enough, I'll be thinking that the light bulb is talking to me!"

"Jonathan," I reach out for him but he moves away from my hand. "Jonathan!" I shout and this time, he looks at me. "You can't afford to think like that. I'm not going to let you think like that. Yeah, realistically, it's an option that we won't find him. I know that, you know that, even Joyce with her lights knows that. It's a possibility. But we can't… we can't afford to think like that. Will only has the two of you. Yeah, he has his friends and yes, he has me too but deep down, it's only the two of you. And if the two of you give up hope, if _you_ give up hope and start to think that you will never see him again… You can't do that. You can't do that to Will. You are his big brother. He needs his big brother and his big brother will find him."

I can't keep on saying crap like that. I might believe in it wholeheartedly but if we do not find Will, he will remember that I have reassured him that we will, multiple times. I doubt he would attack me for it, but it would sure as hell leave a bitter taste in my mouth. On the other hand, how can we not be a little unrealistic? What kind of people would we be if we just gave up on that boy? On that poor boy that could be freezing to death or wondering around the woods, wondering why no one found him.

"Leave Joyce to the lights. If that's what keeps her hopes up that Will can be found, let her do it. I'm not leaving you two alone again. After school, we'll go and search for him ourselves, okay? And tomorrow, we will do it again. We can't afford to waste time anymore and that's what we're doing here."

"Okay," he nods his head. I think I managed to calm him down, at least a little bit. "You have one class more than I do, so I'll wait for you here, okay?" he asks and I nod my head. I kiss him and when I pull away, I ruffle his hair, just to make him feel a bit better. He does manage to crack a smile.

"I have to run, I have an English test," I tell him and I give him another quick kiss before jumping out of his car. I make my way towards the school, not wanting to be late. I didn't study at all. I've obviously had other shit on my mind, but hey, it's the thought that counts. I'll show up and do my best and hopefully, I won't fail. And if I do, I'll fix it. For someone who hates studying, I'm pretty darn good at it.

* * *

"Tina!" I freeze in place when I see Nancy running towards me. My first thought is that something had happened to Steve, but that disappears when I notice Nancy forcing a smile. "Do you have a moment?"

"Yeah, sure," I mumble in confusion. "What… can I help you with?"

"I know you were sleeping last night," she tells me as she follows me down the hallway. I'm happy to talk but walking and talking is multitasking everyone is capable of. Jonathan is already waiting for me. "But is there any chance that you… saw Barb leave or something like that?" she asks.

"Actually, I was in and out," I tell her. "She was in the backyard when I… had to open my window. I didn't see her leave, though. I just went back to bed after that," I shrug. I suppose I could ask Jonathan about it but I'm pretty sure he left immediately after I stepped away from the window. I might not know Nancy well but anyone can recognize a worried look. "She probably just bolted."

"Yeah, it's not that," Nancy frowns. "She didn't show up for school today."

"Maybe she's just skipping school?" I suggest. I'm pretty sure every student in this high school did it once or twice. "Did she drink last night with you guys? Maybe she has a hangover?"

"Come on Tina, you know Barb," Nancy sighs. "She doesn't drink and she doesn't skip school."

In fact, I do not know Barb. I think I spoke to her a couple of times but it was always related to school. I had a few classes with her but we were far from friends. I mean, she seems like a cool person but we never really got to talk about anything properly. I wouldn't know the things Nancy just said. The only thing I know about the girl is that she's Nancy's friend and that she's pretty smart; that's it.

"I don't know," I shrug, not wanting to brush Nancy off like I did yesterday. I was annoyed with my brother and she did not deserve it. She doesn't deserve now. She is clearly worried about her friend. The least I can do is be nice about it. "I didn't see her leave. Don't worry too much, if she's not skipping she might be sick or something." I tell her.

"She's not," Nancy shakes her head. "I called her parents. They thought she will sleep over at my place and she didn't. She didn't come home last night." She tells me. I stop in my tracks at once.

"Nancy, you need to tell someone," I tell her. "Call the police, tell her parents. Will's missing, if Barb is missing too…"

I can't even finish the sentence. This is bad. And it's getting worse by the minute.

"You're right, something bad could have happened," she tells me. "I'll tell her parents. They'll call the police or something. If she doesn't show up soon."

"It's not my place to give you advice but you shouldn't wait too long, Nancy," I tell her. Normally I would keep my mouth shut, but it just so happens that in the last two days, I have been dealing with a case of a missing person. A very dear person at that. "Will has been gone for two days now. Trust me, don't wait for too long," I tell her as we walk outside. The worry on her face is evident and I only feel more guilt for the way I've talked to her the day before. "Look, what I said about Steve… he can be a jackass when he wants to. But he can also be a good dude. I guess he's good when he's with you. I guess that what I'm trying to say… don't listen to a bitchy sister. He's a better guy than I present him to be."

"I know that Steve can have his moments," she smiles at me. "But he has been nothing but good to me. And I understand the sibling relationship. I hate Mike in the morning and adore him by noon."

"Yeah, that fits the description," I laugh. "He can be the best big brother when he wants to."

"He cares about you, you know?" she asks. Oh brother, I hope he didn't have a heart to heart with her about me and the troubles of being a good brother. "Especially now that you're…" I look at her in confusion when she suddenly stops, mid-sentence. She raises her eyebrows, looking away. "Uh, Tina?"

I look in the way she's looking and it doesn't take me long to find out the reason for her sudden pause. Carol, Nicole, Tommy and Steve are all standing around Jonathan. Like a pack of fucking hyenas.

"Ah, fuck!" I rush their way, with Nancy on my heels. Is this going to be one of those idiotic scenes from movies where two girlfriends have to jump in-between to stop a fight? It could very well be, if Jonathan was the fighting type. Which he's not. Nah, they're cornering him, it's obvious from their positions.

"What the hell is going on here?" I ask as we finally reach them.

"And here comes the staring lady!" Carol laughs. "Were you giving your boyfriend material to play with afterwards? He sure was saving this one for later!" she laughs as she slams a piece of paper to my chest. The only thing stopping me from slamming it back into her is that I don't know what it is. My blood runs cold as I look at it and realize that it's one of the photos from last night.

"This freak is stalking all of us," Steve speaks up, looking directly at me. "He's taking pictures of you while you're changing! Are you still going to defend him?!" he yells at me. I look over to Jonathan, who is staring at the ground. I don't think I've ever seen him more uncomfortable.

"Steve, stop it!"

"I'm not going to stop it!" he yells. "He's a sicko! He's a creep! Look at this Tina!" he waves a photo.

"Yeah?" I ask, grabbing the photo from him and looking at it. I have my back turned in that one. I grab a photo from Tommy's hands; I'm in my bra and looking directly at the camera; bingo. "Look at this, Steve. Look!" I all but push the photo into his face, pointing at myself. "Does this look like someone who doesn't know she's having her picture taken?!"

"Ah shit, where's the full frontal then?" Tommy laughs. And this is Steve in a nutshell. Instead of defending me, the only thing he does is glare at his friend. Yeah, I'm done with Steve at this point.

"He wasn't stalking you, you bunch of self-centered dicks!" I yell; I've done the impossible. I've actually managed to leave Carol speechless. "He was looking for his brother! I told him to stick close to the house, his brother's bike was found nearby! And he took the photos because he wants to be a fucking photographer! What do you think he'd do with them? Post them? Have a fucking exhibition?! You're a bunch of self-centered dicks, all of you. And you're the worst of all." I add, looking directly at my brother. "I knew he was taking those photos, Steve. Live with that."

"How about he lives without his little toy, huh?" Steve asks.

"No, please not the camera-"

"Don't you dare do that," It says a lot about me that Tommy stood before me and not Jonathan to stop us from getting to Steve. "Don't you dare do that Steve. Don't even think about it."

"Really?" He chuckles. "Well, your boyfriend can relax. Here," Steve offers him the camera. Jonathan reaches out for it but I just wait for it. I know my brother. I know who he is and what he can do. And I am not surprised when a very expensive camera, probably the most important and expensive thing that Jonathan owns, hits the ground.

"You son of a bitch!"

I was never a particularly aggressive girl. Sure, I have a mouth on me and I don't exactly pick words with much care, but physical aggression? That was never my style. And now I know why. I was never angry enough to attack someone. That camera matters to Jonathan. He is one talented photographer and that is his tool. It's also super costly and he works shifts whenever he can because he needs every single dollar he can get. And my brother, my dick brother, who never needed anything in his life, who never worked a day in his life… not only did he embarrass him in front of these dickheads, but he broke the camera. He broke it, very theatrically, because he is nothing more than a piece of shit.

I don't know who grabbed me and pulled me away from Steve but I do know is that they did not grab me on time; I slapped him with all the force I have in me and as I am finally set free, I watch the aftermath; they all look at me in shock and Steve has a hand on his cheek, his mouth open in shock.

It's not about Jonathan being my boyfriend. It has nothing to do with it. It's about Steve, Steve being a proper bully, Steve being mean just because… I don't even know why. I wasn't defending Jonathan. He's not a kid, he can do that for himself. I wasn't defending him, I was just attacking my brother.

"You better not speak to me again." I manage to utter, despite the anger that's boiling in me.

I have a list of threats I could name and use but I don't want to get down on Steve's level. I've already caused a scene with the slap, I'm not going to talk too. I will save that for a different time, but the bastard better sleep with one eye open because I will make him pay for this. And I literally have a whole list of things that could help me do that. He picked the wrong person to make an enemy out of. As his sister, I know way too much. And he knows it. Oh, he knows it. I can see it on his face.

"Come on, let's go," he shakes it off, like he always does. "The game's about to start."

I watch as they walk away but I keep my mouth shut, not wanting them to hear anything. As soon as they turn around and leave, Jonathan jumps to check his camera, to see if it can be salvaged. I stare at Steve's back as he's walking away but I can see from the corner of my eye that Jonathan dropped the camera. Steve broke it beyond repair. He looks directly at me when he turns around. "Nance, come on!"

I didn't even notice Nancy staying behind. Our eyes meet as she gets up from the ground.

"I take it all back."

I don't need to go into details, she knows exactly what I mean. I can see it on her face, as she looks at me and Jonathan before she turns around and walks away. At least she knows what kind of dick her boyfriend is. It's better than she found out now; it took me 16 years, give or take a couple of weeks.

"I am so sorry," I fall down to the ground as soon as Steve isn't around to see us. I grab the camera, despite knowing that it's… yeah, it's broken beyond repair. I look at Jonathan, who is just staring at the broken thing. "Jonathan, I am so sorry. It's my fault. I never should have-"

"No," he suddenly looks up at me and reaches out to caress my face. "It's not your fault, Tina."

"It is," I sigh, feeling as if I'm on the verge of tears. "If I… you went back there because I told you and then I let you take those photos and it's all my idea, my fault and-"

"Tina," he interrupts me, turning my head so that I look at him. "It's not your fault your brother is a dick. You… neither one of us could have predicted this. I'll just… I'll save to buy a new camera."

"No you're not," I deadpan. That's out of the question. "My brother will buy you a new camera. I'll make sure of that, even if it's the last thing I do. And until he buys it, you'll use my camera." I reach out for my bag; I always take the darn thing with me, but now it should go into more deserving hands; Jonathan is a far better photographer than I could ever be. Not to mention that the guilt about this will eat me alive.

"I can't," he shakes his head at once. "I can't do that, I-"

"You can and you will," I insist as I take the camera and put it into his hands. "I have a spare one, it's only two years old. You won't be leaving me without a camera. Just… please. That's the least I can do. Just take it. Please."

He must really like me, if 'please' works so easily on him.

* * *

We were supposed to spend the entire afternoon looking for Will. And that's kind of how it started. We got into his car, we got to the woods but I broke down in tears before we even got a chance to get out of the car. Jonathan hugged me and tried to calm me down. And it's been like this for… an hour or something like that? I stopped crying but I needed a moment. We needed a moment. We didn't even talk; we just sat like this in silence, hugging each other.

Too many things happened all at once. Steve being a douchebag, Jonathan losing his camera, Joyce going slightly insane, Will is still missing… it's too much. It would be too much even for someone stronger than me. I should have known that this break down was just around the corner. At least I was with Jonathan when it had happened. And I think he needed a little break too.

"I can't believe you hit Steve."

"Really? Cause I can," I mumble in response. "This was just the last straw. Everything he ever said to me, even if I did shrug it off, it was piling up. I was collecting it and I didn't even realize it. And what he did today… I just snapped. I get that it was the wrong thing to do but it wasn't. I'm not making any sense, I know."

"No, you are," Jonathan shakes his head and looks down at me. "I just don't want you to get into fights with him because of me."

"It's not because of you," I reassure him. "If anything, he's just using you as an excuse. I've been following his lead for as long as I can remember. I would justify anything he'd say. I'm not doing that anymore. I'm not a kid and I don't need my big brother, not if he's going to be a jerk. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I don't want to think about it either. I can't."

"You do know that at some point you're going to have to talk about it?" he asks, giving me a pointed look. "Not with me but with him. He might be an idiot but he's your brother."

"I know," I roll my eyes. "But I don't have to do it now and I do not plan to. If I go to him when I'm still angry, I don't know what's gonna happen and god knows what he could say to me. I don't want to see him, talk to him or go home. I'm staying with you and Joyce again. If that's okay, that is." I add. For all I know, having me there might just be the last thing they need at this point.

"Of course it's okay," he smiles at me. "Do you want to go home? Get some clothes or something?"

"I have clothes, I'm wearing them. I want to find Will. So let's do what we planned to do in the first place." I suggest; Jonathan stares at me, probably trying to assess if I am calm or stable enough. I guess that I am, because he nods his head. Find Will. Everything else… it just doesn't matter.


	15. Total Eclipse of the Heart

**Okay, warning. This is a dark chapter. It's dark AF. I don't think there's a single uplifting moment in it or something that would make you smirk. But yeah… it'll go up and down, you know the story.**

 **There's only one song here, the title of the chapter, so:**

 **Bonnie Tyler – Total Eclipse of the Heart**

 **Also, I have officially given up and will include songs from beyond 1983 BECAUSE I CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF AND THEY'VE USED OLDER SONGS THAN THAT IN THE ACTUAL SHOW! Sorry. Moment over.**

 **So… thank you, as always. Thank you for reading, thank you for following and more than that, thank you for reviewing, you make my day and make me want to write even faster. So, follow the same drill and make me happy guys :D And let me know what you think! See ya soon (prob tomorrow)**

* * *

We walked through the woods the whole afternoon. We walked through the woods in the dark. We even walked through the woods when our flashlights died. We went against common sense, all to find Will or anything, literally anything that could lead us to him. And we found nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I just don't know what else we can do. That's the problem, all of us, we have done everything that we could, absolutely everything. I don't think there's a stone left unturned in Hawkins. We can't give up, that goes without saying but what the fuck can we do now? Where can we go? Where can we look for him, what can we do? If he stays… out there, for one more day? I don't even want to think about it. If he is out there in the woods, he must be freezing and starving and probably thinking that no one is looking for him, because if someone is, they should have found him by now. It's making Joyce crazy, it's killing Jonathan and I'm starting to think that it's killing me too. I didn't even realize how much I adore that kid, not until this shit happened. I just want us to find him. That's it, that's all I want.

"Tina, what the hell are we going to do now?" Jonathan asks. He is just as clueless as I am but how can I help him when I don't even know what to think? How can I help if I need help myself? We need help.

"I… I really don't know," I admit. "But what we can do for tonight is to go back to your house, make sure Joyce eats and gets some sleep and by tomorrow, we will have something figured out."

"Will we?" he asks. Okay, he's under a lot of stress and today has been a particularly shitty day in a whole row of shitty days. If he needs to let it all out somehow, I might as well volunteer to be his punching bag for the day. I know that he wouldn't be taking it out on me if the situation was different. But his mom is not doing so well, his brother is missing and my dickhead of a brother broke his most prized possession. He deserves to vent and I'm going to take it. "I don't know what to do anymore. Why are we not finding him? Where is he?!"

I keep my mouth shut. If I try to reason with him, it probably won't end well. I just remind myself that he's not angry with me, even if it seems to be that way.

"What more can I do? Where the hell is he?! Why are we not finding him?!" he yells but I still show no emotions. No way. I'm not going to reason with him, I'm not going to argue. I will keep my mouth shut for a few minutes and when we get to his home, we will talk it out. As soon as he calms down, we'll talk it out. We're almost there and…

"Jonathan, stop!" I yell. Joyce! Joyce is running directly towards us, directly towards the car. Jonathan slams the breaks a few feet away from her. The headlights shine directly on her and even from here, I can see just how shaken she looks; she's in tears and she looks really scared. Before I can say anything to Jonathan, he jumps out of the car.

I have to look away. When he starts hugging her and both of them start crying, I look away. I feel like an intruder, like I should not be seeing this or being here. I am not a part of their family and this is not my place. As much we all act like it is, it's not. I should not be here, my place is elsewhere.

They cry and I cry too, looking away from them, not wanting to intrude in any way.

The sound of police sirens makes me jump up. I turn in my seat, trying to see what the hell is going on behind us, but with the tears in my eyes and the dark around us, it takes me a moment. I see the lights first. More than one car, more than one cop car is on its way. I turn to Jonathan and Joyce and I open the window as fast as I possibly can.

"I'll drive the car, you go with them!" I yell and Jonathan nods.

"No!" Joyce yells; I have never heard her yelling like this. "Don't go into the house Tina!"

"I won't," I yell back at her, hoping that will reassure her. She doesn't look too calm, but I hop over to the driver's seat nonetheless. I go in revers to avoid the two of them but I stop the car right next to them. "I won't go in." I reassure her again and this time around, she nods her head. I only give Jonathan a quick look, but it's enough for me to see that he's one step away from panic.

It only takes me a minute or two to get to the house. When I promised Joyce I wasn't going to go inside, I didn't exactly mean it. Now, while I stand in front of it, I am feeling uneasy. I don't know why, I can't explain it. Maybe it's because Joyce and her reaction or because it's so dark. I don't know, I really don't. Despite planning to walk inside like it's nothing, I wait by the car and light a cigarette.

I watch in shock as they park the cars and run into the house, led by the chief who has his gun out. I turn to Jonathan and Joyce, that are just stepping out of the police car and I run to them. "What the hell is going on?" I ask. Why the hell are they raiding the house?

"That thing," Joyce frantically shakes her head. "That thing that was… it was in the wall and it came after me and I think that it has… it has Will and-" I watch in shock as she runs into the house. Jonathan's staring at the ground but I can see tears building up in his eyes. I can't blame him. This, this has become too much. Thinking that she heard Will's voice over the phone, that's one thing, but this?

"Come on." I grab his hand and I pull him towards the house. We get in there just as Hopper is trying to calm Joyce down. The three other cops that marched into the house with them walk past us and they go outside. My eyes go wide as soon as I see the state of the house. Christmas lights are strung everywhere, every wall, the ceiling, all the way through the hallway. There must be… 20 different sets, hanging around the house. Jonathan's grip on my hand tells me that he hasn't seen this before, that it's as shocking to him as it is to me. On one wall, the one above the sofa in the living room, I see letters written in black paint, in-between the lights. The whole alphabet.

He was talking to her through the lights. She really… she really believes in it.

"Joyce, the house is empty," Hopper tells her. He turns around when he hears Jonathan and me walk around, still holding hands, looking at the state of everything. I turn to Hopper and the look on his face… I grip Jonathan's hand with all the strength that I have in me. "A state trooper found something in the water by the quarry," he tells her in a low, calming voice. If there ever was a moment in my life when I was absolutely sure that my heart is going to fail me… it's this one. I look at Jonathan. He's staring at me, teary eyed, as if he is asking me if I'm hearing this to. What can I say? "Joyce, I'm very sorry."

I feel his hand shaking and I squeeze it even harder. That's all I can do. The only thing I can do now is to hold him, as my brain is working around the fact that Will is… he's dead. That beautiful, smart boy is gone. He is gone. We will never see him again, that sweet…

"Our working theory right now is that Will crashed his bike… he made his way to the quarry and uh, accidentally fell in. The earth must have given way," Jonathan suddenly grabs me and hugs me as tight as humanly possible, as if he is holding on for dear life. I can feel him sobbing into my neck and while I hold onto him too, I look at Joyce. She is… not crying. She's not responding, she's acting as if she's not even registering what Hopper is telling her. She is in full and complete denial and her son is falling apart into my arms. Can anyone blame her? Her other boy is gone. "Joyce? Joyce? Do you understand what I am saying?" Hopper asks, still keeping his tone gentle. Jonathan starts shaking and I hold him even tighter as he continues sobbing.

"Whoever you found, it's not my boy," Joyce shakes her head. "It's not Will."

"Joyce-"

"No, you don't understand," she sounds very calm and sure of what she is saying, which makes the whole thing even more eerie than it was to begin with. "I talked to him a half hour ago. He was here, he was talking with these," she grabs a tangled string of lights that was sitting on the coffee table. Jonathan lets go of me at once, turning to see what she's talking about. I felt sadness before but watching Joyce like this, it just got magnified. Really magnified.

"Talking?"

"Uh-huh," she nods her head. "One blink for yes, two for no. And then I… I made this," she points at the wall alphabet. "I made this so that he could talk to me. 'Cause he was… he was hiding. He was hiding from… that thing."

"The thing that came out of the wall? The thing that chased you?" Hopper asks and she keeps nodding her head, once again looking like she's going to break down in tears. Before I can stop him, Jonathan walks over to her and holds her by the shoulders.

"Mom, come on, please. You've got to stop this."

"No! It's after him!" she starts to panic again. "We… We have to find him!"

"What exactly was this thing, some kind of animal?" Hopper asks her.

"No, it was, it was almost human but it… it wasn't. It was… It had these long arms and it didn't have a face," she mumbles. Jonathan turns around and runs past me. I want to follow him, I do, but his door slammed so hard and Joyce… I look at her and she's already looking at me, wide-eyed and in tears. She is shaking and I watch as Hopper slowly guides her to sit down.

I can't help both of them, I can't be here for the both of them. Hopper… he will know what to say to her.

Jonathan needs me. And knowing Jonathan, he's not going to say it. He's going to try to fight it and I can't let him do that. I run down the hallway and I just march into his room, without knocking or signalizing in any way that I am about to come in. He doesn't turn around. He's sitting on his bed and he doesn't even turn around because he knows it's me.

I crawl onto the bed and I throw my arms around him. I was crying all along, without even realizing it.

"He's gone. Tina, he's gone!"

"Shhh!" I turn him around and I pull him closer, letting him cry on my shoulder as I cry on his. "Cry it out. You need to cry it out. You need to-" my voice breaks and I start sobbing along with him. I want to be the thing that he can hold onto, I really do but the moment I stop to take a breath, I realize that Will really is gone. I remember that kid I used to dance with, the kid that rooted for me and Jonathan, the kid that couldn't harm a fly. And he's… he's gone. Fucking hell, he was only 12 years old.

How can I comfort Jonathan when I'm falling apart myself?

"Will is dead. He's never coming home again!"

Oh god no. No, no, no. Hearing him say it like that, hearing his voice breaking as he tries to talk between sobs… I didn't think my heart could be any more broken than it was when I realized what had happened but every word coming out of Jonathan's mouth, ever sob, it's all testing me and it hurts like hell.

"I am… I am so sorry."

I'm not holding him anymore. I'm not trying to comfort him, I'm not trying to make it seem like it's not the end of the world. I can't do that. I can't do that when I'm falling apart, when I'm starting to feel like it's the end of the world. We hold onto each other, we comfort each other and we cry because that's the only thing we can do. We didn't find him. We lost him and now… we cry.

* * *

I have no idea what time it is. It is dark and it is quiet but it was dark and quiet ever since the police left us. Neither one of us heard Joyce but then again, for a long time, we were just sobbing and crying.

Even now, as we lie on the bed and look at each other, we don't stop crying. Tears… they don't stop. Even if we're calming down a little bit, tears aren't stopping.

"What am I going to do with her?" he whispers but I can hear the pain in his voice. "She's…"

"She's in denial," I tell him in a low voice as I reach out my hand to caress his face. "She's… this is her way of dealing with things. It might take some time for her to accept that Will… You need to be here for her. You need to help her, to step up and be… god, I can't believe I'm saying this but you need to be the man of the house. She needs you now more than ever, even if she doesn't know it."

"I don't know if I can do that."

"I don't think you're going to have an option," I sigh. I feel bad, I feel bad for telling him all of this but he needs to hear it, just as he needs to hear that I will be here for him, every step of the way. "You're going to step up and… do whatever needs to be done. But you're not going to be alone. You hear me? I'm going to be right here and you're not going to go through this alone. I promise."

"I don't know if I could have… you've been here from the start. Helping me, helping her, looking for Will… You didn't have to and you did it anyways. And you're still here. I don't know if I can do this without you."

"You don't need to find out, okay? When I promise something, I mean it."

"I'm going to have to take mom to the… to the morgue tomorrow."

"I'm going with you," I reassure him. "And I'll help you around with the… arrangements," I can't say the word funeral. I just… I can't. "But right now, you need to try to get some sleep. I know it might not work but you need to because you're going to need all the strength you can get."

He nods his head and pulls me closer. I feel uncomfortable as hell but I could never move away. I'm not used to sharing a bed with someone and even though we shared the bed before, it's going to take me a while to get used to it. Besides, he was hugging me from behind that time and now we're facing each other and with his arm as my pillow, I just can't feel comfortable. But I don't move. Moving away, moving out of his arms, it would be even worse.

Despite telling him that he needs sleep, I couldn't get that into my own head. Actually, I could. I know I need sleep, I know that tomorrow, I'm going to regret having a sleepless night but I just can't. If I close my eyes, I just see Will. I see Will smiling, I hear him giggling and I remember just how much he was loved by his family. And by me. I will miss that kid more than words could say but I need to make sure that his mom and brother handle this. I don't know how I plan to do that.

I'm not good with grief. When my grandmother died, I was too young to realize what the hell was going on. I was too young to go to the funeral, only nine. But my dad didn't care. His nine and ten year old had to be there as he laid his mother to rest. He only cared about himself and he did not even stop to think how that could affect me and Steve. I don't know how much I could have learned from that but maybe I could have known something that I don't know now. I don't know how I can help them deal with it.

Jonathan… he understands. It is horrible and I know it hurts him more than he could actually say but he knows what is going on. Joyce is in complete denial. I don't know what will happen once she realizes that no one made it up, that Will is actually dead and not… running away from the monster in the wall.

When Jonathan's breath steadies and I realize that he is sound asleep, I manage to squeeze out of his arms. By some miracle, I do so without waking him up. I slowly get off the bed and I tip-toe to the chair in the corner of the room, where I threw my jacket earlier. In a matter of seconds, I fish out my pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Slowly, careful not to wake Jonathan, I walk out of the room and I close the door behind me. I don't hear Joyce and I assume that exhaustion took care of her. Not knowing where else to go, I make my way to Will's room.

I remember the first time I was in this room. Jonathan, Will and I were sprawled on the bed and we were listening to Bonnie Tyler. Jonathan and I kind of got into a fight, because I was defending the song and he claimed that 'Total Eclipse of a Heart' is a super cheesy song. I was defending my girl Bonnie, despite knowing that the song is kind of cheesy. And Will was just… laughing at us.

The only light inside the room is the one from the outside lamppost, coming through the window. I walk to the window and open it as I lean on the edge of the desk. I know that he is not coming back and that the smell of smoke in his room is not going to bother him but still, it feels wrong. If he was still here, I would open the window. I need to have it open now too.

He had so much life in him. God, he was just a kid. Anyone else, anyone older. Me, Jonathan, Joyce, anyone else would have been a better option. It would still be bad but we saw more, we did more. His life had only just started. At 12, you only begin to discover who you are as a person. You go from a kid to a teen and you start to form opinions, likes and dislikes… He will never have a chance to do that. Will is never going to have a chance to grow up and become his own person because life fucking sucks!

Out of everyone on this planet, it had to be him?! I remember my mom asking me why I don't want to go to church with her anymore. It happened about two years ago and she thought it was a teen craze, she thought I was following Steve because not much earlier, he said the same thing. From her point of view, it looked as if a little sister is following her big brother. But when she had asked me about it, I told her that I don't know what to believe and that I don't want her to choose it for me.

" _Tina? Tina! I'm right here! Tina!"_

After that remark, she didn't ask me to go with her, not one single Sunday. In hindsight, it was a good call. I know I don't believe in a God that takes children away from their mothers and brothers. I don't believe in anything that could look down at a child like Will and decide to cut his life short.

" _Tina! Please Tina, see me! Tina!"_

I turn around to throw the cigarette out of the window, even if I'm only halfway finished with it, when I jump up in surprise. A lamp turned on. On its own.

I don't move, I don't turn around, I don't do anything. I just stare at the lamp.

" _Tina, I'm here! I'm right here! Please Tina, see me!"_

I didn't touch it, I was nowhere near it. I keep on staring and suddenly, the light bulb starts to flicker and my hear starts beating faster. This is… this is what Joyce was saying earlier, about flickering lights. Could it… no, no way. But the light is still flickering. I take a deep breath and slowly turn to the wall to my right; nothing. There's nothing on it, nothing in it and certainly not a human like monster coming through it.

"Will?" I whisper. I had to. I just… I need to cover every field. I mean… stranger things have happened. If Joyce is not alone, than maybe…

" _Yes! Tina, it's me! I'm right here! Tina!"_

"Will?" I call, just a little bit louder. Nothing happens. And seconds later, the light from the lamp dies.

I stay. I stay in place for one more cigarette. Walking away would be foolish of me, I need to make sure that… I don't know, that I'm not going crazy along with Joyce? But nothing happens. I've been standing her for at least 15 minutes and the light flickered only once. If it had happened again, maybe I would… I don't know what I would do or what I would think. But it's electricity. It's not Will. Will is gone.

Two phones were fried. Lights were flickering before, Joyce pointed it out multiple times. With so many Christmas lights strung around, maybe Joyce managed to overpower the generator or something. I don't even know if overpowering the generator is a real thing, I know electricity as much as I know rocket science. I did see a light flicker and it did not flicker again. It's the electricity. And I need to sleep.

Tomorrow is going to be a very long day. I need all the rest I can get. Jonathan's going to need me tomorrow and Joyce is going to need the both of us.

" _Tina, please, I'm right here! Tina! Come on, see me! Tina!"_

I need to… I need to find something to wear for the funeral. I'll probably have to plan the whole fucking thing with Jonathan. Which sounds almost idyllic. Who wouldn't prefer planning a funeral for a 12-year-old over planning a surprise birthday party or something like that?! Planning a funeral for a 12-year-old is going to end up being one of the highlights of my life, no doubt about it!

I'll have to plan it, I need to find something to wear… I need to make sure Steve doesn't starve to death. Actually, no, he can starve to death for all I care. I have to call mom and… Oh god, why is this ending not happy? Why? And I'm the one who has it easy! Jonathan lost his brother! Joyce lost her son, son that she gave birth to, bathed and fed and…

I touch the lamp before I leave the room; I touch the one lamp that flickered. Nothing happens. It's not Will. I understand why Joyce thinks that it is, why she believes in it wholeheartedly. The truth is a far worse option for her and I can't blame her for it. But it's an electricity problem. It's not Will.

" _Tina, turn around! Please! I'm right here, just turn around! Tina! Tina!"_

* * *

I made a very good call last night. Joyce was asleep in the living room, with a fucking axe in her hands. If I woke her up in the middle of the night, I don't even want to imagine what could have happened. By pure luck, I avoided startling a woman with an axe.

I forced some coffee into both her and Jonathan as we got ready for the day. Ready for the day and ready for the morgue. I have a whole list of things I need to do and unfortunately, for most of them, I have to go home. Luckily for me, I won't have to stick around for long. I'll be able to help Jonathan and Joyce with everything. And after… I don't know what the hell I'm going to do after.

The coroner had to talk to Jonathan and Joyce first and we were warned that it will take a while. I didn't pose any rules or say that I wouldn't do some things but Jonathan must have known what seeing Will like that would have done to me. When I asked him if he wants me to join them, he shook his head. I was glad for that. I was hoping for that. But I would have gone with him, if he had wanted me to.

But just as I know him, he knows me. So I ended up with Chief Hopper, in front of the morgue, sharing an awkward silence. At first, I thought he was frowning at me because I'm an underage smoker and he's a cop, but after a while, I started to suspect that it's more than that.

"How long have you been with Joyce's boy?" he asks me.

"Um… a week," I say; I actually chuckle when I see the look on his face. "I know, I know. But we've been close for longer than that. I've known them for longer than that."

"It's pretty clear that both of them rely on you."

"Well, I would have relied on them, if the situation was reversed."

"You're Harrington's girl, aren't you?" he asks and I confirm, nodding my head. Now I get why he was staring at me like that. He wasn't sure whose daughter I was and he was probably trying to realize if I look like one of his former classmates. And in fact, I do. I'm more similar to mom but then again, mom was his classmate too. The Harringtons were proper high school sweethearts. "Joyce is going to need her son. And he's going to need you."

"I know," I nod my head. "That's why I'm here. It's just… I can't help wonder why. Why does bad shit happen to good people, why do kids… It's not fair. It fucking sucks."

"Yeah, it really does."

"Do you really think he could just fall into the quarry?" I ask him. He almost immediately gives me a suspicious look. I wouldn't be surprised if he was expecting me to start talking about lights and things that come out of walls. "Will was a smart kid. If he fell of his bike, even if he had injured himself in some way, he would not have gone towards the quarry. He would have gone towards the road or towards his home. Going in the opposite direction makes no sense. Will… he would not have done it."

"He would if he banged up his head and he didn't know where he was going," Hopper tells me. I mean, I guess. If I had no idea where I was going, I might have ended up near the quarry. Same goes for Will. He might have been a smart kid but a hit in the head is a hit in the head. Oh god, I hope his body is okay. If he's banged up, ugh, I can't even think about it. "We should go inside. They're going to be out any minute now and my guess is that they're going to need you there."

I nod and step on my cigarette before following him inside. He talks to the receptionist as I pace around the waiting room. My mind is all over the place but it doesn't take me long to find a single thing to worry about. And it's money. I don't know how much a funeral can cost but I'm afraid that it isn't exactly cheap. I'm not thinking about it in a practical way. Will… Will deserves more than this but since this is what he gets, the least we can do is to give him a proper goodbye. I'm not sure if their budget can handle it and I'm not going to ask that question. I could never do that to Joyce.

I have my college fund. Mom and dad have been saving money for when Steve and I finish high school, so that we can use it if we decide to continue with school. I don't know how much money they've managed to set aside for me, but I suppose it can cover a funeral. And if Jonathan and Joyce feel bad about accepting it, I don't know, they can pay it back, little by little. I don't care about that money, I would give it away gladly and _never_ ask for it to be returned but I'm not sure how well would that sit with my parents. Especially dad.

I need to get them something to eat, or take them out somewhere or something. Joyce barely managed to hold down the coffee from this morning but she needs to eat. And I think that she needs to get out of that house for a little bit. If she keeps waiting for the lights to light up or from something to jump out of the wall, staying there is not a good idea. But what can I get her to do? How do I get her out of there?

I jump up in surprise when the door suddenly opens; I barely get a chance to turn around when someone slams into me with all the strength in their body. I realize it's Jonathan; his smell and his hair and everything about him. It takes me one second more to realize that he is crying, even more than last night. He is falling apart.

"It's him, it's really him Tina!"

Seeing Will like that was a bad idea from the start, but it's the only thing that could get Joyce to believe in the fact that Will really is gone. But it's also the thing that pushes Jonathan of the edge.

What can I do? Really, at this point, what can I do?


	16. Who Can It Be Now?

**Well, no playlist for this one :(**

 **I hope I managed to change it up and keep it interesting, even if it's canon territory now. As always, thank you for your kind reviews, especially to those who I couldn't respond to over PM's. It really means SO MUCH to me, you have no idea.**

 **I'll have a new chapter ready for you tomorrow :)**

 **Until then, let me know what you think, I'm dying to hear it. Also, read the final AN, I do have a bit of info but it would be a spoiler if I write it here, so…**

 **Yeah, follow, favorite and review. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy the chapter! :)**

* * *

"Jonathan, don't chase after her," I urge him as he takes a sudden left turn, driving as fast as he can to catch up with Joyce. I don't even know if he knows where she's going. Hell, I don't even know if Joyce knows where she's going! She ran out of the morgue, refusing to sign papers, saying that is not her son and Jonathan, Hopper and I… I guess that we weren't surprised. Jonathan ran to his car, I followed him but I wasn't expecting him to go all race care while trying to find her! He is angry. "Jonathan, just… let her go. Please. Don't make this worse than it already is, I beg of you!"

"She can't act like that!" he snaps as he looks around; at least he slowed down. On the bright side, we probably won't crash the car. "Will is dead! She can't act like that, she needs to face it."

"And you need to calm down because if you scream at her, you'll only make it worse!" I yell. The only time I ever yelled at him before was when we had that massive showdown for Halloween. And this is a whole different showdown. He needs to calm down. He can't act like this if she's not stable.

"I won't scream at her," he reassures me but I do not buy it. "There she is! Roll down the window," he tells me. I sigh and despite knowing that this isn't going to end well, I listen to him. "Mom! Get in, please!" at least he's not rude. I stare blankly ahead. I want the car seat to swallow me whole because this is not a conversation I want to intrude on but yeah, that is not happening.

"No, I, I, I, I need to think. You two, just go on home."

"Mom, will you just get in please?" he begs her but she just shrugs it off and keeps on walking.

"Jonathan, don't," I try to stop him but he doesn't listen to me. He stops the car and runs after her and I just bang my head on the dashboard. He is not listening to the one thing I am trying to get through his thick skull. Joyce isn't doing well. And if he tries to shake her out of it, if he attacks her for it, it can only get worse. I'm not saying that he should feed her madness or go with it, but in my mind, it's kind of what they say about sleepwalking. If you force someone awake, it can be really bad for them. If you gently guide them back to bed, they're just gonna go back to sleep again. He can't shake common sense into her. Her son is dead, there's no space for common sense in her mind, not right now.

I can see they have a screaming match going on but thank god, I can't hear it. I can't interrupt that, I can't. I can only wait here and hope he didn't damage it beyond repair. I light a cigarette and look around, look everywhere but at the two of them. That's when I see them.

Lucas, Mike, Dustin and a girl, all four of them on bikes, with the girl riding behind Mike. The moment I see them, I remember that they have lost Will too. Those kids just lost their best friend.

I jump to the driver seat and I open the door, ready to call out for them, but they're already too far from me to yell after them. I'll have to talk to them at some point, all three of them. I don't know who the girl is, they never mentioned her, but if she was Will's friend too, I need to talk to her as well.

Adults don't get it. They expect you to deal with death like they do. I was younger than they were when my grandma died and I didn't know shit about it. If their folks are anything like my father is, I don't think they'll help them in a proper way. I can give it a shot. Not that long ago, I was in their shoes.

I don't say anything when Jonathan gets back into the car. I keep my mouth shut because not only do I not know what to say but also because I think he needs a little bit of silence. My suspicions are confirmed as he hits the steering wheel, once, twice, three times. I say nothing but I do grab my pack of cigarettes out of my jacket and I light one, before handing it to him. He takes it.

It's kind of like him and Joyce, me and him. He can't shake her awake and I can't shake him awake. He knows he shouldn't pressure her. I literally could not make it clearer to him. I'm the calmer one out of the two, just as he's the calmer of the two between him and Joyce. He doesn't need me to patronize him and I doubt it would actually do him any good if I do. I can only hope that this outburst of anger was just a vent. He needed to get it out of his system and now he can move on with it.

"Where do you want me to drive you?" he asks as he throws the cigarette out of the car window.

"School," I tell him, earning a confused look. "I'm not used to having a car around, even if it is temporary. I left it in the parking lot after school when I went with you. I'll drive it back to my house."

"Do you want me to pick you up or will you drive?"

"Pick me up," I nod my head. "I don't want to forget the car someplace else and we're going to be together anyways. You can pick me up in like… an hour, tops. If you don't have anything else to do, you can follow me there and wait inside."

"I'd rather not face your brother today," he mumbles. I can't blame him for that one. If I could, I'd prefer to avoid Steve too. He should be at school so I hope I'm lucky today. "Besides, I need to go to the graveyard and… set it up with them. Then I have to go to the funeral home and-"

"I'll go with you."

"You don't have to do that."

"Yeah I do," I disagree with him. "Don't question it, Jonathan. Just… go with it. I'm not leaving you to go through this shit alone, so you'd better get used to it."

He doesn't respond to that at all, he just starts the car. I need to give him space. He needs to maneuver his own way around it. Sure, I'll be right by his side but some things, he just needs to do on his own. One of them is to figure out how to face the loss of Will. Will was… the most important person in the world for him. His baby brother. Sadness and guilt will eat him and I will be here to make sure that they don't swallow him whole. If that means I will be faced with silence, I will take it. If that means we will never listen to music while we drive around, I'll take it.

I know that for better or worse usually goes for marriage but why wouldn't it go for a 7-day-old teenage relationship too? If push comes to shove, he's still my best friend.

"You don't have to get into the parking lot, you can leave me here," I tell him and he stops the car. For a moment, I think that that's it for now, but he leans over and kisses me. With all that's been going on, I forgot how kissing can actually be good. "In an hour. My place." He nods and I get out of the car.

I can't take it personally. I know it's not about me or us. He has right to be distant if that's what he wants to do. Coping with this isn't going to be easy and it's not going to be easy for me to watch it. At least he's not pushing me away completely. I know I should be glad about that one.

With a sigh, I make my way to the parking lot, just realizing how stupid this idea is; what if Steve took the car? He has the spare key. What if he went back for it when he realized that I just dumped it on the school parking lot? Maybe I don't need a car after all. At this point, I'm starting to think it's better to just split the gas money with Jonathan, especially since I keep forgetting my car around the fucking town.

Ah, but Steve isn't practical, nor is he particularly smart. The car was in the same spot where I parked it yesterday morning. I fish the keys out of my bag and jump inside, thinking how much I'm going to have to squeeze into one hour. I won't have time to make lunch for the asshole, but I've decided before that he can starve to death, haven't I?

I nearly crash into a light post when I notice three bicycles and four kids. Why the hell aren't they in class? I stop the car and honk, knowing that will get their attention. It does. Startled, they look around, Mike, Dustin, Lucas and the girl. It's Dustin that notices me first. He smiles and waves, before all four of them run into the school, with him and Mike pulling the girl by the hand.

I get that they're not going to class. Their best friend was found dead, if there ever was a reason to not go to class, that's it. But they are in school. Why the hell would they go to school if they're not going to classes? And what the hell are their parents doing? Jesus, with Mike on the run and Nancy going steady with my brother, Mr. and Mrs. Wheeler are doing a dandy job!

I'll… I guess I'll speak with them tomorrow. Jonathan needs to be my priority right now.

* * *

I fiddle the phone cord as I wait for the receptionist to connect me to room 127. This time around, I have come prepared. I'm halfway through my cup of coffee and on my second cigarette; I'm ready to talk to mom or dad, whichever one of them decides to pick up the phone.

"Hello?" I feel relief when my mom's the one who picks up.

"Hey."

"Tina, honey," she chuckles. At least this time around, I'm not going to get a lecture. No, she already knows I'm skipping school and spending nights in my boyfriend's house. Desperate times call for desperate measures and today, she's apparently willing to look the other way. "Did they find the boy?"

"Yeah-"

"Oh, thank god!" she lets out a sigh of relief. "I was getting really worried."

"They found him in the water by the quarry, mom," I manage to utter. Today, I have been fairly calm and I did not cry but actually saying it to someone makes my heart break all over again. "Will is dead."

"Oh my god," I can actually hear the sadness in her voice. She liked him, just as she liked all of them. Whenever the boys were around while we were desperately trying to make Dustin's costume, she would light up. She liked those kids. They were always stuffed with cookies and juice and she didn't give up on that costume until the very end. "Oh god, how are you dealing? How is Jonathan? How is their mother? Oh goodness, Will was the sweetest boy. How are you all holding up now?"

I literally attacked Steve, we do not talk. Jonathan's baby brother is dead and he looks as if he's going to lose it at any given moment and Joyce thinks that her dead son is talking with her through the lights. Oh and let's not forget about the human-like figure without a face that is coming out of the wall.

"I… I don't know," I mumble. I don't want to lie to her but I can't really be completely honest, can I? I can't tell her that things are peachy because they obviously aren't and I can't exactly tell her that the world as we know it is falling apart and that people I know and love are all having various kinds of breakdowns, including myself. I can practically feel it, it is right around the corner. "Jonathan is completely broken but I think it's going to get worse. Now he's thinking about the funeral and everything and I think it's keeping his mind occupied but I'm afraid of what will happen once the dust settles. And Joyce… she's not doing well."

"God, she must be falling apart," mom sighs. Yeah, that's one way to phrase it. "I'm sorry to not be there for you, honey."

"I'm not the one that needs help. There isn't much you could do for them."

"Honey, I'm your mom," she points out. "I know you. You are affected by this as well. You're one hell of an actress but I know you. It's… it's okay to not be fine. It's okay to be broken."

"It's not okay when... I don't think you realize how far gone I am. This isn't… you might see it as some stupid high school crush but you married your high school boyfriend. A high school crush can be a high school crush or it can be a love that ends in marriage. Or maybe, it can be your best friend. Jonathan is not some passing crush, he is my best friend. He… next to you and Steve, he's the most important person in my life. And he just lost his baby brother. And I am just pushed into it. I did not volunteer, nor did anyone ask anything of me. But I am there. And I don't think you realize just how much I need to be there. He is not good. And Joyce is in denial."

"Oh goodness," mom sighs. I can't really blame her. I mean, even if she was here, what the hell could she do for me? Tap me on the shoulder and tell me that it's going to be okay? No, it doesn't work like that. And I'm not the one who needs help. I'll… handle it. "When will the funeral take place?"

"I doubt you'll be back for it but Jonathan and I have to organize it all today," I tell her, trying to push away another wave of tears. Now is not the time for crying. Not today. "I don't have… I guess I don't have any funeral clothes. Funny, you always complain how I wear too much black but none of it is fitting for a funeral of a 12-year-old boy is it?"

"Oh, honey I am so sorry."

It's too late for that. I'm crying. I doubt she could calm me if she was right by my side, let alone when she's in California. No matter how logical and rational my thoughts are they all lead to the fact that Will is gone. Jonathan doesn't have his brother any more. I will never spend one more day with the two of them, laughing as we listen to music and bicker about which song is good and which is not. Will, the sweetest child in the world is just… gone. He's gone. And as much as I try to be strong it makes me so fucking sad! "Can I borrow something from your closet? I don't have time to shop for-"

"Of course you can Tina," mom tells me. "Honey, you need to calm down. Jonathan is going to need you for this and it's not going to be easy. If you need to talk to me, or anything, don't hesitate. I am here for you. Even if I am not physically next to you… mom is always here for you. Okay?"

"Okay," I mumble, wiping away my tears. "I do have a question, actually," I pause to take a breath, to calm myself down and to try to think how I can phrase this kind of question. "Mom, if something happened to me or to Steve and… I don't know. If every bit of logic was telling you that one of us is gone, would you refuse to believe it?"

"Absolutely." She tells me in a heartbeat. I was not expecting that kind of answer.

"You wouldn't believe it to be true?"

"No."

"And what if they… if they show you a body?"

"If you don't see it happen, you don't believe it," she tells me. The lack of doubt, the complete certainty in her voice scares the shit out of me. She didn't even pause to think about it. She literally just told me that she would react the same way Joyce is. "Honey, now is not the time for a life lesson from me to you. You don't need something else to worry about but there is something you need to know. The bond between a mother and a child is stronger than anything else. Fathers? They know nothing. Nothing. A mom carries her child for nine months. She cleans it, feeds it and hopefully, raises it to be a decent human being. As bad as the relationship between the two can get, it's still a stronger bond than any other. Which is why a mother should never live to see the day when she loses her baby. You are all our babies, it doesn't matter if you're 4 or 40. If Joyce Byers refuses to accept that her baby boy is gone… I get it. I would be the same. Unless you see it happen, you absolutely refuse to believe it."

Joyce isn't going crazy, she's a mom. That's all it is. I didn't see it, not until my own mom pointed it out. But I know now that she'd be the same. And if I was a mom, I'd be the same. Not all moms, of course. But I happen to think my mom is a good one. And Joyce is the best mom on this damned planet.

"What do we do? How do we help her?"

"You need to let her break," she tells me. "And then, you help her build herself up. These… these next couple of days are going to be very difficult Tina. But the worst part is after that. Reality will hit you, all of you who cared for Will. That's when you need to be strong."

"Mom, that sounds very scary."

"I know honey," she admits. "But you're strong. You'll handle it. And you will help them handle it. From what I could tell, Jonathan is a smart boy. And Joyce… life wasn't easy on her and she's far from the teenager Joyce I remember well. But she is a tough one."

"I hope your right about it."

"I might not be of much help from Los Angeles, but we will be home soon," she reassures me. "If you need any help, don't hesitate to ask Steve," she tells me. I don't have time to consider my actions and by the time I realize that I have let out an audible scoff, it's too late. "Now what?" mom sighs.

"We aren't exactly on speaking terms," I utter. Again, I can't lie but I can't tell her the truth either. Oh, he broke Jonathan's camera and I exploded on him. That makes him sound like a bad guy, right? He is a bad guy, so I'd hardly lose sleep over it but it would be followed by a question. Why did he break Jonathan's camera? I can't exactly tell her that I purposely took my clothes of so that Jonathan can see. Mom wouldn't stop to hear the part when he only saw me in my bra and my naked back. "We got into a fight but it's not a big deal. Besides, I'm over at Jonathan's all the time now. I think I'll be there until you return. I'd stay longer, but dad…"

"Would lose it," she finishes in my stead. He sure would pick the right time to be a caring father, wouldn't he? "Now is not the time for you two to be bickering. But me telling you that is hardly going to work now, is it? I've been saying that for the last 16 years but… If you need anything, call me. Okay?"

"Okay," I agree, suddenly feeling the need to end this conversation as soon as possible, before she asks something that would require me to lie. Again. "I love you."

"I love you too honey."

* * *

The dress I picked out is too big for me but I doubt anyone will be paying attention to my choice of outfit. It's black, it's long enough, with long sleeves and no cleavage; the perfect funeral dress. In fact, I'm pretty sure mom wore it for a few funerals. I might not be looking like Christie Brinkley but it will cover me up and it will not draw attention to me in any way.

I check the fridge, since I don't have time to cook anything for the ungrateful dickhead. It's full; it appears that despite my earlier thoughts, I am not willing to let him starve. After all, mom would wear the dress for his funeral so what the hell would I be left with?

I hear a car park on our driveway and seconds later, I hear a honk. And the feeling I feel is not something I am used to; it's actual relief. I am feeling proper relief that I am leaving my house. I would rather deal with a funeral and my grieving boyfriend than actually stay in my own home, in the same place where I learned how to crawl, walk, talk and let's face it, curse. I should not be so glad for leaving my home after spending just one miserable hour in it.

I am neither here nor there. This place is not as welcoming as it once was, not with everything that is going on. And I am not a Byers either. I am but a bystander. I care for them greatly, yes, but I'm still just a bystander. But this situation isn't normal. It is… horrific. And bad. It will get better. But it won't happen today and probably not soon and it will definitely not be as great as it was before.

Jonathan is the only part of my life that I am absolutely certain about at the moment. My home is not my home if I have no one there waiting for me. Yeah, they're not here temporarily but even if they were… and with Steve and the way it culminated before! I would rather fact the horrible side of life because even if it's horrible, I have Jonathan holding my hand. I'm not the fairy godmother; I'm not the rescuer, the one that brings hope and salvation. Fuck, I'm as far away from it as one can be. I'm barely keeping my life together, let alone all of this, all that he has to deal with. But I am his support. And he's mine too. It sucks and it shouldn't be this way but at least we are not alone.

I throw my bag over my shoulder and I carefully hold the hanger of the dress, so as not to have the dress dragging on the ground. I walk out of the house and lock it, not feeling as I'm leaving anything behind, whether it is a real thing, something physical or a feeling, an emotion. Nothing. Nada. I look over at Jonathan, who's waiting in the driver's seat. He gives me the tiniest of smiles. Not the "I am so happy right now" smile, but more of a… "my entire world is falling apart but at least you're here" kind of smile. I know how to recognize it because I have the same one on my face, I know it.

* * *

I never envisioned doing this, I never did. When you plan out your life, even at 16, you don't exactly plan for the bad stuff. You plan for the good and you deal with the disappointment when life doesn't go by that plan. I knew that I wouldn't be as happy at 16 as I had hoped to be, but this is just too much.

"This one is made out of soft wood, with a crepe interior," the worker tells is in a low voice; it's an unofficial rule in funeral homes, apparently. In grief, you need to speak in a whisper. Looking at the casket, at its inside is just so wrong. It looks so tacky and to imagine that Will… it just breaks my heart all over again. If there's one thing I'm sure of now, I'll want to go in a fucking wooden box, none of this crap. Will is going to be put in one of these things. Knowing that is bad enough on its own but the emotionless look on Jonathan's face brings a chill to my bones. "Now, uh, I don't know what your budget is but over here, we have copper and bronze." He waves his hand and guides us to another casket. A copper one. Even tackier than the wooden one. One would think that they would make more effort in making better caskets, considering death is inevitable for all of us.

The magic word that should not be mentioned at moments like these: budget.

"I'm sorry, could you please give us a moment?" I ask, ignoring Jonathan's surprise.

"Of course. I will wait in my office," the man reassures us. "Knock when you are ready to talk." He tells us. I grab Jonathan by the hand and almost drag him out into the hallway.

"What's going on?"

"Jonathan, you need to know the exact number," I tell him, still keeping my voice low, feeling as if someone is going to reprimand me if I talk in a normal tone. "With things like these, they just look for a way to get money out of your pocket. I just… if you need me to help with it, I will. I want to."

"Absolutely not. You're not paying for my brother's funeral." He protests in a heartbeat.

"I'm not suggesting that I should pay for it," I sigh. I'd be glad to do that but I know that he would never accept it. He's too proud for that. And let's face it, if the roles were reversed, I wouldn't accept it either. "I'm just telling you that if you want to buy a fucking… copper casket, I'll help you if you don't have enough. I don't need a car, Jonathan. I don't need whatever it is that my savings could get me. I just… I just want to help. I want to make it easier for you and right now, money is the only way that I can do that because no matter what I tell you, no matter what I say, I am not helping you."

I knew that it was around the corner, I fucking knew it. I think Jonathan saw it coming too. He grabs a hold of me even before I start crying.

"You are helping," he mumbles into my ear. "I don't need money. We have enough for this. Will… Will is going to get a proper burial. That's not how you're gonna help me. I just need you here. I don't want you to leave me alone and you're not leaving me alone. That means more than you can know."

"Well, it doesn't feel like it's enough," I sigh. I move away from him and as I do that, I notice someone else in the hallway. "Nancy?" I ask in surprise when I realize that the girl that's sheepishly approaching us is my brother's girlfriend. Jonathan looks just as shocked as I am.

"Hi," I can barely hear her voice. "Your mom told me I'll find the two of you here. I… I am so sorry."

It's not my place to thank her. I'm not the one that should be accepting condolences and Jonathan, I don't think he knows how. He just nods his head with a sad expression on his face.

"I'm… Do you have a moment? I need to ask you something?" Nancy speaks up, looking as if she's made a decision. God, is now really the time for talking. "It's important?" she adds, as if she could hear my thoughts. I look over at Jonathan. It's his call. He nods his head.

"It's about Barb," she tells us. "I think we need to get outside or something."

"What about Barb?" Jonathan asks as he starts walking towards the exit. Nancy and I follow him.

"She's missing. No one's seen her since the party. I thought maybe you have?"

"I forgot to ask him," I admit. "With all that's been going on, I just forgot all about it. Did you see anything when you were taking photos?" I ask Jonathan, who shakes his head. "One moment she was there and the next, she wasn't."

"Yeah, I saw the same thing," he shrugs as he holds the door open for us. "I figured she just bolted."

"So did everyone else, but I think I've found something. Maybe you can explain it." Nancy tells him as she reaches into her bag. She pulls out a photograph; a it's been ripped and taped back together.

It takes me a moment to realize that it's one of the photos Carol ripped the other day; one of those that Jonathan took the night when Barb was last seen. I didn't even realize at the time that Nancy grabbed those pieces before the wind blew them away; we were more concerned about the camera at the time. In the photo, I can see Barb sitting on the edge of our diving board, with her legs dipped into the pool.

"You two know photography," Nancy sighs impatiently as Jonathan and I look at the photo. "Can either one of you explain what this is?" she asks, pointing at the corner of the picture. It looks… weird. Right behind Barb, there's some kind of smudge, a large, tree shaped smudge. I've never seen anything like that and I've been into photography for quite some time.

"It looks like it could be some sort of perspective distortion." I suggest with a shrug.

"Yeah, but I wasn't using a wide angle," Jonathan tells me. Nancy looks as if we are not speaking English. "I don't know," Jonathan admits as he gives her back the photo. "It's weird."

"And neither one of you saw anyone else?" she asks and both Jonathan and I shake our heads. "The cops think she ran away. But they don't know Barb. And I've went back to your place."

"What? When?" I ask in confusion.

"I needed to look," she tells me. Well, she is Steve's girlfriend. If Jonathan had to look around my place in search for his best friend, I'd hardly get angry about it. "I want back there and in the woods, I thought… I thought I saw something. Some weird… man. I don't know what it was."

Well, I'm sure as hell glad that I'm staying with Jonathan for the time being. His place is safe.

"I'm sorry," Nancy suddenly speaks up. "I… I shouldn't have bothered the two of you today. I'm sorry." She starts walking away.

"What did he look like?" Jonathan suddenly asks her. "This man. In the woods."

I can almost feel the wheels in my head starting to move and they're slowly picking up their pace. Joyce… Joyce saw a thing, a thing that looks a lot like what Nancy just described. And the lights.

"I don't know," Nancy shrugs. "It was almost as if… as if it didn't…."

"Didn't have a face?" Jonathan asks.

"How did you know that?" Nancy asks in surprise. I look at Jonathan, who's looking at me, wide-eyed.

"Lights flickered last night," I manage to utter, making him look at me in complete shock. "I didn't want to say anything, I didn't want to feed Joyce's… I just thought nothing of it. I thought it was the same explanation we used for the phone and the lights, I thought it was electricity and… they flickered. I saw them. The light turned on, flickered and then off. I saw it last night."

What if… what if it's real? What if Joyce has been telling us the truth all along?

* * *

 **Okay, so when Tina and her mom talk, I took a few lines from a Winona Ryder interview. If you wanna read it, google Winona and Marie Claire, I'm sure you'll find it. Basically, she describes a conversation she had with her mom about Joyce's complete lack of belief in Will's death and those words had such an impact on me, I had to use it. I changed it up and expanded a bit, but that whole part about a mom refusing to believe it, thank you Winona Ryder and her mom 3**


	17. There Is A Happy Land

**Well, here we go again. First thing's first: playlist.**

 **1)David Bowie - There Is A Happy Land (seriously, play it, it can cover the whole freaking chapter)**

 **I'm still writing in the speed of light but I'm going back to work tomorrow so yet again I warn you, I might have to slow down a bit. Then again, I am writing in advance, so maybe not :D**

 **Thank you for reading guys, I mean it. And thank you for the reviews, they make me so freaking happy every time! I still can't quite believe the love this story's getting. Thank you. I mean it.**

 **Let me know what you think about this one :)**

* * *

I have so many questions but they could all be summed up in one word. How. HOW?!

How the hell is this possible? How the hell would they find a body if it's not the real thing? How the hell did Joyce know? How could they have fooled Jonathan? How could this be happening?

There's also why.

Why would anyone be doing this? Why would anyone want a mother to believe that her child is dead? Why would monsters come out of walls? Why and how is it connected to Will?

And where. More than that, where.

If that's not Will's body and if Barb is missing then where the hell are they?

I stare at the enlarged photo in my hands. I can see… a thing. I don't know what the hell it is. It doesn't look human; it doesn't look like an animal. it looks to be somewhere in between, which is pretty much exactly what Joyce have said that she saw. Nancy confirmed it. She said it, without a trace of doubt in her mind. That's what she saw. Near my house at that. The same house where my brother is probably at. Then again, monsters are jumping out of walls at Jonathan's house.

"Jonathan, what the fuck is going on?" I ask. I couldn't talk for a very long time. Ever since we dropped Nancy off to her house, I don't think I spoke a single sentence. We enlarged the photo, came to the conclusion that Joyce isn't crazy, dropped Nancy off and went back to the funeral home, where Jonathan picked out a casket for his brother that maybe actually isn't his actual brother. All the while, I couldn't say a coherent sentence, not a single one.

"I don't think my mom's crazy," he tells me as he stops the car, in the middle of the road that leads to his house. That's a good call. If we're going to have this conversation, we need to have it before we get to Joyce. "Whatever she saw, Nancy saw it too. It got Barb," he points at the photo in my hands. I can't deny the obvious when I literally hold a piece of evidence in my hand. There's something in a photo and whatever it is, it is not fucking human. "And if you saw the lights too… I don't think Will is dead."

"Then where the hell is he?"

"I don't know," he sighs. I jump in surprise when he hits the steering wheel with all the strength he has in him. "But if that thing has him… We need to find him."

"How?"

"I don't know."

"If we think that Will is still out there, which we do, why the hell are we having the funeral?" I ask.

"Because Mom needs to say goodbye. I know," Jonathan jumps up when he sees the look on my face. "I know. She's the one who's been saying it from the beginning but Tina, what if we don't find him? What if it all leads to nothing? How do I tell her then?"

I think I get it. If he walks in there and tells her that Will is alive and that we are going to try to find him, Joyce will hold onto that, as any other mother would. And if it doesn't work, if we don't find him or if we find him dead, that will be a whole different heartbreak for her, one in line of many. It would not be fair to do it to her, just as it isn't fair to lie to her. She thinks she's going crazy. Yeah, we all thought it but we have photographic proof that she's not insane. She deserves to know it. There is no good or bad option here, neither one of them is good. I just wished Jonathan had asked me for my opinion before making a call like that. But hey, it's his mother. If he doesn't want to tell her, I'll keep my damn mouth shut.

"So, we're going to the funeral, act like we believe Will is dead and then what? Go monster hunting?" I ask him. I could list a couple hundred reasons why that is the stupidest plan in the history of stupid plans. It's stupid, it's dangerous and given that both Will and Barb are missing, it might not end well for us. But on the other hand, Will. Will is… he's not dead. He's out there, somewhere. He reached out. It wasn't electricity, it was Will. Or maybe all of us are collectively going insane?

"Unless we come up with a better plan overnight, that's all we can do," he tells me. "Look, I don't want to get you into danger. I don't want to do that to you, asking you to join me isn't something that I wanted to do."

"That is so beyond the point," I snap. I didn't even realize that I was feeling annoyed but now, it's just… pouring out of me. "I'm not reluctant because I'm scared or because I don't want to do it, I am reluctant because we have no fucking plan! Helping you was never a question and after everything that has been going on in the last couple of days, I don't think you should be questioning it!"

Doesn't he realize that he doesn't have to ask? The whole "I would never put you in danger" speech is useless because I am going to jump into danger head first because that's what he's going to do! Does that make me an idiot? An hour ago, I wouldn't say so. Now, I'm not quite sure about it.

At least he's smart enough not to continue it. If he had said something, I would have said something back and I have a bad feeling that it would have resulted in our first proper fight and if there ever was a bad moment to have a proper fight, it's this one. If he stays quiet, I stay quiet too. Simple as that.

Being the idiot that I am, I didn't bother with the seatbelt and now, when Jonathan suddenly hit the brakes, out of nowhere, I had to hold on for dear life. I don't even get to ask him what the hell is going on; he's already out of the car and running into the house. I get out of the car, as fast as I can, ready to get into a proper fight with him but then I notice what must be the reason for his sudden reaction. There is a fucking hole in the wall. A hole in the wall of the house, covered by blue plastic. I run.

Well, at least Joyce is alive. I'm not so sure if she's well, but she's alive and in one piece.

"Who the hell are you?" a man speaks up, giving me a weird look. I probably earned that one, since I ran into the house after Jonathan like a mad woman.

"She's my girlfriend." Jonathan mumbles.

"Huh," the man laughs and looks me up and down. "Never thought you'd get one."

Ah fucking hell. I don't need to be a genius to figure out who this piece of work is.

"Nice to meet you too Lonnie," I deadpan. I can't deny it, I do feel a bit proud when I see the surprised look on his face. "I heard a lot about you." I add, before marching away to Jonathan's room. I am not going to be a witness to a family confrontation if that's what's about to happen. I've started meddling too much. I'm starting to think that it would be better if I just leave them be. Maybe I shouldn't be staying here anymore. I could go home and release the pressure that I've apparently been keeping on Jonathan. Tension or no tension, I don't want to lose him once all this is over.

It's starting to overwhelm me, all of this. I don't even want to think about what's waiting for me tomorrow. I definitely got a lot more than I bargained for and I think I'm starting to buckle under pressure. I don't know for how long I can keep it up.

I have to keep it up. I owe it to Jonathan and… no, fuck Jonathan. He's right here and we are on ground zero. I don't owe him anything and he doesn't owe me either. I owe it to Will. I owe it to that little boy to suck it up and do all I can to find him, even if that means that I'm… I don't know, going to lose myself.

"Will? Willster? Buddy, can you hear me?" I ask, careful to keep my voice low. "God, I'm a complete idiot, I'm talking to an empty room. Ugh! Just… I don't know what's true and what's not. But Will, if you can actually here me, if you're there somewhere… we're going to try to find you. We will do our best. Okay buddy? We'll do our best Willster." I sigh, staring directly at Jonathan's desk lamp. Now would be the perfect time for the light to flicker, turn off, anything. Nothing happens. Absolutely nothing.

"She saw it again," Jonathan bursts into the room, making me jump up in surprise. With a sigh, I turn around and lie down, facing the wall instead of him. Unfortunately for me, being a loner, Jonathan can't quite pick up on social cues; he doesn't realize that I'm not in the mood for talking, not even if it involves something groundbreaking and the danger we will probably be in tomorrow. "She said that Will was in the wall and that he tried to talk to her. The monster was there again."

"We'll be sure to give him Joyce's regards when we face it tomorrow."

"Is there something wrong?" he asks in confusion. I watch as he runs over to the desk and starts rummaging through the papers that are on it.

"No, everything is just fine."

He doesn't even care.

"Good. I need to mark the places on the map, so that we can figure out where to go tomorrow."

"Yeah, you do that."

Nothing. He doesn't even turn around. Well, I might as well just go to sleep.

* * *

The moment I see Joyce dressed in black, I want to tell her everything. But no one's asking me.

She looks… well, she looks like a mother that just lost her child. I don't think that Lonnie being here is of much help to her. I don't think that Jonathan's helping either. I might not have the liberty to tell her what we found out but I sure as hell can be here for her when everyone else seems to be turning their backs. Oh, Jonathan will remember me. When we find Will, I'll make him regret these last couple of hours. Who knows if by that point he'll even bother to stop and listen to me.

"Joyce?" I sit down on the bed next to her. She looks at me but I can see it in her eyes, she's lost. "Are you ready? We have to leave soon."

Oh and by the way, you are not out of your damned mind. Your son is still alive, communicating through the lights and is probably held captive by the same monster that you've seen coming through a wall. But hey, why would anyone bother to tell you that, right?

"I don't want to go there," she tells me in a low voice as she starts to shake her head. "Jonathan, Lonnie… I don't think they get it." she admits. Once again, I feel guilt for not being able to tell her that Jonathan does get it. Lonnie? I don't know and I don't care. He probably thinks she's a psycho.

"Do you remember that one day when we danced to disco music?" I ask and after giving me a confused look, she confirms by nodding her head. "Well, before that, we had a little life talk. It was a long talk and you shared a few wise words with me but I remember the wisdom of Joyce Byers in one simple thing you said. Actually, I said it, so it's kind of my wisdom but you agreed with it. Men are bullshit. Even the good ones." I remind her. I wasn't expecting her to crack a smile and I am genuinely surprised when she does. "This… is very sad. And it sucks. And Lonnie will never get it. So go out there and make sure to show that you can do it without him. Crazy or not… at least you're not bullshit."

The squeeze of her hand tells me more than her words ever could. She deserves the truth but as I open my mouth to say something, anything, Lonnie shows up at the door.

"Are you ready?"

After all the crap I heard about Lonnie, I didn't actually think I would want to ride in a car with him. With him and a grieving, confused as hell, Joyce. Seeing as how Jonathan and I haven't talked all morning, not a single word, I'm starting to think that carpooling with Joyce and Lonnie was a better option for me.

The situation is so far from normal, it's not even in the same realm! We're grieving a boy that is not dead. We're lying to everyone, literally everyone and we're making a poor woman think that she has lost all her marbles. I'm doing my best not to be a bitch and not to take his attitude personally but I don't think I'm successful. At least I'm keeping my mouth shut and avoiding a fight.

"Will you stay close?" he suddenly breaks the silence as I was about to get out of the car. I freeze, with my hand on the door handle. "For the funeral. Will you be close to me?"

"Yeah."

I mean, what else can I say to that? No? Stand by yourself? Of course not.

It's all… surreal, I suppose. If I truly believed that Will is in the casket before me, I imagine it would be much worse. He is alive, somewhere. He's not before us and yet, it feels like he is. Looking around at all his school friends and their parents… Mike, Dustin and Lucas, oh god. They do not look broken but I can imagine how much it's eating them on the inside. I want to go to them, talk to them. Even if I can't tell them that their best friend is alive, maybe I can talk to them. I hate that it has to wait.

"Tina?" Joyce turns around to me, making both me and Jonathan look in surprise. "You shouldn't be there. You should be sitting here with us. Will considers you family."

"It's okay," I give her a small smile and I squeeze her shoulder. "I'm right behind you."

"She did do more for him in the few months she knew him than his father did in his entire life."

"Jonathan," I warn him in a hushed voice. Fake or not, he doesn't want to make a scene at his brother's funeral. "Shut up. I'm right here." I hush him. He doesn't say anything. Despite not really wanting to do it, I put a hand on his shoulder as well. I'm surprised when he puts a hand over my own. I guess this is what it's all fallen down to; me giving them silent support because there's nothing else I can do.

I woke up at one moment last night. Jonathan was sound asleep next to me, with his hand thrown over me, despite the cold moment we had shared earlier. I woke up and I started thinking of how weird this whole thing is going to be like. I wondered how I'll feel and I could come up with uncomfortable and a little sad, seeing as Will is still missing. Sure, it's great that he's not dead but if we don't find him…

I spent a solid hour thinking about how I would feel today and I was wrong. Never, not in a million years, did I think that I would cry at a fake funeral. And here I am, crying at a fucking fake funeral.

I don't know if it's stress or worry or maybe the pending danger that we might march into later. Maybe it's the actual residue of sadness that's blasting onto the surface. I did bawl my eyes out when I thought that Will had died. It could be the leftovers of that sadness. I can only guess. All I know is that I am crying. Jonathan? Nothing. He knows the truth. Joyce? She might doubt the truth but she isn't crying either. And here I am, a stranger, a nobody, bawling my eyes out. At least I can keep it quiet.

It all gets a bit hectic once the casket is lowered into the ground. Lonnie takes it upon himself to be the one that talks to people and accepts their condolences. Joyce is just sitting there, staring in the ground before her and Jonathan is MIA. I don't know where to go, who to be with. I look around, trying to find Jonathan. I don't see him anywhere. But I do see someone else.

I could recognize that hair anywhere. He is walking towards the parking lot and sure enough, I see his BMW parked there. He's even wearing a suit.

I am surprised and quite touched but it's going to take more than this to repay for being the dickhead that he was in the last couple of days. Steve has a lot to do if he wants to apologize. Which is debatable.

I don't see Jonathan anywhere. I walk into the room, filled with Will's friends, their parents, teachers that once were my own teachers but I don't see Jonathan. I can't find him at all.

One step away from panic, I rush outside, lighting a cigarette as I go. As I try to catch my breath and calm myself down, I see two black figures sitting down on the ground, not far from here. It takes me a couple of seconds to realize that it's Jonathan and Nancy.

"Are you kidding me?" I ask as I walk over towards him; they saw me approaching even before I spoke up, not bothering to hide my anger. "Jonathan, what the hell are you doing? You should be with your mom, you should be in there."

"Look, we have a triangle," he turns a map to me and I see three red X's on it. "All the places in which we know it showed up. We know where to look."

"That's all… fine and dandy. And we will look. But right now, your mother is falling apart and your father isn't making things any better." I point out.

"I'm… I'm going inside," Nancy speaks up as she gets off the ground. She's a smart girl, she knows that it's her time to leave. "You can find me when you agree on when and where."

"Tina, what is wrong with you?" Jonathan asks once Nancy is far enough to not hear our conversation.

"Me? What is wrong with me?" I ask in disbelief. "You, Jonathan. What the hell is wrong with you?! Fake or not, people think this is your brother's funeral! Despite what she said before, I'm starting to think that your mom is starting to believe that that really is Will! And what the hell are you doing?"

"I'm trying to find a way to find my brother," he responds as he gets up from the ground. "Will is my priority!"

"And he should be! But you can't leave your mother alone in this! It's wrong to lie to her about this, Jonathan. She deserves to know the truth and if you actually bothered to ask, you'd know that's what I think! But no! All of a sudden, you just don't care on what I have to say about anything. You want to go monster hunting? Perfect! We will! And how the hell do you expect us to get out of it alive?"

"I took my dad's gun." He deadpans.

"Lovely. Perfect! See, if you had bothered to tell me that or to ask me about it, I could have told you not to do it because my father has a fucking shed full of guns that we could use without him realizing it!" I yell. Now, this one comes as a surprise to him, I can tell it on his face. Maybe, just maybe, this one example would serve as an eye opener for him. He doesn't get to selectively choose the things he wants to involve me in. I am either in or I'm out. If I am in, which he claims I am, I deserve to know what his game plan is and I deserve to voice my own fucking opinion. "If I'm going to put my life in danger to help you, the least I deserve is to be fucking included! Now, if you want to go monster hunting with lovely Nancy, be my guest! Have fun for me! If you need me, you'll find me with your mother because someone needs to help that poor woman and you apparently don't give a shit!"

These words are going to bite me on the ass one day, I know it. It's a shame that it was necessary for me to say it. And the sad part is, I don't even think it affected him, not one bit.

This is why shit like this shouldn't happen to people who have been together for… what, 10 days?! As much as you know someone in everyday life… they can be a complete stranger to you in grief, or in complete panic and danger. The Jonathan I thought I knew would bend over backwards to keep Joyce in one piece. The Jonathan I know wouldn't leave me out of the plan he made with Nancy fucking Wheeler. But that was the Jonathan I used to know. I'm stuck with this new version of him that I'm not even sure if I like or not.

I'm nowhere close to calm when I march into the room but if there's one thing I've learned from my mom, it's how to pretend. My face doesn't give an inkling of the turmoil that's currently going on inside of me. And a turmoil isn't a good explanation, it's worse than that. One emotion on top of the other and on and on it goes. It's piling up so high, I can't even see the ground from the mountain of emotion I am standing on. I'm getting dizzy at this point and not a single person in this room will notice.

First thing's first: the boys. I notice the three of them sitting alone and I force a small smile as I walk towards them. I remind myself that to them, their best friend is gone for good. I need to be gentle and I need to be supportive. I need to make it seem like it's not the end of the world.

"Hey guys," I catch their attention and they stop talking instantly. "How are you holding up?" I ask as I sit in one of the empty seats at their small table.

"We're… grieving." Lucas tells me.

"Lucas, don't bullshit me," I roll my eyes. They can fool everyone else if they're willing to try hard enough but I'm the one who gave them lying tips. I didn't fall for their bullshit then, I'm not going to fall for their bullshit now. "How are you really doing?" I ask.

"It's… very confusing." Dustin tells me. Now, that one is the truth.

"It's almost like he's not really gone," Mike speaks up, looking down at the table. Before, when he'd lie, he'd make a show of it, looking directly into my eyes and calmly lying. He's telling the truth. "It's still feels like he's out there somewhere. It doesn't feel like we buried him."

Oh, he has no idea how right he is. I might want to tell Joyce the truth but I don't want to tell them. They are 12. Their world should be as pure as possible. With their arcade and board games, I'm sure they're more familiar with the concepts of monsters than the rest of us, but it's one thing to play with them and another one to have your friend being taken by one of them. They shouldn't know. They're innocent children and they need to remain innocent for as long as possible. Besides, some truths hurt. This would hurt them. To Joyce, it would be a confirmation that she hasn't lost her mind. The boys? It would hurt.

"Guys, I'd like to tell you that it's going to get easier but I'm not quite sure about it myself," I admit. This time around, I'm the one that's looking away but by no means am I lying to them. "One thing I can tell you. I know the grown-ups must have said shit like this to you a lot over the last few days, but if you need someone to talk to, about anything, I'm here for you. I'm older and a bit smarter but I'm not going to talk down on you. I promise. If you need to talk, just find me. Okay?"

"Yeah," Dustin speaks on their behalf as Lucas and Mike nod their heads. "Thanks Tina."

"Anytime," I smile. "I'm going to talk to Mrs. Byers now. But if you need me, you know where to find me. Any day, any time," I tell them as I get up and make my way towards Joyce. She's sitting all alone, once again proving my point. She needs someone. And that someone shouldn't be Lonnie. I doubt she needs her son's girlfriend but I'm the only one that's fucking offering. "How are you doing?"

"I don't think I'm aware of everything yet," she admits. Now that has to be the understatement of the century. "Thank you for being here, Tina," she tells me as she reaches out for my hand. I force a small smile, despite filling like the biggest bitch in the room. That's exactly what I am. I'm keeping the truth from her. Why? Because her oh so smart son decided that's the best direction. "I don't know what we would do without you. Even Lonnie's been helping up."

"Oh no," I shake my head, talking in a hushed voice because I know there's a chance that Lonnie might be listening in on the conversation; he's close enough to do so, it's just a question of whether he cares enough to listen in or not. "Remember what we said this morning. Men are bullshit. All of them, even the good ones. It'd be nice to think that he's changing for the better but do you really think such a change is possible after being… well, pardon my French, a dick, for the past 20 years?"

Lonnie thinks Joyce is crazy. There isn't a single part of him that actually believes in the possibility of Will still being alive. To him, his son really is dead. I guess that in some people, that my serve as a catalyst for change. I'd like to think that if something were to happen to me, my dad would realize that he wasn't a good dad and that he'd change the way he's treating his one remaining son. I'd like to think that'd happen if something were to happen to me. But my dad and Lonnie are not the same kind. My dad is just stupid, while Lonnie is a selfish, cheating bastard. He can act like an angel as much as he wants to but that doesn't mean that Joyce should erase all the previous memories she has of him.

"You're probably right," she sighs. "But right now, he's all I've got."

"Not true," I disagree at once. "You have Jonathan. And me. That's better than Lonnie, isn't it?"

"It is."

"Mom?" we both jump up at the sound of Jonathan's voice. "Can I steal Tina for a moment?" he asks.

"Of course." Joyce nods her head with a forced smile.

This is a very smart move from Jonathan. Asking me to talk in front of his mother, he knew I couldn't refuse. If he tried to talk to me in private, if he had tried to drag me away from here, I would not have gone with him and I think that he knows that. No, he played his cards just fine. With Joyce watching us, I can't even mumble in protest as he takes my hand and leads me out of the room.

"Jonathan, whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait," I sigh. "I don't want to-"

Why does he always feel the need to shut me up with a kiss?

This is not even remotely appropriate. The little house we just left is full of people that think we have just laid Will to rest. To see his older brother kissing his girlfriend would not be a good think. Especially since the kiss is hardly a peck. He pulls me closer with a fierceness I am not used to.

I was not expecting this. I am caught off guard so much, I can't even catch my breath the moment he pulls away from me. If this was a different situation, I'm sure he would be laughing at my confused expression. Confused doesn't even cut it.

"I'm not doing anything without you," he tells me. His voice is low, as if it could be a very bad thing if someone could hear us. Yeah, like kissing me was much more normal than that. "That's not what we signed up for. I was… confused, I guess. I worry for Will and I want to find him as soon as possible and that kind of clouded my judgment, I guess. And this whole charade and Lonnie being here. I'm sorry. I am not trying to push you away. And on a different note, why the hell would you think that I would want to go monster hunting with Nancy Wheeler rather than with you?" he asks in confusion.

Okay, that might have been something else talking out of me. I would have called it irrational but I did find them all alone and I'm… I'm not a super secure person. I don't have an endless amount of self-esteem and at that moment, it looked like he trusted her more than he trusts me. That hurt. And that made me say things I did mean but that I know very well I should have kept to myself.

"Man, trust me, that's the least of your worries," I admit and I know I am too far gone when he smiles down at me. I hate that damned smile. "What's the plan now? Who's guns are you going to steal this time?" I ask. He might be forgiven but that won't save him from a few comments from my part.

"We stay here until the end," he tells me and I nod my head. "I drive you home. Get changed. Something thick and comfortable, we'll be moving around the woods. Take those guns, as many as you can. If you have anything else that could be used as a weapon, take it. I will pick you up and then we're going to get Nancy. And then we're going to hunt this son of a bitch down."

"Sounds like a plan to me."


	18. (Don't Fear) The Reaper

**Well guys, this story is officially over 100 reviews so YAY! Thank you so much for everything, really. I would not be able to write like a maniac if it wasn't for your support. Thank you. THANK YOU! :)**

 **Here's the playlist:  
1) The Clash – Rock the Casbah  
2) Rod Stewart – Baby Jane  
3) Blue Oyster Cult – Don't Fear The Reaper**

 **Okay, so one more warning: Something BIG will happen in the next chapter. I'll step away from canon a bit but… you'll see. The next two chapters are going to be so much fun, I promise you! :)**

 **Until then, enjoy this one. You know the drill: follow, favorite, review and make me super happy! Let me know what you think. Enjoy guys! :)**

* * *

Jeans, boots and a thick jacket. Comfortable and thick, just like Jonathan instructed me.

I am lucky that Steve isn't home. I'm no way near ready for the awkward conversation that's in store for us. He did win a few points for showing up to the fake funeral today. He earned even more points for actually not approaching me. That just goes to show that he didn't do it to show off or to evoke guilt in me; he did it because he wanted to be there. As for the reason why he'd want to be there, fuck if I know. But it wasn't to guilt me into starting a conversation with him, I know that one for sure.

Another reason why I'm lucky is because I am not exactly traveling light. The little I know about guns is not something that could be considered useful. Sure, I know how to load them but I never actually had a chance to shoot one. Besides, I know nothing about dad's collection. I know that some bullets can cause more damage than others; I know that some guns are more effective and I'm pretty sure that recoil can be important when it comes to shooting but yeah, I know nothing about that. I wish I was some super smart gun expert that could come up with a single bullet that could end this monster and save the day but no. The only thing I know is that I need to hide the damn guns. I can't walk around town with an actually hunting rifle. I picked out three guns, one for each of us. Well, one for me and Nancy and a spare one, since Jonathan already stole one from his dad. I take three boxes of ammo and I pray to god that dad doesn't keep a count of them because I don't know how the hell I am going to explain missing bullets to him. That is, if I live long enough to offer an explanation.

I turn the entire shed upside down, looking for something else that could be used as a weapon; Jonathan literally said anything. I look at the axe, but that one's much too obvious. If a cop stops out car on the way to the woods, we are beyond dead. Four guns are bad enough on their own, but at least we can hide those. It would be a bit harder to hide a fucking axe. I do find a pretty sharp skinning knife. As much as I hate hunting and the concept of it, today, I am beyond grateful to my dad for being an avid hunter. Finally, he did something good in his career as a father. And he doesn't even know it.

I hear the doorbell and I run back to the house, praying to god that it's not Steve. It's not. Why the hell would he ring the doorbell of his own house? Still, I breathe a sigh of relief when I see Jonathan standing on the other side of the door.

"Come on, let's go!" I pull him by the hand.

"I know where in a rush to find Will and Barb but you do know you can stop to breathe, right?"

"Hmm, I have three guns on me and a very large hunting knife. I'm not stopping to breathe, not until we're very far away from the rest of the world." I comment. He actually laughs out loud. I can't remember the last time I made him laugh like that. The last week seems like an entire fucking lifetime of ups and downs. I still can't quite realize that… two weeks ago, it was all still awkward between us.

He starts driving away from my house and I am met with the first good sign in days; he turns the stereo on. I can't quite fight a smile as 'Rock the Casbah' starts playing.

Things are far from good. We need to find Will, we need to find Barb and we need to make it out alive. But it's still a whole lot better than thinking that his 12-year-old baby brother is dead.

"Have you ever fired a gun before?" he asks me.

"No, not really," I admit. This is probably not a good time to point out my lack of knowledge when it comes to fire arms, but he might as well know the truth. I'm not going to start shooting around like Magnum PI. I'm going to suck, probably. "Dad did try to teach me how to aim but I'm not sure if any of that got stuck in my head. We will practice first, right?" I ask him.

"Yeah, we have to," he nods his head. "I fired a gun when I was nine and I missed. I'm pretty sure Nancy never fired a gun in her life. We need to try it out at first."

"What's plan B?"

"Your hunting knife?"

Oh brother. We are in way over our heads. We are so deep in shit, not even one of those lifeboat donuts could save us from drowning. But there's no going back now. It is what it is. We are just a bunch of unlucky bastards who happened to find out the ugly truth that never should have existed to begin with. We could shout it from the rooftops and they'd all call us crazy, just like they call Joyce crazy behind her back. We are three kids that know the truth and that are in over their heads. We are also three kids that are going to do their damn best to get out of it alive and to save the people we love and care for.

* * *

Jonathan did not strike me as a guy who likes gun or any kind of violence for that matter. Sure, he does like a scary movie but so do I, so that doesn't really say much about a person, does it? I never thought a day would come when I would see him in a violent situation, much less with a gun in his hand.

He's bad. Like, really bad. I'm doing my best here to play the role of a supportive girlfriend and I try to hide my reactions but he misses the damned can every single time. The only good thing about it is that the monster in the photograph is a whole lot bigger than a can of beer that he used as his target; if he has to shot, I'm pretty sure he'd be able to injure the monster at least. But we need it dead, don't we?

"This isn't going anywhere," he sighs as he lowers the gun. At least he knows that he's not good with it. "Why don't you try?" he suggests. Oh, I could think of a few reasons of why I don't want to try doing it but I know all too well that I don't really have a choice at this point. There's no going back now. I make my way over to where he was standing and I lift up the gun with both my hands. I think that's what Dad told me, when he was trying to teach me how to aim. I might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure he told me to use both hands and keep both feet firm on the ground. The less I move, the better.

I don't think he knew that one day, his words might actually turn out to be useful. I know I didn't; if I knew at the time that I'd actually get a chance to shoot a gun one day, I would have paid more attention to what he was saying.

I take a deep breath, try to aim at the can and I fire. Okay, this is different. Movies never show the actors reacting to the sound of a gunshot; it's deafening. I look at the can and of course not.

"Fuck," I mumble under my breath, before taking the position again. I missed the first time, maybe I'll be luckier if I practice. I take my time this time around, I aim and when I fire, I actually manage to hit the can. I start laughing and when I turn to Jonathan, he has an impressed look on his face. "Now I just need the monster to stand still and maybe I can actually do something." I comment. We need to be realistic about this. Hitting a still can is nothing. I'm fairly relaxed. I'm not running for my life from a moving target. That will be a whole different story but hey, at least one of us got to hit the can.

"Yeah, you're better than I am." he laughs.

"Can I try?" Nancy asks. I nod, offering her my gun.

Nancy is a tiny girl. We are about the same height but she is definitely skinnier than I am. I'm so used to her wearing skirts and baby pink, being that girl that hides behind the book but I have to give it to her, she takes that gun, fires it and hits the second can. She is good, really good.

"Well, since both of you are better at it that I am, I guess I'm stuck with the bat." Jonathan jokes.

"Give it here," I tell him, reaching out my hand. He hands me the bat and I feel the weight of it in my hands before taking a swing at the air. I retreat and take a swing.

"How the hell are you doing that?" Nancy asks and I look at her in confusion. "I practiced half the day and I can barely hold it."

"That's cause you have zero upper body strength," I chuckle. "Both of you are older siblings, so you wouldn't know it, but if you have an older brother, you kind of have to be strong if you want to survive." I tell them. As protective as Steve can be nowadays, when we were younger, that wasn't the case. I wasn't exactly sheltered from my brother. Unlike most girls, I didn't grow up with tea parties and dresses. I mean, I did, I liked it too, I had my dolls and I still keep some of the stuffed animals I couldn't go to bed without, but I also had a big brother. Most of the time, we would just be wrestling or fighting over something. Jonathan and Nancy are both older siblings so they wouldn't exactly know the pain.

"You make it sound like Steve is 10 years older than you." Jonathan laughs.

"No, but have you seen him?" I roll my eyes. "I know the hair adds a couple of inches but he's a pretty big guy. I had to hold my ground somehow and I wasn't always as articulate as I am now," I actually laugh at the memory of it. Sure, it felt like some kind of war camp but it was nice. I did learn how to stick up for myself. I didn't know it at the time but I know it now. "Are we going to stay here all day or are we actually going to go and kick some monster ass?" I ask, returning back to the main topic and the very reasons that we are actually here for.

"Right," Jonathan nods his head, pulling out the map from his hands. "We will stay in the triangle that is my house, your house and the place where they found Will's bike. It showed up in these places and that's not a lot of ground to cover."

"Yeah, but what if we miss it?" Nancy asks; good point. "We'll have to walk around the whole day."

"Maybe even in the dark," I add. "Though I'm not sure how smart that'd be. But it's Will. And Barb."

"We're walking." Nancy agrees. Jonathan wouldn't be left with much of a choice, since Nancy and I do make a majority here. I don't think he'd complain, even if we could. He nods his head and reaches out to take the bat out of my hands. I might be good with it, but he's better. Besides, Nancy and I need to be the ones with the guns. And a hunting knife that I really hope I won't get a chance to use.

* * *

Three hours. We have been walking through the woods for three hours. We mostly stuck around in the triangle that Jonathan pointed out earlier: my house, his house and the place where the cops found Will's bike. We did venture a bit around those limits but mostly, we were walking around that triangle.

I didn't realize how dangerous this could be for us, not until now, when we have already been here for some time. Sure, in theory I knew about the danger. That's why I have two guns on me. But in reality, it's a bit different. My brain is only starting to comprehend that we are searching for the same thing that has Will and Barb. If it has them, why the hell wouldn't it have us? Sure, Barb and Will didn't have guns and bats on them but still. For all I know, I'm walking into a death trap. And I didn't really consider it at all, before walking in. When I said that I'd follow Jonathan wherever he goes, I didn't think he'd be willing to march into Death's hands.

"When I give my heart again, I know it's gonna last forever." I sing in a low voice; music is something I use to distract myself from reality. Seeing as I'm in the woods, this is the best I can do.

"You think the monster likes Rod Stewart?" Nancy asks me with a smile and I have to give it to her, this one is actually funny. And I can see that she's actually trying to be friendly and approachable after what had happened at the graveyard earlier. Not to mention that we didn't talk much since we started our little quest in the woods.

"If anything, he's gonna come out because he thinks someone's in grave pain." Jonathan mumbles and while Nancy starts laughing, I smack him on the shoulder. He is laughing at me to and I actually have to fight a smile. I forget just how much he gets a kick out of making fun of my singing.

"You won't be complaining so much about my singing if I actually lure it out."

"Me? Complaining? Never." He laughs. Oh god, I can feel it again. It's that thing that happens. No matter the shit we're in, I suddenly remember just how much I like him. It hits me like a wave and I turn into one of those girls, girls that blush and act all lovey dovey. And the worst part is, I can't control it. I actually have zero control over it. It manifests in the weirdest of ways; like right now, instead of minding my own business and looking for a monster, I put my arm around Jonathan's waist and I lean into him. To make matters worse, he pulls me closer and throws an arm around my shoulders, smiling down at me. This is not how you go monster hunting. We're breaking all the rules in the book.

"How did you two find each other?" Nancy asks. For a moment there, I actually forgot she was here.

"We go to the same school," I smile at her. "It's kind of hard to avoid people there."

"No, not like that," she shakes her head. "You've known each other for years. How… now?"

"Well, we actually didn't know each other for years," I tell her as I turn my head to frown at Jonathan. "This one over here doesn't really like to talk. We only started talking this year. Pretty much around the same time you and I talked for the first time. I mean, Hawkins might be a small town and all of that, but I didn't know either one of you, not until recently."

"First of all, I talked," Jonathan points out and I laugh. Yeah, he didn't talk. Maybe he talked to someone else but not to me. "Second of all… like, you and I have known each other for years," he points out to Nancy. Huh, I wasn't even aware that they were friends. "Because of Mike and Will."

"Yeah, but we never really hung out or anything," Nancy shrugs. Ah, so they weren't friends at all. It's just that Jonathan counts any form of human communication, such as 'hello', into being friendly with someone. I mean, I guess it is but that's not how you act with a friend. A good acquaintance, yes. A friend, no. "And the two of us," Nancy adds, looking at me. "We only ever started speaking when Steve and I started dating and that's just barely."

"Yeah but… if you look at it, on paper, it shouldn't be a surprise," I shrug. "I don't think we have a lot in common and even if we do, we don't know it. It's Steve and this entire mess that got us into this position. Let's face it, the three of us as a group, all three individuals, we have to be the weirdest monster hunting group there ever was."

"But maybe it'll work," Nancy shrugs. "If the two of you work together, if Steve and I work together, why the hell wouldn't the three of us make a perfect hunting party?"

"Easy there Wheeler, don't go all emotional on us," I tease her and she laughs. "Next thing, you're going to want to have Steve join us and that would be a very bad idea."

"No," she shakes her head. "I mean, Steve is a good guy but I don't think he'd understand."

She's right and she is wrong. Steve is not as good as she thinks. Did she already decide to forget how he broke Jonathan's camera? Or how he didn't take Barb's disappearance seriously? She's the one who told me about that and that is enough for me to know that she has noticed it. And she is absolutely right about him not being able to understand it. The three of us all had a difficult time wrapping our heads around this. Steve… he's not wired like that. He could never get it, not until he is faced with a monster and offered no additional explanation. And even then, he would probably go right into denial.

"Look, Nancy, I told you the other day what I think of Steve," I remind her, letting go of Jonathan; as much as I would love to walk and hug, it's not something meant for monster hunting. "And just seconds after i defended him, he did the douchiest thing ever. He can be good, he really can. But with him, you never know what you're going to get. It can go from one end to the other. He can be the best guy in the world and turn into an asshole the next minute. If you are willing to have that kind of uncertainty in the relationship, then keep it up. If he makes you happy, despite being a douche… yay."

I don't even sound semi-convincing. I could point out the good sides of Steve, praise him and promise Nancy that he'd never break her heart. But that's not the reality. He might be my brother but I'm not going to paint a pretty picture if it's not true. Also, Nancy isn't that stupid. She knows who she's with. I just hope that she isn't hoping from some kind of massive change because I doubt that'll happen.

Something huge has to happen in order to get Steve to change his ways and become a little less selfish. Maybe that's Nancy. Maybe she'll make him a better man, who knows? I know I'm not going to keep my hopes up. For now, I'm just going to stay out of it and focus on my own relationship and whether or not it will actually manage to survive all the shit that we are in at the moment.

* * *

We lost light… hours ago. The flashlights are handy but they're not taking away the uneasy feeling. Sure, we have three streaks of light before us but they don't shine a light on the entire freaking forest. I don't want to be the pessimist in the group, even if that's my natural role to play. Normally, I would be throwing out comments left and right. I wouldn't stop talking of how stupid, pointless and ridiculous our little adventure is. If Will's life isn't possibly depending on it. Knowing that we are that boy's one chance, that's what kept me going and that's what kept my mouth shut.

"Are you tired?" Jonathan asks and I turn around, surprised to see Nancy just standing there.

"Nancy, we have to keep going." I tell her. My legs started throbbing a good couple of hours ago and I didn't complain, I just kept going. If I'm doing that, she needs to do it too.

"Guys, shut up," she mumbles in a low voice. "I think I hear something."

Well, crap. I know that's a good sign, I know that'd what we were looking for but I don't feel too happy about it. I guess a part of me was hoping that we would avoid danger, despite looking for it.

Once Jonathan and I stopped talking, it was easy to hear the same noise that Nancy heard. It sounds almost like… a wail. Or a cry. But I don't think it's human. It doesn't sound like a person but it also doesn't sound like a monster that's about to eat us. We exchange looks and nods which only mean one thing; follow the noise. Slowly, with our weapons in hand, we follow the noise. It sounds as if it's coming from past the bushes on our right. I nod my head in that direction and they just follow. We can all hear it and that's definitely where it's coming from.

I wasn't looking at the ground; I was looking for an animal, a wolf or something of that size. When I hear Nancy's surprised gasp, it actually takes me a second to see what I should see; it was lying on the ground, not standing and prepared for an attack. A deer. A half dead deer.

"Ah geez," I sigh, looking down at it. It's all bloody and hurt and the wails are even worse when they can hear them in clarity. "We can't leave it like this, it's in pain." I tell them.

"We need to shoot it." Nancy nods her head and then looks at me. I can read her expression with no trouble at all. I'm thinking the exact same thing. I don't want to do it and neither does she.

I don't want to kill it. I really, really, really do not want to kill it. I hate the thought of killing something, I love animals and I am yet to recover from 'Bambi', like every other fucking child who saw that cartoon before they were ready. You are never ready for 'Bambi'. Never.

But someone needs to grow a pair and judging by the look on Nancy's face, it's not gonna be her.

I take a deep breath and raise the gun, trying to ignore the obvious shake of my hand. I jump up in surprise when Jonathan puts a hand over mine and takes the gun. "But…"

"I'm not nine anymore," he tells me. "And it's a lot closer than the cans."

As much as I would like to spare him from killing a poor deer, I don't do it. I'm going to be selfish and save myself the guilt in this round. Honestly, it's bad enough that I have to look at him doing it.

I watch and I wait and just as Jonathan was about to shoot it… I think we must have jumped a few feet backwards. My heart is racing so hard, I can't even hear anything else. All I hear is the boom-boom-boom. The deer… it just got dragged away. I didn't see what took it but something fucking took it, pulled it away and into the bushes, completely ignoring the three of us. I still can't hear a single thing but I look at Jonathan and then at Nancy; both looked as rattled as I feel. Something is here.

"What the hell was that?" I whisper as I shine my flashlight down to the ground; a trail of blood shows that the deer really was dragged away by something, not just grabbed. Slowly, we move. Nancy has the bat, despite being better with a gun, Jonathan has the gun he took from my hand and I grab another one out of my pocket. It's smaller, but it's still a gun. Slowly, we walk in the direction the deer went. And for a while, we see blood but then it just… stops. No more blood, no more deer.

I look at the two of them, look for reassurance that I'm not losing the little of what's left of my mind. Yeah, they don't have it either. It makes no sense, none of this makes any sense at all.

"Where the hell did it go?" Jonathan asks.

I keep on moving, looking around for anything. The deer god dragged away so fast… I don't get how the hell we weren't able to see what got it, it was right in front of us, we were looking at it. Slowly, I can feel that the adrenaline is letting go of me but I still look around, just waiting for something to jump out at us. This isn't going to end well. There's no way that this can end well for us.

"What the hell is this?" Nancy asks in a whisper and when I turn around, I see her on her knees in front of a tree. I walk over to her, only noticing that the tree has a pretty big hole in it. I kneel next to her and I try to take a peak in, pointing my light at it. I don't see the end. I just see… dark.

"This isn't… this isn't a regular tree." I turn around, looking to see if Jonathan can hear us.

"Jon-" Nancy starts but I smack her on the leg. She looks up at me, wide-eyed.

"Don't call him!" I snap at her in a low voice. "He's not good with a gun, he's going to get himself killed. Wait here." I say as I take off my backpack and jacket; the lighter I travel, the better.

"Tina, what the hell are you doing?" she asks. She must think I am completely insane. Well, I am.

"I'm going in," I tell her in a hushed voice. I _really_ don't want Jonathan to stop me, nor do I want him to do this. "This isn't a tree trunk. I need to check it out. Stay here and if I'm not back soon…" I stop, not knowing what to tell her. To come after me? No. If I'm not back, I'm dead. To call for help? Who would believe her? "If I'm not back, grab Jonathan and run."

"Tina, no."

She tries to stop me but against all common sense, I do not listen to her. I take a deep breath and I try to squeeze in through the hole. I was right. It's not a hole in a tree trunk, it's something else. It's… slimey. As I try to push my way through I nearly gag as I push away the slime and… web? I don't even know what the hell it is.

Oh shit. Oh, shit, shit, shit.

I'm in the woods. I'm still in the fucking woods but I didn't go through a tree trunk and ended up in the same place I left. It's… different.

All around me, I see slime and webs. It's much darker and it's all so… blue. There's some kind of dust flying through the air. No, not flying. It's floating. It almost looks as if the air is thicker but when I take a step forward, I feel no resistance. As my eyes start getting used to this kind of dark, I realize that it… it looks exactly the same as the woods I was just in. Same but… different. Like a different color of a same dress. It takes me a moment to realize that I just walked into _this_ through a fucking _tree._

I walked into a tree. I should have been met with a tree… wall, I guess. It should not have led to this but it did. And I am here. My hands are shaking but I hold the gun and the flashlight up as I start moving forward. I wasn't expecting to hear a noise behind me. I turn, my finger already on the trigger, ready to shoot, only to be met with a wide-eyed Nancy. My look says it all. At first I am glad I didn't shoot the hell out of her and then I just… if I could strangle her with my eyes, I'd do it.

Her look says it all too. And I guess I kind of get it. I would not let her walk in here alone. I suppose I have to understand why she wasn't willing to let me go through it alone. But we are here, I have no idea what the hell is going on and we are in big trouble. The only thing I know is that we need to be quiet. I put a finger over my lips and Nancy nods her head, understanding the message I tried to send.

The moment my flashlight starts flickering, I realize two things. One, wherever the hell we are, we are in the right place. Two… we are in big trouble.

Like on command, we hear a growl. Slowly, I turn around. And there it is. The deer and the thing Nancy saw, the thing that Joyce saw coming out of the wall. Kind of looks human but it's obviously not. Kind of looks like an animal but it's not that either. And right now, it's feasting on the deer. I reach out my hand to Nancy and slowly, we start backing away. It's focused on the deer, it didn't even see us and we need it to stay that way. Please don't turn around. Please don't turn around. Please don't turn around.

Crack.

We stood on something. I turn to Nancy.

"Run." I manage to utter before that thing turned around.

Its face opened up. Its face opened up and it growled and the next thing I know, I'm running and I can no longer see Nancy.

There's no way in hell I can outrun it. I stop and hide behind the tree and I try to calm myself down; my heart is beating like crazy. The thing will hear it if I don't calm myself down. But the moment I try to do that, I notice something, whether it's the things that are floating in the air or the slime on the tree that I am currently touching. I hear a noise and I turn around, just in time to see Nancy.

I want to shout at her to run, to stop looking for me; if I hear her, so will that thing. She looks around and just… doesn't see me. To my relief, she realizes I am not close and she walks through the same whole we went through to begin with. That relief turns into panic immediately, the second I realize I am alone in here. I need to get to that hole. I need to get to it but I can't do that while that thing is around.

It saw us, it smelled us or something and it is searching for us. I can hear low grumbles and movement. At least Nancy made it out of here. I hope she listens to my order and just runs away with Jonathan.

Fuck, Jonathan.

I need to get to that hole. I need to get to it, _now!_

I can't run in front of it, I can't do that. It'll… I don't know what the hell it'll do to me but it will do something. I'm going to need at least a few seconds if I'm going to get to that hole.

Then I hear the noise again. Nancy and I interrupted its dinner but I can hear it munching on the poor animal. This is my chance. Now or never. I'm in this alone.

I run. I run as fast as I possibly can and I rush through the slime and do goo, not caring that it got all over my face. I rush past it and I feel cold air on my hands. It takes me a moment to realize what is going on but I'm having difficulty breathing, as if the space is closing in on me. That's when something starts yanking me. I realize that someone from the other side is pulling me out there. I try to help but the only thing I can think about is how loud this must be and how close I am to that thing grabbing me and ripping me in half as it pulls me to its side.

That's when the clean air hits me. No more slime, no more webs, just clean, cold air.

"Jonathan, pull!" I hear a yell.

I scream as I feel claws on my back, pushing on my skin as both Jonathan and Nancy are trying to pull me out. I scream in pain but as soon as they pull me out halfway, it stops. I fall face down, directly on top of Jonathan. With Nancy's help, I manage to get up from him and my eyes go directly to the hole.

It's all but gone. One inch is left of it and I watch as the tree just turns into a normal tree. It was literally closing in on me and that must have been what I felt. No claws were digging into me, it was the tree closing in on me as they were trying to pull me out.

"We need to get away from here. NOW!" Nancy yells.

Jonathan helps me get up on my feet but I keep my eyes on the tree. He pushes me toward and leans me on him but even as we walk away, I stare at the damned tree.

Where the hell were we?

* * *

I thought I knew myself pretty well. For a 16-year-old, at least. I thought I was a realist, a smart girl. I'm not the one to sing praises to myself but I know I'm not stupid. I also thought I was brave. That I could stand up for myself, defend myself and others, if need be. That was when I didn't know that monsters are real. Along with that perfect version of myself, I was sure that monsters are reserved for movies and scary novels, comics. Never, never in my wildest dreams did I expect I'd get to face one today.

I was anything but brave. Even now, sitting in my own room, in my locked house, with a gun on the night stand and Jonathan right next to me, the only thing I can do is sit in silence and just shake. I thought that a warm shower might help but even now, in my pajamas, all I can think about is that thing.

It looked… it looked like one of those plants that open up. Its head looked like an open flower on a human like body. It's not a human body, no way. But it has hands and it has legs. Long, at that. It must be superfast. I don't know how the hell I managed to get away from it. Nancy was lucky, she made a run for it and she was out in time, despite waiting to see if I was around. I am glad she didn't wait for me too long because if that thing had seen her, she would have been dead. They stuck around long enough to pull me out of there and that's good enough. But it doesn't erase my memory. Unfortunately.

"Tina?" Jonathan's voice was soft and he is sitting right next to me but I was still startled. "Tina, I need to check your back."

"Right," I nod my head, giving him the ointment I was holding. I tried to do it myself, while he was waiting for me to get out of the bathroom but I couldn't reach the whole thing. I have scratches all over me. My front too, but I already took care of that one. That tree was closing in on me and I don't even want to think what could have happened if they hadn't pulled me out of there. It's safe to say that I'll gladly take these scratches. I turn around, lie on my stomach and lift my top over my head. I have to say, when I thought about giving Jonathan the chance to touch me, this is not what I had in mind. This is as far from sexy as it could possibly be. He is literally treating my wounds. Naked back or not, there's nothing sexy about it. "Do you think Nancy is going to be okay?"

"See said she would be," he mumbles. Yeah, easier said than done. We waited for her to shower, to get ready for bed and we were willing to stay, but she reassured us that we can go. I really was willing to stay there with her, to keep her company but I'm kind of glad I get to have more privacy. Dealing with it while Jonathan is with me is doable. With Nancy around, it'll be too much. "If she needs us, she knows where we are. If she changes her mind, we'll figure something out."

"Will you stay with me?" I mumble in my pillow.

"You'd have to force me out at gunpoint."

I am glad he's not asking me questions. Nancy explained what the hell happened as we were driving away from that place. She did all the taking while I was curled up in the passenger's seat, holding a cigarette with shaking hands. I never would have thought that Nancy Wheeler is braver than I am, but she is. She's alone, she could talk. I couldn't speak and I couldn't imagine being alone right now. I need Jonathan and I am glad he knows he shouldn't ask me questions. I am not ready to talk.

He slowly pulls my top down and moves around, making himself comfortable on the bed next to him. Despite avoiding eye contact for the last… two hours, I guess, I didn't avoid it now. I can clearly recognize the worry in his kind eyes. I want to reassure him that it'll all be okay but I really can't, not after what I've seen. Hours ago, I was the strong one. And now I'm just broken.

"I'm not going anywhere." He promises as he leans over and kisses my forehead. I force myself to nod my head, seeing as I can't find the words to express my gratitude. When he opens his arms, I snuggle up to him. I am nowhere near calm but at least he's with me. I couldn't go through this alone.


	19. Eye Of The Tiger

**I'm gonna keep it short right here, so that you can just jump into it. Tina is on a mission now. And yes, this is where I turn away a bit from the canon. I hope you like it ;)  
I'm pretty sure I'll update tomorrow. Until then, enjoy and don't forget to let me know what you think! And there's only one song, the chapter title.  
1)Survivor – Eye of the tiger (I know, cheesy. But it's a mission song, so…)**

 **Let me know what you think and enjoy! :)**

* * *

Waking up next to Jonathan is as nice as it is confusing. If our lives were normal, we wouldn't be able to do this. If our lives ever return to normal, we won't be able to do this. But somehow, in all this mess, waking up next to him is the least weirdest thing about my daily life.

My mind did not stop racing from the moment I woke up.

"Tina?" I hear Jonathan's groggy voice and when I turn to him, he's blinking rapidly.

"Guns won't cut it."

"What?" he asks in confusion, still half asleep. He can barely keep his eyes open.

"Guns won't cut it," I repeat, frantically shaking my head. "That thing is big. It's big and fast and I don't know what else. I don't think a simple bullet can do the trick." I tell him. Okay, I need to wait. He's not in the condition to have a proper conversation; he's not even fully awake yet!

"Can we wait a second?" he mumbles. "I don't even know where I am."

"Yeah," I jump up the bed. Fuck, my back hurts. Those scratches are painful as hell, but I need to ignore the pain. "Come on, let's have a quick breakfast and then we can regroup with Nancy."

"But Steve-"

"Can go fuck himself," I roll my eyes. At the moment, the last thing on my mind is whether or not my brother will offer a comment for Jonathan sleeping over and eating our food. "Come on." I pull Jonathan by the hand and he doesn't fight me; he gets up and lets me lead him through the house.

Cereal. There's no time for anything else. Well, there's time for coffee.

I narrow my eyes at a coffee cup that is suspiciously waiting on the kitchen counter. I touch it and sure enough, it's cold. Steve left it for me, I'm sure of it, he knows I drink my coffee cold. But how the hell would he know that I'm here? We were extra quiet last night and I even made Jonathan park one street away from here. I doubt he could have known that I was here, let alone that Jonathan was here with me.

It doesn't matter. I make some more coffee for Jonathan and I literally throw the cereal on the table.

"Tina, I know that last night was not a good night for you, but you're acting weird."

"I know," I force a smile. "I'm sorry. I know I'm weird and all that but that's… that can wait. I can deal with that later. We need to think and we need to think fast. We need to move fast too. If I'm right… I think that Will and Barb are somewhere in that place."

"In the woods on the other side?" he asks in confusion as he pours milk over his cereal.

"Maybe. But not exactly."

"Okay, you need to give me more than that." He retorts. I didn't talk last night and Nancy was cheap on the details. The time has come to explain it.

"That place was weird as hell," I tell him as I open the middle drawer, the one where mom unsuccessfully hides a pack of cigarettes. We all know she keeps them there and we all steal one or two on different occasions. I need one now and I don't have the time to run up to my room. I'm sure mom will find it in her heart to forgive me. "It was darker and it was covered in… something. Some kind of slime. In places it looked like a web. And the air was different. I could breathe but it just… I know it sounds crazy but it felt different," I sigh. No matter how crazy my words are, this entire situation is completely insane. Nothing I can say can be too weird to fit into this story. I could claim that I saw David Hasselhoff and it still wouldn't be considered too weird. "But it was the woods that we were in. It was different but it was the same. And the hole, it was the same. The tree was the same. It looked like a copy. A copy with slime and things floating around in the air. Okay, now I sound insane." I sigh and I hit my head on the table because really, what else can I do at this point?

"Babe, you're not insane." He reaches out and rubs my shoulder. Slowly, I lift my head up.

"Did you just call me 'babe'?" I don't know if I should feel flattered or embarrassed.

"Really?" he laughs at me. "You want to focus on that now?"

"I mean, it is weird," I shrug. Ah crap, his smile drops in a second. "It's not bad!" I add quickly, glad to see that smile returning again. "It's not bad it's just a bit weird. It'll take me some time to get used to it. But my point is," I sigh, returning back to the topic. I don't get to have cute couple moments with all this shit that's going down. "I think that place is the copy of our world. Like the complete copy."

"And you think Barb and Will are there?"

"Yes," I nod my head. "If that place Nancy and I were in is the exact same copy of the woods we were before we went through that tree… what if it doesn't stop there? What if it covers the whole of Hawkins? I didn't get a chance to explore but it looked exactly the same. I get that we were surrounded by trees but if I went a bit to the east, who's to say I wouldn't end up at your place?"

"You think he's in the other side's version of my house?" he asks.

"I know it's a stretch. Believe me, I know I sound like a crazy person. Just days ago, I thought that Joyce was delusional, in denial. But there is this other place. And if your house is there too, what if Will is in there? What if he is still alive, hiding from that thing and trying to communicate through the lights?"

"But that thing was in the house too, mom saw it," he tells me in a worried tone. "What if he got Will? Mom hasn't said a thing about the lights since… before the funeral?"

"That doesn't mean it got Will, it means that Will knows that the house isn't safe anymore," I refuse to believe that Will is gone. He's a smart boy. Even in that place, he can find his way. Even if he can't find a way out, I'm sure he's still out there and I need Jonathan to believe the same if we're going to try to get him out of there. "That thing was on our side when it took the deer. That means that there's no food for it on the other side. If there's no food for that thing, I doubt Will can find ground beef and bread. If he's in there, and I really think he is, we need to get him out of there."

"But the hole is closed," Jonathan reminds me. Oh, I have a reminder of that on my back and it hurts like hell. "What are we going to do, walk around the woods again? And then what, we go in, find Will and don't find a way out?" he asks.

"Look, I know it's not the smartest plan in the world," I roll my eyes. I know it's insane and I know it's stupid but it's the only thing we've got. "But that thing was out here for food. It needs to eat and judging by the size of that thing, I don't think a deer can keep it happy for more than a night. It will go out again and my guess is that it'll be in the woods again. We… we will figure out how that plan continues but what I know is that we need to find that thing if we're going to find a way in."

"But we can't leave it with us. We need to kill it," Jonathan tells me and I nod my head. That's the difficult part of the plan. If we found it last night, if it showed up four times that we know of over the course of the last couple of days, it will definitely show up again. What we need to figure out is how to deal with it when it does make an appearance. "You say that the guns are not enough?"

"I don't think so," I admit. "We didn't shoot at it last night. We hid and we ran because it was feeding. If it was just… roaming around, it would have attacked us. Maybe if we shoot in a sensitive spot or if we just shower it with bullets. But I think that we're going to need something stronger than that."

"Okay, we can find it," he nods his head. I don't know what the hell he has in mind because I think the gun is the best we can get. Maybe a shotgun? Maybe that can cause more damage? "What we need to figure out now is how to get that thing out of hiding. It took us hours yesterday and we got lucky with the deer. Who knows if we would have found it if its food wasn't half dead?"

The phone startles me. I put out my cigarette and I rush to answer the call.

"Hello?"

"I think it's like a shark."

"Nancy?" I ask in confusion.

"I couldn't sleep last night," she tells me, not acknowledging my question at all; well, I suppose she knows that I can recognize her voice. Besides, it's not like I went to a different dimension with 20 different people over the course of the last few days. "It was hungry. It took the deer. What if it is drawn by blood? You know, like a shark? Sharks can smell blood and that's how they attack?"

"You think it smells blood?" I ask, ignoring Jonathan's confused look.

"Barb cut her hand that night," she tells me. "The deer was bleeding. What if Will had hurt himself when he fell of the bike? Maybe a simple scratch was enough. If I'm right about this, the only thing we need to lure him out is a little bit of blood."

"Shit, you're right," I sigh. God, this is really happening. We are really debating how to lure the monster out, as if that could not end up being the end for us. I guess that's what you do then, for the people you love. For your brother, your best friend, your boyfriend's brother. "But we need to figure out how to fight it when we actually get it out. You saw what I saw, Nancy. That thing isn't going to be affected by a bullet." I say the same thing I told Jonathan. We need a fucking bomb if we're going to end this.

"I have an idea," Jonathan suddenly speaks up. "Tell her to meet us at the corner of her street in 30."

"But-"

"Corner of her street. 30." He cuts me off.

"Yeah, my bossy boyfriend over here has an idea he doesn't care to elaborate," I tell Nancy, rolling my eyes as I watch Jonathan running out of my kitchen. "He wants you to meet us in 30 at the corner of your street. Can you do that?" I ask.

"Sure," she agrees. "I'll see you soon."

"Yeah," I mumble as I hang up. "Jonathan?!" I call for him, slightly worried with this sudden outburst of energy. I have not seen him like this. I understand that he's excited at the opportunity for us to save his brother but he needs to keep a level head. "Jonathan, where the hell are you?" I yell from the hallway.

"We need cash," he yells from the upstairs hallway and seconds later, he starts running down the stairs. "How much cash do you have on hand? I only have like… 20 bucks."

"A lot. I saved my car money in cash. What do we need it for?"

* * *

I was thinking that we need to have a freaking flame thrower if we want to end that thing. This place doesn't exactly sell flame throwers but it does sell other things. Guns. Gas. Bear traps. Ammunition.

The plan is as simple as it is obvious. We lure it out, we trap it in a bear trap, we set it on fire. On paper, it sounds like the easiest thing ever. Just a few simple steps which we can easily do if we plan this well. The problem is, from my experience, things don't always go by plan. If one thing, one tiny thing, doesn't go the way we want it to go, we are… beyond fucked. We need to go through this plan in detail before we actually start it. But first, we need supplies. And that we have.

I find it funny how the guy behind the counter didn't even give us a weird look when we presented him with all the stuff we managed to find that could be remotely useful for our 'kill that thing' plan. We could be using these things to do something really bad but he didn't even look at us. On the bright side, at least we found out that the monster hunting gear isn't as expensive as we thought it'd be.

"Okay, someone needs to ask this question," Nancy speaks up as we are almost done with loading up the trunk of Jonathan's car. If someone stops us on our way to his place, we are dead people walking. "What if killing it is a bad idea?"

"How could it be a bad idea?" Jonathan laughs.

"What if only that thing can open a… portal?" she asks. I can completely relate to her reluctance to use the word 'portal' to describe that hole. It feels weird, I didn't want to use it either but my limited science fiction knowledge tells me that if there's a hole that can lead you to a different world, it should be called a portal. "What if killing it closes it off for good and Barb and Will end up stuck in there?"

Okay, that's a good point. A point we didn't stop to consider before. This is exactly why we need a detailed plan and we need to make it fast. Definitely before we actually try to lure the thing out.

"If it comes out, it opens a portal," Jonathan shakes his head. "It has to come out of somewhere. Maybe one of us can deal with it while the other two find Will and Barb?"

"If that place is a copy of Hawkins, we're going to need a lot of time to find them," I point out. "Knowing them, they are probably hiding. If they're hiding, they don't want to be found. If that thing can't find them, I doubt that we can do it in a couple of seconds. We need more time. And even if we have time, we're going to need a lot of fucking time to explore the whole of Hawkins."

There's… so many flaws in this plan, too many to count. But it's the only thing we have and the only thing we can do. It might backfire but until we figure something else out, it's the only plan we have.

"And even if we get in, who knows if we'll get out," Nancy adds. "That hole closed up pretty fast light night. Will and Barb didn't find a way out yet. Maybe we won't find one either."

"We know more about it than they do," Jonathan retorts as he slams the trunk. I have never seen him act like this. He's not yelling but I can see just how on edge he is about this. Out of the two of us, I am usually the one who makes comments and who acts like this. I guess that the fact that his brother is out there is something that worries him. It is a reason for panic. If Will's there and all the signs are showing that he is, he's been there a long time. "They had no idea where they were going. They were taken there. We are going in there on our own free will. With weapons. We will get out."

"But still, the entire town," Nancy points out. "It could take us days and we don't have that much time."

"Maybe not," I mumble, making the both of them look at me in wonder. "I mean, I don't know where Barb is. I don't know her well enough to guess but I do know Will. Will has been at the house this whole time. It might not be safe now but I have a feeling Will wouldn't go too far from it. If I would have to make any guesses, I'd say he's still in the house or close to it. I don't know about Barb."

Another possible problem, a big one at that. Who the hell is our priority? To me and Jonathan, it's Will. To someone on the outside, it would probably still be Will. He's younger; he's been in there longer. He needs to get out of there first but that doesn't mean that we don't give a shit about Barb. To Nancy, Barb is a priority. I can get that. If Jonathan was in there, I don't know what the hell I'd do. Then again, if he was in there with Mike, I'm not so sure I'd be willing to throw Mike away. I don't think I'd be able to make one of them a bigger priority. And Mike and Will are the same, the same age, the same capability. We can't make that choice. We can't put one over the other. It wouldn't… it wouldn't be fair.

"We need to figure it all out before we get that thing out."

"Do you know where Barb would go?" Jonathan asks her. If anyone can answer that, it has to be Nancy. I wish I knew more about that girl, but I won't be of help here and neither will Jonathan.

"I think she'd go home," Nancy tells us after thinking about it for a few seconds. "Or she's stick around your house," she adds, looking at me. "We need to take into consideration that they can't move a lot in there. We don't know where it took Will and he has been at the house since. Maybe they have to stay close to the place where they were taken from."

It does make sense. If we could somehow ask Will or Barb… the alphabet that Joyce wrote on the wall comes to mind, but the lights haven't flickered in a while. And there's no way we could talk to Will over the lights without Joyce or Lonnie noticing what we are doing and that's too big of a risk. Then again, luring out that thing with blood is a huge risk on its own. We do have one thing set in stone and that's that we're the only ones who will know, the only ones that will do it. We are not going to bring anyone else in such danger and that means we are definitely not going to do it while Joyce is nearby.

"We need to sit down and we need to figure this shit out before we actually do anything," I point out the obvious. Both Jonathan and Nancy look uneasy and I get them. We are asking for time in a situation where we don't have the luxury to ask for more time. But it's not an option. "Not thinking about this in detail can get us killed. We could end up dead or stuck in there. If that happens, no one will know where to look. No one will find us and no one will find them. We have one shot. Just one shot."

"You're right," Jonathan nods his head. "We need to think it through. Where can we do that? We need to be alone. We can't have my mom or Steve or Mike walking in on the plan."

"I think the woods are a bad idea," Nancy tells us. Okay, why? We found it there before. "They're too dark and there are too many places for it to hide." She explains. Okay, that's a good point, I'll give her that. It could be pretty stupid to lure it out in the woods but then again…

"But there's also places for us to hide," I retort. This time around, they are quiet. "We need to figure this shit out because all the guns in the world won't be of help if we can't agree on what our next move is going to be and where it'll take place. We need to sit down, eat, drink coffee and agree on everything." I add. I don't want to be the mom of the group but that cereal's not gonna be enough and just last night, both Nancy and I were traumatized by that thing. If she's anything like me, she didn't get enough sleep. If we are going to jump into this, we need to do it with a clear head and a solid plan. We have neither now. And if someone needs to be the mom here, I might as well just step up and do it.

"We need to-" Jonathan starts talking but a loud honking noise makes us jump up. Looking like three guilty idiots, all three of us lean on the trunk, as if we are trying to hide the entire car behind us. My heart beats like crazy, thinking we've been discovered by the cops but I breathe out a sigh of relief when I recognize the guy that's leaning out of a passing car. It's Dave, one of Steve's "friends".

"Hey Nancy!" he yells. "I can't wait to see your new movie!"

"Nance?" I ask in confusion but by the time I turn around to here, she's already running. I didn't think she'd react to it, that she'd take it seriously. She's a smart girl, she should know that reacting to stupid comments in any way is just going to make it worse. If she's faced with that crap, she needs to turn around and ignore it. Instead of doing that, she's running down the street. "Nancy, slow down!" I yell after her as Jonathan and I try to keep up. Suddenly, she freezes in place and I can hear her sobs. It takes me a second to realize what had caused it. In bright red paint, under the title of "All the right moves" was her name, along with THE SLUT written as a middle name. Written for the whole town to see.

Maybe it wasn't Steve. Why would he do something like that? The way he's been acting lately, I think he really likes her. Normally, it would take him days to move on from one girl to the next and Nancy actually stuck around. He might have been a dick towards Jonathan and me the other day but as far as I know, she was never one of his targets. When we talked about him yesterday, she didn't mention anything negative. Maybe it wasn't Steve. Then again, the only dickhead that I know that would do something like this is Tommy. And seeing as Tommy's a spineless asshole, he could not have done it without my brother's blessing. No, it can't be Steve. He wouldn't do that to her. I'm the target of his suppressed rage, not Nancy. He wouldn't do it.

Whether or not Steve's the one to blame, Nancy is crying. And that doesn't sit well with me.

"Come on Nancy," I sigh as I put my arm around her shoulder. "Don't pay attention to this. Whoever did this… it doesn't matter. I'm sure the workers here will let us clean it up in no time." I tell her.

"I'll go and ask," Jonathan offers but Nancy has something else on her mind. She suddenly turns around and it takes me a second to hear it too. By the time Jonathan and I realize that she heard loud laughter, she's already crossing the street. "Nancy, wait!" Jonathan calls after her but all we can do is follow her. And she's on the right track. As we approach the alley, I hear laughter and someone using spray paint.

I wanted to think it wasn't him. I really wanted to. Yet again, Steve Harrington disappoints. This time around, I'm not the one that slaps him. To my surprise, Nancy slaps him good, even causing his merry little group of friends to "boo" and whistle. What the hell do I do now? I can't just stand on the side when I need Nancy with me and I can't just let her attack my brother even if he deserves it.

"What is wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? I was actually worried about you. I can't believe I was actually worried about you!"

"Steve, what the hell are you talking about?" Nancy yells at him.

"Careful now," of course, Carol had to speak up. "You don't want to be known as a _lying_ slut."

"Okay, if you don't shut up, I will shut you up myself!" I snap. No one even glanced at me, not until I outright threatened Carol. I can hear the others chuckle but I keep my eyes on her. Carol isn't laughing. As stupid as she is, she can tell that she took it one step too far. If there is one person in this world that can annoy the hell out of me without even trying, it's Carol. She meddles into _everything!_

"You came by last night, didn't you?" I hear Nancy's voice but when I look away from Carol, I look to my brother, who completely ignores Nancy and keeps his eyes on me.

"Do you know what's been going on behind your back?" Steve asks, looking directly at me. "Do you have any idea what your boyfriend's been doing? You defend him, attack me and all the while he's been screwing Nancy the slut Wheeler behind your back!"

"What are you talking about? Have you been using drugs?" I manage to utter, looking at my brother as if he grew out a second head. Joyce, with all the lights talk, sounded saner that Steve does at the moment. Out of all the things he could have come up with, I would expect something a bit more believable.

"I saw them, Tina," he tells me, dead serious. "I saw them last night, in her room." Ah. Now I get it.

"My god, you are such an idiot," I mumble. I can't believe him. I can't believe his stupidity. If he had just asked or talked about it, none of this would be happening. "I was there, Steven!"

"No, you weren't." he laughs, shaking his head.

"Yes I was!" I yell. "I was with them the whole fucking time. If you were creeping through her window, you probably missed me by a second because I had to use the freaking bathroom!" I yell. For once, for once in his damned life, Steve is silent. Well, I guess I believe in miracles from now on.

"Great, now he managed to get you two in a threesome." I glare at Tommy. I wish I had the energy to focus on him but right now, my idiot brother is a bigger worry. He looks unfazed by my words.

"I don't believe you." Steve shakes his head.

"Why the hell would I lie about it?" I ask. Really, I want to hear what he has to say about it. Why the hell would I cover Jonathan's ass if he was cheating on me? Who in their right mind would do such a thing?!

"Because you're in love with this creep and because for whatever reason, you are hanging out with Nancy!" he shouts at me.

Oh my god. Just when I think that nothing that Steve says or does could surprise me, he comes up with something like this. To think that I actually felt guilty when I saw him at the funeral! To think that I actually wondered if I was the bad guy in this story! I am done. I am done with trying to understand him, I am done with trying to justify his actions and his words and I am simply done with him.

"I can't believe I'm related to someone as stupid as you are," I mumble as I link my arm with Nancy's. I need to get her out of here and she needs to calm down. "She's not cheating on you. He's not cheating on me. I know your head isn't totally empty but you should consider using what's in it every now and then. Come on, let's go." I urge Nancy in a low voice; she's upset enough as it is.

"Let's go." Jonathan rushes the two of us as I finally manage to get the girl to turn her back to Steve.

"You know what Byers? I'm actually kind of impressed," Steve starts following us and this time around, I link my arm with Jonathan's. He can't react to Steve's provoking, that's what Steve wants him to do. He can't do that and I won't let him, even if I have to break his arm with how hard I'm squeezing it with my own. "I always took you for a queer but not only do you bang my sister but you also bang my girlfriend," he pushes Jonathan. I start walking faster, making Jonathan speed up too. Nancy is already more angry than she is hurt, she can hold her ground. Jonathan's a bigger worry right now. "I guess you're just a screw up like your father."

"Don't listen to him." I mumble as my brother pushes him again. We just keep on walking.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! That house is full of screw ups!" he does it again.

"Jonathan, just keep walking."

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised, there's a bunch of screw ups in your family," Jonathan freezes in place. I glare at him, urging him to keep walking but he just stares blankly ahead. I have never seen such a look on his face. He is… he is close to his breaking point. "No wonder my sister fell for you, a screw up for a screw up. You know, I'm not even surprised with what happened to your brother-"

"Steven, shut the fuck up!" I yell. He crossed the line. He definitely crossed the line.

"I'm sorry to be the one to tell you but Byers, you and your family are a disgrace to the-"

I knew it was coming, I could see it. I could see it and I couldn't move fast enough to stop it. Jonathan turns around and slams his fist into my brother's face.

"No, stop it!" I yell once I see Steve ready to fight back; I try to jump in the middle, thinking that I'm the only person that could actually get them to stop but Steve pushes me away; he pushes me away so hard, I nearly lose my balance and fall. I manage to stay on my feet but Jonathan saw what Steve had tone and I'm afraid that just gave him more motivation. Despite Steve pinning him to the car, Jonathan gets the upper hand and slams Steve to the ground. "Please, stop! Stop it! Jonathan! Steve!"

Neither one of them is listening and no one is helping either; Nancy and I are the only ones that are doing anything and Steve's little group just stands on the side and watches. I try to get into the middle again but they just roll around on the ground, with Steve hitting Jonathan this time around.

"Steve, stop it!" Nancy and I yell at the same time but by the time the words our out, Jonathan is on top of him and he starts beating the hell out of him. "Jonathan!" I yell, but nothing happens. That's when I hear it. Sirens. Cop sirens. We are so fucked. "Jonathan, cops, we need to go!" I yell.

There was a slim chance of us walking away from this, but Jonathan throws that into water when he pushes the cop off of him and hits him in the face. All hell breaks loose at that point, with Steve running away with Tommy's help, one cop chasing after them and the other one handcuffing Jonathan.

* * *

Whenever you stop to think that it can't get any worse, it gets worse.

"Open the trunk," the cop tells me again. "I'm not asking the third time."

I had to drive Jonathan's car because they were taking him to the station and they wanted me and Nancy to follow. Even if they didn't want us there, we would still go. What I wasn't expecting is that they would want to check his car. By some miracle, Nancy and I had the guns on us. Jonathan didn't have a weapon on him, but his trunk is full of things cops should not find. I didn't think of that and neither did Nancy. If I knew they'd want to check his car, we would have walked to the station.

"I'm not asking the third time!"

I open the trunk and look away. I notice that Nancy suddenly finds the ground to be pretty interesting.

"What the hell was he doing with this?"

Wow. I was reluctant to open the trunk, Nancy and I both look guilty as hell and he can't connect the dots? No wonder this town is falling apart, if this guy is one of our finest.

"How would we know?" Nancy shrugs. She picked up on it too. If Jonathan's going to be in there the whole day, we need to save our own asses. I don't like the idea of throwing him under the bus but for one, it is his car. And also, Will and Barb are still out there. If one of us is in police captivity, at least the other two can do something. If all three of us are stuck in here, we can't do anything.

"Go back inside." The cop orders us as he takes the box full of weapons out of the trunk.

I feel the gun that's tucked in the back of my jeans; it's like it's burning. The other one is on Nancy. The third one was dropped while we were on the other side: guilty. And I have no idea where Jonathan's gun is. All I know is that it wasn't on him when they arrested him, it's not in the trunk and the stupid ass cop didn't think to search the rest of the car. We're all in trouble but at least Jonathan's not going to end up in jail because he doesn't have a license to carry a fire arm.

"I'll try to find some ice for him," I tell Nancy and she nods. I make eye contact with the secretary, who was eyeing me up and obviously listening in to our conversation because she nods her head in the direction of the small office kitchen. I follow here there and watch as she opens the small freezer. "How long are we going to be here?" I ask her.

"You and your friend will be out soon enough," she tells me as she slams the ice mold onto the counter, causing the cubes to fall out of it and me to jump up. "Your lover boy will have to wait." She adds.

"For how long?" I ask. No matter how hard I try, I can't hide my impatience.

"What, you have date night plans?" she asks as she puts the ice on a cloth. "If you love him, make sure he doesn't do something stupid like this again. Boyfriend versus brother. You are in trouble, my dear."

"They didn't fight because of me." I narrow my eyes at her.

"Of course not." she laughs as she pushes the cloth into my hands. I am not going to fight with an older lady, no matter how much her all-knowing look is getting on my nerves. I bite my tongue and join Jonathan and Nancy. As much as I'm sure that Steve got the short end of the stick, I can see a bruise starting to form on Jonathan's right cheek. I kneel on the ground in front of him and I gently put the ice on his face. Steve might not lose sleep over this, but I'm feeling guilty for the both of us.

"I'm going to kill Steve for this." I sigh. I don't care if he got more hits, he's the one who stated it.

"Tina, don't talk about killing someone in a police station." Nancy tells me in a hushed voice.

"Like I give a shit," I roll my eyes. "He will pay for this."

"Tina, I need you to go." Jonathan utters in a low voice.

"What?" I ask in confusion. I understand that he's upset about all of this but I wasn't expecting him to push me away with such ease. I swear to god, if he ruins my relationship, I will strangle Steve.

"No, I mean it," he keeps his voice low, so that only Nancy and I can hear him. "You two have guns you're not supposed to have. Mom is going to freak out and you need to get to her before they call her. Hide the guns and try to calm her down. Nancy and I will stay here and you can come here with her."

"Nance, give me the gun," I tell her in a low voice. I look around as she takes the gun out of her inner coat pocket. No one is even looking at us. As soon as I feel the gun in my hand, I lift my shirt up and tuck it in, before zipping my jacket. "I'll be back soon. Don't do anything stupid, okay?" I ask. Jonathan only nods his head and I give him a quick kiss before getting back up on my feet and walking up to the secretary, that is now talking to the cop that Jonathan accidentally punched. "Can I leave?"

"You're not going to wait with your boyfriend?" the lady raises her eyebrow at me.

"No, I'm going to try to find the son of a bitch that started this damned fight. If you'd listen to us, you'd known it's wasn't Jonathan's fault." I remind the cop.

"He assaulted me." the guy tells me. That is not even remotely true!

"No, he didn't, you…" I start but I don't finish the sentence. Insulting a cop would do me no good. Especially not now, when I need to leave the station. "Can I go now? I need to find his mother."

"Yeah, you can go."

I didn't need to hear anything else. I get out of the station and I start running. I have never been a runner, I hate running and I nearly fail PE every single year because I'm lazy as fuck. Now, I am more than willing to run. I need to get to my house and leave the guns there. Even better, I need to get mom's car and I can keep the guns there. That way, we're not going to be too far from them when they finally let Jonathan go. Besides, I'll get to Joyce faster if I have a car. And if I happen to run into Steve, I'll kill him. Busy, busy, busy. And my mood is not getting better with all this running.

Luckily, I live close to the station. I run through the house, checking if Steve's there. I see no sign of him so I lock the doors and I jump in mom's car. I hide the guns in the glove compartment, I light a cigarette and I blast the stereo.

Joyce. I need to find Joyce. She's going to lose her mind. She thinks one of her sons is dead and now the other one is arrested… I need to calm her down. I know that I'm already on the cops' radar and I know how risky it is to go over the speed limit, seeing as I just left the police station… I know it all but I don't have the time to be the responsible citizen. For all I know, they've already reached Joyce. I might already be too late. I step on the gas.

The good thing is that I don't lose focus, despite the music, despite the cigarette. Even if three bikes were to appear out of nowhere, I could stop. Just in time. Inches away from hitting Dustin.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMNED MINDS?!" I shout from the top of my lungs as I jump out of the car. I can handle a lot of crap from kids, especially kids that I actually like, but running their bikes like this in the middle of the road?! I nearly killed them!

"No! No, no, no, no!" Mike yells. "Not her, she's our friend!"

"What the hell is going on here?!" I yell. If he thinks a simple "no" can stop me, he's dead wrong.

"Tina, we need your help!" Dustin yells.

"No, you need to get your asses whopped!" I snap at him. "Are you out of your minds?! You can't just ride your bikes like this in the middle of the road! I could have killed you, do you think-"

"Tina, they are after us!" Lucas shouts at me and for the first time, I see pure panic on their faces.

"Who the hell is after you?!" I shout. Is everyone in this town completely insane?! Who would be chasing three kids on bikes?! Other kids?!

"Bad people. Very bad people." Mike tells me. It's only then that I notice that their little group has one member extra. A girl with a shaved head and in a pink dress is sitting behind Mike. I've never seen her before. I stare at her and she stares back at me, looking apprehensive.

"What the hell is going on here?"

"Tina, they will kill us, we are not shitting you." Dustin manages to shout, despite still struggling to breathe properly. I wasn't the only one going over the speed limit.

"Get in the car," I sigh. They can explain it all in the car. They better explain it all. If they actually stop staring at me and listen to what I am saying. "Am I speaking Chinese over here?! Get in the fucking car!"

"But what about our bikes?!" Lucas asks as I open the car door.

"Cram them in, leave them, I don't care! But get in the car, NOW!"


	20. Renegade - Part 1

**Well, here we go guys. I promised you I'd… deter a little bit from the canon and here we go ;) there's only one song for this chapter but trust, it fits the whole darned thing.  
1)Styx – Renegade**

 **As always, thank you so much for your continued support. If I didn't have it, I doubt I would have so much energy to write this, despite having a freakin' full time job :D It means A LOT and pretty please don't stop with it :D Continue to review and I promise I'll continue to deliver solid chapters ;)**

 **I hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

* * *

I think I have a problem. Like a serious mental problem. I nearly run over four kids with my car and the moment I see panic on their faces, I just decide to believe that bad men are chasing them. I wait for them to put their bikes in my car and to cram inside, despite my common sense telling me that this has to be the stupidest thing I have ever done. Not only that, but I actually listen to them when they tell me to drive fast and to stay away from the main roads. I think I am insane. I think I am absolutely insane.

"Which one of you is going to explain all of this?" I ask, reminding myself to keep my voice steady. As much as I want to kill them, they are kids. Kids do stupid things. I wasn't any smarter when I was a kid. Then again, I didn't ride my bike like a crazy person, claiming bad people want to kill me. Okay, they are kids. They are kids. And what I'm doing with them, I have no fucking idea.

"Explain what?" Mike asks. Oh, he's lucky I need to keep both hands on the wheel.

"Well, for one, why the hell were you riding your bikes like psychos? Then it would be nice to know who exactly you're running from. Once you're over with that, you can tell me why the hell I am driving you out of town. And then, if we still have any time left, it would be nice to know who the hell is this girl with the shaved head that looks at me like I'm insane?!"

"One by one," Dustin tells me in a calming voice but I think he realizes he took it too far when I glare at him in the rearview mirror. I would laugh at the bicycle tire being inches away from his face, if I wasn't so pissed off at the entire situation. "We were riding our bikes like crazy because we're running away."

"Running away from whom?"

"The bad guys." Lucas chimes in.

"Kid, I'm going to need more than that."

"The bad guys that our after El." Mike tells me.

"Let me take a wild guess; the girl is El?" I turn to Mike, who is sinking into the passenger's seat. He nods his head. "Well, nice to meet you El. And who exactly are you?" I ask, looking at the girl in the rearview mirror. She looks… scared. Scared and lost. Ugh, I need to be kinder with her.

"She's our friend," Dustin tells me. "She ran away from them. They want to hurt her. And now they want to hurt us for helping her." I look at the girl again. I wouldn't go as far as to say that I believe them but the girl definitely looks scared. And the shaved head… I get why a punk girl would sport a hairstyle like that and hey, it suits her fine, but I have never seen a single kid with hair like that, at least not a girl.

"But who are the bad people?" I ask and this time around, no one offers to explain. "Why are they after her? Guys, for fuck's sake, I told you this before. You can trust me. I'm driving you away, I'm helping you escape. I deserve to hear the truth." I don't raise my voice this time around. They obviously need help, whether they are making this up or not. And the girl… she needs help.

"We found El-" Lucas starts.

"No!" Mike interrupts him with a shout.

"No, you 'no'!" Lucas yells back at him. "Tina is our friend, you said so yourself! She is helping us! She deserves to know the truth! She can even help us with everything!"

"Guys, stop it," I interrupt them before Mike gets a chance to fight back. "I'm driving you to the junkyard, like you told me. I'm helping you. I'm not going to turn the car around and sell you out to your parents or the bad guys. I can help you but you need to trust me."

"Will is alive!" Dustin blurts out. My arms stop functioning completely, going all stiff for a second and I nearly crash the car in a lamppost.

"What?!" I yell, as I swirl the car back to its normal route. I nearly lost control of it for a second. Reasonable, seeing as I almost had a heart attack. I was expecting to hear all kinds of reasons but I was not expecting them to know the truth.

"Will isn't dead," Lucas sighs, completely ignoring Mike, who was obviously against them telling me what they know. "He is alive but he's been taken by the Demogorgon. The Demogorgon took him and is keeping him in a different dimension. The Upside Down. El can find him. El ran away from the bad guys and she has… powers. She found Will over the radio and she might be able to find him in the Upside Down. She might even fight the Demogorgon but the bad guys want to take her to the bad place she escaped from. Will isn't dead and El is our only chance of finding him."

The more Lucas spoke, the more I started to shake. At first, I was confused as to how the hell did they manage to find out something like this. It took Jonathan and me days to figure it out and we wouldn't have done it without Nancy's help. If she did not show up with that ripped up photo, we would probably still think that Will is dead. When he talked about El and her having powers, I was about to lose my shit and call them out for lying but… really? I've seen that monster with my own two eyes. Would it be so crazy to believe that some kid has abilities and is running away from people who want to use those abilities? A week ago, I would roll my eyes at the mention of a human like monster. Now? I wouldn't.

Once again, I look at the girl and this time, she's looking at me. I can't read her, I can't tell anything other than she's a little bit freaked out. The only reason she's not panicking is probably because she can see that the boys trust me and for whatever reason, she trusts them.

Oh my god. Oh my god. How is all of this even real?!

"I told you she wouldn't believe us!" Mike snaps at Lucas and Dustin. "You wanted to tell her and I told you she wouldn't believe a single word we say!"

"I believe you."

"What?" Mike asks in surprise.

"I said I believe you." I mumble. I can't even talk in my normal tone. All of this… it's insane. It's insane and unbelievable but it's real. I don't understand. Why? How? Why? And how the hell are we connected to it? Why Will? Why this girl? Why me? How did I end up in this mess and how do I get out of it?

"Why?" Lucas asks, sounding just as surprised as Mike did.

"Because I was there," I mumble. I keep my hands on the wheel but I turn my head to look at them. Mike, who is sitting next to me and looking at me, wide-eyed. Dustin and Lucas look equally shocked. Hell, even the weird little girl looks at me like I'm the weird one here. "I was there. I… I… there was a hole in a tree and… we were looking for Will. I know he's not dead. We know he's not dead. We know he's there. Jonathan and I… and Nancy too…"

"Nancy?" Mike asks in surprise. "What the hell does Nancy have to do with any of this?"

"She was there too," I shake my head. Even the mere memory of that place brings a chill to my bones. I don't want to remember it, I don't want to talk about it but if I want these kids to believe in what I'm saying, I need to give them something. "Her best friend was taken too, not just Will. And we… we figured it out. Will was trying to talk with us through the lights and he's stuck on the other side…"

"The Upside Down." Dustin corrects me.

"Fine, the Upside Down," I roll my eyes. Does it really matter how we're gonna call it? It's a bad place and he shouldn't be there, period. "We saw a hole, we walked through it and we were there. And we saw that thing."

"The Demogorgon." Dustin jumps in.

"Does it really matter now?!" I snap, finally losing my cool. "The Demo-something, we saw it. So yeah, I guess I believe you. You know as much as I do but… who is El?" I ask, eyeing Mike and not the girl herself. She doesn't fit into the story. She just… she doesn't fit into all of this.

"That's a longer story," Mike sighs. "Let's just… let's just hide first and then we will tell you everything."

"Dude, you have to tell me."

"We will," Lucas reassures me. I trust Lucas. He's the one who wanted to tell me everything. I don't trust Mike with anything that he says at this point. If they listened to Lucas and told me about this earlier, maybe we would already have Will on our side, and not stuck in the Upside Down. Any communication between me and them is going to go through Lucas. He will talk, he will explain and I will listen. And Mike can go sulk in a corner, as far as I'm concerned. "I promise."

"Okay," I nod my head. "Now, where do I turn?"

* * *

When they told me to park in the woods, I listened. When they told me to hide with them in the bus, I listened. When they told me what they had to tell me, I got up and started walking away.

"Tina!" Dustin yells after me. "Where are you going? You can't just leave us!"

"I'm not leaving you!" I yell as I walk through the door. "I'll be back in a second!"

I run to the car. I should have parked it closer to the bus but they were paranoid. After hearing their story, I get it. Still, I hate running and I've been running way too much today. I get the guns out of the glove compartment and I tuck one in my jeans while I proceed to load the other one as I walk back to the bus. I see their eyes go wide when they see what I have in my hands.

"Fucking hell, I'm not going to use it on you," I roll my eyes at their expressions. "But I'll be damned if I let anyone take you away," I announce as I sit down. "Just give me a moment to think." I add.

Okay, I might actually have to kill someone. I have a problem with that, a huge problem with that, but if they are as dangerous as the kids tell me, I shouldn't lose sleep. Hopefully, it won't get to that. Hopefully, I won't have to use the gun and even more than that, I won't have to give the other gun to one of them. If it gets to that and I sure as hell hope it won't, it'll go to Lucas. He has his slingshot ready and if any one of them has a good aim, it's him. Man I hope it doesn't come to that!

"How long is this going to take?" Lucas breaks the silence.

"Shut up!" I warn him. "I'm trying to think!"

If there is a monster from a different dimension that is taking people away… they know. They told me that the girl had set it free. The people who were in charge of her, they know about it. And the place she escaped from, the Hawkin's lab… I've been living in this town since I was born. I don't know a single damned thing about that place, other than that it's a lab and that it's named after our town.

If I didn't go in that place, if I haven't seen that thing with my own two eyes, I wouldn't have believed a single word they said. I would call their bluff, I would turn around and drive away. But after everything I've seen over the last couple of days, after deciding to believe that Will is still alive, that he is still out there and after risking my life to help him, I can no longer shake my head and throw it all away as nonsense. It's real. Shit like this is real. It's not a theme for a movie, it's real life.

Oh god, Jonathan is still with the cops. Joyce must already be on her way there and they have no idea where the hell I am. We need to find Will, I need to get back to them but I can't just leave four kids behind to fend for themselves. No way. I wouldn't be able to live with a decision like that. If I am here, I am here until it's safe for them to leave.

I'll probably end up in jail. By what they told me, the government is after the girl, not some private company that we could expose. It's the fucking government. I'm going to end up in some… high security state prison! And that's only if they don't kill us all and silence us for good. I can't leave them. I can't leave these kids. I can't do that. I need to stick it through.

"Okay," I sigh, finally able to sort my thoughts. "We can't stay here for good. We're going to have to find a way to get to Jonathan and Nancy." I announce.

"Why the hell would we want to get to them?" Dustin asks.

"I told you, they know it too," I shake my head. "They can help. I can't do this alone."

"Where are they now?" Mike asks.

"They were at the police station when I left them," I mumble. All of them look at me in surprise. "It has nothing to do with Will. Jonathan was… arrested." I admit.

"What the hell did he do?" Lucas wonders.

"Kicked the shit out of my brother," I sigh as I slide down from the seat. They're all on the ground for a good reason. We are hiding. I'm taller than all of them, if anyone needs to sit down and learn how to stay hidden, it's me. Even if the floor of the bus is filthy as hell. "Unfortunately, I think he could have squeezed in a few more punches."

"What the hell have you been doing these last couple of days?" Mike asks in shock.

"Breaking law. Kind of like you," I joke. Okay, this is not the time for jokes. We're in deep shit. If I thought we were in deep shit before, this beats it. I'm trying to keep four kids safe and hidden from government officials who apparently want to hurt them. It doesn't get any worse than that. I sigh and I look at the girl. The girl that started this whole mess. She still looks lost and she hasn't said a single word since I ran into them. They told me that it was all an accident and looking at the girl now, I believe them. She's a child. A lost child. Superpowers or not, she's just a kid. And I don't even want to imagine what they did to her. From what the boys told me, it wasn't pretty. And even they don't know the whole story. "Hey? I call out and she's the last one that turns around to look at me. I force a small smile as I lean over Dustin and reach out my hand. "Eleven, right?" I ask and she nods her head, still apprehensive. "I'm Tina. I wish we met under better circumstances, but what the hell, right?" I ask.

"You shake hands with someone when you meet them," Mike tells her and he makes her lift her right arm. "Here, like this," he drops her hand only to grab mine and shake it. "You do it now." He instructs her and sure enough, she listens to him. "You say your name too."

"I'm Tina." I repeat.

"I'm Eleven." She mumbles in a low voice as she shakes my hand.

"You can let go now," Mike smiles at her and once again, she listens to him. "Tina is our friend. Will, he has a big brother. His big brother is Jonathan and he's looking for him too. Tina is Jonathan's girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?" Eleven asks in confusion.

"Yeah, a friend and a girl."

"Oh boy, you're not explaining that term right," I chuckle as I stand up and walk over to them, before I make room for myself on Eleven's other side. "It's a bit complicated, but when you really, really like a friend, you're a bit more than friends. Okay?" I ask and she nods her head. I don't think she gets it but I really can't explain it without talking about crushing on someone, love and sex and those are all conversations I am not ready to have with a child. "But I'm his friend too. And Wills friend. And a friend of these three… crazy, little people."

"She even bought us Halloween costumes," Dustin speaks up. "She's super cool."

"Cool?" Eleven asks, confused by the term.

"They really haven't taught you anything, have they?" I ask but she just looks at me. "Okay. Let's make a deal. I'll teach you what 'cool' is and you'll do something for me in return."

"What?" she frowns at me.

"Show me your powers," I smile, but I see the worried look on her face. "Nothing big. I don't want you to hurt anyone or to make them fly or anything like that. Just… something simple."

I guess there's a part of me that doesn't want to believe it to be true. Believing it would close the door for good, the door to my sanity. I saw a monster and I believe in monsters. I believe that Will is alive and trapped in a different dimension. Seeing a kid with super powers would close and lock that door for good and I guess that a part of me wants to shrug it off as the product of their imagination.

Eleven nods her head and closes her eyes. Moments later, she opens her eyes and I look at her, waiting for something. It takes me a second to realize that her nose is bleeding.

"Whoa, are you okay?" I jump up, alerted.

"That happens every time," Mike informs me. "She will be okay. She always is," he reassures me. I'm not so sure if the kid knows that nose bleeds are not a good sign of anything. "Look at this." He tells me and it's only then that I look away from the two of them and actually notice that she is doing something. Mike's walkie-talkie that was on the ground is floating, mid-air. Nothing is holding it, no strings, no nothing. I look back at Eleven, who looks at me and I hear the walkie-talkie fall down to the ground.

Okay. Okay. Sure, I can deal with this. I can deal with one of the kids having super powers while barely able to form a full sentence. Yeah, this happens all the time. It's normal, just as it's normal that they're being chased by bad guys with guns who do bad stuff to her, as they had explained. It's all normal.

"She can do more than that," Lucas speaks up but I keep my eyes peeled on the girl. She looks afraid again. When Mike and I were talking to her, she did look a bit more relaxed but she's right back to waiting for me to do something bad. I don't blame her. The boys are her age. And I probably look more like one of the bad men than I look like a kid. "She can find Will. She will find Will."

"Cool?" I ask and she nods her head. It's my turn to explain. "What you just did? That is cool."

I wait for a reaction for what seems like forever. Then finally, the little girl manages to crack a smile.

"See?" Dustin chuckles. "Told you she's one of the good ones." He sounds so proud of himself.

"Yes I am," I proudly nod my head. "One of the good ones and a friend."

"Friend." Eleven repeats, still wearing a small smile.

"Friend," I confirm, nodding my head. "A friend that will keep you safe from those bastards. Now, we need a plan," I move around so that I can sit in front of all four of them. "We can't stay here for good, not if we want to get Will out on time. We can't stay stuck on this bus." I say as I fish out my nearly done pack of cigarettes from my pocket.

"But where the hell are we going to go when they are looking for us?" Mike asks.

"They are looking for four kids on bikes," I point out as I light my cigarette. "They are not looking for me and they are not looking for a car. Besides, El here is the most recognizable out of us. If she ducks down, if all four of you hide in the car, duck as I drive around town, no one will give me a second glance."

"But what if they've seen us together?" Lucas asks. Okay, he does have a point. How do we know that they did not see us while they were getting into my car? And later, when I was driving out of Hawkins? Four kids and three bikes? We weren't hiding back then.

"I'm pretty sure that they would have already shown up if they knew where we were," I tell them. But then again, I'm not 100% sure, am I? "But you might be right. It'll be too risky and we can't do risky right now. We can't use your bikes because they're looking for bikes and well, I'd have to run after you. We can't walk, not unless you climb on each other's shoulders and wear a coat. And we can't drive."

"Basically, we're stuck." Dustin sighs.

"If only I could get to Jonathan," I bang my head on the seat behind me. "But even if I could, he might still be at the station. They have no idea where the hell I am, I was supposed to go to Mrs. Byers."

Joyce must have already gotten to the station as is probably yelling at Jonathan as we speak. Even a cool mom like her would have a problem with her kid being arrested and caught with a bear trap and a bunch of other weapons in the car. Oh god, what if she figures things out when she sees the bear trap?

It changes nothing. They're still there and we are still here. No matter how many people know, they are still too far from us to be of any help. And we can't stay here forever. If they are trying to find us, they will find us at one point. Even if they comb through the entire town, they are definitely going to consider this place as a possible hide out at one point. We can't stay on the bus and just… starve to death.

"What is that?" Eleven asks and I look around, startled. Then I realize she's pointing at my cigarette.

"Oh. Cigarette. Smoking. Very bad," I tell her. Ah, the everlasting problem of being a smoker. How to explain to the kiddos that you keep doing something that is bad for you? "Grown-ups sometimes do stuff that are bad for them. Like… they are bad but you enjoy them."

"I don't… understand." She admits.

"Don't worry El," Lucas laughs. "Neither do we."

"Oh yeah? I'll see you when you start picking up girls in your car with a cigarette in your mouth." I laugh.

"Okay, maybe I'll understand it then."

God, I adore these kids. Even in shit like this, they can make me laugh. I am currently in the biggest trouble I've ever been with and they can actually make me laugh.

"Guys, back to the plan," Mike rolls his eyes. "We have to figure something out. Shooting them should be the last thing we do. El can keep us safe but not from everyone and everything."

"No," I shake my head. "No, I don't want her hurting anyone, not when I can take care of it. If I can't take care of it, hurt the bad people. But if I can handle it, don't. Okay?"

I don't care how powerful she is, she's a kid. She shouldn't kill people just because she can. I don't think she's some psycho murdered in the making, but her nose started bleeding when she lifted that walkie-talkie up. I don't want to imagine what killing someone could do to her, what kind of state she would be after it. And I can't even think of what it could do to her mentally. The kid looks like she's been through enough. I don't want to raise her body count up, not if I can handle it with a gun.

"Okay." She nods her head. At least she trusts me enough to listen to me. I hope.

* * *

" _97, 98, 99, 100," I finish counting and move away from the tree. "Okay, let's do this!"_

" _You have to say it!" I hear Dustin's voice shouting at me._

" _No, I don't."_

" _Yes, you do!" this time around, it's Will who's complaining._

" _No, I really don't."_

" _Tina, just say it already!" Jonathan loses his patience._

" _Fine!" I sigh, rolling my eyes at their childish antics. "Ready or not, here I come!"_

 _As much as I would like to pretend as if they have forced me into this, it's actually kind of fun. I get to be a kid again. It's been years since I've played hide and seek and even then, it wasn't such an… operation. These kids don't do anything halfway. No way. We are divided into two teams and as they say, the teams are "of equal strength, resourcefulness and competence". I don't think I even knew what resourcefulness meant when I was 12._

 _Mike, Lucas and I are team 'Rocky' while Jonathan, Will and Dustin are team 'Rambo'._

 _Being in the woods makes it all the more interesting. Being the oldest, the 'adult one' amongst the kids, I am the team leader and once the counting was over, I motion Lucas and Mike to come over to me from the trees they used as their counting spots. We huddle up and start whispering instructions._

" _Okay, so you're the fastest out of the three of us," I say, looking at Mike. "You need to stay close to the base. When we lure them out, you need to be here."_

" _Yes, sir!" he salutes me before correcting himself. "Ma'am."_

" _You and I, we try to find them," Lucas tells me and I nod my head. "I go to the left, you go to the right."_

" _We need to have a signal," Mike cuts in, looking all pensive. "I need to know to run up to the tree. I can't be next to it, it's against the rules. We need to have a signal."_

" _How about, 'found one'?" I ask in annoyance. I was gonna yell it anyway._

" _No, it needs to be a code word," Lucas shakes his head, siding with Mike on this one. Yeah, they're definitely 12. "Pick a code word."_

" _Fine… doughnut."_

" _Doughnut?" Mike asks in disbelief. "That's your code word? Doughnut?"_

" _What the hell is wrong with 'doughnut'? Who in their right mind shouts 'doughnut' while running through the woods? If you hear 'doughnut', you'll know it's us." I tell him._

" _Fine, doughnut," Mike sighs. "Okay. 'Rocky' on three." He says as he puts his hand in the middle of the little circle we made between us. Lucas puts his hand on his._

" _No way," I shake my head. That's one step too much for me. "No way."_

"' _Rocky' on three!" Lucas orders me in a hushed voice._

" _Fine." I sigh as I put my hand over theirs._

" _One, two, three," Mike counts down. "Rocky!"_

* * *

"Guys, I'm not gonna lie, it really bugs me," I say, making all four of them, Eleven included, look at me in confusion. "Why… why did you wait so long to tell me? And you wouldn't even tell me, if I didn't nearly run you over with mom's car. You should have told me about this earlier."

"Tina, we couldn't tell anyone." Lucas defends their actions.

"No, I understand why you wouldn't trust your parents with this. It might be stupid but I get it. You could have trusted me with it. Or Jonathan. We could have helped you earlier."

"No one in their right mind would believe us," Mike speaks up. I have a feeling he's the one that urged them to be quiet. After all, Eleven has been hiding in his house, with him. She wasn't with Lucas or Dustin. "No one sane would believe our story."

"Yeah, but I'm not exactly sane, am I?" I chuckle. It's not even funny anymore. "I went to the Upside Down to try to find Will. Don't you think I would have done something to help you, to keep you safe?"

"It wasn't about trust," Lucas speaks up. "It was about danger. We didn't even know if we were right. When we saw Will's body being pulled out of the quarry…"

"You were there?!" I snap. They nod their heads, looking away from me. "Guys, I thought I made it clear that you shouldn't be running around the woods at night, especially when you actually knew about this demo-thing being out there!"

"You went to the Upside Down to find Will," Dustin speaks up. "You were willing to go there just to save him. Don't you think that we as his best friends should be able to do the same?"

"No, not when it can get you killed!" I stand my ground. I don't care if it's right on paper. In reality, it's as wrong as it gets. They see it as a rescue mission; I see it as a dangerous situation for the three of them. Well, four. I imagine Eleven hasn't left their side since they found her.

"We had El," Mike tells me. At least they sound as if they regret not telling me. Perhaps I can guilt them into being smarter next time. No. No way, no way in hell. There will be no next time. "She would have kept us safe. She's been keeping us safe."

"Yeah, at what cost?" I ask as I get up and light another cigarette. I'm down to three. I'm on edge and listening to them talk about El helping them is not calming me down. Her nose started bleeding after she levitated a walkie-talkie. What the hell would happen to her if she was to try to attack the thing Nancy and I saw in the Upside Down? The boys were putting her at risk and I don't even think they realize it. And rubbing it into their faces, especially when she can hear it, doesn't seem like a good plan.

If we were outside, I would have gone for a walk to clear my head. Unfortunately for me, we have to keep a low profile and I had to settle for pacing around the bus, ignoring the four set of eyes that followed my every move. Eventually, I settled for leaning over a half open window, flicking the ash off my cigarette every now and then, enjoying the moment of silence.

They knew I need silence right now.

And they need protection. I don't think they even realize what kind of trouble they are in and how that could cause a massive domino effect to everyone we've ever met. They were right about the Upside Down. If they are right about the government and the 'bad people' trying to cover this shit up, there's a strong option I'm not going to make it out of here alive. Even with two guns, even with a quiet little girl that has telekinetic powers. Odds aren't in my favor and that means they aren't in their favor either.

If this reaches as far as I'm afraid it does, I really may not make it out alive. Monster or bad people… I'm in trouble. We're all in trouble. But I'll be damned if I let anyone hurt those kids.

"It doesn't matter now," I finally speak up as I flick my cigarette through the window. "I'm here now and I'll keep you safe. Even if I should have started doing that a while ago."


	21. Renegade - Part 2

**Here we go! We are soooo close to 200 follows and I'M SO EXCITED! AND I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT! I'M ABOUT TO LOSE CONTROL AND I think I'm going to stop now :D**

 **Here we go, playlist and yes, I'm breaking the rules now with the decades:  
1)Styx – Renegade  
2)Florence and the Machine – Dog Days Are Over  
3) ACDC – Back in black (RIP Malcom :( )  
**

 **Thank you so much, I'm feeling the love for this story!  
Please don't stop. Pretty please? I'm kind of addicted at this point :D**

 **But you know the drill, if you like it. Let me know what you think and enjoy the chapter! :)**

* * *

Being aware of the danger we are in is a double edge sword. It's really good that I know it because I need to be ready, for whatever comes. I need to be ready to try and keep myself and the kids safe. I need to be mentally prepared to pull the trigger if it comes to that and I'm not sure if I would be able to do it without the mental preparation I'm trying to do now.

The bad side is that I am genuinely afraid of what could happen. I am nauseous at the thought of the worst case scenario. What makes it even worse, I'm starting to regret things I did or didn't do, as if I am on my own death bed. That can't be a good state of mind, can it?

My first thought is of my mom. I think of how she'll have no idea what the hell had happened and how someone will just deliver her my body in a black bag. I see her reacting like Joyce and I remember her words about denial. And I'm worried that if that's my future… she won't accept it. The end of my life could ruin her life and that scares the shit out of me. I would love to be an optimist but I saw that thing in the Upside Down and I heard what the kids told me about the 'bad men'. I'm in big trouble and unfortunately, ending up in a black bag with a zipper isn't that far from reality.

I think about Steve. I think about how I love that idiot, even though he really is the biggest idiot on the planet who has made several really questionable choices over the last couple of days. But haven't we all? If I don't walk away from this alive, not talking things through with him will probably end up being my biggest regret. He has done so many shitty things in such a short period of time but he's my brother. And once upon a time, he used to be my friend too. He's still that person but the problem is that he's covered with layers of self-assurance, popularity and vanity. Still, he has to be in there somewhere.

Good god, Jonathan. We had, what, 6 days of normality? 6 days. That's all we had, in-between our ridiculous fight and tension on one side and shit hitting the fan on the other. He's the third person I think of on my imaginary death bad and I only had 6 days in total, 6 days of happiness.

We deserved more. We might not be meant for each other but we sure as hell could have shared some good times. Whether it would be for life, for a couple of months or until we went our separate ways at the end of high school, it could have been fun. It could have been so much fun and real and it genuinely hurts me, I feel pain in my chest at the thought of possibly not being able to have it.

Even the bad times were good. Hell, I would have changed this current situation for the opportunity to be hurt and angry, getting drunk in my room while I cry to Janis Joplin. I would welcome that if that means we'd have a chance to work it out, that we'd have a chance to have more than 6 days.

I wish I had realized it earlier. It was right there, in front of me. I was falling for that boy long before he had kissed me. And if I had realized that on time, we could have had more than just 6 days.

* * *

 _Hide and seek is not as easy as I thought it was, back when I was a kid. It used to be so much fun but I didn't pay attention. My attention span in those days was like… 2 seconds, and I forget what I was thinking about or looking for. Now, I notice things and now I know that hide and seek isn't exactly a picnic, especially not if you decide to play it in the woods._

 _For one, you need to walk. Proper hiking, that's what you have to do. Despite the boys treating this like a top secret and skilled operation, we didn't consider setting boundaries. There are miles of woods I could end up searching and that means a whole lot of walking's in store for me._

 _The other thing is that you actually need to be quiet. As much as I need to find them, I need to avoid them seeing or hearing me as I approach them. If they see me, they can run in the opposite direction and they can catch Mike by surprise and actually win this whole thing. Losers buy ice cream._

 _There's only one thing working in my favor right now and that's that I actually heard them earlier, when I was done with counting. They all threw comments my way, meaning that they could actually hear me being reluctant to follow the 'hide and seek' rules. They can't be far from here but I turn around and I don't see Mike. I can't see Lucas because he went in a different direction but I should be able to see Mike. I've moved away too far from the base and I don't see Will, Jonathan, or Dustin._

 _Will and Dustin, I get that. They're like little human Smurfs who do this on a daily basis; they are skilled at hiding. If they don't want me to find them, I won't find them. Lucas has better luck, being skilled in tracking them. I am looking for Jonathan more than I'm looking for the kids. He sucks at hide and seek, he was probably even bad at this when he was a kid. With his height and limbs, he's like an octopus compared to the kids. Will and Dustin could hide in a mouse hole if they are determined enough. The best Jonathan can do is to hide behind a tree and hope he's blending in._

 _I scream as someone pulls me by the hand but the scream is muffled with a hand over my mouth. Jonathan pushes me into the tree, giving me a warning look as he covers my mouth with his hand. I almost had a fucking heart attack! He gives me a warning look as he slowly moves his hand away._

" _What the hell are you doing?" I ask in a whisper. "You're supposed to hide from me, not abduct me."_

 _He's still pressing me up the tree with his forearm, just under my neck. Even now, he's careful not to hurt me. It's actually kind of amusing how he can be such a nice guy, even when he's kidnaping me. I would laugh in his face, if he wasn't as close to me as he is now. If I'd laugh, I'd literally be laughing in his face._

 _Huh. I never really noticed how his eyes actually have a bit of green in them, they're more… hazel. I always thought they were completely brown, just like mine._

" _Why are you whispering?" he asks, whispering himself._

" _Shit, you're right," it takes me a moment to realize that even though he's the one holding me hostage, I've actually found him. "DOUGHNUT! DOUGHNUT!" I yell from the top of my lungs._

" _Are you crazy?" Jonathan asks me, obviously unsure whether to laugh or to be angry with me._

" _WHO DID YOU FIND?!" I hear Mike yelling but before I can react, Jonathan puts his hand over my mouth again. I contemplate actually biting him, but I'm not competitive enough to turn all animal on him._

" _I take this very seriously, Christina." He laughs. Christina? Laughing in my face? He's done._

 _He might be pressing me to the tree but my hands are completely free. I don't know if he's ticklish or not but it's worth the try. I tickle him and as soon as he flinches, I bite his hand. He lets go of me, shocked._

" _I GOT JONATHAN!" I yell as I start running like crazy. I don't run, not even if you pay me. Now, I'm running as if I'm running for dear life, jumping over branches as I try to escape Jonathan. I don't need to turn around to know that he's closing in on me, his legs are… twice as long as mine. "You'll never get me alive! Shit!" I yell when I nearly trip on a branch. Yeah, he's going to get me. It's a matter of seconds._

 _And just like that, he grabs me around the waist and we lose balance; I fall to the ground, and he almost ends up on top of me. He jumps away at once, but his hand over my waist keeps me to the ground._

" _It's over, buddy," I laugh. "Mike's in the base. You're out." I laugh._

" _It's not over if I get there first!" I look around in surprise when I hear Dustin's voice. Before I can shout a warning to Mike, I hear Dustin breaking into a run and Jonathan covers my mouth once again._

" _We knew you'd find me first," he explains. "I'm the weakest link of the team. You'd be busy with me while Will and Dustin kick your team's ass. I'm a scape goat." He adds with a shrug._

 _Son of a bitch, they're good. I could not see this coming, not in a million years._

 _But I'm not going down without a fight. And just like that, I bite Jonathan again._

" _DUSTIN IS RUNNING TO THE BASE!" I shout, hoping that'll be enough for Mike. Jonathan's in shock, yet again. "Never fall for the same trick twice, buddy. I told you. You'll never get me alive." I announce as I jump from the ground and start running again, with the speed I didn't even know I had in me._

* * *

"T?" I jump up in surprise when I feel a hand on my shoulder; I turn around and see Dustin. I don't think I've ever seen Dustin looking worried but today's a day of firsts, isn't it. "You okay?" he asks.

I can't tell them that I'm worried sick. I can't tell them that I'm scared either. I might not have super powers but I'm the one who needs to be the protector here. If your protector is shitting their pants, you'd know the situation is bad. I'm not in a position to tell them the truth but it's also a bit too late for me to cover up and smile like all is well. I need to find the middle ground here.

"No, not really," I admit with a force smiled. "But I'll be good. I'm just… lost in my thoughts a bit."

"Do you want a candy bar?" he asks, offering me a 'Milky Way'.

"Thanks buddy," I shake my head and smile. "You eat it." I tell him. At this rate, if we stay stuck here, they need food. I'll need it too but they come first. But even if Dustin packed Milky Ways for all of them, that isn't gonna last long. We can't stay here forever, we have to move but how can I tell them to move, how can I take them out of here if I don't know it's safe? I don't know what's safer, to stay here and wait or to go. Whatever I decide, I might be making a mistake. I don't know what's right or wrong anymore.

"Tina, what's wrong?" Mike asks; he's frowning at me. They're picking up on my mood.

"Well, the whole general picture of hiding her from government officials, with a gun while Jonathan and Nancy are trying to figure out how to get Will and Barb from the Upside Down. All of it's a bit wrong but mostly I just… I wish Jonathan was here." I admit and go back to sulking at once.

"You are _really_ in love with him, aren't you?" Mike asks, grinning up at me.

Is that it? I think I'd be able to tell the difference. Then again, being in love isn't the same as loving someone, is it? They are all different stages. It's starts with liking someone, with having a crush on them and there's like a hundred different steps before you actually get to love. I know that the lines are a little bit blurred, given that I got to know Jonathan quite well before we actually became a thing but I'm not sure if I'm on the 'being in love' step. I fell for him, that's for sure. I have a major crush on him and the butterflies in my go crazy when I remember that he's my boyfriend. I guess I could say that I am currently in the midst of 'falling in love' but 'being in love' would be a bit of a stretch, wouldn't it? We haven't even been together for two weeks.

I wasn't planning on ignoring Mike's question, no matter how straightforward it was, but I notice Eleven looking my way. She's looking at my jeans in confusion.

"You like them?" I ask and it takes her a second to realize that I'm actually talking to her; she nods her head and the tiniest of smiles appears on them. "Jeans are super cool. Very comfy. I guess the boys didn't give you a chance to try some on, have they?" I ask.

"Just the dress and sweatpants." Lucas fills me in.

"Well, the dress is pretty," I shrug. I don't mention the fact that it's so dirty at this point, it doesn't even look like it's pink. "It looks cool on you. But maybe once all of this is over, I can take you on a shopping spree and we can find some jeans for you? Huh? Sound like a plan?"

"What is a shopping spree?" she asks with a frown.

"Well, it's when you spend a lot of time shopping," I explain as I scoot a bit closer to her. "You go to a mall, which is a super big building with a lot of stores. And then, you look around, trying to find something that you like and that you would like to wear. You find it and then you try it on, because you want the clothes to fit you, not to be too big or too tight. Once you find something you like and that fits you well, you buy it. And then you go to 20 other stores and do the same thing."

"It's very boring." Lucas chimes in.

"Meh, it can be boring," I admit. "But sometimes it can be fun. I'll make it fun. We can go around and try out ugly stuff and laugh all day." I smile at the girl. Ugh, I don't blame her for that eager look on her face; she's been stuck with Mike, Dustin and Lucas for the last couple of days. She needs some girl time.

"Shop for a dress?" she asks me.

"Sure," I shrug. "Dress, jeans, whatever you want. And then, you can look cool too."

"Cool." She repeats. I think she likes the word a bit too much.

"And pretty," I add. "You already look super cool with that hairstyle. I might do it too," I shrug. I don't think I'd be able to part emotionally from my long hair I've been sporting since I was like four. But why not go crazy a little bit? Jonathan might be in for a shock but who cares? "Oh, I'm going to have so much fun coaching you, little one," I throw my arm around her shoulders and I am genuinely surprised when she doesn't move away. "Have you guys played some music to her?" I ask them.

"No, not yet," Mike shakes his head. "We were a little busy looking for Will." He tells me in an annoyed voice, as if that is something obvious. Well, it is but still, the kids acting way too territorial. Oh. Oh!

"Well, I'm going to teach you all about music, little one," I promise the girl, before looking at Mike. "That is, unless, Mike objects. Would you like to have the honor? I wouldn't want to step on your turf."

And just like that, Mike's face changes 10 different shades, ranging from light pink to near red. He looks like one of those color catalogues in a paint store. The kid has a major crush. And judging by the looks of his two friends, Dustin and Lucas know it as well. In fact, the only person here that could be oblivious about it is Eleven. Yeah, I still have it in me. I can read people like open books. At least kids. Kids who aren't that good at hiding their emotions. Okay, maybe I'm an average people reader.

"You know what El? Maybe Mike can tell you-"

A loud noise makes us all jump up in surprise. A helicopter.

"Down! Get down, all of you!" I shout. The floor is as dirty as it can get but there's not much of a choice here. "Don't move!" I order them and for once, all of them listen to me without complaining, without asking questions or offering comments. "Jesus Christ, do they really need helicopters for this?" I mumble. This is even bigger than I thought, if they have helicopters looking for them. Well, for us; I'm stuck in this mess for good, even if they might not know that they're looking for me too. And it's all connected to Eleven. It has nothing to do with the monster; they're looking for her, not for it. I get that she has… super powers but helicopters? Really? "El, what the heck can you do when they're looking for us like this?" I look at her at where she's lying on the floor, frozen.

"She did flip a van earlier." Dustin blurts out.

"Flip a van?!" I ask in surprise. I understand that she's very strong and can communicate with Will over electricity and all that jazz but this is the first time I'm hearing anything about van flipping.

"She was ready to take care of you, but she stopped when I told her you were our friend," Mike mumbles; I can't see him from behind the seat but I imagine he has a smug look on his face. And I remember him yelling "no" when I stepped out of the car. At the time, I thought he was telling it to me, afraid of my reaction. Boy, was I wrong about that one. "I told you she can keep us safe."

I look over at El, who offers me a small smile. Yeah, now I get it. Now I understand why they have helicopters on the lookout. I thought they were searching for them because she's a kid with super powers that they were testing and because they know about the Upside Down. Now I realize that they can use El as a weapon. For all we know, she could be a weapon for mass destruction.

But she's also a little girl. She's not a bomb, she's a kid. And all of this is beyond wrong.

I think I just stumbled into a horror version of X-men and I'm the only one human amongst mutants.

* * *

Based on how well I know myself, it's safe to say that we have… about an hour before I go into panic mode. It's an educated guess and given the situation we are in, I'd say I'm doing pretty well so far. Someone slightly saner would have probably lost their mind an hour or two ago.

We have been on the bus for four hours. And I have no clue what's going on. For all I know, Jonathan and Nancy are monster hunting as I'm stuck in here. Fuck, they might even be worried about me. I did say I'll be back soon, didn't I? Well, soon was about four hours ago.

"Please tell me that you guys at least had breakfast."

Thankfully, all of them nod.

"El, if you can flip vans can't you like… conjure up some food for us?" I ask. The girl shakes her head slowly. "Okay. Well, if I don't want you guys to starve to death, we're going to have to get on the move soon."

"We can wait longer," Mike announces and all of them follow his lead, nodding. "Besides, where would we go? The bad guys were at my place and they probably know where Dustin and Lucas live too."

"Yeah, but they don't know where I live," I remind him. "My parents our out of town so even if they know, they'd be knocking on a closed door. We can go there. I can make you sandwiches and you can stay there, hidden." I tell them. Originally, my plan was to take them to wherever Jonathan is but the problem is, I have no idea where Jonathan is, nor do I have a way of finding out. I thought that maybe we should go to Joyce but the last think that woman needs right now is for me to show up on her front door with four kids and involve her in this whole government mess.

"But how the hell are we gonna get to your place if there's a helicopter flying above us?"

"Lucas, I'm trying to figure that one out, okay?" I snap in annoyance. I can't take it out on them, even if they are the ones who dragged me into this mess to begin with. How ironic is it that I was actually annoyed that they did not drag me into this mess earlier?

"The best thing we can do right now is to stay put," Mike pitches his idea. As the leader of their marry group, he's the one who makes the calls apparently. And if I don't agree with him, I'm going to have a mutiny on my hands. "Maybe we can wait for the dark before we get out. Maybe."

"Mike, we're not going to fight on this. Not here, not now," I warn him. "I'm the adult here. I'm the one with the gun and I'm the one who actually is worried about our safety. If I say we stay put, we stay put. If I say we leave, we leave. I'm keeping you guys safe, end of story."

Mike opens his mouth, probably ready to fight me, but a static noise makes us all jump up.

"Mike? Are you there? Mike?" we all exchange looks as Mike grabs his walkie-talkie from the ground. "Mike, it's me, Nancy. Pick up." This time around, I recognize Nancy's voice and I jump.

"Mike, give me that!"

"No!"

"Mike!" I yell.

"Tina, stop it!" Dustin snaps at me.

"Mike, we need you to answer!" Nancy's voice carries. "This is an emergency, Mike! Do you copy?"

"Mike, give me that thing _right now_!" I growl.

"She said it was an emergency!" Lucas backs me up.

"What if it's a trick?" Mike asks.

"It's your sister!" Lucas rolls his eyes.

"Mike, I told you, she knows," I try to calm down and reason with the kid. I am one step away from jumping on him and snatching that thing away but I'm pretty sure El would jump to his defense. "She's on our side Mike, she knows about the demo-thingy. She knows." I reassure him.

"What if the bad people kidnapped her?" Mike asks. "What if they're forcing her to say this?"

"It's like Lando Calrissian," Dustin mumbles. "Don't answer!"

"Oh, Lando Calrissian my ass!" I roll my eyes. "Mike, give me that thing, right now!"

"Listen kid, this is the chief, if you're there, pick up," a male voice speaks up through the walkie-talkie and this time around, I don't jump at the opportunity to snatch the thing out Mike's hands. "We know you're in trouble and we know about the girl."

"Why is she with the chief?" Lucas wonders.

"I told you, we were at the police station," I remind them. "But how the hell does he know about…"

"We can protect you, we can help you, but you gotta pick up. Are you there? Do you copy? Over!"

Now I'm lost. Nancy, I know I could trust. But the chief? What if Mike's right, what if it is a trick? What if they found Nancy and what if they are somehow making her… work with them? What if the chief is not on our side, but on their side? If it was… if it was Jonathan, I would not have any second thoughts. He would never lie, he would never help them, not if that can put me and the kids in danger. But they don't know I'm here, do they? The chief talked about El, not about me. They have no idea I'm here with them.

"What do we do?" Mike asks and to my complete surprise, he looks at me. I had a feeling we were gonna keep butting heads but he's actually willing to listen to me, to follow me. The only problem is, I don't know what to do. I don't know the chief. I do know Nancy but do I know her enough?

She doesn't know about El. I've been with her for the last few days, not once did she mention anything about a girl that's been hiding away in her house. We didn't know. But I found out the hard way and I guess she did too. And none of that explains how chief knows any of this.

"T, what do we do?!" Dustin demands. I need to think fast. It's 50:50. It can go both ways.

"Answer it," I tell him but he gives me the walkie-talkie. Seconds ago, I was ready to fight him for it and now I don't even want to take it. But I have to. He clicks the button for me and I roll my eyes; as if I don't know how to use a freaking walkie-talkie!" Yeah, I copy." I answer. Nothing. Silence. Absolutely nothing.

"Tina?!" I jump up in surprise when I hear Jonathan's voice. We're good. We're good, they're the good guys. It didn't go the wrong way. "What the hell are you-"

"No time," I interrupt him. "It's Tina. I copy."

"Is Mike with you?" Nancy asks.

"Yeah," I tell her. "We're all here. We're listening."

* * *

If they are working with the bad guys, we are in big trouble. Now, I know Jonathan wouldn't put me into danger if he had any control of it, but what if they don't know they are the bad guys? Sure, the chief said all the right things; he said all that we wanted to hear but what if that's exactly what he was doing? What if he tricked us? I know it makes no sense but Dustin is paranoid and he's been pacing for the last 20 minutes and it's starting to rub off on me.

I always second guess myself. No matter what I do, I always spend hours, days, weeks even, wondering if my decision was the right one, wondering if I made a horrible mistake or if I did what needed to be done. On and on it goes and no matter what I do, I end up banging my head on the wall.

Will I buy a blue t-shirt or will I get the black one? Will I play Pat Benatar or Michael Jackson? Will I drink one cup of coffee or is today a day for two? Those are the things I'm allowed to make mistakes on. Those decisions don't mean shit. Whether or not the chief will help us or get us all killed? That's big.

"Dustin, if you don't stop pacing, I swear to god," I sigh. He is only making it worse and it wasn't good to begin with. At least Mike, Lucas and Eleven can sit still. "Dustin!" I snap.

"Will you stop pacing?!" Mike snaps at him.

"It's been way too long," Dustin comments as he keeps up with the pacing. "You know what? Maybe you're right. Maybe this is all a trap and the bad men are coming to get us right now!" he yells. He is minutes away from throwing a fit. I don't know how to handle a kid that is throwing a fit, that's way beyond my capability.

"It's not a trap!" Lucas rolls his eyes at him. "Why would the chief set us up? Nancy, maybe, but the chief?"

"Nancy would not set us up," I tell them for the hundredth time. "I told you that she knows about the Upside Down! She's on our side! They're not setting us up!"

"Lando Calrissian." Dustin announces.

"Will you shut up about Lando?!" Lucas speaks up before I have a chance.

"I don't feel good about this," Dustin shakes his head, adamant to stick to panic, no matter what we say. "I don't feel good about this!" he yells in Lucas's face.

"When do you feel good about anything!?"

"Shut up!" I finally lose my patience. "Sit down and shut up before I leave all four of you here!" I yell. I would never do that but they don't have to know it and at this point, I'll say anything that will get them to shut up. "And stop pacing!" I growl at Dustin, who finally realizes that he took it one step too far; my anger simmers down as he finally stops pacing and sits on the ground. For a moment, one single moment, everything is calm. Then we hear a car. "Stay down!" I order them in a hushed voice as I go to the front of the bus, hunching down to avoid being seen. It's not a cop car. But maybe the chief… yeah, there's another car. "Stay down and shut up!" I hiss at the four of them as I get down myself; I crawl over to them and hide behind one of the seats. They are all behind me; I'm the first one in the line of fire. Despite shaking like a leaf, I grab a gun.

"Lando." Dustin comments. He just can't keep his mouth shut, can he?

"Do you think they saw us?" Mike asks.

"What part of 'stay down and shut up' missed you?" I ask. This time, it actually works. This time, they actually listen to me. No more Star Wars references, no more complaining and thank god, no more pacing. Unfortunately, I might have a bigger problem on my hands.

I'll have to shoot. I'll have to fucking shoot.

I can't… I can't just shoot randomly. I need to wait, I need to know. They think they're looking for four kids. They won't be expecting a gun but I need to be ready.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths, Tina.

I hear the creak of the door and I peek from behind the seat, waiting for someone to step inside.

They don't. Instead, I hear a scuffle. I look at Lucas first and then at Mike, checking if they're hearing what I'm hearing. Okay, that has to be a punch. And that's a gunshot. And a few more grunts.

My finger is on the trigger but I don't pull it. I have to wait, I have to wait for the right time. As I recognize who is standing before me, I thank my lucky stars. I was seconds away from shooting the chief of police.

I can imagine what this looks like to a bystander. First, me, crouching behind a seat with a gun in my hand. Then four kids, one of which has a giant walkie-talkie, one has a military bandana tied around his head, the third one looks like he's going to start hyperventilating in a second and the fourth one is a girl in a dirty pink dress with a shaved head. I don't think the chief ever had to deal with something like this.

"All right, let's go," he tells us. We don't move. None of us move. I'm still trying to process the fact that he had kicked the shit out of them, maybe even killed them. There were two cars. Two freaking cars. "Let's go!" he yells and this time around, we're out of the bus in the speed of light.

I make a point of not looking at the bodies; I don't need to know if they're dead or unconscious. I wait for all the kids to get in the car before I jump in the passenger seat. The chief doesn't even wait for me to buckle up; he starts driving at once.

"Shit!"

"What?" the chief asks me, looking around, alerted.

"My car," I explain. I forgot about mom's fucking car, _again_. Based on the last couple of days, I really don't need or deserve a car of my own. "Their bikes are inside. I could follow you-"

"No," the chief shuts me down. "You can come and get it tomorrow, once all this mess is over."

"Yeah, are you going to explain that to my mom?" I ask; they should be returning tomorrow but with all that's been going on, I wouldn't be surprised if I screwed up the count and fi they are already here. Probably not; I'm sure the chief would mention something about my parents thinking I'm missing.

"I'd be more worried about explaining that gun to her," the chief snaps at me. Ah crap. "Where the hell did you get that thing?"

"It's my dad's."

"And what exactly were you planning to do with it?" I really should have seen this lecture coming.

"What do you think?"

He glances at me before focusing on the road again. I guess the lecture is over.

* * *

 **1)Styx – Renegade**

 **2)Florence and the Machine – Dog Days Are Over (flashback)**

 **3) ACDC – Back in black (Driving with Hopper :D )**


	22. Hazy Shade of Winter

**Wow, I ALMOST didn't finish this one in time for today but would you look at that, I did! :D There isn't any music in the chapter so the only song for today is the one from the title, so**

 **The Bangles - Hazy Shade Of Winter (1987 BUT they have been performing it since 1983 so ¯\\_(** **ツ** **)_/¯ (there's the shrug emoji, I hope it works :D )**

 **Again, so close to 200! I'm breaking out the champagne when we pass the mark! (I'm not even joking, will include pictures if you want me to :D) okay, maybe wine, I don't want to open a bottle of champagne all alone.**

 **As always, I hope you enjoy the chapter. I hope I'll have one ready for tomorrow, I am starting it now. Thank you for your amazing reviews, especially those I couldn't answer. Keep 'em coming, you know I love them! So enjoy the chapter and let me know what you think! Much love! :)**

* * *

By the time chief parks the car in front of Jonathan's house, it's already dark outside. We were stuck in that bus for a very long time and only now when we're seemingly safe, I get a chance to realize just how scared I actually was. And it all multiplies by ten when I see Joyce, Nancy and Jonathan run out of the house when they hear us coming.

The moment I see him, everything else becomes completely irrelevant. It's like the entire world is a narrow tunnel and the only thing I see at the end is him. I jump out of the car. I don't wait for anyone, I just jump out and I start running to him. He starts running towards me and by the time we hit each other, it actually kind of hurts. The pain is just as irrelevant as everything else.

Of course I was worried about Joyce. Of course I am glad to see Nancy but right now… it's just Jonathan.

I don't hear the conversations around me, I don't pay attention to other reunions. It takes me a moment just to find the strength to pull away from him. We've been apart for… just a couple of hours. "For a moment there, I actually thought I wasn't going to see you again." I admit in a nervous chuckle.

Joyce knows about us. Joyce knew about us before we knew about us. They all know, it's not a secret, it never was. Yet we were always careful. Now? I don't care who's going to see us kiss. His mother, his entire family, my entire family. The president, aliens, monsters, I don't care. I don't care who's watching. Much to my surprise, neither does Jonathan. Instead of moving away, he just pulls me closer.

"You two do realize that our work isn't halfway done, right?"

And just like that, with Dustin's annoyance, my little bubble of happiness explodes. I wish I could be angry at the kid but he has a point. They all march into the house but when I try to do the same, Jonathan pulls me by the hand and we stay behind.

"You really need to hear what they have to say." I tell him.

"And I will," he nods. "I just… how the hell did you end up with them?" he asks. Isn't that the question!

"I nearly killed them," I admit and the look on Jonathan's face serves as proof that I shouldn't be retelling the story from that starting point. "Look, it's a very long story and I'm just… drained. And I have a pretty bad idea that this night is far from over so let's just leave it for some other time. I found them, I was with them and now I'm here. You really need to hear what they have to say." I tell him, trying to be as kind as possible. It has nothing to do with him. I'm just worried that this is far from over and I don't want to waste time on storytelling when that can literally wait for a moment of peace.

"Can the girl… does she really have powers?" Jonathan asks me. He looks apprehensive, as if that's the craziest thing he ever heard of and he's just supposed to believe in it.

"Yeah," I confirm and I give him a moment to process it. "And that's not even the craziest thing you're going to hear tonight, I promise you that. Let's go."

* * *

I listened to the same story the boys told me when we turned that old bus into basecamp. The Upside Down, the Demogorgon, the other dimensions, the gate and the magnetic field. I sat and watched as Joyce, Nancy, Jonathan and the chief struggled to accept all of it. It's amusing, really. Joyce and Nancy had both seen the monster with their own eyes and Jonathan believed in it when we had much less to go on. The chief… I don't even know what the hell his deal is and how he is involved but apparently, he believes Joyce when she tells him that Will isn't dead.

I kept my eyes on the girl, who already had one to many pair of eyes on her. I can tell that she feels out of place but she knows she's our best shot. I'm not sure she's quite used to all of this, to so many people being around her and relying on her as heavily as we do. I don't know how the hell it's possible for a 16 year old to have motherly instinct but what else could it be?

Sisterly. Sisterly instinct, that's what it is. That one is much more believable.

"Does she need anything else?" I ask as we gather round the kitchen table, with the spotlight shining bright on El, who fidgets in her chair.

"Just the radio," Mike reassures me. "And a little bit of space." He adds and right on cue, we all move away just a little bit. I can literally see Joyce shaking and I squeeze her shoulder. This must feel like a second round of the same old crap to her. Actually, it's probably worse now, seeing as we know where he is and we know how to get him but we don't have a specific location. That's why we need El. If we're going to go in the Upside Down to get him, we need to know where he is. And time's running out.

There's tension everywhere, all of us are on edge. The static coming from the radio is not helping anyone relax and my heart jumps when the lights flicker; only this time, they don't flicker for too long. After what seems like ages, Eleven opens her eyes. "I'm sorry." She whispers.

"Wha-what's wrong? What happened?"

"I can't find them." She admits. The atmosphere went from tense to hopeless in a second. Joyce starts shaking again but this time, Jonathan needs to be the one to help her up. I walk over to El, who is tearing up and no one other than the kids seems to be focused on her anymore.

"Come on," I offer her a small smile. "Let's get you cleaned up for a sec, okay?"

She needs to be away from them and they need to be away from her, if only for a little while. We are all desperate to know where Will and Barb are but if we pressure her, I don't think we'll be doing her any good. If anything, she's going to buckle under such pressure. We won't achieve anything, we won't find out where they are and she will probably feel horrible because of it.

I guide her through the house and to the bathroom; I turn the light on and I close the door behind us. She just stands there, waiting for me. Again, I smile at her and I guide her to the sink. "When I cry, I find that cold water helps. You can wash your face if you want to." I tell her and she nods her head. Tears roll down her cheeks before she splashes her face a little bit, before looking at me, as if she is checking if she's doing it right. "Yeah, like that. That way, you won't look puffy."

"Puffy?" she asks in confusion as I sit down on the edge of the bathtub.

"All puffy and red from crying," I explain and she nods her head in understanding. "El, you know I'm one of the good guys, right? You know I'm a friend?" I ask and she slowly nods her head again. "Do you trust me?" I ask her. I might be pushing it, the girl just met me hours ago. But we are all that she has at this point and I think she knows it. She's not… she might not have the basic understanding of how the world functions, what things do and what certain words mean but she's not stupid. She saw that the boys trust me and she trusts them, especially Mike. He's her… protector, I guess, even if she's the one with the super powers. Her protector trusts me and I suppose that should make me good enough in her book.

"I trust you." she tells me in a low voice.

"Good. Because I trust you and so do they," I point at the door. "I know… I know we are asking for a lot over here. They know it too. We wouldn't be asking if we had a different option. But honey, you can only do so much," I sigh as I take a hold of her hands; I think it's a good sign that she didn't flinch. "If you can't do it, you can't do it. You can't push yourself too hard, El. We want to find Will and Barb, of course we do. But we don't want anything to happen to you either."

"Why?"

Wow. That is a good question. A deep one too and one that I was not expecting.

"Because… because you are a friend. You are friends with Mike, Dustin and Lucas. You are my friend now too. Friends keep each other safe. We are all friends and family here, honey. Friends and family are probably the most important people in your life. With them, you don't ask questions, you don't stop to think twice. You keep them safe and you love them, no matter the crap they do."

I hate sisterly love. I hate it with a passion because Steve should be the last thing on my mind right now and yet he's not. I need to work things out with him but I have bigger fish to fry at the moment.

"Crap?" she asks. Well… crap.

"Yeah. Stupid things. But that's a bad word, you don't want to use it," I am just making her more confused by the second. "My point is… if the bad people want you, they're gonna have to go over us first. We'll keep you safe. I promise."

"Promise." she smiles at me. I can't hold back the hair ruffle, even if there's no actual hair on her head to ruffle. I used to do it all the time with Will and now… god, we need to find that boy.

"Yup. Just take it one step at a time, okay?" I ask and once again, she nods her head. I wasn't ready for her to hug me, I wasn't expecting it. But she does. For someone who used to say they really don't like kids I sure am singing a different song right now. I still don't like most kids, though. Most kids suck, but not these guys. And Eleven, with her… I don't know, unconditional trust, lack of doubt? She just managed to melt away my frozen heart.

Will I ever be as cynical as I was before Will got lost?

"Now, let's wipe away those tears," I pull away and do exactly what I just said. "There we go. Happy?"

But she's not looking at me at all. She's staring right behind me. I turn around, half expecting the Demogorgon to be right behind me but I see nothing. "El? You okay?"

"I think I know." she tells me.

"Know what, honey?"

"How to find them."

* * *

"Do you know anything about sensory deprivation tanks?" Dustin turns around and narrows his eyes at me. Oh, he's asking me! Is he stupid?!

"Really? Really?!"

"Well, you were a nerd once upon a time."

"Dustin, buddy, there's a difference between a science nerd and a weirdo. I was a weirdo. Still am." I tell him. I mean yeah, sure, I got A's in science but I have A's in almost everything. Just because I know stuff doesn't mean I'm actually interested in them. A highly skilled monkey could get straight A's. And as Dustin is probably well aware of, sensory deprivation tanks were never on Mr. Clarke's tests.

"Is this really the conversation we should be having right now?" the chief asks in annoyance.

"Why? Do you know anything about sensory deprivation?" Dustin asks. "Didn't think so." He responds in a heartbeat. I look away, genuinely afraid of what could happen to me if I laugh out loud. I don't think Dustin even realizes just how much he burned the chief but I'm pretty sure Hopper is well aware of it.

"Okay, focus," Lucas speaks up. "We don't know it. We need someone who knows it."

"Mrs. Byers, can I use your phone?" Dustin asks. Joyce nods and I hold back a comment; really? He asks if he can use her phone? We're hunting an… interdimensional monster and he asks if he can use her phone? I thought we were past the pleasantries.

I move away from the crowd as Dustin starts talking to Mr. Clarke. I'm not going to be able to hear the conversation anyways, so I might as well take some time to gather my thoughts. I walk out on the porch of their house and I light a cigarette.

It feels like it's been days, not just hours. It feels as if we were at the police station a week ago, not just this morning. So much has happened… I don't think I can fully register everything at this point.

My heart skips a beat when I hear footsteps but I can come up with the tiniest of smiles when I see that it's Jonathan. I don't protest when he puts his arms around me. In fact, I lean on him. I am so fucking tired, it's not even funny. I didn't even realize it, seeing as I just didn't stop to catch a breath for hours.

"How's your back?"

"What?"

"The scratches." He elaborates and it actually takes me a moment to realize what he's talking about.

"Oh," I sigh, remembering. "Yeah, I'm not in pain or anything like that. What about your hand?" I ask and before he can actually answer, I take a hold of his right hand and look at the knuckles; they were red and scratched, serving as a proof of the brawl that feels like it happened in a different lifetime. "I almost forgot why I wanted Steve dead but now I remember."

"I just want all of this to be over," he admits and it's no longer clear who's holding who. We are both falling apart in our different ways and it just… it doesn't feel nice. It feels horrible and wrong and to hear him say something like that, I can't help but mirror those words, feel those feelings. That's all I want. All I want is for things to go back to normal but after everything that has happen and all the things that are yet to happen, will that even be possible. "I just want to find Will and I want this to be over. We should be listening to music and making out in the backseat, not fighting monsters and trying to rescue my brother from a different dimension. It's just wrong!"

"Babe, I know," I sigh and I notice a tiny frown on his face. "See?! I told you it was weird!"

"Okay, I get it now," he laughs. "Maybe we're not there yet."

"Yeah, but are we away from it though?" I ask and I feel his shoulders shrug. "We've been together for like… ten days and I'm pretty sure we've experienced more than my parents did in their 20 year marriage. They never had to fight a Demogorgon."

"Maybe they did but they never told you?" Jonathan suggests and laughs when I punch him on the shoulders. It was a gentle punch; he already got beaten by one Harrington today. "We should get back and see if Dustin has come up with a plan. Wow. We're relying on a 12-year-old."

"A bunch of 12-year-olds," I correct him. Sure, Dustin might be the one who knows what we should do but Mike and Lucas are helping too; and I don't even want to start on Eleven. "Who probably would have helped us a lot sooner if we knew that they knew what they knew." I tell him as we walk back into the house. We don't even get into the kitchen before Joyce stops us.

"Jonathan, Tina, I need you to go in the shed and look for the kiddie pool." She tells us.

"Okay?" Jonathan mumbles. At this point, are we even allowed to be confused by anything anymore.

"We need to go to school," the chief announces. "That's the only place where we can find 1500 pounds of salt."

"Can we actually do that?" I ask; I don't want to be causing any more trouble around town.

"What, we could get arrested?" he retorts. Okay, 1:0 for the chief.

"Tina, Jonathan. Kiddie pool. Now."

Joyce was never this bossy before but then again, we never had a mission like this. I follow Jonathan out of the house and into the shed, where we start looking for a pool that I don't even know what it looks like. The shed is a complete mess, with everything from tools to an actual shotgun lying around.

"You know, once all of this is over, maybe we can have a spring cleaning?" I comment. I never really thought a day would come when I'd be the one to initiate a cleaning campaign of any kind.

"You think we'll make it until spring?" Jonathan laughs as he goes through some boxes.

"Us as a couple, yes. Us as two individual beings being alive by the time spring comes, I'm not so sure about." I grunt as I struggle to lift a rolled up piece of… rubbery plastic? "I'm gonna take a wild guess and assume that this is the kiddie pool and that I can't fucking lift it?"

"Yeah, that's it," Jonathan confirms and he walks over to help me with it. "Jesus!" he grunts once he finally lifts up the damned thing. "How the hell is this thing so heavy?"

"I told you before; no older sibling has enough upper body strength."

"Do you want to lift it?" he asks ironically. He obviously wasn't expecting me to take him up on the offer. "Hey, what are you-" he stops once he realizes that I can actually hold the damned thing. I just couldn't pick it up without dropping it; now that I am holding it properly, I can manage. Barely.

"Let's go before I drop it." I ignore his laughter as I march out of the shed and towards his car; I have to wait for him to open the trunk; the damned thing shakes the whole car when I drop it.

"You'll take Joyce and the girls," I look up when I hear the chief's voice and I register that he's talking to Jonathan, not me. I slam the trunk and watch as the kids are jumping into the backseat of the chief's car. "Follow me. You," I snap my head up, realizing that he's talking to me. "You still have that gun of yours?"

"Yeah."

"Do you know how to use it?" I want to role my eyes at his tone but I remember to look at this from his point of view. I'm a 16-year-old girl, what are the chances that I actually know how to use a gun? And in his defense, I wasn't exactly brilliant with it. So I just nod my head. "If you have to, use it." I nod again.

We don't have time to waste, so I hurry to get into Jonathan's car, followed by Nancy and finally, by Joyce and Jonathan. I look over at Nancy and I want to say something to reassure her, but I know that no matter what I say, the words won't do it justice. We are beyond reassurance now; we have a plan and we are doing it. She doesn't need me to tap her shoulder and to tell her that everything's going to be okay. At least I don't think she does. So I just offer her a small, half-hearted smile. For a moment there, I think that I did the wrong thing but she manages to smile back.

"I was willing to understand all of this earlier," Joyce suddenly speaks up. "The monster hunting, bear traps, all of it, everything. But what in the name of god are you doing with a gun?" she turns around in her seat and glares at me.

Crap.

* * *

When you feel useless, there's no fix for it. When there's nothing you can do but sit and wait, it's… pretty horrible. Doing nothing can eat you up from the inside. Now, we are all on a mission. Everyone has their task and we do not plan on stopping until it's fulfilled.

Jonathan and Hopper are in charge of the salt. Nancy and Mike are in charge of water. Dustin and Lucas are handling the pool and Joyce and I are taking care of Eleven. By the time they are done with making the sensory deprivation pool, Eleven will have the energy to find Will and Barb. And once she does that… well, we'll see what we're going to do then. We know where the entrance to this thing is, or 'the gate' as the boys are calling it, so we will probably regroup and find a way to get into the lab and to that place.

There's still a lot to do before that. Preparing the pool is going to take quite some time and as much as I would like to help make that process faster, I am needed here, just as much as Joyce is, because Eleven is shaking. She did seem calmer now, after Joyce had reassured her that everything is going to be alright, but she is definitely not at ease. When Joyce leaves to check on how things are going with the kiddie pool, I take my chance and I sit on Mr. Clarke's desk, right in front of here.

"We're all gonna be here," I tell her, mirroring what Joyce had told her earlier. "When you go into that bad place, you're not really there, El. You're going to be there with your mind but you, you will still be here. And we will be right there next to you, holding your hand. You're not going to have to be alone. That's what we've all been doing wrong all along. All of us, we've been trying to figure things out all alone. We didn't even realize how stronger we could be as a team. But… we're here now. And no one is going to be alone anymore. And that's… pretty cool, don't you think?"

She nods and smiles but I can tell she isn't really feeling it. What else can I do? I said we won't leave her alone and we won't leave her alone. Maybe then she'll realize that I mean it. After everything she has been through, does anyone have the right to blame her for having trust issues? Hell, if I were her, I'd be out of here. I wouldn't even bother with sticking around, let alone helping some completely random strangers. She's still here so I guess that says a lot about her character.

"Look, if it's going to make you feel any better, think of what will happen tomorrow, when this is all over," I suggest. "Think of all the fun you're going to have. We're going to find Will and then you can meet him too and become his friend. You can hang around with the boys, and I will take you shopping and teach you some good music and you can do everything the other kids are doing. I'm pretty sure we can even figure something out and you can start school here. You can do whatever you want, spend time with whoever you want to spend time with, eat whatever the hell you want to eat-"

"Eggos?" she asks, beaming up at me.

"Yes," I laugh at her random choice of food to eat; I would go for a roast dinner but I'm a carnivore to the bone. To each his own. "You can eat as many Eggos as you want. We can make an Eggo cake for you." I tell her; I actually have to check that one out. I'm not sure if I can even manage a regular cake, let alone an Eggo cake. But if she wants it, she'll get it.

"Thank you."

"No, thank _you_. Without you, we would be going in blind. You are saving our asses here." I think I'm on the right track because she actually chuckles at my comment.

"Guys?" I turn around when I hear Joyce's voice; she's by the door, along with Mike. "We're ready."

"Are you ready?" I ask and she takes a deep breath and nods her head. Well, now or never.

* * *

Despite being aware that Eleven knows what she's doing, I couldn't help but wonder if this is going to turn out as stupid as it looks. We managed to turn a kiddie pool into a science experiment, while hiding away in our middle school's gym. If someone was to walk in, not only would we be in trouble, but they'd probably thing we're insane. Which we might be, considering all that's been going on in the last week.

We wait as Eleven floats around the pool with her taped goggles. We wait and we wait. As we sit around the pool, the lights start flickering again; whatever she is doing, it's working. In a matter of seconds, we are in complete dark. And we wait.

"Barbara?" she suddenly whispers and Nancy, who's sitting right next to me, jumps up. El's breath hitches and the lights flicker again.

"What's going on?" Nancy asks.

"I don't know, it hasn't happened like this before." Mike tells her.

"What's wrong with Barb? Is she okay?" Nancy raises her voice at the girl but I don't even know if she can hear us at this point.

"Gone. Gone. Gone!"

Eleven starts panicking and Nancy breaks down in tears as we realize what Eleven is saying.

Barb is dead. Barb is… gone.

I don't know if I should turn to Nancy or Eleven, I don't know where to look as Joyce and Hopper are trying to calm her down. I can hear Joyce whispering reassuring words to her and I put my hand over their hands, as a silent way of showing her that I too am here. With my other hand, I grab Nancy's; her squeeze is so strong, I'm afraid she's going to break it. I look to Jonathan, who understands what my look means; he throws an arm around Nancy. She's not alone. She's not alone in this.

Eleven calms down and Joyce lets her go again; the only sound now is the faint movement of water and Nancy's quiet sobs. We need to know more. We need to know where Will is. As bad as I feel about thinking it, just because Barb is gone doesn't mean that Will is too.

We were too late to save her but maybe, just maybe, there's a chance we're not too late to save Will.

"Castle Byers."

My heart almost stops working when I hear Eleven utter those words. I turn to look at Jonathan; I was right. Will is staying near the house, whether it's because he can't move too far or because it's his safety blanket. That's why the lights aren't flickering in the house anymore. The Demogorgon found him there but Will didn't wander too far from it.

"Will?"

"You tell him… tell him I'm coming," Joyce utters in panic; is it panic or excitement. It sure as hell isn't relief. We're not close to him but at least we know where he is. "Mom is coming."

"Hurry."

This doesn't come from El. It comes from Mike's walkie-talkie. It's Will's voice.

Oh my god it's real. After everything, this is real too!

"Okay. Okay. Listen, tell him to stay where he is! We're coming! We're coming, okay? We're coming, honey!"

Suddenly, we can all hear whimpers over the walkie-talkie and Eleven jumps up, removing the goggles and shaking. Joyce and I are the first that get to her. She is shaking in our arms.

"We got you. We got you, El. You're still here."

I see the look Joyce exchange with Hopper and I know I have to take over. She follows him as he stands up and I keep a hold of El, who looks at me. She has... there's fear in her eyes.

"It's okay," I reassure her again. "You're right here. You're not alone, we're not leaving you alone. Now let's get you out of that water, what do you say?" I ask and when she nods her head, I help her stand up and walk out of the pool; Mike is waiting with towels and we both help her get dry.

She's going to freeze to death, we should have thought about this earlier. As I order them to sit on the bleachers, I take my jacket off and put it next to them. "For later, if you get cold." I say and she nods her head. I sit down before them, still silent. It's evident that no one is willing to speak up. What do you say after shit like this? Barb is gone and Will is barely holding on. What do you say to that?

I didn't bother with offering to go and look for him. I would do it gladly, in a heartbeat but I know Joyce and Hopper would allow me to go about the same time pigs start flying. I couldn't blame Jonathan for going after them; it's his brother, after all.

"They wouldn't let me." He simply states when he returns to the gym and it's clear that he's both annoyed and angry. There isn't much I can do to help him.

"Of course they wouldn't let you, we're the second line of defense," I shake my head, noticing the kids looking at me now. "If they fail, we're going to have to go after him. We're team B."

"Yeah, well I can't just wait here for team A to fail!" he snaps.

"Do you see a different option?" I ask, equally annoyed. I know it's the tension talking out of him and I know I shouldn't go all bitch on him but I'm not going to let him talk like that to me, no matter how annoyed and angry he gets. I'm his girlfriend, not his mental punching bag. "We're here and we're keeping them safe. Go and find Nancy, get her to come here. I'm staying with the kids."

He's definitely throwing a tantrum. He marches out of the gym, leaving me alone with them.

"You're keeping us safe?" Lucas breaks the awkward silence.

"Hell yeah," I smile. "I need to keep you occupied while Joyce and Hopper save the day. In fact, I think I have an idea. Give me a moment." I smile as I jump on my feet and start walking out of the gym.

"Where are you going?" Dustin yells after me.

"I'll be back in a second! Learn some patience, child!" I turn around just in time to see him giving me the finger. Which he tries to hide as soon as he realizes that I'm looking his way. "You're not even holding it properly, by the way."

Jesus Christ. The whole world is falling apart, Barb is dead, Will is in danger and what am I going to do? I'm going to teach a bunch of 12-year-olds how to properly give someone the middle finger salute.

I really shouldn't spend so much time with children.


	23. The Tide Is High

**And we are over 200! WOOHOOOOO! I am so happy guys, thank you, every single one of you! Thank you for reading, following, reviewing, everything. It's been 23 days and 23 chapters and I am over the moon. I can't wait to see where this story's gonna go (yup, I actually don't know it yet)**

 **Blondie – The tide is high**

 **As always, I hope you enjoy the chapter. Don't forget to let me know what you think! :)**

* * *

I'm the type of person who tends to assume things. While that is generally bad and not exactly advisable, the good side of it is that I am usually very right. I make assumptions, yes, but in some 97% I am on point. Like just now; I assumed that Jonathan did not even have the time to think, let alone take my camera out of the car. Well, now it's officially his camera, because my brother is an asshole. But I was fairly sure that he left it in the car and lo and behold, I was right.

"You went to get a camera?" Mike asks when he recognizes the object in my hands as I close the gym door behind me. "Really? Is this really the time for photography?" he asks in annoyance.

"When you think about it, it's the perfect time for photography," I shrug. "We've just got the confirmation that Will is alive and chances are, we're going to have him back. Sure, it could be better. Our collective moods could be better but let's face it, this is the first time we have the time to breathe."

I know things aren't peachy as I'm making them out to be. Barbara is… dead. It's easy for me to push that away when she wasn't my best friend. Nancy is probably falling apart. I'm going to help her in any way that I can but right now, the kids are my biggest worry. We are adults. We can handle things, even things as crazy as the ones that have been hitting us in the face for the last week. They can't. And even if they can, a helping hand wouldn't hurt, would it? So, I snap the camera into Mike's annoyed face. He rolls his eyes and El looks confused as hell, but I guess it's going to make a memory. Maybe not the best memory ever, but a memory still.

"Let me get one with all four of you,' I say and when I see that Dustin and Lucas are a little bit reluctant to join in on the photo session, I sigh and literally push them closer to El and Mike. "Cheese!" I grin to my reluctant audience, but I take a photo anyways. "Now, who's gonna take one for the team and take a photo of me with you guys?"

"Me!" Dustin jumps up; he's probably eager because he doesn't want to be in another photo but I don't really care. I take his place on the bleachers and I throw my arm around Mike; well, Mike and El both, since they are pretty tiny when compared to me. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one that smiled.

"What do we do now?" Lucas asks as I take the camera from Dustin; I snap another one blind, not even looking at what I'm capturing. "Could you please stop it with that?" Lucas sighs.

"Okay," I roll my eyes; so much for wanting to improve their mood a little bit. "We wait for them to come back for us. We wait for them to find Will."

"But what do we do if they don't show up?" Mike asks. I can tell it on his face, it's not a question he wants to think about but we all know what they're going into. I've been in it for a couple of minutes and it's more than enough to last a lifetime. They'll have to be in there for a while longer.

"Well, if they don't show up… we are going to drive you guys to my place. You'll stay there and hide. And we will go to look for them." I tell them. I'm pretty sure I can speak on Jonathan's behalf; there's no way in hell he would stay here with his brother and mother both being in the Upside Down. I'm not sure if Nancy will be as willing but I'm pretty sure she would. I know I'm in, no matter how dangerous it is.

I'm not going to let Will, Joyce, even Hopper get stuck in there. And I'm sure as hell not going to let Jonathan go in there alone. If they don't show up, we're going, with or without Nancy.

"And what do we do if you guys don't show up?" Lucas asks.

"You're thinking way too ahead dude."

"T, cut the crap and tell us what do we do!" Dustin snaps at me.

"You do nothing!" I lose my patience; I need to calm down. I'm not going to calm them down if I myself am angry. "Look, if that happens… there's not much you can do. There's no way in hell you're going in that place. Don't even think about it, any one of you. If we don't come back… go to your homes and act like everything is okay." I feel like such a bitch for saying it when I know all too well that they're not going to be able to act like that. Yet, we need them to. We need them to act and move on, if it does come to that. We can't have them looking for us, not even in this world, let alone in the Upside Down.

"And what about El?" Mike asks me.

I didn't even stop to think about that. When I thought about her, I always figured one of us will be there but if we all go in… I can't think negatively, but if we all go in there and if we don't come back out…

We all jump when the gym door suddenly opens; we all also breathe a sigh of relief when we see Jonathan. "Tina? Could you come outside for a sec? I need to talk to you." he tells me.

"Stay here, I'll be back in a minute," I glare at the kids before making my way out of the gym. I'm not surprised when I see Nancy waiting in the hall for me and Jonathan. "What's going on?"

"We're going to the police station." She tells me.

"Why?"

"To get the hunting stuff we bought," Jonathan explains. "We're going through with the plan."

"Oh, like hell you are!" I can't believe he's even suggesting it! "What are you gonna do, lure that thing out in front of four 12-year-olds?! Are you absolutely insane?"

"That thing killed Barb!" Nancy yells; of course, it's all her idea. She's driven by guilt and grief and I get it. Hell, if Jonathan got killed by that thing, I'd be thinking the exact same way she is. But Jonathan is very much alive and I am very much rational. "And Mrs. Byers and Hopper are going into a fucking trap! If that thing is in there, they are as good as dead!"

Okay, she has a point. It is dangerous and revenge would be quite nice but no!

"You can't bring your brother into such a risk," I shake my head. No way. "We can't do it here."

"We're not doing it here," Jonathan retorts. "We're doing it in my house."

"And what about the kids?" I ask.

"They'll manage on their own," Jonathan tells me. What?! "They've been doing great so far."

"I'll go and wait by the car." Nancy mumbles. As angry and as sad as she is, even she can see the fight that is about to occur. That's good; she can make a run for it and avoid the line of fire. She gets it but I don't think my boyfriend does.

"You aren't seriously suggesting leaving four kids unprotected in this shithole of a situation, are you?" I ask, not quite believing this entire situation.

"One of them has fucking super powers!" he yells. Yeah, like that solves every problem ever!

"Did you not see her just now? She's drained, Jonathan. She couldn't even levitate a cheeto, let alone save someone's life! You can't be serious! We can't leave them alone! We can't!"

"Fine, then you stay and keep them safe!"

His words are a verbal equivalent of a dead fish being smacked across my face. That's how it feels.

"And what, I am supposed to sit back here and let you and Nancy battle that fucking thing on your own?!"

"Yes! If you want to stay, stay! If you want to come with us, then come with us! But we are doing it, with or without you." he tells me. The moment I think that he can't even surprise me with anything anymore, he walks away. He just walks out of the school, leaving me to stand here like an idiot.

I have five seconds to make a decision. Five fucking seconds. Keep the kids safe or go with them?

Nancy doesn't have super powers. I'm not letting that asshole die tonight.

With a camera in my hands, I run out into the school parking lot, just as he was starting the car. He sees me and he waits for me to run to them; I throw the camera in before slamming the door with all the strength I have in me. I am literally shaking with anger.

"We need you more than they do," he starts to rationalize with me as he drives the car onto the road. "You can actually-"

"Don't you fucking dare," I growl. I swear, I never made a sound like this before. I was never this angry, not even with Steve when he broke Jonathan's camera. I am reaching completely new levels of anger right now. "Don't you even talk to me, Byers. Don't."

"Nothing is going to happen to them if they-"

"You don't fucking know that!" I yell so loud he actually jumps. "If something happens to those kids, I swear to god…" I don't even know what I'll do. I don't. I can't think about it, not when I'm in a car that's driving away from them. All I can think about is how fucking angry I am with Jonathan. "If you ever do something like that to me again, that's going to be the last time you ever talk to me. Don't you ever, _ever_ force my hand like that!"

"If you want to stay than you can get out right now-"

"I can't!"

"Why not?!" he yells back at me.

"Guys, please don't." Nancy begs from the backseat.

"Oh why don't you take a wild fucking guess buddy?! Why?! Why can't I?! You tell me!"

This is the worst silence of my life. I don't like silence, I despise it and I can't handle it, but this is an unexplored level for me.

I told them I'll be back in a minute. They're gonna wonder where the hell I am and I imagine it'll take them a couple of seconds to figure out that the three of us, that the three almost adults that should have been in charge of them just left! We left! We didn't even tell them where we are going, nothing! For all I know, they'll come after us! With a Demogorgon roaming around and with those people after Eleven, they should not have been left alone. Not by me, not by anyone else.

But I can't let Jonathan risk himself like that. I can't just… sit back and watch him march into his own death. Even when he's acting like a dick. He forced my hand. He literally made me chose between them and him. I don't care about regular rules of dating, they don't apply here. Yes, no boyfriend should ever blackmail his girlfriend like that. I guess a part of me is angry about it too but this is different. We are all in massive danger. And if something happens to those kids, I don't know how I'm gonna forgive myself.

And if it happens, it'll be Jonathan's fault. He's the one who made me choose. He made me choose between him and them and… even if we all make it until morning, I'm not sure if my choice will be the right one. He never should have done that.

I don't think I can ever forgive him for this. Even if we all make it out alive. I don't think I could do it.

"Look, I'm sorry," he sighs. "I really am. But I can't just let-"

"What part of 'don't talk to me' did you miss?" I ask in a very calm and low voice, especially given that I was screaming at him seconds ago. This time around, he doesn't respond.

That's how you know real anger, that's how you know you've pushed someone to the edge and beyond. When the pure rage dies down, anger and disappointment remain. And to hear that must be a thousand times worse than screaming. I know it's hard for me to say it, it must be hard for him to hear it. If he even cares, that is. If he actually cared, he would not have put me in this position to begin with.

No flowers, apologies or mix tapes of the world could fix this.

* * *

Somewhere along the way, I smoked all my cigarettes and I did not even realize it until I really needed one. Even the spare pack I keep in Jonathan's stupid car is empty and I am dying!

I could jump out of my own skin, that's how I'm feeling. As if all those emotions I have been feeling weren't enough, now I'm on edge because the idiot is trying to sneak into the police station to take all the hunting gear we bought. If he gets caught… I don't even want to know what can happen to you if you try to steal from a police station. Hopper might be fighting alongside us but once the fight is over, he's going to have to go back to being a cop and Jonathan is apparently a criminal now.

"Tina, I'm sorry," Nancy speaks up, much to my dismay; I was hoping we can go on with pretending that the other one isn't in the car. "It was my idea. I didn't know you would end up fighting because of it, I didn't want it to lead to that and-"

"Nancy, don't," I sigh. "Please," I add, not wanting to sound like a complete and utter bitch, even if that might be something that Nancy deserves. No, she doesn't. She made a mistake but she just found out that her best friend is dead. She gets a pass, no matter how angry I am. "I don't want to talk about it. Besides, it's not about going after the Demogorgon. It's about… everything else."

She couldn't understand it, nor do I want her to. I'm afraid that her ups and downs with my brother can't quite compare to the down Jonathan and I are at right now. This isn't an everyday situation, not when you have mortal danger involved. There are no rules, no right or wrong. You can only decide if something feels right or not and what Jonathan did is everything but. It's the last thing I want to talk about and at the moment, Nancy is the last person I would talk to about it.

"If you don't talk about it, it's only going to eat you alive and you know it."

"Yeah well, it's my choice, so you're going to have to respect it."

She can be right about it a thousand times over, I can't talk about it. Not when I have a Demogorgon to kill, not when I need to keep a leveled head. As leveled as it could be, given the circumstances.

A part of me was hoping that Jonathan would actually get caught, because then I'd be free to go back to the kids and he can spend the remainder of the night under arrest and sulking. That being said, I am not surprised when I hear the trunk open, something heavy being put in it and slammed, before he gets in the car; I turn my head away, suddenly finding the view from the window incredibly interesting.

"I got it."

The drive itself seems like it's been going on for hours, even if I know it's not. The moment he parks the car, I am out of it. I march into his house as if it is my own and the moment I am through the doors, I run to the kitchen and I start rummaging through the drawers.

"What are you looking for?" I hear his confused voice but I don't bother with turning around.

I don't respond as I keep looking; once I find it, he'll get his answer. And that he gets, as I let out a sigh when I finally find one lone cigarette. I swear, I never needed one more than I need it now. It feels as if I am being lifted by angels and floating around mid-air. I'm not, but it sure feels like it.

I don't get it, why the two of them are staring at me, but instead of saying anything, I just ignore them.

"We need the lights," Jonathan finally speaks up. "You two, you cover the lights and I'll take care of the bear trap." He tells us.

"Where is it going to go?" Nancy asks him.

"Hallway," he nods his head towards it. "We will lure him out into the living room and then we'll make a run for it. To my room, or Wills, it doesn't matter. Once it gets in the trap, we will light the son of the bitch up." He explains. The plan is as good as any, though I am fairly certain we're not going to make it out alive. Knowing better than to start another discussion, I just walk past them, into the living room and without saying a word, I started putting the lights back together.

For whatever reason, every single light is unscrewed. Given that Joyce really went out of her way to decorate the living room, it's going to take us quite a bit of time to get them all together.

All three of us work in silence, with the only noise being Jonathan hammering the bear trap to the floor. Nancy and I are working faster than I thought we would but it'll still take us some time. I have a feeling that Joyce and Hopper should already be in the Upside Down, if their plan didn't fall into a glitch. And it probably did, because with our luck… we haven't been lucky so far and I don't see how that could change. This isn't going to end well. There's no way of this ending well for us.

"That was the last one," Nancy announces with a sigh. "Now what do we do?" she asks.

"You help him with the bear trap," I tell her, not wanting to have a moment alone with Jonathan. "I'll improve your bat." She nods and listens to what I say. I nearly break out into dance when I notice a half empty pack of cigarettes on the table; I light another one and I walk over to the stereo. If I'm going to go through this shit, at least I can have some preparation music. Of course, the moment I blast the music, Jonathan looks up from the bear trap and directly at me; he doesn't hold my gaze and I imagine it has something to do with the way I looked at him.

I love Blondie, I love Debbie Harry with all my heart, but "The Tide is High" has to be the worst possible song for monster killing time. Still, I hammer nails into the baseball bat, feeling better than I did before I played the music. I think I get in about 15 nails, which has to be good enough. The bat is the last resort anyways, since we are definitely planning to shoot the damned thing down. Seeing as the two of them are still struggling with the bear trap, I decide to kill the time with dealing with the gasoline.

Now, I may not be a scientist but I'm pretty sure that pouring gasoline around a house while smoking a cigarette is a bad idea. The problem is, I don't really care. At worst, I'll explode, but hey, at least that will give them enough blood to lure out the Demogorgon, right? Two birds with one stone, the way I see it. They will go through with their stupid plan and Jonathan won't have to deal with me afterwards. Hell, I'm probably doing him a favor.

I start in the living room, just in case. It's a massive issue, since we don't know where the thing is going to show up; we are planning to spill blood in the living room but for all we know, it can come out of the bathroom. And if I pour gasoline everywhere, we're fucked. The house can… explode. Still, I start in the living room and I go through the hallway.

Jonathan and Nancy move when I get to the bear trap and I really don't go easy on it; that's where it's going to burn now.

"Which room do I go to now?" I ask as the gas keeps pouring onto the floor.

"My room," Jonathan tells me and I just nod as I leave the bear trap to them and make my way to Jonathan's room, leaving a trail of gasoline behind me. How bad is it that I hope the fire will catch Jonathan's photos? At least those he took of me. I'm angry enough to not want him to have any memories but I think I'm still rational, seeing as I don't look for the photos to soak them in gasoline. "We're done!" he announces from the hallway, just as I finally managed to empty the bottle.

"Now what do we do?" I ask as I walk out into the hallway.

"Blood." Nancy sighs.

Once again, I work in silence. I turn off the stereo as the two of them move the table closer to the wall, to leave space in the middle of the room.

Jonathan hands me a knife and I look up in confusion; he has a knife in his other hand to and so does Nancy. "Are you serious?" I ask and both of them just shrug. Oh brother. "Look, if I have to be the one, it's not a problem, but how the hell do you think it's going to be a good idea if we all cut ourselves? We need our hands. We're going to have to fight this thing. How do you think we're going to do it if all three of us are injured?" I ask; apparently, I'm the only one who still has some common sense here. I don't have a particular desire to be the one who provides the blood but I'd rather do it than to have all three of us do it. We need to be able to fight it. We can't just… hurt ourselves in advance!

"She's right," Jonathan tells Nancy. "But how do we decide?"

"Rock, paper scissors?" Nancy suggests. Well, that might just be the only fair way do to this. I am safe in the first round, having rock over their scissors. I watch as the next round ends up in a tie with two scissors. And then Nancy loses; paper beats rock. "Okay. Okay. Okay." She nods her head. I can see the look on her face, the look of 'just do it and be over with it' and I look away at once. I don't have to see it to know it had happened; I hear her gasp. "Son of a bitch!"

"No, not the palm! Nancy!" I snap in annoyance when I see where she's bleeding. "How are you going to hold a gun now?" I ask. Seriously, it would have just been better if I took the knife and did it myself.

"I'll manage." She manages to utter, clearly focused on the pain.

"Come on, get over here, let's get this thing fixed," I tell her as I sit down on the couch and grab the first aid kit we had prepared earlier. She's bleeding like crazy. If that thing is drawn by blood, there's no way it's not going to react to this. I'm no nurse but I'm doing my best. I bind her hand, watching as she jumps up at every tiniest noise. "Don't worry, we'll know when it happens." I mumble.

"How?" she asks with a frown.

"Mom said that the light speak before it comes." Jonathan explains and Nancy looks even more confused.

"They blink, flicker," I elaborate. "We will know when it comes. And when it does…"

"Run to Jonathan's room," Nancy nods her head. "Don't step on the bear trap."

"We wait for the yo-yo" I continue.

"And then we burn the son of a bitch." Jonathan finishes.

"Who would have thought that killing a monster from a different dimension is such a picnic, right?" I comment as I am finally done with taking care of Nancy's hand; I did the best I could, but once this is over, we're taking her to the hospital to have that thing checked out, just in case.

"Tina?" Jonathan asks and reluctantly, I look up at him. I can tell that he's struggling to say what he wants to say, whether it's because Nancy's here or because he doesn't really want to say it. I wait. I don't have anything else to do, after all. "I'm sorry." He finally manages to utter under his breath.

"Don't lose sleep over it," I look away from him. "It's my fault after all. You're that guy."

"What guy?" I don't even have to look at him to know that he's confused as hell.

"Nothing," I shake my head. "Forgot I even said anything."

He might not get it but I do. I remember it, as clear as day. I thought that what Steve told me was a load of crap. Or that it's an occasional case and that Jonathan and I would end up being an exception to the rule. Hell, we were nothing back then; I was bawling my eyes out because he was ignoring me, thinking that's the worst thing ever, the biggest problem we will ever face. I remember Steve's speech as clear as day. Being with someone is like giving them the power, the ability to hurt you but trusting and hoping that they won't do it.

I didn't think I'd be stupid enough to fall into that trap. I thought more of myself, that I was stronger and more independent, that a guy will never change that, even if the guy was _the_ guy. Now I know that I was wrong because I did exactly what Steve had said. I gave Jonathan the power to hurt me, I handed it over with a red bow wrapped all over it, truly believing he wouldn't do it. And yet he did.

Steve's speech didn't end there, unfortunately. He also said that if such guy exists, he can never know that he has that kind of power. Never, ever. Jonathan knows it. I don't know if he used it willingly but he did use it. I don't know if he wanted me to come with them or not, I don't know if he thought that forcing a decision onto me will play in his favor. Jonathan isn't calculated like that. At least I don't think he is. Seeing what had happened in the last 24 hours, maybe he is and I got it all wrong.

Whether he did it on purpose or not, he did it and it hurts like hell. I'm not sure how I'm going to get over it, or if I'm going to get over it at all! And unfortunately, it highly depends on how this night will end for all of us.

Well, at least if one of us dies, I won't have to worry about that anymore, will I?

"Why is it taking so long?" Nancy asks, shaking with impatience. I might not be panicking as she is but I am a bit worried about the slight delay. What if it's busy with Joyce and Hopper? What if they are already in the Upside Down and something bad had happened?

Or what if we are completely wrong? What if it doesn't react to blood at all, what if it is not drawn to it? It was a theory from the start and theories can be as wrong as they can be right.

"It will probably happen soon," Jonathan mumbles. "We just have to wait for it." he tells us. Not wanting to risk anything, I take a gun from the table and I hand the other one to Nancy. I still don't get how she could be stupid enough to cut her palm. I get, theatricality and all that, blood sacrifice and while it's all very poetic, it's not practical at all. But she holds the gun and doesn't complain about the pain.

A loud knock on the door makes us all jump up and the three of us exchange looks; monsters don't knock. I doubt this one suddenly developed manners.

"Jonathan?!"

My blood freezes when I recognize the voice. I look over at Jonathan, who looks equally as shocked as I do. What the hell is he doing here?! He never… I'm going to kill him, I swear to god. I will kill him with my own two hands!

"Are you there man?! It's… it's Steve!" he yells. Nancy's eyes go wide; she's the last one to pick up. But of course my brother would show up when we're trying to lure out a monster from a different dimension, his timing has always been impeccable!

"Listen, I just want to talk!" he yells as he knocks on the door again.

"You get rid of him." I tell Nancy, knowing I would only end up making things worse.

This isn't going to end well.


	24. Carry On Wayward Son - Part 1

**Well, if they're going monster hunting, and if Stranger Things is a show full of nods to other movies/shows/books, I might as well give a little nod here to the best monster hunting show ever. Here's to you, Supernatural!**

 **1) Kansas – Carry On Wayward Son**

 **Thank you, all of you. If I could, I'd send ya all a hug and a chocolate cake :D Thank you for your reviews, especially Andy, since I couldn't respond to it over PM**

 **It's your comments that keep me writing like this. So thank you, for being the best muses ever :D**

 **Now, for the chapter. I hope you like it. Feel free to review, you know I'd love it.**

 **Let's get ready to kick some Demogorgon ass :D**

* * *

I don't know which emotion is stronger in me right now, anger or fear. On one hand, I want to strangle Steve for showing up at the worst time possible and on the other, I just want him to go away and be safe. If we are in the line of danger, he doesn't need to be in it too. And I thought that Nancy was going to be able to keep him away but my hopes are shattered when he marches past her and into the house. I watch as he looks around in shock; the blood on the floor, the nailed bat, all the stringed Christmas lights, Jonathan and me on standby, Nancy's injury…

"What-What is this? What the hell-"

Jonathan jumps up before I have a chance to, grabbing Steve by the shirt.

"Listen to me, you need to get out of here! Right now! I'm not asking you, I'm telling you!"

"What is that smell?" Steve asks, completely unfazed by Jonathan's words. "Is that gasoline?"

He's not going to leave. God knows what is going on in his head but there's no way in hell we will manage to get him out of here in seconds, not unless I do something about it. I grab the gun.

"Steve, get out!" I yell; right on cue, Nancy and Jonathan step away and Steve's eyes widen.

"Wha-wha-WHAT?! What is going on?!" he yells.

"You have five seconds to get out of here or I'll shoot you, I swear!" I am shaking, my whole body is shaking. The gun in my hands is shaking too, but I squeeze it, knowing Steve's not going to buy it if I do not look as if I am absolutely willing to kill him. I need to look angry and I think I can pull 'angry' off.

"Is this a joke? Okay, put the gun down. Tina, please, just put the gun down!" he tries to rationalize with me. He's really not going to leave unless he thinks I am actually going to shoot him. So I take a better aim; I aim the gun directly at my brother's chest.

"Three… two…" I start counting down.

"No, no, no, no, no! TINA!" Steve yells, finally taking me seriously.

"TINA!" Jonathan and Nancy yell from the top of their lungs. "The lights!"

My heart drops when I realize that the lights have started flickering. I was so focused on getting Steve out of here, I forgot the real danger, the real problem. "Where the hell is it?"

"I don't know!" Nancy yells as she takes the gun and stands behind me, back to back. Jonathan grabs the bat and we stand, looking, waiting.

"Will someone just explain to me what is going on?! What the hell are you doing with that?!" my brother yells but no one has a chance to respond. A loud bang comes from the corner of the room and it takes me a moment to realize that the ceiling and the wall are falling apart. Moments later, that thing starts coming out of it. It's the same, absolutely the same as the thing we Nancy and I saw in the Upside Down. The Demogorgon is here. I start shooting even if I'm unable to see where my bullets are going. I don't even know if I hit it or not. All I know is that Jonathan grabs me around the waste and pulls me back into the hallway. The plan.

"JUMP OVER!" I yell as I jump over the bear trap, hoping my brother will get the message.

I slam the door shut once Steve runs inside; I slam it and move away from it, aiming at the door as Jonathan gets the lighter ready; I don't even have the time to register Steve's panic before Nancy tells him to shut up. We wait with our eyes on the yo-yo. I can even hear the sound it's making, the Demogorgon. I can't hear it moving around, I can't hear it breaking and moving things as it goes but I can hear the sound it makes, some sort of animal noise. I've never heard anything like that before. Well, I did, when I was in the Upside Down.

The yo-yo isn't moving. Wherever it is, it is not in the bear trap. If it was, the yo-yo would have moved.

"Where the hell is it?" I mumble; the lights still flicker, but nothing else is happening. Nothing. And it stops. I look over to Jonathan and then to Nancy. Nothing. It's not here anymore. It's not here.

"Should we go out?" Nancy asks. No one speaks up, no one says that it's a bad idea and when I open the door, no one tries to stop me. Slowly, very slowly and careful not to make any kind of noise, we walk into the hallway, one by one. How the hell did I end up being the first one in line?!

I skip the bear trap and before I'm out of the hallway, Jonathan takes the lead and walks before me, with the bat at the ready. Once he doesn't react in any way, we follow him. Slowly, I turn around the room, looking at every corner where a thing like that could hide but I don't see it. And the lights… they stopped flickering earlier. Is it really gone? Is it really possible that it's just going to walk away from a served meal? No way. No fucking way. It's either here and we don't see it or it's going to be back.

"This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy!" Steve has a breakdown. I can't really blame him when I felt the same way when I crawled through a hole in a tree and ended up in a different dimension. He did not have time to process this and unlike Jonathan, Nancy and myself, Steve isn't exactly… a calm and rational person. I let him panic. I am willing to let him panic until I see him picking up the phone. I run to him, snatch the phone out of his hands and throw it on the ground, breaking it. Joyce will kill me.

"That thing is either in here or about to come back," I deadpan. Now is not the time for his shit and judging by the way he is looking at me, he knows it. "You need to leave. Now!"

"And you need to come with me!" he argues.

"Like hell I am," I almost laugh in his face. He can't even begin to understand what I had to do in order to get here. After all the shit I had to go past, I am not leaving this place until that son of a bitch is fried. "You need to leave, I mean it. For once in your miserable life, don't be a selfish dick and do what you are told. You need to leave. Get out. Don't test me, you know I'll shoot you if I have to."

I would never shoot him, no matter what he does. But he apparently doesn't know that. Not saying a single word, he runs out of the house, almost leaving skid marks as he does. I am glad he's out and safe. He never should have ended up in this mess to begin with and I am glad he's out of it but a tiny part of me is hurt at his willingness to leave me in such a danger. I wouldn't leave him, not even if he pointed a gun at me and promised to shoot. But that's the difference between Steve and me. I care and I do stupid things for those I care about. Steve cares to, but only for his own ass.

It doesn't matter. He's out and that thing will be back and we need to be ready for it.

The lights start flickering again and in one second, we are back to back again, looking for it, ready to attack. Just like the last time, I can't see it. The lights are doing their job but I can't see it.

"Where the hell is it?!" Nancy snaps.

"Come on! Come on you son of a bitch, come on!"

I don't know if Jonathan provoked it or not but the moment all the lights die, I feel like screaming. I look around but I wouldn't even see a hand in front of my face. Then I hear it.

"Jonathan!" Nancy yells from the top of her lungs and I'm sent flying; the moment I hit the ground, I turn around and realize what had happened. As the thing threw Jonathan on the ground, the two of them pushed me away. I watch in terror as that thing is on top of him; it opens its head, or mouth, whatever the hell it is, just like I've seen it do before. I want to shoot but I realize I have no gun in my hand anymore; I dropped it. I look around, frantic, not being able to watch as that thing comes closer to Jonathan. I see the gun under the table and as I dive to it, I hear gunshots. Nancy is shooting and I watch as the thing finally moves away from Jonathan.

The problem is, it's turning on Nancy now. She is shooting but the damned thing isn't even flinching. I can't see where she is but the moment I hear clicking noises of an empty gun, I know it's my turn.

I manage to stand up and I shoot it, trying to aim for its head and hoping I won't hit Jonathan or Nancy as I do so. It turns around to me but I don't know how it can see it when it has no eyes.

"It's me you want."

WHY?! Why am I trying to tease a fucking monster?! Why can't I, for once in my life, keep my mouth shut?! Stupid or not, it works and that thing completely ignores Jonathan and Nancy as it starts making its way over to me. For such a monster, it's pretty slow. Or maybe it likes to make a show of hunting it's pray. I shoot and I shoot and this time, I see the bullets actually hitting it, despite the flickering lights. Nothing happens. Nothing fucking happens, not even when I empty my gun into it.

Well, I had a good run. 16 years. Could have been more. Could have smoked weed, had sex, told my dad to go to hell a couple of times but hey, I had a boyfriend, found friends near the end and slapped my brother. Could have been worse. I just wish I was going in a more elegant way. In a cooler way, with a cigarette in my mouth and cruising down the highway at full speed. But a human eating monster from a different dimension will have to do. I just hope Jonathan and Nancy have a chance to run away.

"Not my sister, you son of a bitch!" I hear Steve screaming and I blink rapidly, watching in confusion as he starts swinging the nailed bat at the thing. And this is actually working! We emptied two guns into that thing and the only thing we did was make it angrier but Steve is actually hurting it.

"Steve, look out!" Nancy yells but Steve doesn't register her at all. He just keeps hitting the thing and it takes me way too long to realize that he's trying to corner it into the hallway. I run to Jonathan, who is still very much alive and I take the lighter out of his hands. Click. Groan. "Hurry, it's in the trap!"

I run and I throw the lighter, watching as it lights up the gasoline trail right onto the bear trap, where that bastard was trapped in. It starts screaming and screeching and just as the whole thing was becoming too much for me, Jonathan runs before me, with a fire extinguisher he stole from the station and he sprays it all over the damned thing, trying to stop his house from bursting into flames.

The smoke and foam are dying down but without fresh air, it's difficult to breath. We all cough and I feel a hand on me; I don't even know who it belongs to, I still can't see. Slowly, the air before us starts to clear. I look and see that Jonathan is holding my forearm. "Are you okay?" I just nod my head.

"Where the hell is it?" Nancy asks and I look at the trap. There's nothing there, not even a body. Something is sizzling on the trap, skin or slime but it's not there. The think is not there.

"It has to be dead. It has to be." Jonathan mumbles.

The lights start flickering again, one by one, down the hallway and towards us. Steve stands before us, ready to swing if the thing shows up as we slowly back away down the hallway. It stops, before the lights start shining in a different direction; they light up away from us. As we exchange looks, I can tell that they are as confused as I am. We follow it anyways. The lights that are blinking now are the ones closest to the door. Whatever it is, it is going away.

"Mom." I hear Jonathan whisper.

Oh my god! He's right! It has to be Joyce and Hopper! Will used to communicate through the lights. I don't think Joyce is trying to do that but maybe their presence is enough to make them flicker!

We all follow Jonathan as he walks out of the house; the lamppost starts flickering. He's right.

"Where is it going?" Nancy asks.

"Will someone finally tell me what the hell is going on?" Steve asks. I guess it's my turn now.

"Let's get back in the house," I mumble. "You're going to have to sit down for this one."

* * *

As I was talking Steve through all of this, I realize that not once did I even stop to consider the possibility of actually telling him about any of it. I was in danger, in serious danger, battling things that were too difficult for me to battle and not once did it even cross my mind to tell him.

We used to be close once but that was before he started to care about high school fame and before I decided I don't give a shit about it. We grew up and grew apart. We were more individuals than we were a team. Despite still having some sibling moments that could warm my frozen heart, it pales in comparison to what we were like as kids. I had no friends in elementary school. Why? Steve was enough. He was my teammate. I know we can't go back to that and I know we'll continue to butt heads on a daily basis but I should be able to trust him with something like this, right? I had a chance to tell him everything. And I didn't. And him being a dick during the last week isn't a good excuse.

He did and said things he should not have done and said. But that's not something I can use to wash away my own guilt. I should have told him. Even if he couldn't help in any way, even if it wouldn't bring me any good, I should have told him. Or I should just have known that I can tell him if I want to.

It might be too little, too late now. Nonetheless, I tell him everything. And I don't spare him the details. I tell him that when Will went missing, Joyce started to lose it and how we didn't believe it until we saw the photo. I even show him the photo of that monster behind Barb. I tell him how we connected the pieces, how we went into a different dimension and how Jonathan and I were taking care of his girlfriend when he was stupid enough to think that Jonathan and Nancy were going behind our backs.

I even tell him about El. I tell him about what she can do and what she found out. I tell him how she's connected to all of this and what's behind Hawkin's lab; at least the stuff we know at this point.

Perhaps I should have spared him some details. It's very difficult to digest. I'm not completely over it and I had an insane couple of days. Steve just battled that thing. He was thrown into it with no explanation and no knowledge. And now I just threw all of this on him. I knew that he's going to need a little bit of time so I was willing to sit in silence, but he has been silent for a solid few minutes now and I can feel that I'm starting to lose patience. A cigarette would help but we already had one fire for the night.

"Okay," he finally speaks up, staring at the ground between us. I wait for a while longer. "Please tell me you just made this whole thing up to prank me or something." He finally utters.

How can you love someone and hate them at the very same time ?

"Did you not see the thing we killed just now?" I ask him; I stay calm, which is not something I am awfully good at. I want to shake some sense into him but that wouldn't really take me anywhere. If I stay calm and rational, he might actually see sense. Sense that tells him that this nonsense is actually real and not a product of his imagination, or a prank gone wrong. "Why the hell would I lie about any of this? You saw it with your own eyes, Steve. That wasn't Tommy in a costume playing one on you. And if you still refuse to believe it, how the hell were we supposed to know that you would show up?" I ask. He nearly ruined everything. And at the same time, if it wasn't for him, we would be dead. At least I would.

"How the hell did you end up in this mess?" he asks and for the first time in a very long time, he's not talking down on me. He doesn't sound condescending. He actually sounds worried.

"I didn't chase it around, I can tell you that," I sigh, before realizing that my statement isn't entirely true. I quite literally chased trouble around, twice. Not to mention that I nearly died both times. Steve's raised eyebrow tells me that he's been paying attention to what I was saying and that he knows very well I'm not honest right now. "Okay, I didn't start looking for it but yeah."

"You should have told me about this earlier."

"No," I shake my head. I'm right and that makes me sad. "You wouldn't believe me, not if you didn't get a chance to see it like you did tonight. You would think I was crazy, you wouldn't believe me and you'd laugh it off and the situation would still be shitty and I'd be out of patience."

"If I knew that Jonathan was chasing a fucking monster, I wouldn't have broken his camera," Steve tells me. Now he's the one who's lying. He didn't break it because he was in the woods; he broke it because he took photos of me. Steve actually blushes when he notices my look. "Well at least I wouldn't have picked a fight with him if I knew why you were at Nancy's to begin with."

"He really kicked your ass, didn't he?" I smile as I take a careful look at Steve's face; so much for Jonathan not having any upper body strength. He kicked Steve's ass and it is obvious.

"Yeah, gloat instead of him."

"Oh, I'm not gloating," I chuckle half-heartedly. I feel as if my batteries are completely dead. I did not stop moving since I woke up and I didn't get much sleep to begin with. I feel as if I could faint at any given moment. "Things aren't exactly peachy but it doesn't matter now."

"What happened now?" Steve sighs and I just shake my head. I wasn't ready to talk about it with Nancy, I am not ready to talk about it with Steve. "Didn't we just reach the conclusion that you could tell me anything?" he asks as he puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Thank you," I mumble. My voice is so low, I don't even know if he heard me. I look up at him and I see the tiniest of smiles there; he heard me. "If you didn't show up, we might have ended up dead. I would have ended up dead for sure. Thank you. You literally saved my life. And I'm sorry too. I'm sorry for the way it's been and… for everything that you think is my fault. I'm just sorry. And I am extra sorry for slapping you. As much as you deserved it, I should not have done it."

"Thank you and I'm sorry," he replies, grabbing a hold of my hand. "I'm sorry for everything. Not just the way I've been acting lately but… I'm sorry for the camera, for being a dickhead about you being with Jonathan, for being a dickhead in general. It took me a while but I realized that I was wrong. And I'm sorry." He tells me.

I wasn't expecting to turn into a pile of emotion and start crying, but that's exactly what happened. I burst into tears and I hug him with all the strength I have left in me. I don't know for how long I cry, but Steve doesn't complain. He takes it like a real big brother. Slowly, I start to calm down.

"Would you really shoot me?" he mumbles.

"Of course not, you dickhead!" I snap in annoyance, feeling him shaking as we hug.

"Yeah, I love you too." he chuckles.

"That doesn't mean it was smart for you to return," I pull away from him. "I will never be able to thank you enough for saving our asses, my ass in particular, put you shouldn't have done it."

"I told you before," he shakes his head, completely unfazed with my words. "You're my little sister. It is my job to keep you safe. Even if that means killing… Demo…gorgonzola."

"Demogorgon." I correct him. I need to stop hanging out with Dustin if this is what I'm turning into.

"Whatever," Steve chuckles. "Come on, wipe away those tears. Whatever happens, I'm here for you and you're here for me, but I think we have to make sure our romantic interests are still gonna be around."

"Oh brother," I sigh. "Nancy will forgive you, you know? She's really into you. And you are like a hero now." I mumble. He's not going to let that hero thing go away easily, knowing him.

"And you must love Byers like crazy if you're willing to go through all this shit for him."

"I don't love him." I shake my head. Especially not after earlier events.

"Yeah, and my hair isn't majestic even after a monster hunt," Steve rolls his eyes at me. "Go. Talk to him. You're not the only one going crazy in that relationship."

I don't want to do it, I really don't. In fact, talking to Jonathan is about the last thing I feel like doing right now. Unfortunately, just because I don't want to do something doesn't mean that I can avoid it. I really can't. It needs to be cleared out, no matter how painful it is. I leave Steve alone and walk out of the room, like a dog with a tail between its legs. I find Jonathan and Nancy sitting at the kitchen table; both of them jump up when they see me. I can't tell which one of them looks more worried right now.

"Steve would like to talk to you." I tell Nancy, who forces a small smile. As she walks past me, she squeezes my shoulder. It's a sign of support but I can't tell for what. Is it a "we did it" squeeze or is it a "it'll be okay, even if you break up with the only guy in history of time that you have ever liked" kind of squeeze. Our friendship is too fresh for me to be able to decipher shoulder squeezes but it means something nonetheless. I smile as she walks away, knowing that at least one couple will sort their shit out tonight. I fall into the chair Nancy had occupied just seconds ago.

"I found one for you," Jonathan speaks up, taking me by surprise. I was expecting a long and awkward silence. I crack a smile when he pushes a cigarette across the table. He knows me. Whether I want to admit it or not, he knows me well. He knows I need it more than I need air, at least at this point. I find a lighter on the table and things go back to normal as soon as I light it; awkward silence. This is more like it. It's horrible and uncomfortable but not surprising. "How did Steve take it?"

"As well as expected," I sigh. "Actually, better than expected. He's a bit angry I didn't tell him about all of this earlier but mostly, we were just crying, hugging and apologizing. I suppose it will be good for a couple of days."

"Until he uses all of your hairspray?"

"Yeah, pretty much." I laugh. It's a nice change, to see him smile. It's a shame it doesn't erase the anger I still feel. He really pushed me too far. I'd love to ignore it and go back to normal. There's nothing I'd like to do more! This is… it's so close to being over, this whole mess. That thing is dead and if Joyce and Hopper come back with Will, it will finally be over. We are so close to the end I can almost touch it. I would love to have something to look forward to but I am so fucking angry. And even more than that, I am hurt. I'm not even sure if Jonathan can see that. He knows I'm angry, I made sure of that. But is he even aware that he actually hurt me?

"I'm sorry," he tells me and I look up from the ashtray I was staring at. "I didn't stop to think. All I was focused on was that mom and Hopper are going in there and that thing… I didn't stop to think what kind of danger I'd force you into. You… it could have killed you. You should have stayed there and I'm sorry."

"If I wasn't here, you would probably be dead," I tell him. Once again, my voice is strangely calm. "In hindsight, the decision wasn't a wrong one, even if you think it was. But it's not the decision that's the problem here. It's not that I was in danger to help you. That's… that's really not the issue. The problem is that you couldn't respect my opinion. You knew I didn't want to do it. And you made me chose. You made me chose, knowing all too well I would end up choosing you."

"Tina, I didn't know that," he shakes his head. "I couldn't have known that-"

"I would always choose you," I utter, feeling my eyes filling up with tears again. I wasn't planning on crying. I don't want to cry, not after everything. He already knows too much, he already has too much power over me. I shouldn't be giving him this too but… it's the truth. I can't give him something he already has in his hands. "If you didn't know, now you know."

I can tell it on his face that he's taken aback. That's the issue. He doesn't see himself the way I see him. He doesn't realize just how much he means to me. If he stops and looks back on the last seven days and everything I have done for him or with him, it should be transparent. But he's just blind to it.

"I don't want to lose you over a stupid mistake," he finally speaks up. "I don't want that. I don't think I could handle that. I am really sorry, Tina. I don't want to lose you because of it."

"And where the hell do you think I'd go?" I ask. That's a different problem. As Steve put it, 'that guy' can do whatever the hell he wants, and I'll always come back running. It's as simple as that. Jonathan is 'that guy' for me. No matter what he does, no matter what he says… it doesn't matter. I'll be right back to the place I was before. And that's a big, huge problem. But he's not that kind of guy. I don't think he's the kind of guy who would take advantage of that. The look on his face when I said I'd always choose him was a look of complete surprise and shock. He didn't force me into a decision because he knew I'd go with him, he forced me into a decision because he was being stupid and he wasn't thinking.

So I'm giving him the power again. Despite being burnt the first time, I'm giving him the power over me and this time around, he will know that he has it. This time around, if he uses it against me, if he takes advantage of it… if he ever does it again, I will be done. I will turn around and walk away because if he's going to be 'that guy' he's going to be it because I want him to be, not because my heart is forcing me into it. My call. My decision. "I'm not going anywhere. You're not going to lose me. But what I said before, I meant it. If you ever do that to me again, if you ever use the fact that you know I'd chose you over nearly everyone else, I'll go."

"If I ever do that again, you should." He deadpans.

"I'd do a lot of shit for you, Jonathan. Or with you. Look at what had happened? I was right by your side, holding your hand and I'd do it all in a heartbeat but don't you dare use that against me."

"I didn't know what I was doing."

"I know," I nod my head. "That's why I'm still here. But now you know and now it's in your hands. You decide what you want to do with it. But I'm not going anywhere. If you ever lose me, it'll be your doing. And you'd better not do that because I really, _really_ don't want that to happen. I don't think you even realize just how much I don't want that to happen." Once again, tears.

I'll never be able to stand my ground when all I want is to have him by my side. But I know the guy. I don't think he'd do something like this again. If I am proven wrong and if he does… it'll be over.

"I know now," he reaches for my hand and squeezes it. "Believe me, I know it. I know because I really don't want that to happen either. I know it. And I'm sorry. I won't put you into that kind of situation ever again. I'm not letting you go. You know I-"

We both jump up in surprise when the phone starts ringing. I look down at the floor where it is lying since I grabbed it out of Steve's hand and threw it on the ground. "How the hell is that thing still working?" I ask in disbelief as Jonathan jumps to answer it.

"Yeah? Yeah? Oh god," he sighs; I go into full panic mode for a second before realizing that he has a smile on his face. I look over to where Nancy and Steve now stood, alerted by the ringing just as we were. "We will be there. Yeah. Yeah. We'll be right over." He puts the phone back on the wall.

"What is it?" Nancy asks.

"They found Will," Jonathan announces. "They're in the hospital but it looks like he'll be okay."

I stumble over a chair, not seeing clearly from all the tears; I throw my arms around Jonathan and I can't even tell which one of us is sobbing more.

It's over. It's finally over. The thing is dead, Will is back with us and life can finally go back to what it was before all this shit happened. It's over. It's finally over and we're still standing.

I pull away from Jonathan, watching the biggest smile I've ever seen on him, mixed with tears.

"Let's go and see how Willster's doing."

Oh my. I don't think he should have kissed me in front of Steve, not when we're all still walking on eggshells around each other. But he did kick his ass earlier; if Steve attacks, he can defend himself. Besides, when he kisses me like this, the last thing on my mind is what my brother will think about it.


End file.
